Lost on the Highway (1006 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 2 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by GodChicken <Monty> (View user info) at 2005-05-16 14:47:34 EDT
Strange shit happens out in the desert.
Ever been out in the desert regions between California, Nevada, and Arizona? It's pretty empty. Then suddenly, you come over a rise that you didn't even know you drove up, and there it is, some rotted hulk of a building, an old gas station, a mobile home, something.
Other times, it looks like there is a shimmering lake full of cool water, halfway to the horizon. Always out of reach. Mirages, they call em. French word for visions. Napoleon's soldiers went mad from them, wandering the deserts of northern Africa. Started killing themselves.
Or maybe they went mad from something else.
I was headed out for a family wedding, taking the best route I could find. It was hot, and the sun was already starting to sink into the west. I rolled up over a hill of blasted, broken rock and crumbled sandstone that looked more at home on the moon that somewhere on earth. A splash of color, far down the long decline into the valley below, caught my attention.
This guy had to be the stupidest man on earth, and no way was he going to be getting laid again anytime soon. There they were, on the side of the road. A guy and his rather hot looking girlfriend, on a dirtbike of all things. With a flat tire. No can of "fix-a-flat", no tools, nothing. A single 1 liter bottle of water to share between the two of them, no call box, and in the middle of nowhere. No cellphones work out here. How the fuck did they get out here?
I stopped. Mistake number one.
"You guys need some help?" I leaned out of the car.
"Yeah, we've got a flat and you're the first person we've seen in three hours." The guy was a bit nervous, the girl looked obviously pissed off. I would be too, if I were her. It's fucking hot, and she's giving a wet t-shirt show whether she wants to or not.
"Well, I can give one of you a lift, but this is a two-seater, as you can see. I can take you to the nearest place and you can get some help there to come get your bike, or whatever."
"Eh, could you just stop at the next place down the road and tell them to send a truck? We'd appreciate it. There's a place not too far, take the next left off the highway."
"Sure. I'll tell em to bring some water too."
Guy didn't trust me. Didn't want to separate from his girl. I can't blame him, he leaves with me, he might come back to find both her and the bike gone like a mirage. Send her with me, I might be a whacko and do something to her myself.
Off I went.
A lefthand turn appeared out of the shimmering heat, about 10 minutes later. I've traveled this road before, and never noticed it, but hey. Everything looks the same out here after awhile. I probably just blew past it.
This road rose into the rocky hills to the north of the long valley the main road had been following. Sharp switchbacks, climbing to a "saddleback" between two large hills totally nude of any vegetation. Nothing new there. The saddleback wasn't very big. I dropped down into another valley much like the one I had just left about 20 minutes ago.
Green. Bright green, rising out of the desert ahead of me. I thought I was just seeing shit, but I was wrong. it kept coming. Alright, what the fuck? why is there a GOLF COURSE out here? The clump of palm trees and other, greener plants coming up on the right had to be something. It was. I stopped. Mistake number two.
I pulled into the front drive of a beautiful resort. The palm trees hung limp in the desert air, but it was cooler here, a large fountain twice the height of a man spilled crystalline water in a geyser. Behind it, double doors of smoked glass stood closed against the heat.
Inside, the polished stone floors and elegant brass and wood furnishings echoed with my footsteps. There was no other sound but the slight sound of air conditioning, and the bubbling fountain outside. I walked up to the front desk, empty, like the pool I could see through rear doors, and the parking lot outside. I rang the bell.
"Can I help you?" A nondescript woman with brown hair, totally unremarkable features, stepped out of a back room.
"Er...yes? I stopped out on the highway, a couple of people on a dirtbike had a flat tire near marker 260. I was wondering if you could call someone to go get them, or bring them a tire repair kit?" This place kinda creeped me out. Too quiet.
"Certainly sir. we often assist stranded travelers. It's a good side business." she walked into a back room, picked up a phone and pushed a button. I couldn't hear what she said.
"Is there anything I can help you with sir?" She leaned out of the back room.
"I could use some lunch." Mistake number three.
****
I woke up when I heard the tires hitting that grooved asphalt they put on the shoulder of the road. Makes a loud humming sort of sound to startle you awake, when you drift off.
Four hours later.
I don't remember leaving there. I don't know how I got back on the highway. I don't even know what I had for lunch.
I think sometimes places like that exist for real. Maybe that one was real, but I've never found it again. Others I think are something else. They steal that time from you, swallow it. Use it to keep existing, like some sort of vampire.
If you're traveling the desert, don't fucking stop.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-02-28 16:12:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a good man, Monty Brown.
I wouldn't last 10 minutes in the desert. I'd impale myself on a cactus just to escape the heat.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i enjoyed that very much.
a little bit too subtexty for my math-oriented mind, but i still enjoyed it.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-17 03:13:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This happened to me next week.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-17 00:30:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool concept and well written but much too short.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-05-16 21:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-05-16 21:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is cool.
Nicely done.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-05-16 19:09:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I honestly did not see that coming
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2005-05-16 17:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Would be a good series!!
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-05-16 17:38:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
happens all the time out here.
pwesome.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-16 16:34:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-05-16 14:51:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Welcome to the Hotel California...
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-05-16 16:06:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew this was going to be a route 66 story, I knew it I knew it I knew it
so there
did I win?
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-05-16 15:44:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This seems oddly appropriate....
- Super Chicken
When you find yourself in danger,
When you're threatened by a stranger,
When it looks like you will take a lickin', (Bok, bok bok)
There is someone waiting,
Who will hurry up and rescue you,
Just Call for Super Chicken! (Ba-GAWK!)
Fred, if you're afraid you'll have to overlook it,
Besides you knew the job was dangerous when you took it (Ba-GAWK!)
He will drink his super sauce
And throw the bad guys for a loss
And he will bring them in alive and kickin' (Bok, bok bok)
There is one thing you should learn
When there is no one else to turn to
Call for Super Chicken! (Bok, bok bok)
Call for Super Chicken! (Ba-GAWK!)
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-05-16 15:23:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Woah. Mind fuck.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2005-05-16 15:03:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-05-16 14:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoa...
Adventures in the paranormal for sure.
awesome.. didn't expect that!
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-05-16 14:53:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is in part based on real events. I was out for a drive in the desert east of san diego, and I came across this couple on the dirt bike. I did take a lefthand turn and found this resort hotel out in the middle of nowhere. It caters to the "snowbird" crowd, the oldsters who leave the northern states in their RV's and head south into new mexico and arizona for the winter.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-05-16 14:51:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Welcome to the Hotel California...
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2005-05-16 14:50:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would like to see this as a series.
Excellent!