Try This (1420 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Untruth
Rating: 1.49 on 53 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Snark << snarkk.at.gmail.com (View user info) at 2005-05-28 04:28:23 EDT
TRY THIS
You ever stop and take a good look at yourself?
I just did and I don't recommend it.
It really doesn't feel all that good.
Think I'm full of shit?
Take another look bitch.
Look deep. Look hard.
Look past your precious fucking pretensions. Look past your favorite shirt and the person you want to be. That fucker is an illusion. He only exists to you. Everyone else sees you as you really are. The ones that don't like you anymore looked to deep. They saw you to the muddy dark core of who you are.
They saw you and they turned away in disgust.
Don't take it personally.
One day they'll see themselves and they'll do the same. They'll cringe and then they'll forget and join us in the wonderful playground of self denial we all live in.
They'll look hard and deep and then they'll turn away from themselves and finish their Big Mac.
Goddamn us all.
Here's a fucking challenge.
Something I've never seen on Ubersite.
Find something beautiful fuckers.
Find something life affirming.
I dare you.
Fuck Uber hate and Uber sex and Uber "Hey guess what happened to me when I was in school!"
Fuck Uber bitching and Uber whoring and Uber 13 year olds and all the inane shit in between.
Fuck that and fuck you and try this.
Show yourselves a tiny bit of light in this pen of filth.
Scour the depths of Uber for something good and pure and untouched by the scum of humanity, then rub it in my face.
Link it and -2 me and say "HA! There you go Cockmonkey!"
I beg you.
I could really fucking use it right now.
Peace.
SNARK
User Reviews
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-19 20:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for Snark and Bickerstaff
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-12-22 19:12:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bickerstaff (user info) at 2005-05-28 14:37:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
It's that feeling you get right before last call, right?
That feverish longing, the impending sound of the door clicking
locked behind you as you stumble out, heading home more out of habit
than anything else.
You can feel the heat on the back of your neck right before last call:
the sour warmth of bad decisions made in the hours long after midnight burning
your skin like a June day spent hungover in Tompkins Square, the tuberculosis old men
hacking out their depravity on the steps of Astor Place.
I fucking hate last call and make no mistake, brother: the invention of a financier
who covets the tanned shoulders of the West Village hustlers, but never partakes.
It's the deception of the night that's so treacherous,
the pernicious trick of fooling us into thinking that we could actually escape.
But we never do, right? Last call sends us
right the fuck back into our lives, more scarred and sorry than we were before.
But one of these days she'll be there, and she'll spill across you like the sun through
a faceted window. And she'll make you forget.
=============================================
I think I would want the girl that would make me remember. Take that any way you'd like.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-12-22 19:03:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/65007
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-09-10 05:39:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-06-23 12:07:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damage Control
Submitted by ProgramGeek (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:33:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-06-03 02:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Try this: http://www.ubersite.com/m/63485
Thanks for the factual input on my K.H. post. Like yourself, I can write/type a +2 post any day of the week. The K.H. post is designed to piss people off. It's facetious and sly. The net result is that people like you and satchel and others called "bullshit". In the process a lot of people are being forced to examine their position and beliefs. I'll come out with an explanation like this on the post when the time comes. In the meantime, let the others learn more about who Karla is and what she did. That's the best I can do for now. Thank you - sincerely.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-31 20:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-05-31 20:19:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-31 17:24:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
You rue and lament and wail, scream, and cry out for refuge from such a tortured existence as is yours.
=============
Hehehe
I was in a bad mood and vented. I wouldn't read much more into this than that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, this is why Ubersite is so damn cool.
====================
I agree and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I really didn't expect anyone to take this so seriously, and I'm astounded at the attention it recieved.
I pretty much expected a few -2's and some "Quit your bitchin"
How I really percieve this site is reflected here http://www.ubersite.com/m/67048
I should be ashamed I posted this but I'm not.
This has recieved some of the most thought provoking reviews I've ever got... hell, the response from Bickerstaff alone made this worthwhile.
Live and learn I guess.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-05-31 20:19:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-31 17:24:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
You rue and lament and wail, scream, and cry out for refuge from such a tortured existence as is yours.
=============
Hehehe
I was in a bad mood and vented. I wouldn't read much more into this than that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, this is why Ubersite is so damn cool.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-31 17:24:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You rue and lament and wail, scream, and cry out for refuge from such a tortured existence as is yours.
=============
Hehehe
I was in a bad mood and vented. I wouldn't read much more into this than that.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-31 17:16:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would, but this is kind of a dumping ground for me. All of my beautiful things go to my wife. Good luck with the search. Perhaps a name change to something more fitting? Percival perhaps?
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-05-31 17:14:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-05-31 17:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I looked in the mirror and saw a handsome man, one that was really sexy. Then I started touching myself. Then I went in to the stall and unzipped my pants. A few minutes later, I left the bathroom with a smile. Now what?
Submitted by Xena (user info) at 2005-05-31 16:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
surprisingly, I don't hate this as much as I was expecting to...
"you take that back!!"
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-05-31 05:12:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and incidentally- I did try what you asked for and looked in the mirror.
I saw an arrogant, short, aging little man who (to date) hasn't contributed anything worthwhile to human existence. Ten thousand years after he dies, the world will go on turning without ever remembering his name- the good, the bad, the ugly or how he spent his days immersed in metaphorically masturbative activities like going to the movies, to parties, to school, to work and to a girl's house for a cheap glass of champagne and a quick lay without ever bettering the world in a significant enough way that it will be recognized or remembered after his immediate friends and family have passed on.
And you know what?
A total lack of responsibility to the universe at large can feel pretty fucking great.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-05-31 05:03:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Allow me to expose you to all that is pure and righteous in this world:
http://www.ubersite.com/
It's not that there are not impure people who visit the site.
It's not that the posts on the site are themselves elegant, or beautiful, or profound in such a way that they strike deep into your soul and cause you to contemplate or understand the purpose for your existence. (Well, save for every serious-oriented JMG post.)
It's not even that Bart Cilfone or JMG or Razor or anybody here is an astounding genius who has gifted us with their illuminations or the space in which to share our own revelations.
It is that Ubersite represents all that is privilege and luxury in the world.
If you have Ubersite, you inherently have the luxury of the Internet. Moreover, 99.999% of the people accessing Ubersite not only do so through the Internet- but through a computer in their own home.
Their own computer. In their own home. Maybe they don't own either of them, but their family does, or they have the privilege to utilize the space as if it were their own by paying monthly rent or whatever.
Running water. A stomach full of hot pockets or cheetos or Ben and Jerry's ice cream, or whatever your fancy may be. Toilets that make your poop magically go away to a place you never have to go, much less have to clean. This is your life. These are your privileges. This is what is worth living for.
You rue and lament and wail, scream, and cry out for refuge from such a tortured existence as is yours.
Try living a day in the life of the fifteen year old boy I saw on the side of the street two days ago, wheeling his way to the grocer's to pick up food- presumably for a family too busy or too disciplined to lower the expectations of the child simply because he had such an affliction. The boy who will never run, walk or even stand alone again in his life- who will never enjoy a good fuck or even the simple joy of swimming in the ocean all because God spat in his eye.
You have it so damn bad. And yet one of the greatest gifts of all is the freedom you have to come onto this website and vomit onto the Internet your pitiful, self-indulgent cries for liberation from a cushioned existence in a civilized nation where you don't shit, wash your clothes and cook dinner from the same water source every day.
Moreover, not only do we all have the freedom to do it- we have the privilege of the free time to invest in such a luxury.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-31 04:19:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by okokididitbutiwasdrunk (user info) at 2005-05-30 22:33:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
You suck dog shit.
============
Naw, I chew it
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-05-30 22:57:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'Kids', motherfucker - life affirming, and beautiful. Well, mine are..
http://www.ubersite.com/m/65825 - cockmonkey. ;)
Submitted by okokididitbutiwasdrunk (user info) at 2005-05-30 22:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You suck dog shit.
Submitted by Rocktsrgn (user info) at 2005-05-30 22:15:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-29 00:16:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bickerstaff (user info) at 2005-05-28 14:37:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
It's that feeling you get right before last call, right?
That feverish longing, the impending sound of the door clicking
locked behind you as you stumble out, heading home more out of habit
than anything else.
You can feel the heat on the back of your neck right before last call:
the sour warmth of bad decisions made in the hours long after midnight burning
your skin like a June day spent hungover in Tompkins Square, the tuberculosis old men
hacking out their depravity on the steps of Astor Place.
I fucking hate last call and make no mistake, brother: the invention of a financier
who covets the tanned shoulders of the West Village hustlers, but never partakes.
It's the deception of the night that's so treacherous,
the pernicious trick of fooling us into thinking that we could actually escape.
But we never do, right? Last call sends us
right the fuck back into our lives, more scarred and sorry than we were before.
But one of these days she'll be there, and she'll spill across you like the sun through
a faceted window. And she'll make you forget.
=========================
You are the warrior poet of ubersite.
___________
I swear to God, between the two of you, I'm in complete awe.
And Snark, when you look, make sure that you look all the way, and see both sides. It's easy to see only one side at a time, but that's not real either.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-30 14:40:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about JHoersten2
User id: 18752
Registered on or around: 2005-05-07 22:21:28
# Messages posted: 4
# Reviews written: 18
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 53
# Hits: 1630
Average rating of all messages: -0.39
nuff said
Submitted by JHoersten2 (user info) at 2005-05-30 12:50:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
dont like the people bitching?
wow, we dont like yours either.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-05-29 01:20:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I actually like myself quite a lot.
Submitted by tehgareh (user info) at 2005-05-29 01:17:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sweet +2 rockz0rz
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-29 01:03:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We're all different yet we are all very much the same.
Now, take a step back from the darkness and write something...
hopeful. I'd like to see that from you.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-29 00:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bickerstaff (user info) at 2005-05-28 14:37:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
It's that feeling you get right before last call, right?
That feverish longing, the impending sound of the door clicking
locked behind you as you stumble out, heading home more out of habit
than anything else.
You can feel the heat on the back of your neck right before last call:
the sour warmth of bad decisions made in the hours long after midnight burning
your skin like a June day spent hungover in Tompkins Square, the tuberculosis old men
hacking out their depravity on the steps of Astor Place.
I fucking hate last call and make no mistake, brother: the invention of a financier
who covets the tanned shoulders of the West Village hustlers, but never partakes.
It's the deception of the night that's so treacherous,
the pernicious trick of fooling us into thinking that we could actually escape.
But we never do, right? Last call sends us
right the fuck back into our lives, more scarred and sorry than we were before.
But one of these days she'll be there, and she'll spill across you like the sun through
a faceted window. And she'll make you forget.
=========================
You are the warrior poet of ubersite.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-05-28 23:34:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sometimes the mirror isn't kind, but the real reflection, the real image of a person is in action.
After I took my first crap of the day this morning (action) I stood up and looked in the mirror (action) and actually thought I had lost a few pounds. I smiled (action).
See? It's all in the action.
In all seriousness though, I find with me that it's either people run away because of how I lok, or they stick around because of, well I don't really know why they stick around. Sometimes they just do.
I have absolutely no idea where I'm going with this but, here read this post. it's about two people who haven't really seen each other in a very long time, and what happens when they finally decide to take another look.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/46564
Oh, and send me a preliminary outline if you want to. I'm in the mood.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-05-28 23:07:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44087
HA! There you go Cockmonkey.
i feel better when i think about things like this.
Submitted by Snypavat (user info) at 2005-05-28 23:02:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I actually really liked this....looking at yourself in a mirror is suprising at times. You are nothing of what you picture yourself to be... I understand completley.
Good post.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-05-28 22:49:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63890
I think that's the only pure thing in life.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-05-28 22:15:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You've already read it, but here ya go http://www.ubersite.com/m/65809
Come down to AZ, we'll have a beer bro.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-05-28 19:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's something life-affirming: turn off your computer, go outside and look at birds.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-05-28 18:46:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You all rock beyond words.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-05-28 15:04:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-05-28 12:15:19 (#)
Ranking: 1
See now, this is dangerous; I live my life introspectively every single day, and it sets me further apart from society than if I were to walk around in denial, as mentioned in your post. Both have pros and cons. At the end of teh day, however, I sleep better.
Halting this introspection on my part would most likely result in jail, insanity or death; it would be EASY to turn back into a cocaine powered juggernaut of misery and destruction. But now I have a wife & kids, and I'd be killing off a lot more than my own spirit if I did.
I don't lie, cheat, steal or fuck people over anymore. Now, I wait for the rest of teh world to catch up.
------------------------------------------------------
I don't know which I relate to more--this post or that review.
Submitted by Bickerstaff (user info) at 2005-05-28 14:37:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's that feeling you get right before last call, right?
That feverish longing, the impending sound of the door clicking
locked behind you as you stumble out, heading home more out of habit
than anything else.
You can feel the heat on the back of your neck right before last call:
the sour warmth of bad decisions made in the hours long after midnight burning
your skin like a June day spent hungover in Tompkins Square, the tuberculosis old men
hacking out their depravity on the steps of Astor Place.
I fucking hate last call and make no mistake, brother: the invention of a financier
who covets the tanned shoulders of the West Village hustlers, but never partakes.
It's the deception of the night that's so treacherous,
the pernicious trick of fooling us into thinking that we could actually escape.
But we never do, right? Last call sends us
right the fuck back into our lives, more scarred and sorry than we were before.
But one of these days she'll be there, and she'll spill across you like the sun through
a faceted window. And she'll make you forget.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-05-28 14:00:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
know what you mean.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-05-28 12:17:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh, and your post you wanted; http://www.ubersite.com/m/55216
lighten up!
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-05-28 12:15:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
See now, this is dangerous; I live my life introspectively every single day, and it sets me further apart from society than if I were to walk around in denial, as mentioned in your post. Both have pros and cons. At the end of teh day, however, I sleep better.
Halting this introspection on my part would most likely result in jail, insanity or death; it would be EASY to turn back into a cocaine powered juggernaut of misery and destruction. But now I have a wife & kids, and I'd be killing off a lot more than my own spirit if I did.
I don't lie, cheat, steal or fuck people over anymore. Now, I wait for the rest of teh world to catch up.
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2005-05-28 09:51:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I said I'd be back and I am:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/66197
I kept clicking on posts I'd marked and they belonged to you. Reading my comments it becomes quite clear that you only have to look as far as your own writing to find beauty on this site:
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2005-05-09 09:32:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
This makes me sad. Well, I am sad, so I guess it just amplifies it. But beyond sad, this is beautiful and so are you.
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2005-05-25 07:02:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you. Not only was your post beautifully written, but then you linked so many insane posts that I'd never seen before. I loved them, they were thought provoking, insightful, touching, funny, silly, crazy, intense. Thanks.
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2005-05-28 05:10:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
I've got goosebumps. You are such a beautiful soul.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-05-28 09:41:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well shit. I f'd up your rating. I know that's not why you posted this, but sorry anyway.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-05-28 09:40:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/66751
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-05-28 09:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude. Having a rough day?
Man, we all get to the point where we just can't stand ourselves. We all take a look at the world and see all the terrible things in it. But it's human nature to focus on the negative and be oblivoius to the beauty. I'll be some of the simplest, smallest things around you that you take for granted are amoung the most beautiful things in the world.
The smell of lilacs. A friend's hug. A stranger's smile. These are things to be appreciated.
Submitted by Calios (user info) at 2005-05-28 09:32:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/57651
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-28 09:25:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is what you're after.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59505
Incidentally it happens to be a Circe post too.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-05-28 09:05:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Unfortunately, I have to agree with you, but at the same time there are moments when things are beautiful on here. Look at your last post. Or at least my comments on it....
Here's the closest I have come to what you're after. http://www.ubersite.com/m/67073
Submitted by Draqus (user info) at 2005-05-28 06:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was gonna try and help, and give it a go, but then I saw Circe's review, and thought: "Already done."
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-05-28 05:51:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/45006 Check that out, dude. It's almost childlike, and fun, but there's this studied cynicism that makes it brilliant. And it's not bitter cynicism, like the utter pig swill you're spewing here, but the kind of cynicism that says "Yeah, things are messed up, but come with me and we'll laugh at them." The guy who wrote it is a friend of mine.
Submitted by Twiddle (user info) at 2005-05-28 05:12:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beauty is in the eye of the IN-DENIAL beholder so goodluck
Great post by the way I really thought abot how much I can suck at time (btw no peener for me)
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2005-05-28 04:57:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw fuck! I was going to link you to UBERTROPOLIS and then I realised you'd done that. Fuck. I'll be back with something so beautiful, you'll bawl like a baby and then ask for your mama. OK. Don't take my word on that, but I am going searching. Just you wait.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-28 04:56:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I gouged out my eyeballs just now.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-05-28 04:53:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-05-28 04:49:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
i've got nothing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*hug*
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-05-28 04:49:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i've got nothing.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-28 04:48:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's not and say we did.