My First Ubercon...of sorts. (1211 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: ETS_Nonfiction
Rating: 1.39 on 59 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (View user info) at 2005-05-17 15:02:59 EDT
This post is about the meeting of people. It's about the culmination of all the wistful uncertainty of phone calls and MSN messages into that first tangible hug. It's about what happens when the puss-filled zit that is your life is forced open by the unflenching desire to be close to someone you love.
Barely making my connection flight in Detroit, I'd realized nearly too late that this was eastern time, not the central standard time my cell phone (make-shift watch) still indicated. I'd left half a pint of beer in the airport bar in my manic rush to the gate.
The plane ride was filled with the overnight frustration of a man consumed by muted nervous resolve, eight hours of sleepless anticipation, rustling newspapers, overhead lights he only wished his neighbor would extinguish, in-flight movies that seem to have no point, and codeine pills that failed to put him to sleep. The restless mind is a bitch...and a weekend of jet-lag is its offspring.
Arriving at my destination, we, the international arrivals, herded ourselves through the abatoir that is immigration. Literally thousands of people chaotically queued to gain admittance into the country - waiting their turn to stick their heads into the cattle chute and let the almighty gate-keepers pick their brains.
Immigration Officer: What's the purpose of your visit?
Me: I'm meeting a friend... [name omitted]
Immigration Officer: How do you know this person? How did you meet?
Me: We met on the internet.
Immigration Officer: Where will you be staying with her?
Me: Yes.
Immigration Officer: Is she meeting you here in the airport?
Me: Yes.
Immigration Officer: I'm going to need to speak to her. Do you have a mobile number?
I hand the incredulous man the number and he asks me to have a seat in a quarantine area. Out of the thousands of people who've made their way to the cattle chute at the front of the line so far, I am the only person I've seen who's had to do this. It's making me concerned. People are trying not to stare at me as they are surely asking themselves what sort of criminal I must be. I whistle and cross my legs, trying to relax. The man motions for me to come back over.
Immigration Officer: I tried to call [name omitted] and she's not answering her phone and she's not in the airport. When is the last time you spoke to her?
Me: Right before I left yesterday.
At this point, my mind is frantic as I roll all the possibilities over in my head as to why she didn't answer the phone. Was she here? Was she ok? Fuck, was she even real? Had this all been some sick joke to get me back for some past transgression? 'No,' I thought, 'she's real. I've spoken to her on the phone.'
Me: I don't know why she wouldn't answer her phone unless she was on another call. We were supposed to meet in Costa Coffee.
Immigration Officer: Let me try one more time to contact [name omitted]... Go have another seat over there and I'll get back to you in a moment...
-----------------
Sometimes in life we find ourselves the helpless victims of the current - that ceaseless river of events that just pushes us along according to its own will. I was now a captive of this current. Whatever happened at this point, I knew all I could do was resign myself to my fate, however ugly.
I sank into my pre-warmed seat and stared blankly at the cold tile on the floor - half of me wishing she would answer and the other half wondering what was to become of me if she didn't. Just then, the immigration officer motioned me over again, informed me that she did answer the phone, she was in the airport, and I was free to go through.
Relief washed over my face trying to pull my lips into a smile. I did my best to restrain myself so as not to seem like a weirdo, so instead I collected my bag off the floor and moved off toward the escalators. My anxiety over the immigration fiasco is now replaced with the more familiar anxiety of finally meeting this person I've grown to care so much about.
Approaching Costa Coffee, I walked along the railing, scanning the crowd, till I came upon a familiar face hunched over a book. How embarrassing would it be to get the wrong person - to accost some unwitting stranger as if they should know me? This momentary concern was quickly erased as her distinctive-colored hair reassured me this was her.
"Hey. There you are."
"Hey." We both smiled awkwardly.
After a short exchange concerning the stupidity of immigration first for stopping me, then for ever allowing me into the country, we walked to the smoking area to have a much-deserved cigarette. We were both nervous - talking nonsense. We needed to get past all this blundering. We needed to release this underlying tension. We needed to hug.
"Give me a hug, dude," she said.
So we did...clumbsily at first, but after holding on for a minute, at least for me, the tension began to melt away and I realized: "...so this is the girl on the other end of the telephone." I backed away so I could see her face again. "Hey you."
------------------
The weekend passed all too quickly. She showed me around a little - introduced me to a world that was charmingly different from mine. There was so much we both wanted to do and yet we wanted to do nothing. Just being in each other's company, just having the ability to hold each other outside the sanctuary of our daydreams was crazy enough without introducing too many other distractions too quickly, so we stayed in most of the time sipping tea and watching television programming that was as new and novel to me as it was tired and old to her.
There were a couple people who are very important in her life that I did have the pleasure of meeting: her mother and best friend. Her mother was a strange one, very set in her ways, very prudish, but it's not as if she didn't warn me of that beforehand. She seemed to think that I made an ok impression though, which is usually the best I can hope for with most people. One thing I've learned about dealing with parents over the years is: if you try to be yourself and balance respect and manners with humor and candidness, they'll usually trust you enough to corrupt their children without them ever suspecting a thing.
Her best friend met us for drinks at a pub on Sunday afternoon. The fact that he is also her ex-boyfriend gave our meeting an understandable undercurrent of strangeness - a strangeness that was all but washed away with a few drinks and off-color jokes. Really the strangest aspect of our meeting was that it didn't seem that strange at all, if that makes any sense. We made plans to meet up again a bit later at a place called the 'Turtle' something, but unfortunately things didn't work out that way. [Name omitted] was feeling a little down, so we ended up staying in. I hoped he didn't think we were standing him up on purpose...
That night we went to sleep and dreaded the morning.
---------------
The end of my trip had come, and I was sad to go. I knew this wouldn't be the last time I'd see her, but I still found it hard to walk away after that last hug 'goodbye'. Coming home after nine hours worth of flying, I missed her instantly. I wondered if she was sleeping. I thought about calling her just to hear her voice again, but then I realized what time zone I was in and thought better of it.
User Reviews
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-10-31 16:55:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good descriptions
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-09-07 14:07:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
que?
Submitted by lessonlearned (user info) at 2005-09-03 13:35:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fku
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-09-02 01:29:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
recalc
Submitted by JHoersten2 (user info) at 2005-08-28 17:54:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
gay
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-24 23:14:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by electricfagfucksyndrome (user info) at 2005-05-24 22:40:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
Shitfuck, I can be just as violent as I can be forgiving, which you would probably out if I ever met you in person.
_______________
How many times are you gonna threaten me?
Thanks for the laughs.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-21 10:14:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-21 10:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Does she swallow?
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-21 10:00:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So was it Filthy?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-05-21 09:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Didier (user info) at 2005-05-20 17:00:43 (#)
Ranking: -2
"Sometimes in life we find ourselves the helpless victims of the current - that ceaseless river of events that just pushes us along according to its own will. I was now a captive of this current. Whatever happened at this point, I knew all I could do was resign myself to my fate, however ugly."
You were waiting for a confirmation from an immigration officer who might have questionned you further more. Though reading this, one would think you charged an enemy admist whizzing bullets and mortar fire, with your eyes closed, screaming "Freeeeeeeeeedom!"
Very dramatic.
-----------------------
Yea, it's called 'having the capacity for thought'.
Geez, I wonder who this could be...
Submitted by Didier (user info) at 2005-05-20 17:00:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Sometimes in life we find ourselves the helpless victims of the current - that ceaseless river of events that just pushes us along according to its own will. I was now a captive of this current. Whatever happened at this point, I knew all I could do was resign myself to my fate, however ugly."
You were waiting for a confirmation from an immigration officer who might have questionned you further more. Though reading this, one would think you charged an enemy admist whizzing bullets and mortar fire, with your eyes closed, screaming "Freeeeeeeeeedom!"
Very dramatic.
Submitted by DyingBreed (user info) at 2005-05-20 16:22:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"if you try to be yourself and balance respect and manners with humor and candidness, they'll usually trust you enough to corrupt their children without them ever suspecting a thing."
LOL!
looks like you had a good time. glad to hear it man. gimme a call sometime bitch
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-18 18:30:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Didn't even read it.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-05-18 15:01:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
So is there anyone on this site not shagging someone else? What is this U- date?
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-18 14:45:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Filthy? She doesn't seem like the kind of girl who goes for miserable emo faggots.
Submitted by Drone_of_Industry (user info) at 2005-05-18 13:39:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sounds like things went well!
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-05-18 03:29:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-05-18 03:03:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-17 21:39:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
They finally gave you a penis? Great!
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-05-17 21:39:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha ETS good shit and good luck dood.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-05-17 21:27:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-05-17 20:40:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
I was wondering how it went.
----------
Yea, the sex reassignment surgery went off without a hitch.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-05-17 20:40:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wooo! Woo yay.
That's awesome, dude.. I was wondering how it went.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-05-17 20:40:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Glad you and <name omitted> had fun.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-17 20:00:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-17 16:06:58 (#)
Ranking: 1
you met Ankara and you both hugged and cried emo tears for the whole week-end didnt you?
=====================
*wipes eyes*
<>?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-05-17 19:52:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The road lines are backwards. Good thing I wasn't driving anywhere, I'd have been on the sidewalk.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-05-17 19:42:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
so how did you like old blighty?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-05-17 19:37:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack.. only if it's you...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-05-17 19:32:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-05-17 19:15:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
absolutely untrue - for the moment
Sigh... someday, someday...
--
Not that I've ever done that.
That's just an example, for the sake of discussion.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-05-17 19:31:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-05-17 19:15:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
absolutely untrue - for the moment
Sigh... someday, someday...
--
Does that include people who have breathlessly watched you through a telescope?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-05-17 19:29:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-05-17 19:03:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Were you going from the USA to Canada through immigration in Pearson Itn'l?
-------------
No. It wasn't through Pearson.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-05-17 19:15:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
absolutely untrue - for the moment
Sigh... someday, someday...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:42:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
thats nice.
now DISCLOSE!
i may be the only person on ubersite who has not engaged in relations with another uberer
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-05-17 19:03:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Were you going from the USA to Canada through immigration in Pearson Itn'l? If so, I share your pain. That place is a fuckin zoo.
PS- When her prudish mother reads this she's gonna bust your balls, grimly pursing her lips every time she makes contact with those little fists.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-05-17 17:58:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did she give you a note saying "welcome to the world of AIDS?"
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-17 16:51:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-05-17 16:42:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:42:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
thats nice.
now DISCLOSE!
i may be the only person on ubersite who has not engaged in relations with another uberer
----------
nope, that would be me.
==========================
The only person I have ever had any communication with outside of posting/replies has been MJ by emails. So I win!
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-05-17 16:42:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:42:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
thats nice.
now DISCLOSE!
i may be the only person on ubersite who has not engaged in relations with another uberer
----------
nope, that would be me.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-05-17 16:33:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-17 16:12:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
I get the sense that if you ever DID appear at a Ubercon, you'd leave sporting bandages and/or stitches.
--------------
Well, I did require a tournaquet and about 3 boxes of gauze by the time the weekend was over...and I inexplicably bruised my hand. Does that count?
I know what you meant though, and you're wrong... Everyone loves me here.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-05-17 16:15:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-17 16:12:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I get the sense that if you ever DID appear at a Ubercon, you'd leave sporting bandages and/or stitches.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-17 16:06:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you met Ankara and you both hugged and cried emo tears for the whole week-end didnt you?
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-05-17 16:03:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know all too well how you feel.
Best of luck.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-05-17 16:02:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:42:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
thats nice.
now DISCLOSE!
i may be the only person on ubersite who has not engaged in relations with another uberer
---
Tim you are such a liar. We spooned in Vegas. Ass!
How quickly you forget.
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nothing better for a blooming romance than a positively-rated gushy post.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:55:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tim, you are not the only person who's never hooked up with anyone from Uber. I haven't either. Unless you count that hot three way I had with Shlongy and Jgreening, but we all agreed we would pretend it never happened, so that doesn't count.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:45:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The only person I know from here, I knew before. I can't wait for the first Uber love-child... named User20000 or something. SOMEBODY MAKE A BABY.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:42:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
thats nice.
now DISCLOSE!
i may be the only person on ubersite who has not engaged in relations with another uberer
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thats nice.
now DISCLOSE!
i may be the only person on ubersite who has not engaged in relations with another uberer
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:35:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tiger, I know of whom you speak, and I must tell you...
Michael Jackson just isn't interested.
Shamone!
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:32:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would love to host "Blind Date: uber" forget this Ibiza crap. Roger Lodge, I'm gonna ruin you!
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:31:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:07:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry that I had my phone turned off.
--------------------------------------------
There is soo much awesomeness in you.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:26:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:21:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:09:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
This place is soooo turning into a dating site.
-------------------------
I call dibs on Sphagnum
----
I've already got mine.
<shifty eyes>
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:21:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:09:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
This place is soooo turning into a dating site.
-------------------------
I call dibs on Sphagnum
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:16:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Immigration Officer: Let me try one more time to contact [name omitted]... Go have another seat over there and I'll get back to you in a moment... "
___
"ah no, I'm sorry, but Canada can't come out and play to-day, try back tomorrow, eh?"
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:16:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ETS, t his R0x0rs.
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:14:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:14:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Imitating me again adam?
Breaking -2 streaks is the oldest trick in the squattail book.
I would take your creepy emulation as a compliment, except you just can't seem to pull it off.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:13:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't care if you didn't use my name, I didn't want you telling anyone!
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Filthy Assistant, thats who it was
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:09:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This place is soooo turning into a dating site.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:07:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry that I had my phone turned off.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-17 15:06:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh come oooon. who is it? someone from here?
come ooooon.