As Seen on TV...Yippe! (432 hits)
Category: Movies & TVRating: 1.25 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by RkaDk2 (View user info) at 2005-05-26 09:44:36 EDT
As a fat, stupid, lazy, and insert negative adjective here, American, I enjoy two things immensely: TV and conspicuous consumption. Many a night I have watched infomercial icons like Willie Meyes-Heyes (or whatever the fuck his name is, he's the Oxy-Clean guy), Chef Tony, and Ron Popiel peddle gadgetry too revolutionary to sell in stores. I have bought many of these things, and I have been burned more often than not.
List Post Thursday, eh? Here, have a list:
The Ding King: Glue on the pad with the supplied adhesive, turn the knob, and the dent disappears.
They should have called this piece of shit the Ding Jester: It's a fucking joke. I got Burned!
The Sit and Spin: <-Forgot actual name. Knock-off Tupperware that comes with a space saving caddy. This works pretty good.
The Buttoneer: Reattaching buttons is supposed to be easier and safer with the Buttoneer. Puncture wounds: 6. Buttons successfully attached: 0. I got burned again.
The Miracle Blade II: I was sucked in by "Miracle". I figured that if god makes miracles, and these blades are miraculous, then they must be god's gift to the world of cutlery. When they arrived, however, I saw CHINA stamped in the blade. Those heathen Chinese don't believe in god, so they can't make miracles. These knives are mediocre at best.
The Ronco Show time rotisserie: "Set it and forget it". I set it. I forgot it. For 41 hours. It broke, and the chicken was so hard the "Miracle" blade couldn't cut through it. I set it again (in the dumpster) and had forgotten about it until now.
There are others, but these aren't as funny as I thought they would be.
User Reviews
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-05-26 10:01:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-05-26 09:54:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ron Popeil has an invention called the dent saver. Have you seen this fucking joke? It is an inflatatble pool raft that you hang from the ceiling in between two cars, the theory is it will not allow you to slam your door into the other car in the garage. I laughed at this even as a youngster - The pet rock doesn't seem so stupid anymore
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I cannot even begin to comprehend how that would work.
Submitted by paxlaurien (user info) at 2005-05-26 09:57:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm with ya on this, 'ceptin one thing - the rotisserie R0x0rs!
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-05-26 09:54:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ron Popeil has an invention called the dent saver. Have you seen this fucking joke? It is an inflatatble pool raft that you hang from the ceiling in between two cars, the theory is it will not allow you to slam your door into the other car in the garage. I laughed at this even as a youngster - The pet rock doesn't seem so stupid anymore
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-05-26 09:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
After I got my wisdom teeth pulled, when I was shwilled out on painkillers, I laid in my bed and watched the entire Oxi-Clean infomercial starring Billy Mays. All 2 hours of it. I never wanted to kick somebody in the face so bad in my life.