Jennifer Wilbank's Stream-of-Thought - pt.1 (657 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.05 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by bulldog (View user info) at 2005-05-19 23:01:21 EDT
Jennifer Wilbank's stream of thought...
Morning Commute, Tuesday, April 26, 2005
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OHMYGOD!! What am I DOING!?!? WHAT AM I DOING!!!! I mean, yea, he IS a great guy....At least he has a job unlike Brett...god HE was cute...But John is just...he's a little fatter than I woulda thought I coulda landed.....What's gonna happen when we turn 45?? And now I am 32.....Where did I go wrong? FUCK! Why was I such a bitch in college and dump Jeremy like that?!?! FUCK!! FUCK!! FUCK!!!
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Mid-Morning
I don't know if this is "right"...thought this was supposed to be fun...it's more like funny, like ridiculous....all these fucking schedules, lists and dresses and tuxes - 14 sets!! Why?!?!....<cell phone rings> Oh Good God - here he is calling me AGAIN!!! GOOD GOD!!!
"Hello? Yea, Hon', I am just really, really, really, stressed out right now."
"No, not at you, um, it's just my, um, well, it's my work. I am just tired of dealing with these dickheads!! They ALL KNOW I am getting married in 4 days!! Such little pathetic people - this is gonna be the biggest wedding that Duluth has seen on about 30 years!!"
"Yea, I love you too, Wookie-Bunny. (kiss-kiss)."
"All right, I feel SOOOO much better that you called. See'ya after my jog, OK? Love you too."
Fuck. Fat Fuck.
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Afternoon
God, I think I'm gonna puke!! These little peons keep acting like I DON"T KNOW I AM GETTING MARRIED SATURDAY!!! Uuuggh!! And that old bitch MaryLou - - I swear if she comes by ONE MORE TIME humming that fucking wedding march shit again, I'm gonna poke her eye out with a letter opener and whack her with a slice of that stale shit Agnes calls mush. What is that shit anyhow - they can't even make it right. God, I hate everything and everyone right now. <cell phone rings>
FUCK!! Now it's the Fat Boy's momma. What IS that damn perfume she wears?? Poop and Snuggles is what it smells like. I swear, one day I'll get my kids back from them babysitting after a weekend with Tubby-Hubby, and I'll have to soak them for 6 hours, basting in something bought somewhere other than Wal-Mart.
(Sappily and overtly sweet)
"Hello? Oh Hi mom - doesn't that sound funny? (ha!ha!) No, everything is fine, John called this morning and I was just stressed about work. I am t-r-y-i-n-g to get some of these people to understand that they'll have to do their own work for themselves the next two weeks while I'm out on my honeymoon. You know how that goes.... I do so much here it seems! Yea, I'm excited!!"
"Yes, I called the church yesterday morning and made sure there was plenty of toilet paper in the Men's and the Ladies restrooms. Yea, I made sure there was more in the Men's."
"Oh mom, are there really 'No Cry pills'? OK, well, I guess if you think they'll help (voice fading...). I really don't think I'll need them. Yes, we made sure the room is confirmed. Yea, and the limo too."
"Oh, you want me to call to make sure it's done? You mean baked or totally iced?"
"Yep, I can do that, no problem."
"OK, love you too! Buh-bye."
This cannot be fucking right. I am being pulled every way I could possibly be pulled. Oh shit, I am not going to cry again!! How do I stop this? I am NOT going to cry again!!!
--
Early Evening after work, jogging.
OK, I put the ring where John'll find it, tossed the hair by the office - god, when did I start shedding so much when I brush my hair!!! I can't believe I'm actually doing this......OK...Keep your pace. 2 miles to go. Money, got it. The air smells awfully fresh. Weird....I feel like I could run for another 5 hours!! OK, next block, get the overnight bag, stop in to Denny's for a quick PT&A, and on the bus away from this shit.
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At the bus depot
"Hi. I need a ticket to Albuquerque, NM. Um, I'm not sure how long I'm gonna stay, really. My grandmother has been really, really sick. I hope she can hold on 'til I get there. I guess I'll just take a One Way, and then another One Way when I come back, is that OK?"
OK, OK, no one around. God, these small, smelly pathetic urchins. How in the hell do they exist? Oh shit, here comes Mr. Fucko Spicko.
"No Habla. No Habla."
"I SAID NO HABLA, comprende dick-o!?!?"
Where is the damn bus. It was supposed to be here 4 minutes ago...
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Around midnight on the bus, somewhere in Missouri.
I think this is the stop. OK, blue NASCAR jacket, red GAP hat and jeans.... Oh! Oh! Oh my god - there he is!! Wow, he's cuter than what I thought he'd be!! He doesn't really look like what I thought though....weird. Sure is skinny....
"Hi, you're....."
"Yea. Jennifer, right? Wow, sure has been a long time, eh?"
User Reviews
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-05-22 02:43:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I want to kill you through the internet.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-05-21 19:08:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2, because you told me to fuck off over a -1.
And my shit *is* better.
YOu just need to learn to read, I would guess...
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-21 17:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Uh.
You won't last around here. -2 anyway.
Submitted by bulldog (user info) at 2005-05-21 00:28:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
TRY to be original...you d1cks are gonna end up ruining this crap Ubersite.......
ThineJericho Ranking: -2; zakalwe Ranking: -2; BillsSBChamps Ranking: -2; zakalwe Ranking: -2
BOO!!!
from "zakalwe" ?wtf? dickless cvnt? Yea.....
====
I didn't read this post. I'm just here to revenge rate because you're throwing your weight around like someone who's been here more than 5 days. noob.
Just so there are no illusions between us. At least my -2 won't be lonely.
===
So, you call your other butt fucks to -2DIE me, right? Find something other than this.
Submitted by ThineJericho (user info) at 2005-05-20 19:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-20 18:51:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
I didn't read this post. I'm just here to revenge rate because you're throwing your weight around like someone who's been here more than 5 days. noob.
Just so there are no illusions between us.
At least my -2 won't be lonely.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-05-20 19:01:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
here have another one you half-brained, retarded, asshole.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-20 18:51:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I didn't read this post. I'm just here to revenge rate because you're throwing your weight around like someone who's been here more than 5 days. noob.
Just so there are no illusions between us.
At least my -2 won't be lonely.
Submitted by bulldog (user info) at 2005-05-20 18:15:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK, what JonnyX said (thanks):
"This was actually quite good - tell all those other fucks to fuck off"
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So, FUCK OFF BigBad-2Train, jgreening, BillsSBChamps
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-20 16:02:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was actually quite good - tell all those other fucks to fuck off
Submitted by BigBad-2Train (user info) at 2005-05-20 08:02:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
WOOOO WOOOOO
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-05-19 23:49:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You want good stream of thought?
Read my Life Gone Wrong series.
Not that I'm gloating or anything...
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-05-19 23:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
FUCK YOU-from user number 2712
Submitted by Sofa_Ace (user info) at 2005-05-19 23:05:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't post twice in the same day. Don't rate yourself. Give a positive rating to anyone with a lower user I.D. than you. Give a negative rating to anyone with a higher User I.D. than you. Worship me as a God. And don't flame posts. These are some of the rules here at Ubersite. Plus two because you're going to get -2ed by everyone.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-19 23:03:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
meh, now your over doing it.