If Frogs had Wings... (1088 hits)
Category: HumorLabels: ETS_Comedy_Writing
Rating: 1.43 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (View user info) at 2005-05-24 13:01:32 EDT
If all dogs go to heaven, does that mean that all people who are allergic to their dander are just shit out of luck?
If all the polar ice caps melted and the world flooded, would the only people to survive be hillbillies?
If you were a hillbilly, could your name be 'George'? And could you conceivably travel to lower elevations without going through an identity crisis?
If the moon were made of spongecake, would it ever get moldy or stale? Would we eat it anyway?
If a tree falls in the forest and noone is around to hear it, does it make a sound when plugged into a Marshall amp? What if it's turned up to 11?
If slavery were still legal, would there be slave stores at the local mall? Would they have half-off clearance racks for slaves with missing appendages?
If you bought an item at a store that required assembly and the contents list was missing, how would you know?
If you were a airline pilot, would you accumulate frequent flier miles?
If you were a hit-man living in the Holy Land, it would be a bad idea to dump your bodies in the Dead Sea, despite the confusing name.
If horses had thumbs and stood upright, would they play the game of horseshoes?- I'd say 'no' because you really don't ever see people throwing boots around poles...at least not while keeping score.
If frogs had wings, would all our trees would be infested with tadpoles? Would the common housefly would become extinct?
If aliens did land on earth, would they call us all 'Indians'? Then, do you think they would try to steal, like, all our expired credit cards or something?
If the human genitalia were located on the earlobe, would Christians boycott vibrating phones and earmuffs?
If landmines played ice-cream truck jingles, would they kill more people?
If a picture paints a thousand words, then would you let me paint you naked?
If our parents forced us to do drugs and have promiscuous sex as children, would we all grow up wanting to go to church?
If you replaced the word 'if' with the phrase 'mutherfucker', would this post make more sense?
Feel free to add your own...
User Reviews
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-09-02 01:42:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-09-02 01:28:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
recalc
Submitted by JHoersten2 (user info) at 2005-08-28 17:54:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
gay
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-05-24 23:14:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by electricfagfucksyndrome (user info) at 2005-05-24 22:40:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
Shitfuck, I can be just as violent as I can be forgiving, which you would probably out if I ever met you in person.
_______________
How many times are you gonna threaten me?
Thanks for the laughs.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-05-24 19:37:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
up your ass?
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-24 19:13:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ETS, I have lost my Muse. Oh, where can I find another?
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-05-24 18:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shadowofthedivine...
nice username
Submitted by shadowofthedivine (user info) at 2005-05-24 18:29:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if frogs had wings, that bloody crazy frog ringtone would be
even more annoying.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-05-24 18:14:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was beginning to miss you Walrus...
...who are you again? :P
Submitted by The_Walrus (user info) at 2005-05-24 17:00:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, It's been awhile. Had to check out Ubermadness III... afraid I won't be invited however. Pity me.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-05-24 16:39:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-05-24 16:11:03 (#)
Ranking: 1
I wanted to laugh
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If you were a real vulva, could I fuck you in the ass?
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-05-24 16:11:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I wanted to laugh
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-24 15:13:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"If landmines played ice-cream truck jingles, would they kill more people?"
it was meh until this
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-24 15:13:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...I would fly
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-05-24 14:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by oxanar (user info) at 2005-05-24 14:41:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
If you had the opportunity to post conditions while the opposite of sober, would they all be as obtuse?
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My first reaction to that is "what?" My second reaction is "it's a trap."
Submitted by oxanar (user info) at 2005-05-24 14:41:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you had the opportunity to post conditions while the opposite of sober, would they all be as obtuse?
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-05-24 14:01:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If slavery were still legal, would there be slave stores at the local mall? Would they have half-off clearance racks for slaves with missing appendages?
+2 for the mental image of an armless slave hanging from a kiosk rack.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-05-24 13:43:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-24 13:40:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Are there really 6 billion individual breasts in the world?
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Sadly, not with the advent of masectomy.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-24 13:40:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How many text messages does the universe contain?
Are there really 6 billion individual breasts in the world?
Who killed Asmodean?
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-05-24 13:36:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If the sea is red, does it take a brave pirate to sail it?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-05-24 13:15:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My name is George = (
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-05-24 13:11:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If life gives a kid lemons, and he makes lemonade, would you go to jail for stealing the $4.75 he's made so far?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-05-24 13:09:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"We all know that the moon is not made of green cheese.
What if it were made of barbeque spare ribs would you eat it then?
I would. Heck I'd have seconds. Then polish it off with a tall cool budweiser. I would do it."
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-05-24 13:02:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oops