An open letter to Africa (3262 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: LOL
Rating: 1.52 on 129 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (View user info) at 2005-05-18 10:45:48 EDT
Hey Africa
How are you doing buddy?
Look, we need to talk.
Everyday I see you in the paper, and your making some of us look really bad.
How?
How and the fuck can you not see how?
You guys are supposed to be the cradle of fucking civilization. The continent got like a few thousand year head start on most of us, but you're still living in huts made out of dried cow shit and clicking to each other about how you have no food because you live in the goddamn desert.
Oh don't even try to say you don't have any resources. Fucking hell you still have so much jungle that scientists find whole new species of pygmy elephants or Tyrannosaurs Rex on the first Wednesday of every month, after pancakes at IHOP of course. Some of the largest mines in the world are located o your continent, and you have thousands of miles of coastline. You goddamn retards live in REALLY close proximity to most of the worlds oil, but you'd rather walk around with jars on your head.
Here's a hint look up a little thing called "The Industrial Revolution". The rest of the world decided to go ahead and get that over with two hundred years ago.
We tried to help you by running South Africa, Zimbabwe and a few others for you. It was really for your best interest. It's just that we had experience with doing things other than running around with spears all day just so we could dance in some gay ass grass skirts. We built all these massive farms and gigantic mines, and turned over control right after we slaughtered thousands in a bloody civil war, but you deserved it after you let Nelson Mandela out of his cage. Fucker. Now where are you? Yea I saw you out there with 1000 emaciated children trying to plow a 10,000 hectare field with fucking sticks. I saw you mining eight mile wide open pit mines with a goddamn bucket brigade.
That reminds me. What is up with you and war? I mean you're always shooting the shit out of everyone, but you fail to escalate to any REAL kind of war. Burning villages and shooting women with a hand-me-down AK-47 isn't war. When you start firebombing entire cities at night and pit 800,000 men with tanks and bombs against each other on a day to day basis for a few years you give me a call.
And what's up with you and the AIDS? Our advanced science has allowed us to make some surprising discoveries in prevention. Here is one you might want to pass on "If someone is dying in a corner with flies around them, don't have sex with their AIDS riddled ass". Seriously. Write that one down, because it doesn't appear you people have forged the link between diseased people, and them passing it on to other people. I won't chide you again about how you're the only place in the world that has a problem with Ebola. I remember the day the Army went over there to test it and everyone was like "OMG my Fucking insides are MELTING", and I thought you would have known to stay away from white men with needles. Your lucky I wouldn't let Tony Blair release the black plague on you last Wednesday. He wanted to celebrate something, but he just settled for giving a few homeless people a tour of the Tower of London. Man I tell you what, Tony is like a kid in a candy shop when you put him around 16th century implements of torture.
I would like to thank you for selling us all those slaves a while back. Here in America they really got us started off on the right foot. I have to tell you though, now that they're free, they're really getting on my last nerve. Have you heard this shit they're talking? The little cocksuckers even tried to get us to teach Ebonics in school a while back. I've got lots of these assholes pretending to be proud of their African heritage, but the sad truth is most of them couldn't find your continent on a map, let alone name a country.
And please for the love of got, get some cooler country names. Mozambique? Zimbabwe? Botswana? Niger? Nigger please! They're pretty weak.
Well it's been nice chatting with you Africa, I hope you pull you millions of people into an age of what we might call "civilization", or as you say "click click clickety click pop". I know you know what that is, because Egypt used to be the shit, but you fucked that one up too.
PS: I hear Disney is in the midst of plans to have a bunch of moon robots come down and commit some old fashion genocide on you. Why? Because it's easier to explain to all the kids why no more black people are left rather than why all the main characters in a dozen of their movies we're all turned into hamburgers.
User Reviews
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-09-12 01:27:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-09-12 01:23:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man, this is some good stuff.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-09-12 00:59:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DasHeer...it may sound silly but it boils down to one simple thing: air-conditioning
Submitted by DasHeer (user info) at 2007-09-12 00:31:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-18 10:58:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i got a quality chuckle or two out of that. i wish it were longer.
what IS the deal w ith africa, seriously?
i've heard that all the continents that are oriented north-south suck because agriculture can't spread that way. thinka bout it...south america...africa...they all suck and have sucked forever (save the mayans, incas, aztecs, etc). while sweet continents such as europe, and asia are sweet and have sweet history (chinese empires, roman empires, native americans (do they even fit in here? i don't know ) ).
englighten me.
_________________________
The reason why north America flourished VS. South American decay, can be explained by the fact that the Spanish Raped South America of it's resources, slaughtered the native peoples and kept technology in their colonies very low to keep the risk of revolt down while horribly repressing the natives, North America by comparison was colonized and given every amenity to help the American British develop into a self sufficient and prosperous colony. Africa was not helped by the europeans in any way shape or form, the british colonials oppressed the people, raped the resources, and kept the africans in a perpetual state of poverty/slavery while inflicting horrific mutilations on any natives charismatic enough to ask for independance or a lightening of their workload
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2007-09-12 00:27:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HOW THE FUCK DID I NOT SEE THIS 2 YEARS AGO?
AND HOW WAS THIS NOT ON B@W!
FUCKING ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-11 23:55:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Renzo (user info) at 2006-07-23 21:13:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A shame that this written with a racist heart and mind and abviously no knowledge or undertandin of the history of man. Take the time to reserch and study that and you'll learn EXACTLY why Africa is in the shape it's in AND why certain nations are willing to do "just enough to help" and while other countries simply refuse to do anything to improve the situation or are willing to encourage or support the factions living on the continent who want to keep Africa from advancing or resolving its issues.
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2006-07-23 20:25:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Africa SUCKS!
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-07-23 19:09:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lest we forget
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-21 10:41:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In case I forgot.
Submitted by StanleyBostitch (user info) at 2006-05-10 15:13:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"If someone is dying in a corner with flies around them, don't have sex with their AIDS riddled ass".
+2!!
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-05-10 14:31:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
skinny people with aids. ha.
clickity clack click click.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-05-10 14:31:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-02-02 09:12:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Doing my duty to +2 this post at least once every 2 months
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-05-04 14:07:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Har! Har!
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-02 09:34:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FUNNY STUFF
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-02-02 09:31:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
sure.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-02-02 09:12:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Doing my duty to +2 this post at least once every 2 months
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-05 10:59:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
See, here is the second one.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-05 10:59:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking hilarious. You get two +2's from me.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-12-05 10:36:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
great post.
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-07-08 13:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
rock it like a masochist
Submitted by taurusfh (user info) at 2005-06-28 12:56:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Kamargo (user info) at 2005-06-10 01:34:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2005-05-23 16:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was in poor taste. You have potential, try to pick something better to write about next time.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-23 08:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by maximus3000 (user info) at 2005-05-19 12:06:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
hhhmmm........Seeing as I live in South Africa.........hold on......this is fucking funny, I mean Civil War, AIDS, Ignorance, Poverty, what could possibly be more funny than other peoples pain and suffering. You'd think that having CNN in every hut in Africa would have taught them a thing or two, they speak english right so whats the problem??
Ignorant fucker
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Well holy fuck, I thought I was alone here. Are you really from SA?
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-23 08:10:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-05-22 13:58:14 (#)
Ranking: 1
Why aren't Rwanda, Burundi, Swaziland, and Malawi colo(u)red? Just wanted to know.
=================
Too lazy to zoom in and color them with the paint bucket. We'll pretend they're all just lakes
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-05-22 17:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-05-22 13:58:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Why aren't Rwanda, Burundi, Swaziland, and Malawi colo(u)red? Just wanted to know.
Submitted by MyIdiom (user info) at 2005-05-22 11:36:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And please for the love of got, get some cooler country names. Mozambique? Zimbabwe? Botswana? Niger? Nigger please! ... or as you say "click click clickety click pop".
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2005-05-22 08:49:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my Christ this is funny as hell.
Submitted by mxc_jwebber (user info) at 2005-05-22 02:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"The Part I Colored Blue"
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-05-22 02:29:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:09:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
p.s. Ethiopian food is horrible. You must eat with your hands and use small bits of that small spongy crepe (http://www.iaej.co.il/graphics/injera.jpg) to grab the food and its textures feels like an cold dead old woman. If you have a good imagination, avoid.
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i must take issue with this!
ethiopian food is fuckig superb. the spices are unique.
Submitted by Dash (user info) at 2005-05-21 19:17:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2005-05-21 19:03:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now THIS is some funny shit.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-05-21 04:41:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice
Submitted by Jimmy_Esquire (user info) at 2005-05-21 04:12:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hasnt everywhere that got a headstart in civilisation turned to shit?
People with clipboards keep trying to take my money to Africa :(
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-05-21 04:08:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was entertained +2 style.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-05-21 03:58:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-05-20 21:57:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It is very encouraging to see that some people still recognize good humour.
It looks like there was less than a handfull of idiots below this line.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-20 19:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There is still a lot of superstitious and generally anti-scientific thought in Africa. Or rather a simple and widespread lack of education.
For instance in some villages there is a tradition that the village head, or elder or whatever, gets to sleep with every new bride. Often the big chief is HIV-positive. It doesn't take a genius to see what happens next.
Another good one. The belief that sex with a virgin can cure AIDS. Whoever started that has a serious debt to pay to humanity. Of course, the guy is most likely dead.
And yes, I did realise this was a humourous post. All the jokes were a big clue.
Submitted by ThineJericho (user info) at 2005-05-20 19:02:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Don't really like you, but a decent post.
Submitted by Didier (user info) at 2005-05-20 17:49:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This is the 2nd post I read from you. Your humor is very cliché.
The more I read, the more it staled.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2005-05-20 15:25:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If Africans were smart they'd eat all them damned flies that circle their heads all day. They'd never be hungry again.
Like there'd ever be a fly shortage around brown people.
(I'm so going to hell)
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-20 09:12:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-20 08:54:36 (#)
Ranking: -2
If it wasn't for your replies I would have taken this in jest.
==============
It was in jest retard. I just get sick of the moral highgrounders sometimes.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-20 08:54:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If it wasn't for your replies I would have taken this in jest.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-20 07:26:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you mean the american "i get billions of taxfree casino dollars every month from the stupid amiercan people" indians?
that is their reparations.
Submitted by Rasta (user info) at 2005-05-20 04:10:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Anyone who wants reparations or ebonics as a language can live in Africa. Yeah that is the ticket.
Stop with the racist crap. In America's past there has been abuse of many groups.
Lets see, chinese, irish, black, American Indian, you name it.
This is in the past and other countries did the same damn thing!
This does not make it right. But how do you sort the victims from the innocent? Not to mention in the case of slavery when their own countrymen were doing the selling and it wasn't just to the U.S.
How come only in the US is their an outcry to get paid for something that happened to my great grandfather?
All these other groups have joined in the society of the United states and not asked to be paid for offenses that happened 100 years ago. Guess which one hasn't. Don't ask me why. They were misled by their leaders.
Can't we all just get along?
If any group has a right to complain its the American Indian.
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-05-20 03:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking awesome
Submitted by absolutzero (user info) at 2005-05-20 01:38:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Worth Reading.
But then, Think of this. The whole world shows them on T.V running around nude.
We need people who can go and help them. Not just Christian Missionaries who
go around converting them to Christians.
Herez a funny story. One of the missinaries allegedly went around professing that
if people went the Church way, they would grow richer and would have better chances of Globe
Trotting. Having converted for 3 years, people started demanding their much awaited Globe Trip.
They were told "hang on! you guys Don't have an airport yet "
Way to go Africa. You are so fucked up becuase everyone like to fuck you and
everytime you give in.
To adam: This post was good. Only if you contributed in some humble way to get these guys rid
of the plight.
Cheers !!
Submitted by Scatherm (user info) at 2005-05-19 22:47:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus FUCKING TWO.
Submitted by UncleMeat (user info) at 2005-05-19 16:59:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
rock on. here's what i think of Africa
http://www.ubersite.com/m/66588
p.s. toto rules
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-05-19 14:00:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah yes, final gripe. The Cradle of Civilisation is in what is now called Iraq, centered up on the Tigres and Euphrates rivers.
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-05-19 13:57:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, you would have got a better rating from me if you did something funny with Somalia.
Now THAT place is seriously fucked up.
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-05-19 13:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Racist.
Submitted by maximus3000 (user info) at 2005-05-19 12:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hhhmmm........Seeing as I live in South Africa.........hold on......this is fucking funny, I mean Civil War, AIDS, Ignorance, Poverty, what could possibly be more funny than other peoples pain and suffering. You'd think that having CNN in every hut in Africa would have taught them a thing or two, they speak english right so whats the problem??
Ignorant fucker.
Submitted by thinning_temples (user info) at 2005-05-19 12:02:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You know, it there ever is a nuclear war, those skinny, naked Africans will be the only ones to survive. Your average American would last about five seconds. I look forward to the day when their spears are rammed firmly up your ass.
Submitted by notoriousbrett (user info) at 2005-05-19 11:31:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-05-19 05:24:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sometimes man ,i just gotta think you are are so far up your fucking self,maybe you should just take a litle bitty look at your own dung hill before you condem others that are not so fortunate,you reckon you yanks have got it all to gether ,But you blokes still cant get your act to gether with your grandious raceist problem.
----------------------------
As an American, I think we do look down upon other nations and their problems because we maintain some sort of elitist air to ourselves. The United States isn't as high and mighty as it once was, and I think maybe many of us have refused to acknowledge this.
We do have many problems still regarding race and immigration attitudes in our country and not much is being done about it. I also think when we are criticized, we tend to get very defensive and not address the problems.
That said, we've also helped out numerous countries in the world with aid and supplies. So we really don't owe the rest of the world a god damn thing. Especially a bunch of Fosters drinking kangaroos :-)
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-19 11:11:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just realized this was on most heated.
GO HEAT WOOOOOOO
NO REALLY LIKE THE MIAMI HEAT!
PISTONS R GOIN DOWN
Submitted by Huber_the_Nose (user info) at 2005-05-19 11:04:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hehe....its funny and true
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2005-05-19 08:39:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fine job you racist SOB
I'll be sure to forward this to the NCAA
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-19 08:27:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-05-19 05:24:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sometimes man ,i just gotta think you are are so far up your fucking self,maybe you should just take a litle bitty look at your own dung hill before you condem others that are not so fortunate,you reckon you yanks have got it all to gether ,But you blokes still cant get your act to gether with your grandious raceist problem.
====================================
Did you aussies finally kill the last of the Aborigines yet. I mean leaving a few of them alive means all the other bad things didn't really happen.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2005-05-19 07:51:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I nearly inhaled an entire piece of KFC popcorn chicken, 'click clickety click pop'
Fucking hell that's one of the funniest thing I've seen on here in months.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-05-19 05:24:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sometimes man ,i just gotta think you are are so far up your fucking self,maybe you should just take a litle bitty look at your own dung hill before you condem others that are not so fortunate,you reckon you yanks have got it all to gether ,But you blokes still cant get your act to gether with your grandious raceist problem.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-05-19 04:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sadly what he says is the TRUTH. Africa is a fuckin' mess.
Submitted by Nobb (user info) at 2005-05-19 04:36:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Call me a killjoy, but I gotta say it's in bad taste, it's like making a joke about 9/11 while it was happening.
Submitted by notoriousbrett (user info) at 2005-05-19 00:37:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should have said something like
"GIVE US BACK DAVE CHAPPELLE"
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-05-18 23:11:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
read halfway through, nothing really caught my attention so leaving it at a nice safe 0
Submitted by dreadnaught_X (user info) at 2005-05-18 23:00:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Q: Have you ever had ethiopian food?
(No)
A: Neither have they.
Submitted by 2x4fun (user info) at 2005-05-18 21:21:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what about madagascar?ands btw good stuff
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-05-18 21:13:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew Egypt was a fucking yellow state.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-18 21:09:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-18 19:50:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GO PISTONS WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-18 18:27:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mynameistim - we'll never know who's smarter because english is my second language so it'd be unfair to compare.
(That cop out can come in handy :-))
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-05-18 17:26:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's how IN the fuck. Not how AND the fuck.
Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2005-05-18 17:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-18 14:52:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
oh, it's a joke :-(
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I also thought it was real :-(
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-05-18 15:41:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Quality
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-05-18 15:37:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-18 15:28:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:44:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Did mush make a ponit or did he just cry a lot?
-----------
i believe what he was saying is that "the way you make your points makes you out to be a dick."
or that "only a huge douchebag would make points the way you do"
or that he's smarter than you.
try to argue that one, i dare you.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-18 14:52:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh, it's a joke :-(
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-18 14:35:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehe
No problem Caul, I love it when the BBC gets hacked.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-18 14:19:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-18 13:37:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.newturfers.com/mwf/attach/38/355838/BBCNEWSWorldLionMutilates42MidgetsinCambodianRing-Fight.
---
I sent this to all my co-workers. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-18 14:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-18 13:37:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.newturfers.com/mwf/attach/38/355838/BBCNEWSWorldLionMutilates42MidgetsinCambodianRing-Fight.htm
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HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHH
This is the funniest fucking thing ever!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-18 13:47:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well, this did crack me up.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-18 13:37:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.newturfers.com/mwf/attach/38/355838/BBCNEWSWorldLionMutilates42MidgetsinCambodianRing-Fight.htm
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2005-05-18 13:23:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'And what's up with you and the AIDS? Our advanced science has allowed us to make some surprising discoveries in prevention. Here is one you might want to pass on "If someone is dying in a corner with flies around them, don't have sex with their AIDS riddled ass".'
I read about a "method" that many young people are using to combat the spread of AIDS. Most understand that fluids transfer the AIDS virus so they believe that "dry sex" will alleviate the problem of AIDS. To have "dry sex" young women are encouraged to put talcum powder, comet powder cleaner, and other caustic powders into their vaginas.
Just thinking about that made me dry up.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-18 13:22:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Africa is filled with arabs and blacks that speak french.
The three combined could turn the Garden of Eden heaven into a war riddled desert.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-18 13:21:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.spelt.com/origins.html
To anyone interested in this whole North-South thing or Germs Guns and Steel book, go to the above link. It's a short essay explaining why agriculture suceeded so rapidly in some places, and not in others.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-18 13:08:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:16:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:11:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
caul- it was read in Guns, Germs and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies.
its still on the best seller list in the science category on amazon.
my old roommate read it, and told me about it.
-----------------
Correct. Using his example of corn: corn was first grown is Mexico, which is very narrow in a lfet-right sense, so there was a very small amount of land for it to grow on, unlike wheat, which had favorable growing conditions all across Europe and Asia. Corn had to slowly adapt to colder northern reigons, while wheat already had plenty of land and there was not a space problem.
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Wheat was originally cultivated in the "Fertile Crescent" (The area between the Tigis and Euphrates) some 10,000 years ago by a chance hybridization. So Africa has had access to it for a while. Also I don't see the correlation between Mexico and Africa. Africa is still VERY wide even at it most narrow point, and more than enough to negate the above theory, but I can see easily how the spread of corn might have been stifled due to immense geographic restrictions.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-05-18 13:03:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmmm. I hate not seeing the funny side. This is well written, and I like the writer usually, but I hate what he did here.
"worth reading".
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-05-18 13:01:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Keep posting crap like this, not that serious shit.
I remember when I hated you and thought you were a total douchenozzle. Now I want to fuck you in every hole.
Submitted by vodka7tall (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:47:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nuff said.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did mush make a ponit or did he just cry a lot?
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:30:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GHEYAIDS
nice post
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:27:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent.
The map made me chortle.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All modern humans are decended from Cro-Magnon man, Caulain.
Submitted by mush (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:26:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now on a more serious note. I am not fucking around when I say that I would have given this article a +3 had it been possible. Seriously. Ubersite should give each user the right to assign a +3 once in their life. If they ever do that, I will come back and +3 this post.
Wow.
As far as.... what the hell is your name... Caul-something? Dont ever talk (type, whatever... dont argue semantics online you worthless whore) to my roommate Timmy like that again or I will make your mother cry.
Egypt? Carthage? Who the fuck are you?
I am so mad right now.
Seriously, Caul-something, it's in your best interest to never rate a post again. You know what, dont even bother reading ubersite anymore. I'll find out if you do. God damn you suck.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:24:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha...well said
Submitted by mush (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:22:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:53:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hobbs (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:02:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-05-18 10:49:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope you pull you millions of people into an age of what we might call "civilization", or as you say "click click clickety click pop".""""
i gotta admit that made me laugh my tits off.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:19:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:58:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
The Romans kicked the Carthaginian's asses, destroyed thier capital, and salted the ground around it so nothing would grow there again. A great civilization? The only person who was good at anything was Hannibal (no, not from Silence of the Lambs) and he couldn't beat the Romans for 15 years. LAME.
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True BUT some think the Cro-magnon men who came from africa destroy the entire Neanderthals race! I think that's pretty badass. But then again, the Neanderthals were mostly based in France so maybe they surrendered and were taken to in mamoth flatus gas chambers.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:16:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:11:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
caul- it was read in Guns, Germs and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies.
its still on the best seller list in the science category on amazon.
my old roommate read it, and told me about it.
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Correct. Using his example of corn: corn was first grown is Mexico, which is very narrow in a lfet-right sense, so there was a very small amount of land for it to grow on, unlike wheat, which had favorable growing conditions all across Europe and Asia. Corn had to slowly adapt to colder northern reigons, while wheat already had plenty of land and there was not a space problem.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:14:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:11:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
caul- it was read in Guns, Germs and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies.
its still on the best seller list in the science category on amazon.
my old roommate read it, and told me about it.
---
Maybe I'll look it up. I'm curious about the facts behind that norht/south theory.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:14:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love mexicans!
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:11:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
caul- it was read in Guns, Germs and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies.
its still on the best seller list in the science category on amazon.
my old roommate read it, and told me about it.
Submitted by canadia (user info) at 2005-05-18 12:07:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I saw an Ethiopina restaurant by my house and wondered "What do they serve there? Dirt?"
But seriously, I may not be funny, but this was funny.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:58:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Romans kicked the Carthaginian's asses, destroyed thier capital, and salted the ground around it so nothing would grow there again. A great civilization? The only person who was good at anything was Hannibal (no, not from Silence of the Lambs) and he couldn't beat the Romans for 15 years. LAME.
Submitted by manicvelocity (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:55:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bahahahahaha!!!
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:53:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MyNameisTim - ever heard of Egypt? 3000 years empire. Or what about Carthage? Africa has just been fucked over by us for centuries. Some people say it will be a huge market in 50 years or so, they have ridiculous amounts of ressources. That's of course, if they ever bring stability. For that to begin to happen the west, especially the french, could stop fucking with them.
The aztecs and incas and such weren't backward, they were just pacific. Saying South America isn't fertile is kinda of dumb if you look only at Brazil.
------------------------
you do make a good point...i have heard of egypt, and you are correct, they did have a sweet empire. never heard of carthage, but i'll go ahead and assume they had a sweet empire too. i wish i remember where i read the whole shape-of-the-continent thing...
if everyone would stop fucking with t hem, they may become a sweet continent someday. 50 years is a pretty short time though...maybe a 100 or 2...
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:53:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hobbs (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:02:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-05-18 10:49:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope you pull you millions of people into an age of what we might call "civilization", or as you say "click click clickety click pop".""""
i gotta admit that made me laugh my tits off.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:34:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"If someone is dying in a corner with flies around them, don't have sex with their AIDS riddled ass"
You gotta admit, its pretty god damn tempting though
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:28:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If only they would let America annex them...
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I have too many friends from SA & Zimbabwe that have put me in the know a bit TOO well. And have travelled from SA through Botswana up to Lagos & Ghana. Not so much offended but think a bit ill informed. There's other places too in bad situations..
But - on the other lighthearted hand - well written and bloody funny.
Submitted by Morlock (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:24:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BRILLIANT!
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:24:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fair enough.
I was trying not to sound whingy, but it didn't work. I just had a burst of patriotism.
Meh, I'll go now, but good point about it being about people.
And Spook, I'm allowed to travel. The recent revolutionary government told me I could.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:19:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:15:29 (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually fuck that. I'll comment. Adam, you're a funny guy, and I usually love your stuff, but this post, although written in a lighthearted vein, is fucking unfair and very very uninformed.
Yes, there are plenty of fucked up things going on on this continent, but if oyu look at countries in Europe, Asia, North and South America you'll find a shitload of propblems including genocide, famine and war rampant in alomost all of them, be it current or in their recent hitsory.
Look now, you've even gone and upset my spelling.
===================
There are no such problems here in the US. We live in a utopian society. The government loves us and cares for us. I am happy to live a contolled peaceful life.
Seriously?
The problem is PEOPLE. We all suck, no matter where you go.
Ease up, your beginning to act like ETS.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:17:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Seems like mr. phuzzy should just move to England and cry to them.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:15:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually fuck that. I'll comment. Adam, you're a funny guy, and I usually love your stuff, but this post, although written in a lighthearted vein, is fucking unfair and very very uninformed.
Yes, there are plenty of fucked up things going on on this continent, but if oyu look at countries in Europe, Asia, North and South America you'll find a shitload of propblems including genocide, famine and war rampant in alomost all of them, be it current or in their recent hitsory.
Look now, you've even gone and upset my spelling.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:11:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
...
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:09:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
p.s. Ethiopian food is horrible. You must eat with your hands and use small bits of that small spongy crepe (http://www.iaej.co.il/graphics/injera.jpg) to grab the food and its textures feels like an cold dead old woman. If you have a good imagination, avoid.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:09:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:07:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:05:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MyNameisTim - ever heard of Egypt? 3000 years empire. Or what about Carthage? Africa has just been fucked over by us for centuries. Some people say it will be a huge market in 50 years or so, they have ridiculous amounts of ressources. That's of course, if they ever bring stability. For that to begin to happen the west, especially the french, could stop fucking with them.
The aztecs and incas and such weren't backward, they were just pacific. Saying South America isn't fertile is kinda of dumb if you look only at Brazil.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:04:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lazy spooks all over the world.
Submitted by hobbs (user info) at 2005-05-18 11:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-05-18 10:49:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope you pull you millions of people into an age of what we might call "civilization", or as you say "click click clickety click pop".""""
i gotta admit that made me laugh my tits off.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-18 10:58:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i got a quality chuckle or two out of that. i wish it were longer.
what IS the deal w ith africa, seriously?
i've heard that all the continents that are oriented north-south suck because agriculture can't spread that way. thinka bout it...south america...africa...they all suck and have sucked forever (save the mayans, incas, aztecs, etc). while sweet continents such as europe, and asia are sweet and have sweet history (chinese empires, roman empires, native americans (do they even fit in here? i don't know ) ).
englighten me.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-05-18 10:58:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is going to upset epople.
Great job!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-18 10:58:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gabonese people are fucking cool though. Many are rich and very highly educated.
I don't think we can say the same about their neighbors though. Go Bunia!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-18 10:55:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so stupid I laughed
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-05-18 10:50:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WE ARE THE WORRRRRRLD....
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-05-18 10:49:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope you pull you millions of people into an age of what we might call "civilization", or as you say "click click clickety click pop".""""
i gotta admit that made me laugh my tits off.