Steve’s Badass Babysitting Service: I Promise Your Kids Won’t Die! (37032 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: b.at.w
Rating: 1.92 on 152 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Steve's House of UberPancake! Madness (View user info) at 2005-05-26 17:38:51 EDT
Kids love me. I don't mind kids. When they run straight into me and smash my balls with their little fists, then I hate kids. Little shitboxes...
Anyhow, for a measly $20 a night (or less if you buy me a big sandwich), I'll watch your kids. That's right. All you have to do is pick me up at the beginning of the night and then drive me home. I promise no awkward sexual tension, like with female babysitters. I also promise no annoying chatter, like with female babysitters. I also promise not to scream...like the female babysitters!
Because I have the mind of a 12-year-old, the body of an 18-year-old and the haircut of a 45-year-old, I'm simply too much awesome to contain in a single human body. I periodically explode. And we all know kids love explosions!
Oh, don't fret mom and dad. I have tons of experience. I'm the oldest kid in my family. I spent many years making my sister cry and then trying to make her laugh again before mom and dad found out. I was in charge of the younglings in my Tae Kwon Do class. I only kicked two of them in the face. One was even by accident!
Here's an exciting breakdown of my name to show you I am the coolest babysitter since Arnold in Kindergarten Cop. Hey, if your kids are lucky I might bring my special edition DVD of that movie. It's not a tumah! Word, Arnold. Word....
S - S is for safety. I always insist the kids wear their seatbelts when I'm taking your van for a joyride down to the Dairy Queen. Hell, I'll even take the neighbour kids too. If there aren't enough seatbelts, I'll make sure they hold on tightly or tether themselves to the other kids with a skipping rope.
I promise to only put myself in harm's way. If a Frisbee ends up on the roof, I'll be the one to go get it. If we get curious about where the hatch in the ceiling leads to, I promise I'll be the one to climb on top of the stack of phonebooks and stools to reach it. Your kids will learn to call the fire department with me around and you can never learn that soon enough.
T - T is for teaching. I'll do your children's homework. But we'll learn about sharing while I'm doing it. For every question little Johnny does, I'll do two. See? He'll be learning while I carefully duplicate his retarded scribble so the teachers don't suspect anything. I have the skills of a Russian spy when it comes to copying kids' handwriting.
I'll also teach your kids about things like wrestling, swearing and how to throw things in the house without breaking shit. We only light fires for science. We only practice DDTs and power bombs on the safety of the bed. Those teeth marks on your son's back aren't mine, I promise. He's the one that wanted to find out what a pedigree feels like, honest.
E - E is for environment. I'll show your kid the beauty of nature and how to pick up worthless shit we find in the woods and bring it home. You never know when an old, dirty jug might come in handy. And I promise we'll only visit the animal graveyard behind my house every other day. There's only new things every second day and the same skulls get boring to kick around. We'll also learn about things like tetanus shots, ticks, the Hanta virus and why you shouldn't throw rocks at hornet nests!
V - V is for...very awesome? I don't know many words that start with V...
E - E is for everything. I'm everything a kid could want. I'll chase them until I'm ready to die. I'll have races with the little brats and win every time. No fucking kid is going to beat me. I'll fall down a hill just to stop them from crying. I'm a good cook when it comes to things like rice and soup. Even soup is a stretch. Hell, I'll just let them each ice cream while I make myself a big sandwich. Ice cream is a food group.
So if you're sick of your kids getting kidnapped and molested by the neighbourhood pedophile, give me a call. I'm cheap and easy like the whore down the street, but 100% STD free. But don't let me tell you about how great I am. Read these official testimonials and decide for yourself who should be guarding your offspring - me or some one else!
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-05-31 20:03:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by blonde (user info) at 2007-05-31 19:48:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I had kids, I'd let you babysit them.
Submitted by compEngineer0 (user info) at 2006-08-09 10:45:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-24 03:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MJ for president
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-05-29 23:35:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THROWBACK!!!!!!
Submitted by frankyfizzle (user info) at 2006-03-22 20:01:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2006-03-22 19:32:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-08-26 17:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by hael (user info) at 2005-08-23 22:22:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
made me yawn
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-08-10 20:46:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
laquisha looks frightening.
Submitted by Jasper_the_Geriatric (user info) at 2005-08-10 20:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Please come watch my kids sometime.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-06-17 11:50:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
retard scribble! ha!
this post kicks its own ass!
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-06-09 18:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Never Enough. -NIN
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-06-09 17:41:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
perty dern funny
Submitted by Harry_Manback (user info) at 2005-06-09 16:39:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I spent many years making my sister cry and then trying to make her laugh again before mom and dad found out."
+2 for this line alone.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-09 12:44:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this only had 5000 hits 3 hours ago?
WHAT IS HAPPENING!??
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-06-08 18:57:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dangit, why'd you have to ruin the +2 streak?
But your affection has been noted.
Remember, vote Steve into UberMadness.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-06-08 12:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I love you, Stevie.
also...
Submitted by Hands_Rambone (user info) at 2005-05-26 19:46:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-05-26 18:48:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
If you dont make Ubermadness, it'll be because someone less talented is popular.
------------
Don't worry me and my gang of idiots will get him in.
You hear that gang.
Probably not since you're all a bunch of booze loving, dope heads.
---
I am not.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-06-08 11:59:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy crap.
That "Randy" kid looks just like stupid Jon Paul, only younger (picture: http://www.ubersite.com/m/60888).
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2005-06-08 01:16:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shamone.
grats on B@W
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-06-07 15:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Eeeee! Michael reviewed my post!
Shamone, Michael. Stay strong.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-06-07 10:19:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey! That's me!
Shamone!
A truer word has never been spoken!
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-06-07 03:56:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Remember Steve when it comes to casting YOUR VOTE for UberMadness.
Submitted by Jutsin (user info) at 2005-06-07 03:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad as fuck I took the time to actually read all this.
I think "All that shit was broken when you left." and "... how to throw things in the house without breaking shit." did it for me.
Submitted by pushedbyboredom (user info) at 2005-06-06 12:15:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was thinking of a +1 regardless of all the 2s and the popularity of this post but then the Steve: "All that shit was broken" line made me shit straight up and it hit me in the face and I always wanted to do that so....+2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-06-06 09:36:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh, DOS realized the popularity of the post and that he better add a +2 to not seem out of the loop.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-06 06:26:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yet later...
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-06-01 17:26:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
solid gold.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-06 05:45:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The first review is the only one not to be a +2.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-06-05 21:40:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The pictures sealed the deal.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-06-05 00:28:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-06-04 17:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
damn talented people, always getting rewarded for their good work. how unfair.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-06-04 16:18:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love the fourth picture down.
HAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-04 01:29:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how did a post with Über related content ever get on B@W?
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-06-03 16:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Man was this a good idea...
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-06-03 07:54:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Working on whatever it was that you said since last week" Excellent.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-03 07:30:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just saw this at the top of B@W. Jebus, you're on a roll.
Submitted by SharkBait (user info) at 2005-06-02 16:35:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Makes me want to have kids just so you can babysit them...
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-06-02 16:13:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What you lookin' at, nigga?
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-06-02 00:47:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd hire you! You sound fun and a breathe of fresh air. Just be warned... this is how I treat the kids already, so they are ready and waiting. They can kick some major ass!
Submitted by Gizmo (user info) at 2005-06-01 23:15:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-06-01 20:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All dat shit wuz brokd when youz left.
I mean.. what you said
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-06-01 20:24:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was wondering where all the hits were coming from....
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-06-01 20:23:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
B@W TRIFECTA!!!!!
DUN DUN DUND DUNDDUDNDUUDNDNUDUUND!!!!!
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-06-01 17:26:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
solid gold.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-06-01 16:52:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
On second thought, we'll have an alliance post AFTER the sign-up deadline is over. That way, we know who our candidates are.
NOT THAT ANYONE CARES. LA LA LA LA
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-06-01 15:48:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jay, I'll post something today and we'll see if we can wrangle us up some sheep...
And by sheep I mean high quality, intelligent people.
Yeah. That's right.
The Ubersite middle class...UNITE!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-06-01 15:46:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Steve, if I vote for you, you'll have 20 or 30 people vote for me, right?
Right?
Hello?
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-06-01 15:27:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You better stay funny in UM and you'll have my vote!
"working to get Steve into UberMadness since last week"
HAHA!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-06-01 15:25:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
just so you have 104 reviews.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-01 15:09:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Quite decent.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-05-31 16:23:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-31 14:46:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Even reviews...everything must be even...
- - -
Was this some Zen double-entendre or something?
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-05-31 15:49:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another post that just wouldn't be the same with out the pictures....nice work
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-31 14:46:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Even reviews...everything must be even...
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-05-31 10:37:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THIS WAS AWESOME!
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-05-31 09:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah!
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-05-31 08:55:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Kids love me. I don't mind kids. When they run straight into me and smash my balls with their little fists, then I hate kids. Little shitboxes... "
I'm already in tears.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-31 08:40:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love the look on the kid's face saying "Steve taught me how to clean my own wounds".
The fact the kid is accepting the fact that he was getting wounded in the first place, plus the plural thrown in, makes it great subtle humour. I love this every time I revisit it.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-31 08:15:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-05-31 01:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great post .
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-31 01:22:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Steve's Badass Babysitting Service: I Promise Your Kids Won't Die! (1234 hits)
Hahaha...the hits number made me laugh.
I am teh lame.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-05-30 23:11:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell yes. +2, move along.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2005-05-30 22:35:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by transhuman (user info) at 2005-05-30 22:30:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
great!
Submitted by PeanutButterJellyTime (user info) at 2005-05-30 21:33:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You never cease to amaze me, Oh Great Steve. Your the Best.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-30 21:02:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
He only said he would be gone for a minute....
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-05-30 20:57:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"All that shit was broken when you left!"
Did Bart get you to babysit Uber? Is that what happened?
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-05-30 19:32:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was hilarious.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-30 18:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-29 03:20:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Will you do me one tiny favor? at some point?
Will you change your posting name to Scuba Steve? Just once?
So I can say "damn you Scuba Steve!"
--
Scuba Steve's House of Fishsticks and Crabcakes
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-05-30 18:10:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-30 15:05:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahaha this is on Most Heated. It took Uber crashing to bring this to Most Heated.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-29 03:20:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Will you do me one tiny favor? at some point?
Will you change your posting name to Scuba Steve? Just once?
So I can say "damn you Scuba Steve!"
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-29 02:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you. are. too. fucking. funny.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-29 02:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Here's an exciting breakdown of my name to show you I am the coolest babysitter since Arnold in Kindergarten Cop. "
IT'S NAT A TUMAH!
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-28 16:45:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BRAIIINNSSSSSS
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-27 20:53:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-05-27 19:55:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Get back doing De Integro!
---
I'll have a short chapter up sometime this weekend.
I have a massive chapter written up, but I need to add a shorter one before that to bridge the previous chapter to it and to add more character development.
...not that I think about that thing all the time...
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-05-27 20:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Knees and shins
Bees and Pins
I ask me momma
Where you beens?
-Shaqspeare
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-05-27 19:55:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Get back doing De Integro!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-05-27 19:31:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No such thing as too much steve, unlike pancakes where by the end you're sick of them.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-27 14:22:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck. If I could use any of my posts as a template of 'How To Post Pure Awesomeness' this would be it.
I'm lucky I'm going to be away from the computer this weekend - too much Steve over the past few days...
Submitted by blank_mind (user info) at 2005-05-27 14:08:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome
Submitted by clumeister (user info) at 2005-05-27 13:23:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's some funny shit, man...
+2 to you!
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2005-05-27 13:20:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That post made me burst out laughing a few times. Star Wars kid. Michael Jackson. Funny shit.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-05-27 13:19:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So many levels of awesome.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-27 13:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-05-27 08:20:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
You available this weekend?
---
Nope. I have to babysit a bunch of high school kids on the eve of their graduation.
I plan on throwing up in some grass at the end of the night.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-05-27 08:34:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SHAMONE!!!!!
AHAHAHAHHAHA
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-05-27 08:20:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You available this weekend?
Submitted by BigCore (user info) at 2005-05-27 08:10:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking...awesome.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-27 06:58:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-27 04:39:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
The whole point of an alliance is to, in the end, stab everyone in the back and try to walk out with less blood on your hands than everyone else. Unless you can't bleed. And if you can't bleed, then your shit is fucked.
--------------
Well in that case, consider me joined buddy!....
I will fucking kill you
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-27 06:48:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W already
Hurry up Bartbart
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-05-27 06:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Double gold man. congrates.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-05-27 06:25:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is fucking beyond gold.
Submitted by XII (user info) at 2005-05-27 05:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
plus two
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-27 04:39:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The whole point of an alliance is to, in the end, stab everyone in the back and try to walk out with less blood on your hands than everyone else. Unless you can't bleed. And if you can't bleed, then your shit is fucked.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-27 04:30:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I'm starting to think he doesn't own his own pancake house" Beautiful.
With regard to Ubermadness I'll join your alliance!
...Then I'll stab you in the back when no one else is around bumping you off one by one like some sadistic psy... wait, are you still reading this?
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-05-27 04:26:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your way with children is one for commendation and applause.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-27 04:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what you lookin at, nigka@
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-27 04:08:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Or_ (user info) at 2005-05-27 01:38:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor Jake. That movie completely ruined his career.
Yeah, he was on the up after 'Jingle all the Way.'
...fuck I hate that kid.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-27 02:30:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wanted to put an Uber users picture in with the testimonials. I'm so glad I didn't. It wouldn't have been as funny.
Dammit. It's almost June. WTF?
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2005-05-27 02:29:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was great. When I have to babysit I just turn on the ol' TV. Luckily I have nothing but porn and fetish channels. After the crying the children are captivated.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-27 01:44:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus Christ Steve.
Submitted by Or_ (user info) at 2005-05-27 01:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor Jake. That movie completely ruined his career.
Submitted by tehgareh (user info) at 2005-05-27 01:35:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
whatchu lookin at nigga hahahaha
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-05-27 01:34:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thats a scream ,go steve go.
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2005-05-27 01:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@Muthaeffing W
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-05-26 23:50:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm with you Steve!
Hi fellow AAA'ers... My name is Crystal - and I'm addicted..
OH, wait..that's AA not AAA - my bad. Carry on.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-26 23:21:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If Ubersite were a company, I'd like to head the daycare just so I could make crafts all day long and steal juice boxes.
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2005-05-26 22:42:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-26 22:34:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah. Words suck.
It would be awesome to have a tight group of people voting for each other. It will be the Ubersite Middle class, fighting for a ticket in. It's hard to gain any sort of firm hold on this place if you're not a hitwhore or don't piss everybody off every other week. Some people don't post all that often, but are out reviewing things - keeping Uber alive.
We need the lifeblood of Uber to have voices in this competition
Right now it's me and J. And my dad. But he doesn't count.
WHO'S WITH ME???
PS: I'm not a communist.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-05-26 22:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What about the Awesome Alliance of Axises...
Or is it Axees...
I don't know...
Or the Awesome Axis Alliance, so we can skip that little word problem thingie...
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-26 22:10:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...then again, maybe I should stick to getting my own sorry ass into UberMadness before worrying about others.
Man. I wouldn't be on here so much if I had some work to do....
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-26 21:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We can use our powers for good, or for evil.
I wonder if you're allowed to vote more than once for some one...and if you can vote for yourself...hmmm....
I think Alliance Axis of Awesome is a good name.
GO AAA WOOOOOO!!!!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-05-26 21:45:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd gladly be a part of an alliance to get myself into UberMadness...
*whisper* *whisper*
*whisper* *whisper* *whisper* *whisper*
*whisper*
*whisper* *whisper*
*whisper* *whisper*
*whisper* *whisper* *whisper*
*whisper*
What? YOu mean I'd have to vote for the other people in the alliance?
*whisper* *whisper*
*whisper*
Well fuck that... I don't want anyone who's any good getting in there...
*whisper* *whisper* *whisper*
FIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE...
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-26 21:37:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Can I make a discount card with your face on it? I promise I'll only use your powers for good....
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-26 21:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've decided that I'm a big fan, for the most part, of whomever the fuck you are.
The Shlongy Seal of Approval is worth a lot, too.
Ask for the discounts you can receive at your neighborhood McDonald's, Jiffy Lubes, whorehouses, etc.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-26 21:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hands_Rambone (user info) at 2005-05-26 21:15:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Steve you have to vote for tinactin or else...........
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Tinactin has one of those usernames that you remember....mostly because I watch a lot of television and "tough actin' tinactin" is stuck in my mind. I think that's what will get you in with newer people or people who aren't here every day - creative name (which I don't have) or a post that sticks in your mind (which I hope I do have by now.)
Hey.....who wants to make a voting alliance? Come on. We can hold hands and sing songs....
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-26 21:18:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Steve was on mine anyway after the Badass Dad Quiz. I personally am going to reserve a couple of votes for people who may not be the absolute best posters but who I still want to be able to compete in the competition, and then use the rest for the people who might have a chance at taking it out.
I'm gonna go make a list now.
Submitted by NocternalDragon (user info) at 2005-05-26 21:17:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, I for one get sick everytime I see a pic of MJ tho, what the fuck was he thinking???
Submitted by Hands_Rambone (user info) at 2005-05-26 21:15:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Steve you have to vote for tinactin or else...........
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-26 21:10:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-05-26 20:54:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-26 20:32:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-26 20:00:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Vote Thorpe 2005 - he's not talented OR popular! He's got it all!
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Thorpster, you're on my list for people I'm going to vote for. I've decided that it will be fifteen votes for users I enjoy and know and five votes for surprise votes for unknowns. If the number of votes I can cast changes, the number for each will change along with it.
And so says the book of Steve.
________________________________________________________________
So let me get this straight. Thorpe is among your 15 favorite posters? This is going to be a popularity contest (meaning I'd have no chance)
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I like Thorpe, don't get me wrong. He doesn't have too much stuff out there, so his chances of getting in are slim too. I'm still making up my mind. He's on the list, but he could still get bumped from the list when I see who's all in running to get in.
There's also a difference between a poster and user. I have my favourite posters and my favourite users. I have inclinations about certain people because I have a feeling about what they'll bring to the competition.
I really have nothing else going on in my life right now, so my obsession with this place is growing stronger by the day. It's fucked up how much I think about all of this shit....
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-05-26 20:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-26 20:32:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-26 20:00:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Vote Thorpe 2005 - he's not talented OR popular! He's got it all!
--
Thorpster, you're on my list for people I'm going to vote for. I've decided that it will be fifteen votes for users I enjoy and know and five votes for surprise votes for unknowns. If the number of votes I can cast changes, the number for each will change along with it.
And so says the book of Steve.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
So let me get this straight. Thorpe is among your 15 favorite posters? This is going to be a popularity contest (meaning I'd have no chance)
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-05-26 20:48:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-05-26 19:47:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
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Again.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-05-26 20:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesomeness.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-26 20:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-26 20:00:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Vote Thorpe 2005 - he's not talented OR popular! He's got it all!
--
Thorpster, you're on my list for people I'm going to vote for. I've decided that it will be fifteen votes for users I enjoy and know and five votes for surprise votes for unknowns. If the number of votes I can cast changes, the number for each will change along with it.
And so says the book of Steve.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-26 20:00:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Vote Thorpe 2005 - he's not talented OR popular! He's got it all!
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-26 19:59:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-05-26 19:38:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Those teeth marks on your son's back aren't mine, I promise."
I choked on my tea. Excellent.
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Honest to God. I slammed him down and we both go flying in opposite directions. I'm clutching my mouth and he's whining about his back.
Then he jumps up and says 'Let's try it again.'
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-05-26 19:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by Hands_Rambone (user info) at 2005-05-26 19:46:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-05-26 18:48:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
If you dont make Ubermadness, it'll be because someone less talented is popular.
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Don't worry me and my gang of idiots will get him in.
You hear that gang.
Probably not since you're all a bunch of booze loving, dope heads.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-26 19:39:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you get another B@W you are one talented motherfucker.
Gotta hand it to you for the Anakin bit though.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-05-26 19:38:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lawuisha hahahaha
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-05-26 19:38:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Those teeth marks on your son's back aren't mine, I promise."
I choked on my tea. Excellent.
Submitted by Kochi (user info) at 2005-05-26 19:33:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2
I LOVE IT!
"All that shit was broken when you left."
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-26 19:28:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tomorrow. I'll be waiting out from of my house with my pink Hello Kitty backpack and my hair in pigtails.
Woot woot.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-05-26 19:26:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the butterfly too, steve
When can you start? - babysitting, that is...
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-05-26 19:23:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W, submitted and P.I.M.P.ed.
Submitted by SammySam (user info) at 2005-05-26 19:19:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-26 19:12:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm going to put my name like that, with that slogan, on the top of my resume. Fuck yeah. THe butterful just tops off the awesomeness.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-05-26 18:53:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W Absolutely excellent.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-05-26 18:48:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you dont make Ubermadness, it'll be because someone less talented is popular.
Submitted by Snypavat (user info) at 2005-05-26 18:46:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-26 18:34:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was playing football in the house with this kid once. His mom had all these fancy glasses on display on this shelf in the living room.
Needless to say, the cat did it.
Submitted by Haggard (user info) at 2005-05-26 18:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kids do love explosions.
Submitted by MrCoffee (user info) at 2005-05-26 18:22:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"all that shit was broken when you left"
Gold
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2005-05-26 18:12:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy fuckmyass...... I laughed.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-26 18:11:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I like the butterflies.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-05-26 18:09:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think we all know steve will get an automatic in. I mean remember that the 32 write ins don't include people who made last years final 16.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-26 17:58:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ha ha shamone!
Submitted by runswithscissors (user info) at 2005-05-26 17:58:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I love Steve. And golf balls."
hee hee hee
Submitted by Hands_Rambone (user info) at 2005-05-26 17:58:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post may have saved your dad post.
Awesome work.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-26 17:57:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you should be a mortal lock for UberMadness. faces are rocked off in your glorious presence.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-05-26 17:54:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahah you are wasted here.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-05-26 17:48:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-05-26 17:41:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"you dont need a license to drive a sandwich"