Pocks not mad, I wish I was. (2254 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.97 on 110 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Paul Hibbert (View user info) at 2005-05-20 09:01:56 EDT
I'm thinking of acquiring Tourette's syndrome to excuse some of my recent anger management issues and above all to alleviate boredom without the necessity of constant masturbation, and I think I've finally stumbled across the perfect excuse to tell people what I really think of them.
For example, there's this admin type guy that gets paid just the same as I do, but thinks he outranks me because he's not on the phones. I wish I could tell you his name because that alone would help you understand what a smug twat he, and evidently his parents truly are. Let's at least give you his first name which is 'Will', and we'll just say his surname wouldn't be out of place in a gay remake of Robin Hood where Sherwood Forest occupants eat each other dicks instead of rob from the rich.
He wonders round the office touching girls inappropriately in that half flirt-half rape way that the ugly slag's of the office find so terribly stimulating.
You can usually track him down by the trail of drool left behind; Perambulation and the ability to hold his gob shut at the same time seems an exercise in futility for the slack jawed imbecile.
Those sideburns, those stupid, god-awful, incorrectly shaped, wispy, blonde-come-ginger faggot fucking sideburns.
It would be nice to be able to say "Hey you, ya smug fucking cunt, how would you like me to beat those stupid sideburns off yer face with a shovel".
I believe Tourette's is my only salvation; does anyone know where I could catch it?
Anyone see the documentary "Johns not mad"? It was brilliant. Every now and then this perfectly ordinary guy would scream something to the effect of- "cunt flaps fanny-fucker" at the top of his lungs and guess where he worked? ... A frigging youth centre! Some of these kids were about 7 years old and really really scared. Can you imagine people tolerating your foul fucking mouth because you have a brain disease that makes you swear? I want that excuse. I can think of several little shits that hang around the newsagents who need that kind of abuse.
It didn't just end with swearing though, oh no; picture this he's in his mates car on the way to the pub and he says "uh oh" as if he's about to fart or something before whacking the rear view mirror, his mate would pretend it hadn't happened to save Johns feelings and carry on talking mean while casually re-aligning the mirror. 10 seconds later John would casually whack it again.
The people who made the programme were right; John's not mad, every one around him however is stark raving bonkers for going along with it, all the while John's having the time of his fucking life swearing at kids and smacking car mirrors.
The man would suddenly yelp as if you'd just stood on his foot and that happened to be where he kept his penis. What I would give to suddenly yelp right now and get the attention of the whole office so I could scream "Bimbo slag nuts" at the dumb cunt sat at the end of my row giggling at wispy sideburns guy because he's practically sucking on her tits.
One thing that irritates me is if you give her back her original hair colour, put some more clothes on her over-exposed wiry frame, and take the clump of makeup off her stupid face then you're left with a very dull spotty girl. Will wouldn't take a second look, he'd go straight back to sucking cock.
"Hey Will, you toothless inbred toe scum, sucked any cocks lately?" I would invariably shout, "You've got a bit of sperm hanging from your chin you pussy faggot... what? ... I've got Tourette's, deal with it you cum guzzling slut".
You know the urge you get to beat the old lady to death at the supermarket checkout? You know the one, where they decide to pay with exceedingly small change? Usually when you're in a hurry? Yeah you know what I'm talking about *SMACK* ... "Get the fuck out the way you old twat!" I can see the spotty little oink at the checkout blinking silently from behind his bottle end glasses right now, "yeah? What? I've got Tourette's you insensitive ass hole".
I could claim the only way to calm the raging beast inside is through oral sex, household chores would be an impossibility because my sudden spasms would be lethal to crockery and other such items. I could drink myself into a drunken stupor every night and state that it is my way of coping with the depression that my debilitating disease has brought upon me.
I could remain the arrogant jumped up little prick I already am and so much more and not only be excused by society but rewarded for it with awkward smiles and pity.
You guys can all suck my fat monkey cock! What? ... I've got Tourette's you insensitive bastards!
User Reviews
Submitted by Mike-Mc (user info) at 2007-05-24 09:57:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-24 15:43:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-05-24 11:07:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just thought I'd say hi, since everyone seems to think I've dropped off the face of the planet.
HI!
____
Stin, you've been floating about on a ship now for some time, surely there must be SOMETHING you can write about, eh?
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-05-24 14:45:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmm, I missed this.
The usual level of drivel I see.
But I just can't bring myself to -2 the "John's not Mad" documentary.
That was the best thing I ever saw on TV.
-Dave
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-05-24 13:14:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate you all!
Oh shit! Wrong post.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-05-24 12:59:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, well that's okay then pock - I'll pack my vasoline.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-24 12:49:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good lord we made most heated too! hooray for the brits pi-pi... wait a sec... what advances are you talking about Spam you big fucking ghey! All I said was I wanted your sexy ass, I didn't say anything about advances you homo
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-24 12:05:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm just glad Stin's not dead, even if the streak is.
Woo.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-05-24 11:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yay an English post!
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-05-24 11:22:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-05-24 11:07:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just thought I'd say hi, since everyone seems to think I've dropped off the face of the planet.
HI!
-
HEY!!
I'd like to second that invitation, I need somebody to ward off pock's advances.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-24 11:09:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-05-24 11:07:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just thought I'd say hi, since everyone seems to think I've dropped off the face of the planet.
HI!
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Wow, Hi! Please come back to England on Saturday and have a meal with us in Derby. That is all, thankyou.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-05-24 11:07:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just thought I'd say hi, since everyone seems to think I've dropped off the face of the planet.
HI!
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-24 11:05:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*raises hand*
Well, if you and Spam are going to be busy together, it'll be a shame to leave Jenny all on her own...
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-24 10:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-05-24 10:53:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
really?? Does Jenny know?
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No one told you we were swingers? Bring that sexy hunk of an ass over here big boy!
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-24 10:57:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-05-24 10:53:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
I have never seen that, nor the update...
Anyone know where to find it, so I cna have a good laugh?
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I got that picture off google, and that's the DVD case, so I guess you just google it. Otherwise peer2peer will probably have it somewhere. It was a massive thing on the net for ages.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-05-24 10:53:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
really?? Does Jenny know?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-05-24 10:53:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have never seen that, nor the update...
Anyone know where to find it, so I cna have a good laugh?
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-24 10:49:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-05-24 10:39:23 (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
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That's ok man, I got a couple of urges I gotta satisfy on Saturday. Make sure you sleep with one eye open.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-05-24 10:48:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww i been holdin that one in!
It still makes my personal review like 1.8, so reeelax.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-05-24 10:46:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry, I just had to satisfy that urge.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-05-24 10:39:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-24 09:42:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Adamdidit2ME! God I hate you. How dare you do it to me! man I'm funny. And Fozzy, thanks for the memory dude, I will treasure that screen-capture of me on top for all eternity.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-05-24 09:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 tourettes
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-24 09:27:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Swak. Fucking swak, bru.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-24 09:17:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
actually I think someone -2ed it a few days back
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-24 09:14:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You know how tempting you just made it go plus1 his post? It had better be good.
Leave me now to lick my wounds. away with you cruel cruel person
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-24 09:08:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It was more the fact that a handful of people reviewed it over and over again, which just hyperinflated the ratings.
Bickerstaff deserves that top spot anyway.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-24 09:04:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-24 08:50:16 (#)
Ranking: 1
While this was great, it doesn't deserve best ever with it's hyper inflated ratings
I'm an asshole, I know
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Your not fucking kidding, asshole.
I figured someone I didn't like would knock this off rather than someone I did like. You thought it was worth a plus2 you just didn't wanna see it on top. That's very sad
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-24 08:50:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
While this was great, it doesn't deserve best ever with it's hyper inflated ratings
I'm an asshole, I know
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-05-24 08:29:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SHIT!BASTARD!fuckinTWATFLAPSyagnerrrrrrWOOFfuckFLAPSWANKwoofwoofgnrrrrrrrTWAT!
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-05-24 08:23:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have this overwhelming compulsion to give this a 1, just to see the wrath of pock the yuppie.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-24 08:06:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm serious! I clicked rank, but realised I hadn't rated it, panicked, leant over and yanked out the power.
I was afraid of the Wrath of the Pock.
I'm such a tool.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-24 08:03:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shhhh!
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-05-24 07:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what? I'm gonna leave this post up here, because any best ever that has 750 hits is highly amusing.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-24 07:51:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-24 07:19:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
I nearly just fucked up this whole little show by forgetting to rate but thank god for power cables because I deftly yanked mine as hard as I could and pulled out the power cable at the same time and a catastrophe was averted so I rule the house that rocks the party but now I'm off for cocklickcuntballslunch.
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You're serious? You actually pulled the power cable out? Hahahahaha...
Right guys we made it, now shhh... I don't think anyones noticed, it could stay up for at least 10 minutes before somebody knocks it off.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-24 07:19:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I nearly just fucked up this whole little show by forgetting to rate but thank god for power cables because I deftly yanked mine as hard as I could and pulled out the power cable at the same time and a catastrophe was averted so I rule the house that rocks the party but now I'm off for cocklickcuntballslunch.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-24 07:13:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Definitely badass.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-24 07:12:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Definitely.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-24 07:12:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh huh.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-24 07:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yup.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-24 06:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Excellent now Rads got tourrette's!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-24 06:50:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
uhhhhh....
Styx!!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-24 06:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OFF!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-24 06:35:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
IT
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-24 06:35:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SKATE
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-24 06:35:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's only because steve's dad is badass.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-24 06:23:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha. Busted. I see your evil plan, and has been foiled, foiled I tell you!!!
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-24 05:55:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dammit! Steves fiftieth post has kicked this ones ass and now I'll never make best ever. ahem, ermm... not that I'm trying to achieve such a feat.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-24 04:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh, he said exposure.
what?
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-24 04:00:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I know it's not the most fair way of getting there, but this post is well written, humerous and original, it's not like I've conned my way onto B@W or anything... And in all fairness I wasn't trying to get near to best ever, I only have these huge conversations cause emailing 4-5 people at once is a little confusing, also I think some people get a rise out of watching me and Dervel berate each other.
Don;t get me wrong though it sure is a nice side effect to get good ratings and a little more exposure. It's not an easy thing to get round here.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-24 03:25:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree with Phallic. It's wrong, wrong, wrong!
Only because I haven't managed to pull it off yet.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-05-23 20:58:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now I'M not going to wreck it, merely because I'm non-confrontational. But the way you get 5 +2s then have a forty review conversation so that a mid- to decent post is suddenly squatting in Best Ever is just wrong.
Wrong wrong wrong. Stand in the corner and think about what you've done.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-23 15:17:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's ride this monster all the way to best ever.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-23 15:04:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So, why is Derby bad?
They invented a hat there, can it truly be all that bad?
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:56:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:28:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
JOH-NEE DAAAAV......I'm a NUTTA!
JEHOVAS!
Fuckin' Nescafé.
A STOOL!
PISSOFF FACKOFF!
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God yes, I'd forgotten some of those wonderful catchphrases!... "I'm a Nuttah!" was one of my particular favorites. My mates got both DVD's the one of him as a kid in the late 70's and the follow up in the 90's
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:54:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:23:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:20:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
I've got at least 10 or under not like you, you multi toed loser!
---
Yeah, 10 toes on each one of your froglike webbed feet.
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Yeah well *insert random old dear that is close to Dervels heart here* thought they were cute when she was sucking on them last night!
Zing!
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:28:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
JOH-NEE DAAAAV......I'm a NUTTA!
JEHOVAS!
Fuckin' Nescafé.
A STOOL!
PISSOFF FACKOFF!
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:20:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
I've got at least 10 or under not like you, you multi toed loser!
---
Yeah, 10 toes on each one of your froglike webbed feet.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:20:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:17:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
19th century little girl?
12 toes? Why how many toes have you got?
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I've got at least 10 or under not like you, you multi toed loser!
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:17:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
19th century little girl?
12 toes? Why how many toes have you got?
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:14:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:10:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Eurgh! I knew it, Pock Hobbert is an arborphile.
Hope you get splinters sicko.
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At least I'm not an incestous 19th century little girl that got hung above her families dead bodies because she had 12 toes. That is assuming you didn't just make that story up to be popular!
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:10:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Eurgh! I knew it, Pock Hobbert is an arborphile.
Hope you get splinters sicko.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:07:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:01:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
You wouldn't be able to keep up because running in style and comfort is a breeze with Converse retro trainers.
Plus I'd leave lots of little star prints on the floor when I run through puddles which should be more than enough to divert Pocks attention.
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I am easily distracted, I admit... I would add more to this point but there's a tree outside and it's moving in a peculiar way. Back in a minute.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:01:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You wouldn't be able to keep up because running in style and comfort is a breeze with Converse retro trainers.
Plus I'd leave lots of little star prints on the floor when I run through puddles which should be more than enough to divert Pocks attention.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 09:57:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Run from Dervel? I thought we were hunting him? Listen Lazy, stop stalling and photoshop that boys head onto a woodland creature pronto!
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-23 09:55:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucknows?
I lost my briefing sheet. I'll just go to plan R/B, which is "run like buggery."
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 09:53:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought soley said FuckFinder, I thought it was some new search engine to find a date!
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 09:48:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-23 09:32:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh bother.
He's on to us, Pock. Go to plan F, now!
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I missed the brief, what's planF again?
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-23 09:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nicely put, Soley.
:)
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-05-23 09:40:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fucky fuckety fuckinder
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-23 09:32:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh bother.
He's on to us, Pock. Go to plan F, now!
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-05-23 09:30:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Surely you don't mean..
My Converse retros?
Noooo!
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 09:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ignore him, I only want your noggin, and the reasoning behind my desire is only mildly sexual.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-23 09:24:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe it's not yer nogin we're after, Derkel..?
oh dear. I think I've said too much.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-05-23 09:14:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You and FishyGash can leave me noggin alone.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 08:11:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You lazy lazy boy, Fozzy get to work. Bring me the head of Dervel!
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-23 07:56:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, now that Circe has asome spare time after doing the Directory, I think I should get her to finish that Whirling Dancing Dervel picture...
Then again, I could just do it myself.
=P
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 07:47:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I remember that song, it was set to an eminem song wasn't it? They used the "mum you slut" line quite a lot I seem to remember.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-05-23 06:41:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There's a song somewhere with that all dude's famous swearing. F'ing hilarious.
Auto +2 for tourette John.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 06:15:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll do what I please, I don't take orders from poultry, captain paxo!
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-05-23 06:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stop +2ing your own post stoopid fucking n00b.
Have returned your mail.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 05:39:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-05-23 05:37:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Touché.
Where did you steal that from?
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shockingly it came to me just now like a dream. I think it's a keeper. You have mail.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-05-23 05:37:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Touché.
Where did you steal that from?
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 05:35:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-05-23 05:16:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, I did have to crack open the old Rogets Thesaurus.
That didn't help much so I just looked up Paul Hibbert in my Ladybird Bumper Book Of Twats, Full Colour Edition.
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You know Dervel, I love you like the brother I never had- the retarded one that mum would have kept in the closet and pretended not to hear crying
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-05-23 05:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, I did have to crack open the old Rogets Thesaurus.
That didn't help much so I just looked up Paul Hibbert in my Ladybird Bumper Book Of Twats, Full Colour Edition.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 04:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In comparison to your usual vocabulary this "You suck you sad scrawny fucking smeg infested foreskin, go choke to death on your mothers rancid vulva you cock smoking, baby molesting bucket of Ambrosia creamed shit." had aproximately 60% more big words than your usual pitiful ensemble.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-05-23 04:06:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-21 08:22:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes I have accepted my title. However I don't think it will strain Dervels creativity too much, did you see his latest insult? Catastophic to my ego. It had some big words in it. I'm waiting till he's around to appreciate it before I fire one back.
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Which insult of mine had big words in it?
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-23 03:12:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate it when things become catastophic.
Theyr're so hard to wake up in the moning.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-21 08:22:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-20 14:59:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
So Pock is now official. Are you just trying to adopt it so it's no longer an insult?
Because I think it would strain Dervel's creativity to find a new one.
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Yes I have accepted my title. However I don't think it will strain Dervels creativity too much, did you see his latest insult? Catastophic to my ego. It had some big words in it. I'm waiting till he's around to appreciate it before I fire one back.
Submitted by mysterious.adventure (user info) at 2005-05-20 20:14:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"cunt flaps fanny-fucker"
I'll have to remember that one.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-20 18:46:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't have touretts but I do throw out F-bombs every few minutes
for no real reason.
Submitted by TragicKingdom (user info) at 2005-05-20 17:50:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"The people who made the programme were right; John's not mad, every one around him however is stark raving bonkers for going along with it, all the while John's having the time of his fucking life swearing at kids and smacking car mirrors. "
LMAO!!!!!!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-20 14:59:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So Pock is now official. Are you just trying to adopt it so it's no longer an insult?
Because I think it would strain Dervel's creativity to find a new one.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-05-20 14:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want Tourettes.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-05-20 14:31:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I vented my Tourettes on the poor occupants of Cozumel this week.
Let's just say that my room-mate has learnt never to take me out into high-stress situations whilst I'm tired.
Fucking pushy Mexican bastards.
Submitted by interchange (user info) at 2005-05-20 14:15:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Next time I cum early:
"What? My penis has tourettes."
Submitted by southernmiss (user info) at 2005-05-20 11:10:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-05-20 11:01:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can sympathise Pock, I too have trouble achieving a full erection - although i'm reliably informed that my semi errect 11 inches is more than ample.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-05-20 10:59:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You suck you sad scrawny fucking smeg infested foreskin, go choke to death on your mothers rancid vulva you cock smoking, baby molesting bucket of Ambrosia creamed shit.
Yep, pretending to have tourettes is fun.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-20 10:49:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-20 10:33:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-20 10:10:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Could it be trying to cope with being an angry little man?
Could it be trying to cope with an inability to satisfy you live-in lover with a fully erect penis?
Could it be trying to cope with the fact that you live in Derby?
Could it be trying to cope with mounting cost of hair products necessary to maintain a mohawk?
The possibilities are endless, I reckon?
(Holy shit, I sound like Dervel...)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fozzy, you do indeed sound like Dervel. You make me sick!
I can maintain an erection for a good couple of minutes anyway. Just because it's not fully erect doesn't mean anything!... she says she likes it floppy, she says its cute. When I take it out she goes awwwww.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-20 10:10:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Could it be trying to cope with being an angry little man?
Could it be trying to cope with an inability to satisfy you live-in lover with a fully erect penis?
Could it be trying to cope with the fact that you live in Derby?
Could it be trying to cope with mounting cost of hair products necessary to maintain a mohawk?
The possibilities are endless, I reckon?
(Holy shit, I sound like Dervel...)
Submitted by bigbabylons (user info) at 2005-05-20 09:41:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
John's not mad was excellent, I laughted all the way through.
The bit where hes having dinner with his family was comedy gold.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-20 09:36:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am an angry little man, and it is my way of coping, though with what I'm not quite sure.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-05-20 09:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are an angry little man.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-20 09:27:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I could drink myself into a drunken stupor every night and state that it is my way of coping"
Pock, I thought drinking yourself into a stupor every night WAS your way of coping?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-05-20 09:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-20 09:15:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I need to sleep, but I skimmed this and read "I believe Tourette's is my only salvation; does anyone know where I could catch it?". So here is your +2.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-05-20 09:09:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bimbo slag nuts
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-05-20 09:07:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I broke Dervel's spell long enough to read this and think that it's hilarious.
I just wanted to tell you tha...*falls back into trance*
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-20 09:02:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Back to writing semi-humerous nonsense for a bit.