Bored with Porn (1325 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.22 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Cunning Vision (View user info) at 2005-05-28 17:41:04 EDT
I am now completely bored with porn. I've watched too much, looked at too much, listened to too much. There's just too much porn.
There's softcore, hardcore, X and XXX. There's blondes, brunettes, redheads, blonde-on-blonde, blonde-on-brunettes, and blonde-on-redheads. I've seen fucking, fisting, fingering, felching, and too much foreplay.
Oh, there's blowjobs, handjobs, and rimjobs. There's chicks with dicks, chicks with strap-ons, and chicks who love chicks. I can't watch anymore dildos, vibrators, buttplugs, anal beads, love swings, whips, chains, handcuffs, or gags.
I will miss big tits, big asses, long legs, and dick sucking lips. I never really understood foot fetish, leather fetish, toilet fetish, or German scheisse videos. I did like teens, MILFs, barely legal, and over 40. There was voluptuous vixens, bodacious bods, sexy swingers, and horny housewives. I liked drunk bitches, college bitches, dominatrix bitches, and just plain bitches.
Who didn't like nurses, maids, military, schoolgirls, and cheerleaders? I saw fit girls, fat girls, fashion models, and models of the day. I read Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, High Society, Cherri, Oui, Score, and Gallery.
And there's solo, one-on-one, threesomes, and orgies. There's black, white, Asian and lovely Latinas.
There was nude celebs, nude models, nudists, and non-nude. I gazed at Danni Ashe, Alisha Class, Jenna Jameson and Jenna Haze. What about Veronica Vanoza, Vernica Zemonova, Silvia Saint, and Sonja Silva? And don't forget Jordan and Ginger Lynn, Christy Canyon and Raven.
I will miss them all. But right now, I'd rather watch "Groundhog Day."
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-30 18:06:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not quite there yet. The "mature amateurs" still work for me.
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2005-05-29 07:05:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I live in the Middle East where porn is illegal and all those websites are actually blocked. Pathetically enough, ubersites's NSFW pics are as close to porn as I get here. 4 days till I move back to Canada for the summer, and let me tell you- I'm gonna be all over the porn like a fat kid on a smartie.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2005-05-29 05:50:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I know exactly how you feel.
Porn is just kind of numb anymore.
Submitted by MoneyG (user info) at 2005-05-29 05:04:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am so so sorry. This is a sad day for all mankind. (Except Islamic and Christian fundamentalists. They hate that sort of thing.)
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-29 02:35:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow. I'm sorry. Losing your interest in porn is like losing a
favorite arm or leg.
It's tragic.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-05-29 02:32:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You gotta watch porn for the stories. They're fucking classic:
Asian chick #1: "So I'm writing a book."
Asian chick #2: "Oh yeah? What's it about?"
Asian chick #1: "Asian lesbians living in the big city."
Asian chick #2: "You're not writing about US, are you?"
Asian chick #1: "We write about life, and we write about what we know."
Then they fuck.
Submitted by A-Daamage (user info) at 2005-05-29 02:03:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 simply for stating that Groundhog Day is more entertaining than porn.
"He might be okay.... <explosion>.... well, no, probably not now."
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2005-05-29 01:02:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmm..... you haven't mentioned Tentacle Porn, Beastiality, and Scat. That should clear up your boredom like snorting a pound of wasabi would clear your sinuses.
Submitted by lordofduct (user info) at 2005-05-28 23:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I totally agree!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49727
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-05-28 22:20:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nothing worse than porn ennui. if you need another hobby, there's always model airplanes...
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-05-28 20:00:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I felt the same a couple of weeks back, so I quit... unfortunately, my hormone excess is getting to the point where the bowl of jelly in the fridge is fast becoming a viable sexual partner.
Just one more latina porn site, that's all I ask...
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2005-05-28 19:40:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
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Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-05-28 19:19:27 (#)
Ranking: 1
Try masturbating when you look at it, sometimes that's fun.
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Swamp Donkey, you crack me up.
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-05-28 19:32:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Gee that's rough. Have you tired gay porn? 'Cuz it sounds like you're gay now
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-05-28 19:19:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Try masturbating when you look at it, sometimes that's fun.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-05-28 19:14:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
will miss them all. But right now, I'd rather watch "Groundhog Day."
plus 2 for that line.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-05-28 19:07:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm very sorry to hear that.
Submitted by gina (user info) at 2005-05-28 18:54:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
gross
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2005-05-28 18:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The best part about porn is returning it to the wrong video store!!! Har Har, peeners and gyners, har har.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2005-05-28 18:33:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My thoughts exactly...
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-05-28 18:27:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
After watching porn for roughly 18 years, it's almost like I've become desensitized to the eroticism.
I prefer my porn to have plot. Even if it is just "Two guys try to get into frat, hijinx ensue".
Submitted by Grownasskid (user info) at 2005-05-28 18:24:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
bored of porn? such an idea is forigen to me
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-28 18:20:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Try gay scat porn. It did the trick for me.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-05-28 18:09:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bad choice. Andie Macdowell is a slack, dirty, ugly whore.