Ubercontest! Make me a meal. (747 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.67 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sofa_Ace (View user info) at 2005-05-14 11:38:36 EDT
I'm out of money, food and inspiration, so I'm putting myself at the mercy of you, ubersite. I'm going to list all the food substances I have in my house, and I want you to try to come up with some sort of meal. Ready? Go.
About 30 cans of chicken noodle soup left over from the hurricane season.
Assorted cans of beans (red kidney, white kidney, great northern, lima, etc)
1 can of pumpkin left over from thanksgiving
6 cans peeled plum tomatoes.
4 fresh tomatoes
Fresh garlic, onion, rosemary, basil, parsley and mint and just about every dried spice you could need. Also, sugar, salt and shit like that.
Ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise.
Frozen breaded eggplant that had at one time been meant for a quick eggplant parmigiana that I never got around to.
Grated Parmigiana cheese and Romano cheese
Olive oil, cooking wine, dry sherry
1 box of parmigiana flavored couscous (I don't know)
1 box of macaroni and cheese
Oil cured black olives, Spanish olives, and Kalamata olives
Bok Choy
Carrots and celery
Matzo meal (No, I'm not Jewish. I just don't dig on swine, that's all.)
Raisins
Tortellini pasta.
Friskies cat food
1 cat (more than willing to sacrifice)
Bbq sauce
Orange juice
Milk
Seltzer water
Breadcrumbs
Frozen spinach and frozen brussel sprouts
Espresso
Lots and lots of beer.
There it is. I know somewhere in there is a wonderful home cooked meal, but so far the only things I see are bbqed cat with macaroni, and meatless chili.
oh yea, the winner will be whoever's meal I choose to make. You'll get some plus twos or something ... too hungry to think.
User Reviews
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-05-16 09:57:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Eat the cat. Live.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-05-16 09:39:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
hobo soup
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-05-16 05:35:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You know with a little thought and application you have about 25 meals there. At least.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-15 22:48:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
oh nooo. dont hurt the kitty.
Submitted by frap (user info) at 2005-05-15 03:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ah was dick on the list
because the only thing I would put in your mouth is my hard dick
thats a super sized meal if you know what I mean
ya know
did you get it
that was inuendo
I'm saying
thats what I do
super sized it was like a metaphor
I cleverly linked a large sized fast food menu item with a part of my body
that part: my hard goon bat silly loaf
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2005-05-15 02:53:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I love cooking!
You're gonna have to buy a couple of things but it will be worth it.
Get 2 pieces of chicken breast
1 cucumber
2 lemons
some rice.
Hokay. Dice the tomatoes, cucumber, parsley and onion for your salad. Then add enough olive oil and lemon so that it is juicy and throw in some salt for good measure.
Then, for the chicken do this: Put some tin foil in a baking dish. Coat bottom with olive oil. Squeeze lemon juice on the chicken then use spices on chicken including salt, marjorem, dried basil (or mixed green herbs) and chicken spice (if you have them. If not, then I dunno). Next, coat the chicken with the canned tomato, and make sure to cover it with diced (fresh) tomato, onion and parsley. Wrap the tin foil so it's closed and put in the over for like 20-25 miinutes, making sure to turn the chicken over at about 12 minutes. When you turn the chicken add half a cup of water.
Boil some rice.
You could also make bean salad with your beans plus parsley, onion, garlic, lemon juice, olive oil and salt.
You have way more food than me. If I were you, I'd be cooking up a storm right now!
Submitted by Ich (user info) at 2005-05-15 00:24:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for liking my suit! Yes, she knew about it before I made it. Stay brave!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-14 20:30:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Here- Have a sausage.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-14 20:23:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stuff the cat with the mayonnaise. Then go order a pizza.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2005-05-14 20:08:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kill the cat, skin it, dice it, saute. Mix in a big pot with tomato, a few cans of beans, onion and some chili powder.
Feline Chili.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-05-14 16:45:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-05-14 16:43:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
you want to have pasta.
fry up onions in olive oil, add drained plum tomaotoes, green herbs, salt and pepper. serve it on top of your maccaroni with some parmesan, it'll be fine.
---
put the beans and fresh tomatoes in too.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-05-14 16:43:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you want to have pasta.
fry up onions in olive oil, add drained plum tomaotoes, green herbs, salt and pepper. serve it on top of your maccaroni with some parmesan, it'll be fine.
Submitted by hairjr (user info) at 2005-05-14 16:27:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
mix it all in blender.. enjoy
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-05-14 15:37:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mix together some beer, espresso, seltzer water, milk, orange juice, and barbeque sauce, and chug it. Chase it with a shot of olive oil.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-05-14 12:11:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You've got plenty of food. You've got pumpkin, spices, and milk; make pumpkin custard by mixing them up and spooning into an oven safe pan and bake.
Make Italian soup with the veggies you have and the tortelini. You could probably use a can or two of the chicken noodle.
Make some soup stock with the spices, celery and carrots (use chicken buillion if you have it).
Go ahead and make your eggplant. I'd bake it some garlic and olive oil brushed over the top. Top it with the parm. cheese.
I wouldn't worry, the more hungry you get, the more imaginative you will become.
And always remember, the beer will make you forget that you're hungry and too lazy to get up and figure out how to cook.
Sheesh! hahahaha
Submitted by Sofa_Ace (user info) at 2005-05-14 12:04:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think chicken noodle soup, couscous, and beer might be a winning combination.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-14 11:56:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Chicken noodle soup, you lazy fuck.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-05-14 11:55:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
mmmm couscous.....
Submitted by Lets_B_Friends (user info) at 2005-05-14 11:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck fetish and fuck you
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-05-14 11:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whenever I see ingredients in a post I am reminded of that convicted pedophile Eric D. Rice (of Virginia)