star wars episode III - movie review (557 hits)
Category: Politics -> LibertariansRating: -1 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by homeslice (View user info) at 2005-05-22 21:13:41 EDT
In my humble opinion, I would like to inform the entire interweb on my humble opinion of this movie. Which is this: that it is not a very fine movie.
Here is why I think in this way: Luke Skywalker is a douchebag. Jesus was never a jedi. And darth vader is a nifty dresser.
But I don't get this "the force" mumbo jumbo. Seems like some sort of crazy voodoo witchcraft to me. Which brings me to my next point this film lacks that which would make it interesting. This includes comedic value, dramatic intrigue, romantic subplots, etc, among many other things.
Bring back Jabba the hut! And that guy who's like half dog half human, what happened to him? He was awesome and played by john candy who's also awesome! And I want ewoks! More ewoks please!
Why do the guys shoot laser guns when you can deflect the laser bullets with a force beam sword? When not just use conventional projectile bullets? Seems kinda stupid, but then again, so do those crazy star wars fans.
In a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being pretty okay and 1 being not so okay, I would give Star Wars Episode III: Attack of the Sequels a 1.5.
In closing, I would like to say that I hope they include less crappyness in the next installment of the star wars series.
User Reviews
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2005-05-24 20:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by homeslice (user info) at 2005-05-24 20:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you guys suck
Submitted by Or_ (user info) at 2005-05-23 00:54:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You don't have ANY midiclorians (scoffs)
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-05-23 00:42:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i had heard that if something is to
be travelling the speed of light,
the space between those two points
is said to actually deminish...
i'm no steven hawking, but maybe someone
would clarify this. since if that is true it would seem to
make the whole "laser gun" thing, completely fictional.
which i realize it is... i just need clarification.
i know, i know, complete nerd -2 die, but i'm
curious goddamnit.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-05-22 23:57:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm also trying to stay out of nerd territory here, but this is a pretty ignorant post.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2005-05-22 23:56:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-05-22 23:46:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
good call dipshit, they must be some of those "slow" laser beams you read all about. no, wait, you must be a fuckwit
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-05-22 22:02:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I really didn't want to enter into this little starwars nerd con argument that is developing here, but all these "speed of light" laser beams are obviously not travelling at the speed of light, since you can see them on screen travelling at like 500ft/s
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-05-22 21:45:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
terrible review, nobody cares about your less then clever quips regarding this movie.
As far as the projectile weapons though good point, I am sure the jedi would find it much harder to block bullets, which move in slight excess of the speed of the sound, rather then bolts of energy moving at the speed of light. Also it seems likely that their lightsabers, while easily deflecting said bolts of pure energy and melting solid metals with ease, would prove incapable of stopping a bullet. Of course I have neglected to consider their force abilities which could easily render conventional fire arms meaningless.
- 2 die
Submitted by homeslice (user info) at 2005-05-22 21:40:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
most not lame post ever!
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-05-22 21:29:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nigga pleez
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-05-22 21:27:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
no
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-05-22 21:26:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lamest post ever.
Submitted by shadowofthedivine (user info) at 2005-05-22 21:20:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the film was shit,
and you make a good point about projectiles,
block shotgun, bitch.
Submitted by homeslice (user info) at 2005-05-22 21:15:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
star wars can eat my balls