Officer is Outwitted (864 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -1.15 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mr J (View user info) at 2005-05-23 18:39:37 EDT
*Thought this would inspire a smirk*
I was driving through town last weekend, doing my usual 10 mph over the posted speed limit. Sure enough, the squad car flashes lights behind me, despite all the other assholes speeding, cutting me off, and running over helpless old ladies around me.
I pull onto a side street, roll down my window, and wait to see his ugly face walk up to my side mirror. He does the usual, scans my plates, runs my numbers, yadda yadda yadda... Then I see him walking back towards me, ticket in hand. Quickly thinking of some way to get myself out of it or an excuse to pull, it hits me.
"Sir, I'm issuing you a ticket for..." the officer starts.
I reply, "A ticket for the Waukegan Police's Annual Ball?"
The officer responds, "Sir, Waukegan Police don't HAVE balls..."
At that moment, he levels his head and stares off into the distance for a few seconds. The officer follows up by looking back to me, wishing me a good afternoon, and strolling back to his squad car. I pull out and he quickly does a U-Turn and is out of sight.
Who knows if he told the other officers or not. All I know is, that was one ticket in which I didn't have to pay for.
User Reviews
Submitted by Darshiscool (user info) at 2005-10-19 01:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
SUCKS
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-28 18:35:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JHoersten2 (user info) at 2005-08-28 17:43:06 (#)
Ranking: -2
oh wow that's gay.
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Submitted by JHoersten2 (user info) at 2005-08-28 17:42:53 (#)
Ranking: -2
very gay
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Submitted by JHoersten2 (user info) at 2005-08-28 17:42:22 (#)
Ranking: -2
gay
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Submitted by JHoersten2 (user info) at 2005-08-28 17:42:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
You wanna be immature and type, "gay" on every post cause you're that immature? Ok. You have a lot more posts than me.
oh yes: gay
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-05-30 19:39:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
when God asks me where i'd like to haunt after my painful, prolonged battle with rectal stones, i'm going to ask to take up your damned urethra!
Submitted by JHoersten2 (user info) at 2005-05-24 19:18:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 23:07:31 (#)
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Something I stole and claimed as my own? Notice at the top of the post it says, "I thought this would inspire a smirk"
Then I posted the article. So help me god, that whoever wrote it used first person, but since I posted it here, IT MUST MEAN THAT I STOLE IT AND CLAIMED IT HAPPENED TO MYSELF!!!11111
Oh wait, never does it actually say that this happened to me.
Yes, I could have sited where I got it, but guess what shithead, I dont really care. So please, get worked up over it, since you're so 'smart' and 'knowledgable', that you cruise the uber boards in search of something grand to stimulate that rather ignorant brain of yours.
I don't know where you get the impression that what any of you say actually matters to me, but continue to post your most inner thoughts, in all hopes that I don't sit here and laugh at it.
too late.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-05-24 09:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, I thought it was funny...
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 23:07:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JHoersten2 (user info) at 2005-05-23 21:53:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
OH HOW DID I FORGET!!! You're all 'COOLNESS' Cogniseurs.
UH OH, CAN IT BE??? Did I already know that you'd all react this way??? *GASP*...
THAT'S RIGHT! I've proven that although you people think you're SO high and mighty, you are JUST as easily manipulated by complete strangers. You obviously have no logical problem solving skills, nor perspective on other point of views. Congrats on doing exactly what I expected you to do, you pretty little pawns.
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OMG! You totally tricked us into giving a "Don't bother" rating to something you STOLE and wasn't worth reading! You're an evil genius! How can we ever stop a maniacal mastermind such as yourself?
Logical problem solving skills? I only saw one problem in your post: It wasn't yours. It took less than five minutes before someone busted you on it, you got all bent out of shape and then you pulled the classic, "I have used you all! Muhahahahahaha!" bullshit. I think the logical problem is that we're TOO smart for your dumbass and you feel outclassed and therefore offended.
Perspective on other points of view? You wrote a post in the first person acting like the story had happened to you. You gave no credit to anyone from the hundreds of sources which you could've easily given. You're probably one of those stupid fuckers that takes every good story he ever hears and changes it around so it's told like it happened to you instead. What POV were you trying to get across to your reader? It certainly wasn't anyone else's.
Your post bombed because you are a thief and not a very good one, at that. I suppose your next great masterpiece will be "Some Poetry from My High School Days" with copied and pasted passages from "Romeo & Juliet".
...AND WHAT THE FUCK ARE "COGNISEURS"?
Eat Shit and Live,
SW
Submitted by Dripping_Abscess (user info) at 2005-05-23 22:52:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fucker adn die
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-05-23 22:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you keep repeating the same lame argument, good job!
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-23 22:35:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what bill said bitch
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-05-23 22:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OH HOW DID I FORGET!!! You're all 'COOLNESS' Cogniseurs.
UH OH, CAN IT BE??? Did I already know that you'd all react this way??? *GASP*...
THAT'S RIGHT! I've proven that although you people think you're SO high and mighty, you are JUST as easily manipulated by complete strangers. You obviously have no logical problem solving skills, nor perspective on other point of views. Congrats on doing exactly what I expected you to do, you pretty little pawns.
Your lesson:
Dont believe everything you read
Start looking outside your own pretty perception of the world
Learn not to make yourself look like an ignorant asshole by biting your tongue.
-or being considerate/kind/appreciative/respectful/mature
Stop basing your life off petty internet articles (AS THEY ARE CLAIMED to be true or fiction)
Well, this site is for enjoyment, and i must say, I TRULY enjoyed this whole experience. It's nice that I can almost control random people on the internet. *sigh* what kind of 'stupid' world is this coming to...
Enjoy!
________________________
you still suck, and deep down
you know you swallow too.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-05-23 22:06:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you copied a crappy joke and we're the assholes. Nice try half brain.
Submitted by JHoersten2 (user info) at 2005-05-23 21:53:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OH HOW DID I FORGET!!! You're all 'COOLNESS' Cogniseurs.
UH OH, CAN IT BE??? Did I already know that you'd all react this way??? *GASP*...
THAT'S RIGHT! I've proven that although you people think you're SO high and mighty, you are JUST as easily manipulated by complete strangers. You obviously have no logical problem solving skills, nor perspective on other point of views. Congrats on doing exactly what I expected you to do, you pretty little pawns.
Your lesson:
Dont believe everything you read
Start looking outside your own pretty perception of the world
Learn not to make yourself look like an ignorant asshole by biting your tongue.
-or being considerate/kind/appreciative/respectful/mature
Stop basing your life off petty internet articles (AS THEY ARE CLAIMED to be true or fiction)
Well, this site is for enjoyment, and i must say, I TRULY enjoyed this whole experience. It's nice that I can almost control random people on the internet. *sigh* what kind of 'stupid' world is this coming to...
Enjoy!
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-23 20:30:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nice joke shekky
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2005-05-23 19:27:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It's an old joke and you completely plagiarized it. You actually thought this would get a good reception here? Get a clue or go away.
You could've at least credited one of the 121 sources google returns for "policemen don't have balls".
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-05-23 19:27:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow.
That is an OLD joke.
And you didn't do this.
And once a ticket is written, it can't be voided.
And I call shenanigans.
And you wasted everyone's time.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-05-23 19:16:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Look Pal, you stole a joke...an old, unfunny one at that...and expected people to enjoy it?
You might as well be the fat kid talking about taking Karate and that he is a black belt but he can't do any of that stuff at school because the police warned him that he is a "killin machine"
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-05-23 19:15:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JHoersten2 (user info) at 2005-05-23 18:54:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-05-23 18:41:47 (#)
Ranking: -2
I smell bullshit.
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I smell stupid ignorant mother fucker who deserves to be shot in the face.
That's right bitch, it's time for your mushroom bruise
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Terrifying. I'd write more, but I'm busy cleaning the shit out of my pants.
Submitted by JHoersten2 (user info) at 2005-05-23 19:00:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wait wait... your comments define my life. hold on while I jot them all down. Oh wait, that's right... you think you're some special critique because you glance over internet articles. What newspaper do you work for? Oh yes, none. Tell mommy I said hello, when she gets home to make you a snack. Until then, go fuck yourself kid.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-23 18:58:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My, what an intimidating comment. That guy must be shitting himself with fear.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-05-23 18:55:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this guy sure is hardcore.
Submitted by JHoersten2 (user info) at 2005-05-23 18:54:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-05-23 18:41:47 (#)
Ranking: -2
I smell bullshit.
---------------------------------------------------------
I smell stupid ignorant mother fucker who deserves to be shot in the face.
That's right bitch, it's time for your mushroom bruise
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-23 18:51:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I laughed.
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2005-05-23 18:51:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Karl: You don't belong here. You're a fraud and a phony and it's only
a matter of time until they find you out.
Homer: (gasps) Who told you?
Simpson and Delilah
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-05-23 18:48:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
What The Fuck Was This?
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-05-23 18:41:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I smell bullshit.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-05-23 18:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you earned this -2.