A Day In The Life Of Shark25 And Various Leakages From My Brain. (783 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.67 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Shark25 (View user info) at 2005-05-25 12:47:28 EDT
I recently found out at my job I may have to note what I have done every hour.
WOO! Just another way to make sure I get less work done.
Well I just thought I'd give Uber a look into my daily life at work.
9:00am to 10:00am: Get to work and look thru emails and wonder if my manager realizes I walked in 30 minutes late.
10:00am to 11:00am: Stare at the really fat guy in the cube next to me and wonder if the huge bulge in his pants is a fat pouch or if he has a monstrous dick. Start doing some calculations to find truth.
11:00am to 12:00pm: Question own sexuality after having spent an hour staring at fat dudes bulge. Get asked by fat dude to "stop staring at my fucking crotch!" Get courage to ask fat dude if that's his dick. Informed that fat dude is actually fat lady. Start doing more calculations. WOO! No longer have to question sexuality just sanity.
12:00pm to 1:00pm: Lunch.
1:00pm to 2:00pm: Called into manager's office and told that I can no longer call my fellow employees my whores as I could get into trouble. Call manager a whore and leave.
2:00pm to 3:00pm: Work. No seriously I did! Whatever! Fuck you guys!
3:00pm to 4:00pm: Checked out Uber to see whose been fucking who, whose telling who, who hates who, and then IF I have time I'll read an actual post.
4:00pm to 5:00pm: Do the five knuckle shuffle in cube to amazing looking red head on the other side. Then realize that redhead is a dude in drag. Spend rest of hour underneath my desk rocking back and forth crying. Then asked him if he would like to get a drink later. I am denied. Question sexuality once again.
5:00pm to 6:00pm: Take a thirty minute shit and then proceed to call doctor's office to make sure that the massive amount of blood in my stool is normal. It is not. Shit.
Well there is my day full of productivity and me growing as a person.
Now for some brain leakage:
I saw on VH1, or as I like to call it MTV's retarded cousin that eats its own feces, that Jerry Hall, model and former wife to Rolling Stones geriatric lead singer Mick Jagger, has a new "reality" show coming out called Kept. In the show she picks from a group of younger men to be her lap dog. So to expand on this she has got a bunch of young dudes who are legally retarded and so they work out a lot to make up for the mental short comings to compete to fuck her. If I want to know what it's like to fuck Jerry Hall I'll just fuck my wallet. Both are old, leathery, and dried up. The only difference is that my wallet had less STD's. I hate reality TV.
My son has learned the word shit. It happened when I came walking into the room and stubbed my toe on the couch and yelled shit. Since then he has started running around the room saying shit over and over. My only response: "shit."
Saw Star Wars, wet myself, nuff said.
My wife and I won tickets to attend a party on a three level river boat on Friday. What happens is you go up and down the river for two hours and get insanely drunk. I love getting drunk on a boat because if you have to pee there is a bathroom on either side of the boat. Unless you are on the second and third levels. Then you can still do what you gotta do but you better have a good story if you hit anyone like: It's raining or happy birthday or even early Christmas.
Good Times
User Reviews
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-02 20:27:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Spookie, why you fuckin with my niggah sharkie fo'
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-06-02 13:18:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I knew it!
Like clockwork.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-06-02 13:09:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/66724
I bet you're angry because of that, dork.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-06-02 10:36:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds like you'll be sucessful. Enjoy a lifetime of debt and being laid off before retirement.
Submitted by speeddaimon (user info) at 2005-05-26 11:06:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually the River City Star is the old Belle of Brownville. I will be joining the Shark on this "adventure", better known as the booze cruise. Should be another good time that I don't recall. Oh, and +2 cause you got me a ticket and hottie to go with us.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-05-25 22:55:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I love your brain leakings.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-05-25 16:30:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice work, consider yourself promoted to shark24. Keep this up and you will be shark1 in no time.
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2005-05-25 15:58:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
tele its the river city star in Omaha
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-25 15:54:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHA
do they actually get to fuck jerry hall? ewww....
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-05-25 15:47:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Belle of Brownville or one of the Casinos?
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-05-25 15:34:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Homer: I suppose you want to probe me. Well, you might as well get
it over with.
Kang: Stop! We have reached the limits of what rectal probing can
teach us.
Treehouse of Horror VII
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-05-25 14:47:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
blood in stool? ewwwww
Submitted by clumeister (user info) at 2005-05-25 14:36:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I want to know what it's like to fuck Jerry Hall I'll just fuck my wallet. Both are old, leathery, and dried up.
+2 for that
now where's my wallet =P
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-05-25 13:03:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As long as you're questioning your sexuality ... up for some butt-sex?
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2005-05-25 12:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff...
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-05-25 12:54:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I still love you.