I just love my Adjustable Wound Care Shoe! (736 hits)
Category: SportsRating: 1.45 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (View user info) at 2005-05-23 13:10:39 EDT
On Thursday I broke my foot. I wish I had a really interesting story to tell when people ask me "What happened?" I wish I could tell them "I was sliding into second to break up a double play", or "I was skydiving" or "I kicked a would-be bank robber in the head" or just about anything but the truth. Unfortunately, the story I tell is much more mundane.
A little background: according to the emergency room doctor, I had a stress fracture in the bone that connects between the little toe and the ankle (I keep hearing that song...the toe bone connected to the foot bone, the foot bone connected to the ankle bone, etc.). The fracture had been bothering me for about 4 or 5 months and I'd been ignoring it. In fact, I'd been operating under the assumption that it was just a strained tendon or something. So, I'd continued to run, ride my bike, and play softball all of this time even though I had this constantly nagging pain.
Anyway, on Thursday I went to play softball and that's where the break occurred. But not during the game, oh no, that would have been too cool...it happened before the game. I had just finished warming up and I told the coach "I'm going to run and take a piss...don't start without me". I then jogged toward the stairs that lead to the restroom, landed on the bottom step with my bad foot, and heard a snap in that exact spot where I had been hurting for so long. I remember thinking "Shit, that can't be good".
Up until that point I had never broken a bone, and even though I wasn't sure what had happened I knew that the pain I was feeling wouldn't allow me to play. I went back to the dugout and told the coach that I wouldn't be playing because my foot was too fucked up and I headed for the parking lot to drive myself home. I still didn't suspect that it was broken, I just thought something inside was badly torn.
Since it was my left foot, and I drive a standard transmission vehicle, it didn't take too long for me to regret my decision to drive myself home. I somehow made it the 15 miles to my house and then switched to my automatic transmission van to drive myself to the hospital emergency room. X-rays in the emergency room showed a break about halfway through the bone. I'm now required to wear this geeky looking "Soft cast" for 4 to 6 weeks while it heals.
So, here I am at work today and when people ask me "What happened?" I am forced to start the story with "I was going to the bathroom..."
Many of my co-workers have told me that I need a better story.
User Reviews
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-10-06 17:14:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Clockwork Orange prize!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-25 06:34:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THOSE LOOK FUCKING COMFORTABLE
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-06-25 06:12:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoa Jumpin J!
Those are some UGLY MF'n shoes!
You stole them from "the brothers" didn't you.
They look like the same shoes my Golden State Warriors wear.
Damn!
<wiseass'gator'salesman>
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-05-23 16:19:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anything that looks like a moon boot is a strikingly beautiful piece of podiatric art.
...or whatever.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-05-23 15:43:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-05-23 15:39:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr. Jellyfish, I have just learned that you live in my town. Or I live in yours, most likely, since I ain't from around these parts.
I feel this is cause to celebrate.
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San Antonio?
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-05-23 15:39:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr. Jellyfish, I have just learned that you live in my town. Or I live in yours, most likely, since I ain't from around these parts.
I feel this is cause to celebrate.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-05-23 14:21:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool shoe
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-05-23 14:15:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-05-23 13:58:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell people you broke it yourself with a hammer because you were hoping to get some good drugs from the doctor.
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Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-05-23 13:58:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
oh jeez dude that sucks, not at the start of summer daham
One of the guys from karate had a wicked nasty bruise on the top of his foot. He was walking through his den in the dark and nailed it on the runner of a rocking chair, so much for ninjalike prowess. We've come up with some much better stories that make him sound like a badass involving home invasions and not so much letting the cat out.
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All around good advice!
Submitted by Haggard (user info) at 2005-05-23 14:06:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Just tell people it's from kicking too much ass
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-05-23 13:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell people you broke it yourself with a hammer because you were hoping to get some good drugs from the doctor.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-05-23 13:58:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh jeez dude that sucks, not at the start of summer daham
One of the guys from karate had a wicked nasty bruise on the top of his foot. He was walking through his den in the dark and nailed it on the runner of a rocking chair, so much for ninjalike prowess. We've come up with some much better stories that make him sound like a badass involving home invasions and not so much letting the cat out.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-05-23 13:26:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Just do like my boyfriend does.... lie.
He has a scar forming on the top of his head from when we first started dating... after I said yes to meeting up with him, he was, and I quote, "gaily frolicking through the house" when he hit his head on some sharp wall art and cut himself. He tells people he was in a barfight.
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2005-05-23 13:17:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I stoped after "Unfortunately, the story I tell is much more mundane. "
Submitted by Dripping_Abscess (user info) at 2005-05-23 13:12:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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