RenTheUnsightly's System for Rating Women (788 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.07 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by RenTheUnsightly (View user info) at 2005-05-15 21:28:59 EDT
Uncontent with the vagueness and non-objectivity of the usual 1-10 system, and with a desire to elaborate and systematize qualitative ways of describing a women's physical appeal, e.g. "I'd fuck her if I was drunk", a friend of mine came up with a system for rating women. My friends and I then fine-tuned the system and the result is a system based on the conditions necessary for a romantic engagement (fucking). In rating a woman, this system requires that physical appearance be the
only criteria for judgment. Thus, no consideration is given towards the personality, sexual capabilities, or even sexual orientation of the woman in question.
Here it is:
1
-Unfuckable. Even alone with her on a desert island, with no hope of ever facing society again (or
rather, with no fear of society ever finding out). Also, you don't have long to live. Depending on
your use of the scale, this should probably be reserved for mildly retarded, wildabeast women--the kind you might see riding the bus at 8pm.
2
-Drunk and stranded on a desert island. That means death is imminent and no one will ever find out
you fucked her. But you would still need a few beers to make love to this heinous pig.
3
-Just desert island. This type of girl probably has only one obvious and terrible superficial flaw
(e.g. way fat, bad acne, transsexual*, etc.), whereas a "two" has many, but it's enough to make her
regarded as normally untouchable by the consensus of you and your friends.
4
-Drunk** and she pursues you. In a party situation, some of your more sober friends might try to warn you against the advances of a "four". Some of your more asshole friends will encourage you to hook up with a "four." A "four" could loosely fit the description of "skank-ass ho" or "fat, ugly bitch".
5
-Drunk and you have to put some effort. That is, this girl would be worthy of eliciting some decent
attempts at game--but only in a drunken haze. In a sober state, you would give this girl a glance, but would most likely not approach her. Almost average looking, but something's off.
6
-Drunk and you are willing to actively pursue her. This is my favorite type of girl. A six is the
average girl who, after some beers and some shots, transforms to super-hot. A reasonably attractive
girl, but when drunk, you prepare to unleash your best game.
7
-Sober and she pursues you. There are probably other, more attractive girls around, but she's good
enough that you'll settle. This is close to a "six", and the ratings could be interchanged, but
this way preserves some semblance of order to the system.
8
-Sober and you have to put some effort. This is an attractive girl whom you'd be proud to admit you
hooked up with to your friends.
9
-Sober and you are willing to actively pursue her. This is a hot girl. She gets hit on by guys all
the time, and you're just another schmuck. Without the confidence-giving powers of alcohol you probably don't think you have a chance, but you pursue her anyway--at least to impress your friends.
(10)
-This is a Diana, goddess-of-beauty type girl. Even models and hot celebrities aren't always "tens".
A rating of "ten" can be overturned with a veto of 1/3 of those polled.
*Just kidding. Trannies are "ones" by default, except in Miami, or in the case that you and your
friends are perverted 40-year old business men.
**The level of drunk assumed here is that stage where you're happy and everyone is interesting, but
you're only a few shots away from becoming reckless, belligerent, unintelligible, etc.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-16 12:58:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
pretty good
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-05-16 11:57:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Entertaining.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-05-16 08:58:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
informative
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-16 02:06:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds good to me man.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-05-16 00:40:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by MoneyG (user info) at 2005-05-16 00:25:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It was an interesting attempt at clarification, but I don't think anyone ever had much of a problem with the old scale as it was. Everyone knew that anything below a five should be in a kennel, six to seven was average and above, eight was good looking enough to make you go after her, and nines were bombshells. The Covented Ten is almost never assigned, and can be overturned by even the slightest flaw. In a general sense, only guys that have a personal attraction to a girl will give one a ten, because in doing so, you are ignoring whatever flaw would normally make her a nine. So in that sense, a ten constitutes perfection of the female form.
Submitted by XII (user info) at 2005-05-15 23:22:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You should try the beer scale. How many drinks before you'd give them one?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-15 23:02:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah you should have examples.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-05-15 23:01:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-05-15 22:47:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Posts like this always make me feel bad about myself. I hate overhearing guys talk negatively about other women...I'm usually shocked at how critical they are, and in that moment I suddenly become afraid of the world.
"Some people ooze sexuality, or have some other quality that makes you want to get into their pants."
I agree with this. I don't know what it's like for guys and other women, but the X-factor is huge for me. Some people just have that thing, a magnetism you can't explain. And it outweighs physical beauty--that's total honesty.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-05-15 22:38:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i concur...a little bit
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-05-15 22:37:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Spent all that time talking about women and never once mentioned big boobs, perky boobs or no boobs.
If your ratings system doesn't take that into account, you need to re-evaluate it.
What about the stupid ones, does the level of intelligence or lack thereof raise or lower them along your ranking system?
I understand your motivation but this could have been really good, with a little more thought and sarcasm.
Submitted by RenTheUnsightly (user info) at 2005-05-15 22:29:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no, this sytstem is based entirely on the visual. even something like a sexy voice doesn't count. I suppose this is sexist, but there's no reason why women can't have a rating system based on man-as-sexual-object.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-05-15 22:10:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Women don't rate on looks alone.
The part about the celebrities not being low scored crossed my mind. But there are comedic actresses, girls who play the "less attractive best friend." Of course those are the types you wouldn't remember the names of, I suppose.
This system is based only on looks but a lot of my guy friends use other factors to rate hotness. I'm not saying intelligence or a sense of humor or any of that stuff that they say to make themselves seem less boorish than they are. Some people ooze sexuality, or have some other quality that makes you want to get into their pants. Does stuff like that factor into your scale?
Submitted by RenTheUnsightly (user info) at 2005-05-15 21:59:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was hoping the descriptions were enough to understand the system by. But, for example, Rosie O'Donnell and Roseanne are low two's. Lucy Li is a 9. Alicia Keyes is a 8. It's hard to come up with celebrity examples, cause everyone on TV is at least a 8. But It would definitely be cool to see a woman post a rating system for men. A personal one, not some shit from Madamoiselle magazine or whatever.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2005-05-15 21:57:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Examples would be nice.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-05-15 21:42:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Could you give an example for each of the classifications? I'm having trouble visualizing some of them. This also would be useful to me because I like to translate male's female attractiveness ratings to female's male attractiveness ratings.
Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2005-05-15 21:40:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That is a sound system i think.