The "M" factor. (763 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.5 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by girlintheworld (View user info) at 2005-05-25 14:30:21 EDT
My boyfriend and I decided to move in together, just for the summer. I didn't think it would be easy, but I didn't expect it to be excruciatingly painful. Yes, we are young. Yes, we are stupid. And yes, I'm glad I cleared that up for you.
I never realized how much living with another person would be a pain in the ass. I mean, sometimes it's ok, but lately I've been ignoring him a lot. We seem to agree to this arrangement until he gets pissed off that I'm ignoring him, or I get pissed off that he isn't pissed off. But usually the latter never happens. I can remain as quiet as the day is long.
When he gets pissed off though, he whines. I just look at him for a while. And then it all comes out, both of us rushing through sentences, screaming, crying, then hushed whispers, listening, silence. The more this happens, the more I'm thinking this isn't really going to be long-term (we've been dating for 8 months, so I don't know if that counts, or not). The more this happens, he starts to tell me that he only sees us as long-term, and he wouldn't want to be with me in the first place if I wasn't someone he saw himself marrying.
Wait. Uh, 'scuse me? I don't think you understand. I'm 20 years old. I'm not ready for marriage. I've never had the best example of married couples. My parents divorced before I was born, and my dad has been engaged to my step-mom for 15 years. Why? She refuses to marry him. "He didn't ask the right way."
...Exactly.
So, in all honesty, I don't understand how it works. My parents (dad and step-mom) fought all the fuckin time over stupid stuff. They yelled and screamed and called cops. They probably would've called God if they could and asked why he made them endure such punishment. To which he probably would've replied, "You're Jewish and she's a non-practicing "only when I feel like going to church" Catholic. It's only fair."
Their fights were pretty humorous, only I didn't think of it that way growing up. My dad was usually the quiet one, talking in a normal voice, while my step-mom would scream and belittle and go on and on and on - making it so you didn't have to strain to hear and you knew exactly what the fight was about even though it was loudly one-sided. However, if my dad got REALLY pissed off, he'd scream his head off and stand on his tip toes. My dad's a big guy. 6'2" and around 250. I don't know why he felt the need to do that. I guess it made him feel taller. Or something.
If the fight was really bad, he'd take my sister and I, and leave. One time, my step-mom got so angry she threw an adding machine at my dad's foot. It landed on his big toe, and he limped out of the house, my sister and I on either side of him.
God help me if I ever wake up and discover I've become my stepmother. If that ever happened, I'd apologize profusely to whoever I was with and set them up with someone else right away. So, really, marriage for me doesn't look appealing. Don't suggest that to me as an option, especially after a fight. Please? I beg you. When I'm ready to marry, I will.
User Reviews
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-05-25 22:08:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You'll be the type of woman who doesn't marry til she's 40 then complains she can't bear children.
That's my prediciton anyway.
Buggered if i know what to do in your situation.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-05-25 20:50:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Maybe high-maintenance wasn't the right word. Acutely sensitive maybe? Anyway, no offense
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-05-25 17:56:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sounds like a relationship that is past it's expiration date. You should throw it out before it starts to get smelly.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-05-25 17:45:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"he starts to tell me that he only sees us as long-term, and he wouldn't want to be with me in the first place if I wasn't someone he saw himself marrying."
______________
"awww, that was just pillow talk, baby"
-Ash
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-05-25 16:16:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The biggest problem with living with your boyfriend is..............dating and bringing back another guy to your "pad"
Submitted by girlintheworld (user info) at 2005-05-25 16:00:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow. I've never had anyone call me high-maintenance. Probably because I'm not. I'm pretty easy to get along with.
All of the fighting started due to the fact that on the day we moved in, he told a neighbor we knew that the reason we were only staying for the summer was because "If things don't work out with her, I don't want to be stuck."
Logical? Absolutely. I wouldn't want to be in an apartment with someone I broke up with either.
Saying it right in front of me and referring to me as "her" when I, in fact, do have a name? Not so great.
It made me feel uneasy.
Maybe that would be classified as being high-maintenance. You decide for me. :)
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-05-25 15:38:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It doesn't appear to be working out. Methinks you are a little high-maintenance and your boyfriend does not seem to be willing to cater.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-05-25 15:38:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds to me that you moved in with him to get away from your family. Also, giving the cold shoulder/silent treatment is a deathblow to a relationship - poor communication, if you know what I mean.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-05-25 15:36:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, a guy saying "I see you as someone I could marry"? That has to be a first.
But I have to agree with you completely (except in my case with women). I date someone and spend time with them because I want to and I enjoy their company and all that happy horseshit. I've had girls break up with me saying "you're not someone I could marry," and I don't ever recall asking.
Submitted by girlintheworld (user info) at 2005-05-25 15:21:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-25 15:13:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Considering that this is Uber, you left out the most important part of your relationship discussion that people will want to hear...namely, the 'fucking' part.
How is that going?
If it's not, and your boyfriend still wants to marry you, I have bad news - he has the ghey.
-------
OH. Like I'm really gonna put my personal life on Uber for all to see. Yeah right. (It's good, thanks for asking.)
Although sometimes I think he yearns to be metrosexual.
Submitted by Mr-Boo (user info) at 2005-05-25 15:19:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was in a few of these relationships. If you aren't happy, get the fuck out because it only gets harder to leave as time passes.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-25 15:13:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Considering that this is Uber, you left out the most important part of your relationship discussion that people will want to hear...namely, the 'fucking' part.
How is that going?
If it's not, and your boyfriend still wants to marry you, I have bad news - he has the ghey.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-05-25 15:12:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're young! You're stupid!
Oh wait...you already said that.
Oh well, at least you're not knocked up and looking all dreamy-eyed at this relationship.
Good luck.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-05-25 15:09:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I think you suffer from the "A" factor more....
asshole.
Submitted by girlintheworld (user info) at 2005-05-25 15:00:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-05-25 14:57:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
no offense hun, of course, but i stand by Adam Carolla's rule that if someone calls the cops more than twice in their life, they get a bullet in the head.
_____________
hahaha. Damn a lot of people would die. Thats not funny. HAHAHAHAHA.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-05-25 14:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no offense hun, of course, but i stand by Adam Carolla's rule that if someone calls the cops more than twice in their life, they get a bullet in the head.
Submitted by Crudite (user info) at 2005-05-25 14:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just lie down on the leather couch and tell me all about it.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-05-25 14:43:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
White trash romance at it's finest.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-05-25 14:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
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Bart: What religion are you?
Homer: You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't
work out in real life, uh, Christianity.
Homerpalooza