If Real Life was Like a Dating Website (4729 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.85 on 69 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JMG114 (View user info) at 2005-05-23 10:44:54 EDT
For the purposes of this analysis, let's assume that, instead of the dating site being a webpage you can surf, it's a room you can work.
Now, imagine this room being filled with beautiful women (or men, if you happen to be a woman or ghey. As I am a straight dude, I'll write this from my perspective, but feel free to follow along, substituting in the gender of your choice!).
Okay. Room of beautiful women. About a hundred of them, all standing, talking, and laughing with each other over cocktails.
First, I walk in. The new kid on the block. The new guy on the scene. The new dildo in the drawer. Here I am, ladies!
About three of them look up from their drinks with mild interest, then go right back to talking in their groups.
One in particular catches my eye. She's shorter than I am, has dark hair, and lovely brown eyes. I step up to her and smile. "Hi, I'm Jared."
She nods her head, but it's only in response to what her nearby friend has been saying. She doesn't even glance at me. "Ahem," I continue, "You're looking lovely this evening."
She continues listening to her friend, as though I'm not even there. The corners of her mouth edge up tensely, as though she's trying to hold back a smile. Rolling my eyes, I continue on.
While working my way further into the room, I have the feeling that someone's following me. Shrugging it off, I continue on.
Walking towards another small congregation of ladies, one of them, an average-looking blonde looks up from her conversation and winks at me. Hot damn! I go over, smile, and say, "Hi, I'm Jared."
"Ugh." She frowns and turns back to her friends.
My eyebrow raises. "What happened?" I ask, "What's wrong?"
Tuning me out, she immerses herself in the conversation, whining to her friends, "I don't understand why guys never seem to fall for me." I continue on, this time feeling even more positive that someone's following me.
Near the center of the room, I lock eyes with a long-haired brunette. She beckons me over, and I stride to her side. "Hi, I'm Jared."
"Hi Jared," she smiles, "I'm Stacey."
"It's nice to meet you, Stacey."
"Eew, gross! Don't talk to me!" She sneers and turns her back.
"Um... Stacey?" I run my hand nervously through my hair, "What's wrong? What did I say?"
She whips around, her face shaking with anger, "Tell you what, I've—um—just found someone special and I'm going to see where it leads, okay? Now fuck off!"
"But just a second ago you invited me over to talk."
"I don't have to be fucking rational, now leave me the fuck alone!"
Turning around, I bump into an obese girl with no neck. "Hi," she snorts, "We've been following you. You're cute."
I tilt my head. "Hi. What do you mean, 'We've been following you'?"
She turns around and points to three other girls, each of whom is morbidly obese, disfigured, or a combination of the two. They each wave and blow me kisses.
"Oh," I smile, "I'm sorry. I'm very flattered, but I don't think I'm interested."
She frowns. "Okay. Thanks just the same." Turning around to her friends, she shakes her head and the group disappears back into the crowd.
I feel a little guilty, but that evaporates completely upon seeing a stunning woman with light brown hair and full, achingly kissable lips. She's smiling, wearing a shimmering black dress, and is one of the most beautiful conglomerations of genetics that I've ever seen.
Steeling my nerves, I approach and tap her shoulder lightly. She looks into my eyes and for a moment, there's nothing else on Earth. Not even breath. I would like nothing more than to hold her.
"H-hi, I'm Jared."
Her eyes squint and she grins. "Hi Jared. It's nice to meet you. Can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"How much do you make a year?"
"A hundred and thirty thousand."
"I see, and how much do you really make?"
My shoulders drop. "Not a hundred and thirty thousand."
"Hmm," she shakes her head. "I don't think this is going to work out. Toodles!" She turns back around. Sighing, I continue on my way. At this point, I decide to change tactics.
Strutting up to a tan, attractive blonde, I announce, "I ride motorcycles, have three tattoos, and I'm rich."
Her eyes light up. "Really? Where are your tattoos?"
"One on my arm, and two on my dick, since my cock is so long, it'll be hangin' out of your ass! Plus, I'll treat you like dirt."
Her face melts into lust personified. Her eyelids flutter over her blue eyes and she smiles the smile of a woman who wants to take me right to bed. She turns to her friends.
"Hey gals, I think I found an awesome guy! I'll be in touch tomorrow!"
She turns back to me and curls her arm around mine. Leaning in, her warm breath teases my ear as she whispers, "Let's go back to my place."
Uncoiling her arm from mine, I step back. "Hey, I was just kidding. I don't really have any tattoos, nor do I ride a motorcycle, nor am I rich."
She gasps and puts her hand to her mouth.
"Also," I continue, "I won't treat you like dirt, either."
She slaps me, her palm smacking me momentarily off balance. Turning back to her friends, she gives me the finger. "Asshole. I thought you were the perfect man!"
Content with my results, I turn away, nearly walking into a pale, short-haired blonde with a big smile.
"Oops!" she giggles, "Hi, I'm Rachel."
"Hi Rachel, it's nice to meet you. Tell me about yourself."
"Well, I'm kind, compassionate, affectionate, smart, intelligent, wise, bright, cute, attractive, pretty, nice, sweet, attentive, thoughtful—"
I hold my hand up. "I think that every girl thinks that she's every adjective you just listed. I'd like to learn more about you in particular."
"About me? Well, I'm kind, compassionate, affectionate, smart, intelligent, wise, bright, cute, attractive, pretty, nice, sweet, attentive, thoughtful—"
"But Rachel," I confess, "I don't think that makes you altogether unique. Most people think that they fit into those qualifiers. Tell me something unusual about you."
"Well, I'm kind, compassionate, affectionate, smart, intelligent, wise, bright, cute, attractive, pretty, nice, sweet, attentive, thoughtful . . ."
As she's listing, I turn around, make my way out of the room, and drive back home to play video games and jerk off. I realize that while Rachel was listing all the right adjectives, finding someone who actually HAS those attributes as opposed to merely SAYING that she has them is truly one of the rarest experiences of all.
User Reviews
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-12-26 22:10:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If dating in real life was more like dating in a chat room:
(enter bar)
Me (walking into bar, at the top of my lungs): HELLO! 26/m/TN!!!
Girl 1 (continues drinking): I think the problem in New Orleans and Iraq is aliens.
Guy 2: Liek, Rancid is teh best!
Girl 235 (standing on a table): MY TITS ARE HUGE AND I NEED A GOOD SHAGGING TONIGHT!!
Girl 45: Rancid sucks, old man.
Guy 1: I totally know what you mean...aliens...yeah. Got nakkie pics?
Me (making my way to the bar): Single guy here!
Guy 1: Hey talk to me in a private room...
Me: HAHAAA!
(girl 19 approaches me)
Girl 19 (smiling and shaking her hips): Hi!
Me: Hello, girl 19. I'm Chris!
Girl 19: What's your name?
Me: I just told you, Chris. What's your name?
Girl 19: I love that name. Are you lonely tonight?
Me: ...Are you dodging my question because you're uncomfortable sharing your name with a stranger? Can I buy you a drink?
Girl 19: I'm lonely too. Would you like to tuck me in?
(wave my hand through her head and realise she's not real.)
Me: Is anyone in here wanting a drink?
Girl 23478: CLICK MY CUM-COVERED FACE TO SEE ME SHOVE A SHOPPING CART IN MY ASS!
Guy 345: BUY NEW PENIS ENLARGER CREAM!!
Me: Hello?
Girl 19 (smiling and shaking her hips): Hi!
Me: Oh shit you again.
Girl 19: What's your name?
Guy 23489: ASL LADIES, HOT GUY HERE READY TO ROCK YOUR WORLD!!
Me: I'm fuckin' outta here.
(leave bar)
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2006-12-26 22:10:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The new dildo in the drawer.
***
Haha - that was so tarded it was funny.
My lips are going numb. I'll pat them like an Indian {Native American} while going "woooooo" - that always brings 'em back to life.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-12-26 21:46:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Kova22 (user info) at 2005-08-25 15:16:32 (#)
Ranking: -2
uggh
Submitted by Kova22 (user info) at 2005-08-25 15:16:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
uggh
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-08-07 14:22:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-07-27 20:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is why you find joke dates and write stories about them!
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2005-06-20 15:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by hawkeynut (user info) at 2005-05-31 11:59:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is so true it's crazy. I just broke up with my girlfriend because she's messed in the head because of the retard she dated and lived with before me. Too many girls have baggage and it affects the nice guy because she felt the need to date some ass. I'm bitter at all women now.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-05-26 16:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-05-26 16:50:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm bored with this topic now, if I was ever amused by it.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-05-26 16:37:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jared,
This was funny, but I think that you need to stray from these websites. Sure, they've brought amusement to those that have read your exploits, but from what I gather from your stories, they've brought you great strife.
You're a nice guy, brotha. There is someone perfect out there for you. She won't be an intellectual or emotional vacuum; she'll appreciate your sense of humor and you as a whole.
Stay off the web-dating sites. I'm not saying "dive" head-first into the bar-scene. I know it's not your thing (what I gathered from Vegas). Go to the park, gym, coffee shop, book-store, etc. You know the places where real people go.
Just my opinion. Best wishes.
PS: Hey SpongeJared, where's my Vegas video, eh? Everyone else is talking about it and I have nothing.
Terry
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2005-05-25 14:39:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very Good
Submitted by Grownasskid (user info) at 2005-05-24 21:39:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2005-05-24 14:39:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GroundHogSlayer (user info) at 2005-05-24 11:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
to bad it's not like that
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-05-24 11:18:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All internet chicks are easy.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-05-24 10:29:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this more than Pentameter's burning underwear post.
B@W
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-05-24 10:16:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never have a problem with my dates.
Of course, they all are about 15 minutes long, and cost $50...
But that's not the point...
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-05-24 09:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish I was an asshole.
I'd have strings of hot ladies with huge tits and dripping hoo-haa's.
As it is, i'm a considerate, well mannered guy, and have had one serious girlfriend and no one night stands.
No wonder we didn't let you vote, work, or hold positions of responsibility for decades. You're too fucking stupid.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-05-24 08:53:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
funny
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-05-24 08:35:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think the funniest thing about the dating scene is that when you stop looking, that's when you actually find who you've been looking for all along.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-24 07:10:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hated the dating scene the whole time I was on it, so full of fakes, sluts, and uglies. Now I'm out of it and I can see from the outside perspective I....
still hate it; it's full of fakes sluts and uglies.
Submitted by tat2dcoyote (user info) at 2005-05-23 19:43:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
very well written, and very true...
but it's also true the other way.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-05-23 19:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's exactly how I meant it. This wasn't a blanket statement about all women, just the ones I remember encountering in various Internet-related circumstances.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-05-23 19:40:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-05-23 13:03:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll +2 this because it's so well-done, but I want it noted that I take serious offense. I would honestly say that less than half of the women in the world act like this and that.
--------------------
I think it would be easier to view Jared's "dating room" as a room of the women who actually go on the internet to "date", ie: to fuck around. Nice girls don't "date" in the super-industrious way that these gals do. In fact, most nice gals stay off websites to find men. This room just represents the internet daters.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-05-23 19:36:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, funny.
Since this is pretty closely related, I think I might linkwhore... but nicely.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49753
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-23 19:00:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-05-23 18:38:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-05-23 17:17:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
I could SO make a counter post from the viewpoint of a woman.
It would start out with me walking into a dark, smelly bar. The walls would be lined with drooling men of all shapes and sizes. They swallow handfuls of Viagra and make grunting noises while burying an arm down their pants to massage their testicles as they approach me...
Then it's all downhill from there.
------------------
I see we've already met, except for the viagra. I'm still get boners for no reason, which is truly one of gods greatest gifts to man.
Submitted by transhuman (user info) at 2005-05-23 18:27:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-05-23 17:53:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Strutting up to a tan, attractive blonde, I announce, "I ride motorcycles, have three tattoos, and I'm rich."
Her eyes light up. "Really? Where are your tattoos?"
"One on my arm, and two on my dick, since my cock is so long, it'll be hangin' out of your ass! Plus, I'll treat you like dirt."
that's so great I need to try that some time.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-05-23 17:29:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Filthy & Tinactin - It's for humor purposes. I write what I see and what I see is funny. Your advice is sage and something I agree with.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-05-23 17:17:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bravo, Cookie... well said.
And to add a bit.. why is it that average guys think they are "entitled" to the beautiful girls, and shun the average girls?
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-05-23 17:17:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I could SO make a counter post from the viewpoint of a woman.
It would start out with me walking into a dark, smelly bar. The walls would be lined with drooling men of all shapes and sizes. They swallow handfuls of Viagra and make grunting noises while burying an arm down their pants to massage their testicles as they approach me...
Then it's all downhill from there.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-05-23 16:56:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You ever think that maybe you're trying a bit too hard, and maybe that is what they find unappealing? Not to say that I know you or anything, but it seems like you have had an awful lot of internet dating experiences.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-05-23 16:37:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-05-23 15:00:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown!
-- Homer Simpson
Secrets of a Successful Marriage
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-23 14:59:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jared,
I'm suprised you did not include your encounter with that 'girl' who seemed to know everything about a guy wanted to hear and everything about what a guy wanted in a female, most likely because she had all the equipment that a guy has as well...
Submitted by Gnat (user info) at 2005-05-23 14:46:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm so like that.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-05-23 14:21:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Well, I'm kind, compassionate, affectionate, smart, intelligent, wise, bright, cute, attractive, pretty, nice, sweet, attentive, thoughtful—"
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-05-23 14:18:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hold up a second. Rather than churning out posts complaining about the calibre of women on some dating website, how about (and I realise this is radical enough to be on the verge of madness) not going to dating websites.
I mean, seriously. What do you expect? People who are 'actively seeking' a partner are usually just looking for a person-shaped bandaid, be they male or female - why would anyone want to be with someone like that?
I just don't get it dude.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-05-23 14:18:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
there are no nice girls on the internet. I include myself in that statement- I'm horrible.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-05-23 13:54:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-05-23 11:44:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-05-23 11:34:21 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-05-23 11:06:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
He he! Look, I've said it before, and I'll say it again.
The thing to remember is that all women are crazy.
-------------------------------------------------------
The key to happiness is finding the woman that is LESS crazy than the others!
___________________
Not even close. The trick is finding the woman who is crazy in all the ways that perfectly complement YOUR fucking absurd, strange, whackjob behavior.
To quote my husband: "You're a lunatic. What are you doing? THE FISH WILL NOT TALK BACK TO YOU, YOU FUCKING WEIRDO. Now let's play X-box games while you make animal noises, because that makes me happy."
------------------------------
Yes...I agree with Circe completely.
Everyone is fucking nuts. End of story.
Submitted by mysterious.adventure (user info) at 2005-05-23 13:42:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-23 13:16:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think Cookielass said exactly what I wanted to say.
----
"I didn't see you saying "Over in the corner was a laughing girl, talking animatedly to her friends and genuinely enjoying herself. She seemed comfortable in her own skin and when I moved to the outer circle of people, I could hear that she was interesting and funny, so I introduced myself.""
----
I agree with that as well. Though, for me at least, I'm often intimidated as much as I'm intrigued by such persons and would be reluctant to approach them depending on my current state of mind - feeling self confident, or not caring about rejection, to lack of confidence, etc. My first post on Uber actually described this feeling that I'm talking about. Well, tried to describe it... in a poem that wasn't well recieved.
Actually, now that I think about it, I'd be reluctant to approach a person like that because I'd fear that she would actually be someone I might get along with, then immediately worry about rejection down the road. Whereas not having the chance to get to know someone and being rejected right up front would be easier for me to handle. But then again, that's just me, and this is just this moment sitting here in front of the computer. There is no telling how's I'd actually react in an actual situation until I am confronted with it. Either way, it is a crazy game.
The adventure continues...
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-05-23 13:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cookie - You're not on a dating website, so as far as I'm concerned, this doesn't apply to you. Based on my experience, this appraisal is, sadly, accurate.
It's not that they don't react to my superficial interest, although I'll be the first to admit that my initial interest is, in fact, superficial. I think I make it clear that I'm interested in learning about them, but they're the ones who do the shunning, and for generally mysterious reasons. The girls above don't say, "You're ugly, stay away." They're inviting me over, already knowing what I look like, and then, when I start being polite, they shun me.
I think that superficiality is only one piece of the puzzle above. The rest of it is that both genders are decidedly nuts.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-23 13:16:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think Cookielass said exactly what I wanted to say.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-05-23 13:03:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll +2 this because it's so well-done, but I want it noted that I take serious offense. I would honestly say that less than half of the women in the world act like this and that, for the record, normal, stable, mature, worthy women don't dig assholes who treat them like crap. Any woman who does isn't worthy of having someone in their life. As you wrote, you pointed out the stunning beauty of every girl you chose to speak to, and if they didn't react to your superficial interest, then there's something wrong with them. What if they just plain don't find you attractive (not calling you ugly, just making a point you know)? If you're going to pass over girls based on them not being physically attractive to you (which is fine) then why is it wrong for a woman to pass you over for (presumably) the same reason? I didn't see you saying "Over in the corner was a laughing girl, talking animatedly to her friends and genuinely enjoying herself. She seemed comfortable in her own skin and when I moved to the outer circle of people, I could hear that she was interesting and funny, so I introduced myself."
And now I can't remember where I was going with that, because my boss sidetracked me.... but I'm sure you get my meaning.
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2005-05-23 13:02:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-05-23 12:56:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-23 12:51:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-05-23 12:49:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:56:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
It doesn't pay to be a single, normal, nice guy.
Get yourself a green mohawk, and so many facial piercings that it looks like you stuck your face into a tackle box. Then you would need a stick to beat them away. Girls like freaks.
_______________________________________________
Bob knows, he hooked his girl with the all powerfull mini mullet, and it was good. Then he got a hair cut and lost a little bit of the Billy Ray that was yearning to boogaloo. SHame on you, Bob. Shame on you. What would Jim Thorpe say? Nothing, thats what. Because hes dead, you see.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-05-23 12:32:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mysterious.adventure (user info) at 2005-05-23 12:31:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, I swear each day I'm lead to these posts. This was good, and I believe it complements this one I read last night, http://www.ubersite.com/m/64303 "Girls: Pull Your Heads Out Of Your Asses".
What a crazy game.
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-05-23 12:26:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You hit the blonde on the head with that one...
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-05-23 12:18:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy Jesus! Circe, can I be -- like -- your second husband or something?
Oh, and the post was alright too, I guess.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-23 11:50:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
An interesting take....
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-05-23 11:44:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-05-23 11:34:21 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-05-23 11:06:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
He he! Look, I've said it before, and I'll say it again.
The thing to remember is that all women are crazy.
-------------------------------------------------------
The key to happiness is finding the woman that is LESS crazy than the others!
___________________
Not even close. The trick is finding the woman who is crazy in all the ways that perfectly complement YOUR fucking absurd, strange, whackjob behavior.
To quote my husband: "You're a lunatic. What are you doing? THE FISH WILL NOT TALK BACK TO YOU, YOU FUCKING WEIRDO. Now let's play X-box games while you make animal noises, because that makes me happy."
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-05-23 11:36:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree, accede, acknowledge, acquiesce, admit, allow, buy, buy into, check, clinch, comply, concede, concur, consent, engage, give blessing, grant, okay, pass on, permit, play ball, recognize, set, settle, shake hands, shake on, side with, sign, stand together, subscribe, yes
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-05-23 11:34:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-05-23 11:06:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
He he! Look, I've said it before, and I'll say it again.
The thing to remember is that all women are crazy.
-------------------------------------------------------
The key to happiness is finding the woman that is LESS crazy than the others!
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-05-23 11:30:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Plus, I'll treat you like dirt."
yeah... sad but true... sad but true...
non-wackjob girls do exist jared. they're all in hiding though.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2005-05-23 11:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can smell it, and it smells good.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-23 11:06:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-05-23 11:06:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-05-23 11:06:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He he! Look, I've said it before, and I'll say it again.
The thing to remember is that all women are crazy.
Submitted by Feebleattempt (user info) at 2005-05-23 11:05:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nicely done. Helps me remember why I got married. Hate dating!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-23 11:03:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:56:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I turn around, make my way out of the room, and drive back home to play video games and jerk off.
-------------------------------------
Coincidently, that's the exact advice I give to all my friends about dating.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It doesn't pay to be a single, normal, nice guy.
Get yourself a green mohawk, and so many facial piercings that it looks like you stuck your face into a tackle box. Then you would need a stick to beat them away. Girls like freaks.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:50:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-23 10:49:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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