Heineken + Weed = ? (828 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 0.49 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by teh gary coleman (View user info) at 2005-05-31 00:21:30 EDT
Heineken just tastes so good. I smoke weed also. I love the feeling of smoking a blunt and just experiencing a plethora of amazing feelings.
It was freshman year at college (2 years ago) with me and my friends. I was fresh out of my suburbia high school hell and enjoying my life away from home. My boy Sean came over with a Phillie Strawberry Blunt and a quarter of niiiiice Central Florida trees. First, I was taught the fine mechanics of picking the weed off the stems, prepping the blunt, and packing it full of the aromatic sticky icky better known as marijuana. After perfecting the task of perfectly rolling a blunt in hand, the task of lighting the mother fucker was all on me. With the flick of the wrist, flames emerged from the lighter. The flames danced around the lip of the blunt like ballerinas dancing to the lame ass Nutcracker(seriously, who watches the Nutcracker?). I was told, "Pull nigga, Pull!!", as the hot and steamy sweat of the cannibus entered my lungs for the very first time. My lungs couldn't handle the pressure and sooner rather than later I began to cough up my right lung followed shortly by my left. Falling back on the couch I had seen my life fly before my eyes. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and then it happened...He. HeHeHe... hey guys did you know that... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Wait wait wait, let me explain see... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. And so this continued for an hour before suddenly, "HeHeHe...hey guys, I'm hungry!". Ramen noodles and Chips Ahoy Chewy were my five star dinner. Complete with Reese's Ice Cream for dessert and several glasses of sugary sweet Kool-Aid.
Sadly, I have never been able to get "that high" ever again. :( Have a great Memorial Day, and keep blazin.
User Reviews
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-05-31 10:19:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice bud. +2 for being a potsmoker. We seem to be a minority here at Uber.
-1 for using a Philly to roll good weed. Next time, pick yourself up a REAL cigar if you are going to fill it with the icky.
Oh, and if you DO use a blunt again, watch out for the cancer strip, found in between the two layers of the blunt on the side your mouth goes on. That shit'll kill you.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-05-31 10:11:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This is a very touching story.
I can't say I like Heineken very much, but I am fond of the weed.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-31 10:00:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-05-31 08:39:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-31 08:27:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks Rad. I sort of had the idea for a frat, but I thought it was like a place students lived.
Freshman I always thought was a term of respect, or high status. Obviously not.
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haha, i'm waiting for the aussie versions. here's my guesses.
first year of college/university = bloke
second year of college/university = drongo
third year of college/university = shirty roo bar
forth year of college/university = troppo schoolie
======================================================
Anyone taking more than 4 years to complete the degree: roo-fucker.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-31 09:59:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thorpe. Fraternity members usually live in a frat house.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-05-31 09:48:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heiniken + Weed = additional 10 lbs to the body. Great photo
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-05-31 09:36:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by okokididitbutiwasdrunk (user info) at 2005-05-31 00:30:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Advice: make it to Amsterdam where the Heineken is even better because it's fresh and the weed is beyond description - you will get higher than your first time. Trust me.
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Just remember to avoid the Jamaican weed, 'cause it's shit, and avoid the Bulldog cafe's as they are full of obnoxious english people, you can get your fill of them on Uber.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-05-31 09:27:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
some nice looking bud there
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-05-31 08:39:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-31 08:27:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks Rad. I sort of had the idea for a frat, but I thought it was like a place students lived.
Freshman I always thought was a term of respect, or high status. Obviously not.
________________________________________________________________
haha, i'm waiting for the aussie versions. here's my guesses.
first year of college/university = bloke
second year of college/university = drongo
third year of college/university = shirty roo bar
forth year of college/university = troppo schoolie
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2005-05-31 08:28:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My first time I felt like I was floating with each step, and my voice moved to the centre of the yard where it sounded tinny and robotic. Then I got on the subway (NYC) and giggled like a maniac for the entire 30 minute ride. Mmmm... memories.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-31 08:27:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks Rad. I sort of had the idea for a frat, but I thought it was like a place students lived.
Freshman I always thought was a term of respect, or high status. Obviously not.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-31 08:13:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
freshman is your first year at uni.
a frat is a fraternal organisation, usually greek life, when at uni.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-31 08:12:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Answer me these questions two:
1. What the hell is a "freshman"?
2. What the hell is a "frat"?
American terminology pisses me off.
Submitted by Calios (user info) at 2005-05-31 07:59:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Calios (user info) at 2005-05-31 02:06:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
heineken is from new zealand.
no it is not.
here's a tip.
lock your workstation
when you walk away.
fuckers.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-05-31 06:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't wait for your post about drinking Stella and smoking teh H.
Submitted by Rasta (user info) at 2005-05-31 06:09:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Perty picture!
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-05-31 05:10:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Get the hell out of my country, fuckin freeloader.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-31 02:35:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Calios (user info) at 2005-05-31 02:06:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
heineken is from new zealand.
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what is this?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-31 02:34:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I watch the Nutcracker.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-05-31 02:26:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by okokididitbutiwasdrunk (user info) at 2005-05-31 00:30:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Advice: make it to Amsterdam where the Heineken is even better because it's fresh and the weed is beyond description - you will get higher than your first time. Trust me.
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... and try some space-cake.
Submitted by Calios (user info) at 2005-05-31 02:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
heineken is from new zealand.
Submitted by okokididitbutiwasdrunk (user info) at 2005-05-31 00:30:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Advice: make it to Amsterdam where the Heineken is even better because it's fresh and the weed is beyond description - you will get higher than your first time. Trust me.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-05-31 00:28:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shit Post
Submitted by tehgareh (user info) at 2005-05-31 00:23:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/67343