Atheism (NSFW) (1057 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.57 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by James Smith <JamesSmithEsq.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-05-19 14:30:34 EDT
If, like me, you have to get on the bus with "retard" fuelled schoolkids you've probably been getting that killing spree urge we so often see in America. It's rather unfortunate that in America the shooters are the retarded ones but hey, this is not what this post is about.
I was riding the bus home from college Tuesday afternoon when we pulled up to the stop where the children usually jump on at. I looked through the rather large bus windows and grinned a grin which reached all the way round to the back of my neck. No kids. I'd hit the jackpot. No screechers to annoy me on my journey home where there was a cute 19 year old and a bottle of baby oil waiting for me.
The baby oil turned to BBQ sauce and that cute 19 year old became the old woman I once lived next door to with the cats and swollen ankles. There were kids. They were just too short to see from where I was sitting.
I searched my bag for my CD player and oversized headphones. It was hopeless. I'd forgotten my CD player at work and I'd just finished reading 'Incompetence' by Rob Grant, so I had nothing to entertain myself with... until THEY started speaking.
I couldnt make out most of the conversation but I think it revolved around their friend Fifty mashing up two packs of scoobies.
Anyway, eventually religion came up. I was somewhat impressed. Children talking about a subject relevant to the larger picture. Surely not.
This conversation piece lasted all of 20 seconds before it was terminated by howling laughter.
Stupid1: "Nah, im an afist innit."
Stupid2: "wotz dat?"
Stupid1: "Itz were u don beleeve in nuffin innit."
Stupid4: "I fought it woz wen u had an outtie belly button... innit."
James: Howling laughter
The End.
Fuck you. It was funny at the time.
User Reviews
Submitted by Jimmy_Esquire (user info) at 2005-05-22 09:14:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-05-21 11:44:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
what happened to stupid3?
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She came to my house and we took pictures of her being an Atheist.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-05-21 11:44:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what happened to stupid3?
Submitted by Jimmy_Esquire (user info) at 2005-05-20 05:22:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-20 04:29:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
don't you have to actually pass your bar exam before you are James Smith Esq.?
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I'd probably have to study law too.
All i know about the law is i broke it once and the security guard was a little too friendly.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-20 04:29:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
don't you have to actually pass your bar exam before you are James Smith Esq.?
Submitted by Jimmy_Esquire (user info) at 2005-05-20 04:15:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2005-05-19 16:42:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
I, too, am forced to ride the torture device quiantly referred to as the school bus.
Now, I'm not a violent person at all, but these kids make me want to go GTA on their bad english speaking, horrible music listening, "I'm too stupid to think there might be anyone on this bus who doesn't want to hear my inane conversation, so I'll be as loud as I want" asses and torch the lot of them.
Seriously, though, I'm not violent. I swear.
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whoever came up with the idea of mobile phones that could play music without having earpieces should have something incredibly cruel done to them.
Just the other day i was in my local co-op when a girl of about 13, complete with croydon facelift, came in "singing" to something trying to buy a pack of fags.
And as if the mobile phones playing without earpieces wasnt bad enough there's a device for your ipod that lets you do just that. Goddamned ipodders. Go to hell!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-05-19 20:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, ye Gods!
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2005-05-19 16:42:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I, too, am forced to ride the torture device quiantly referred to as the school bus.
Now, I'm not a violent person at all, but these kids make me want to go GTA on their bad english speaking, horrible music listening, "I'm too stupid to think there might be anyone on this bus who doesn't want to hear my inane conversation, so I'll be as loud as I want" asses and torch the lot of them.
Seriously, though, I'm not violent. I swear.
Submitted by Sofa_Ace (user info) at 2005-05-19 16:26:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cpeachok (user info) at 2005-05-19 16:19:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
hmm i wonder if you could fuck her there....
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if the price is right.
Submitted by cpeachok (user info) at 2005-05-19 16:19:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hmm i wonder if you could fuck her there....
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-05-19 14:33:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, cruel fate. Why do you mock me?
-- Homer Simpson
Bart the Daredevil