A Man On The Edge – Part IV - The Conclusion (600 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 2 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Merlina (View user info) at 2005-05-16 09:17:48 EDT
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Jean smoothed her hair down with the shaking hand as she went to answer the door. She started to try and convince herself that it would be the neighbour, old Mr Flaherty asking for help with something again, but even before she opened the door she heard the police radios chattering away.
"Hello, love" the taller of the two policemen smiled gently. "Can we have a word?" "Yes, yes of course, just in here...I'll put the kettle on... you must be cold..." she babbled, nerves overcoming her too much to even ask what was wrong. Because it would be something wrong wouldn't it? Why else do the police turn up? Isn't it everyone's worst fear when the doorbell goes? Well it certainly is mine.
"Sit down, love" said the tall policeman as he took off his cap, running his fingers through his thinning reddish hair. Ritchie McManus had been working too long today and was tired.
"He's okay isn't he? My husband", Jean suddenly started, a chill running through her suddenly as she abruptly sat on the worn faded couch. "There's not been an accident or.......? "No, nothing like that" said Ritchie. "But we found an abandoned car on the freeway and looked into it". Ritchie looked at his notebook. "Registration under Mr Harry Sneddon. I guess he's not here then?" he queried.
Jean closed her eyes for a moment, trying to control the panic. He has to be alright she thought. She loved Harry. It didn't seem like it much these days but she did love him. He just HAD to be alright
Her heart was thumping as she showed the policemen out. "Please call us when he shows up madam" Ritchie was saying to her. "yes, yes I shall" she muttered, distractedly. She closed the door and rested her hot head against it. It felt cool. She immediately went to the bathroom and started scrubbing her hands, as was her habit. She needed to think. Yes. She knew what she had to do. Jean dried her hands and ran down the stairs again. She reached up and grabbed her winter coat, the one Harry had insisted she bought last year to keep her frail body warm. Locking the door behind her, she rushed out into the blustery wet night.
She made her way to the spot where the policemen had said the car was and there it was. Apparently the door had even been left open. The nice policemen must have closed it. She tutted to herself in spite of her worry about Harry.
Her coat flew out behind her as she ran over the nearby bridge shouting his name.. "Harry" she yelled, tears coursing down her face "where are you?".. Jean looked up and saw a figure... or was it two figures? Up on the highest struts of the bridge. Harry? She frowned in confusion. And then realising it was him she started running, mud splashing up her bare legs. She ran to the man she loved since she was 16 years old.
The rain and wind howled. Jean Sneddon started climbing; hand over hand, higher and higher.
_ _ _ _ _
Up on the bridge, Harry had nearly fallen. He regained his balance and glared at the little creature sitting with him. Madness just smiled at him with its evil little face, eyes glinting like morning frost, its breath making foul smelling puffs as it breathed.
Madness walked towards Harry. Harry whimpered and tried to back away but couldn't move. He felt rather than saw Madness seem to almost.....enter.. his body. It bizarrely felt good. He let out a huge breath. He actually felt better than he had in years. Maybe he was okay.
He blinked suddenly as he saw his wife Jean edging her way across the struts. "Harry" she called. "Please come down.... we can talk....please".
Officer Ritchie McManus and his loyal companion Officer Gregg Lucas pulled up next to the abandoned car. Ritchie had not felt happy with leaving this situation. The poor man's wife had looked distraught. He shut the patrol car with a slam as Gregg joined him, pulling his collar up against the now tormenting rain.
Ritchie looked up and his mouth gaped in shock. He saw some figures up on the bridge. A man, going by his size.. (Could that be the guy with the car?) And a woman. Oh no, realised Ritchie... that's the wife... and then he looked closer.
He saw a little figure. It looked nearly.....inhuman... somehow. It was altogether too thin, its head too large and.... "Jeesus" Ritchie yelled as he run to the bridge at the same moment as the little creature ran to the woman, its elongated fingers outstretched, pushing the woman in the coat. She fell almost silently, the rain and wind covering the noise of the eventual splash her slight body made.
Harry stood alone on the bridge smiling, his eyes glinting like morning frost; the wind whistling round his ample figure.
Madness had indeed joined him.
In spirit, in mind..
In body.
Forever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The freeway is jammed
And it's backed up for miles
The car is an oven and baking is wild
Nothing is ever the way it should be
What we deserve we just don't get you see
A briefcase, a lunch and a man on the edge
Each step get closer to losing his head
Is someone in heaven are they looking down
Cause nothing is fair just you look around
Iron Maiden
User Reviews
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-09 09:49:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
appreciated.
You see why I don't bother putting effort into posts anymore - 8 reviews..
Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-10-09 08:50:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read all four before I rated these and the transitions were smooth enough that these could stand together as an awesome short story.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-19 13:26:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Rads_wife (user info) at 2005-06-13 23:19:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68315
WINNER!!! WINNER!!!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-05-16 10:47:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We can't have this on a serious writer's forum!
Wait....
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-05-16 10:21:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-05-16 10:01:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff, I enjoyed it heartily.
Submitted by richsghostdog (user info) at 2005-05-16 09:36:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great short story.Very inventive.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-05-16 09:21:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent. You write tension quite well.