I actually just read the "about ubersite" tab, and I gotta say, it opened my eyes. (863 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.84 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MoneyG (View user info) at 2005-05-31 02:07:05 EDT
First off, the tab emphasizes the open structure of uber, in which users submit and rate their own content. According to the tab, were uber to be a joke site, it would contain the funniest jokes on planen Earth, for the reason that uber users would submit the jokes they thought were funny, and the funniest jokes would get the highest rates while the crappy jokes got very low ratings. Using this logic, Bart, or whoever wrote the thing, states that Uber would eventually contain all of the great jokes known to man. Unfortunatly, it would contain all the bad ones too. This is not to say that uber users have this rather annoying habit of giving absolutely everything way more points than they actually deserve. Sure it happens, but it's been said so many times, I don't think anyone cares anymore. I could tell people right now that the +2 means "kicker of all asses," and it wouldn't make a difference.
Think about that, all asses. That's saying that this submission kicks every possible ass that it is possible to kick. Not an ass is missed. Not a single one. If it has an ass, this post kicks it. That's saying a lot. A hell of a lot. An assload if you will. But let's think, how many posts really do kick that much ass? Not too many. Certainly not this one. This one turned into a senseless rant at about line five.
The original point of this was to say why we didn't have a joke thread, but I don't know where that went.
Then there's the next question. How could we get rid of the bad jokes. There could be a filter. On Newgrounds, a post is deleted if it doesn't achieve a certain score after a given number of votes. 1.5 after fifty votes. 1.9 or 2.0 after a hundred or so. Eventually, every post on Newgrounds must maintain a score of at least 2.0(I think). There's a reason that wouldn't work here though. That's pretty much that on Ubersite, posts are rated on how much a particular person agrees with the content of the post, as well as how well it was written or if it was worth reading. Political posts anyways. And I'd admit my guilt. If an evangelist posted, I'd probably -2 the guy, even though he might have something to say.
This is still a rant, by the way.
We couldn't have the filter, or about half of the site would disappear. We'd lose a lot of stuff that we probably don't want, but at the same time, a lot of minority opinions would promptly be silenced.
In that regard, to everyone who says that Uber is going to the shitter, I'm afraid I'd have to respond with this: deal. You really can't do anything about it. I honestly can't think of any way to get rid of crap that wont get rid of something worthwhile. Of course, if you can, you might tell Bart, though we both know he probably wont do anything about it. And rightly so.
Continuing with my rant,
A little while ago I raised some heat about National ID cards when I responded to a guy named Jack McCullem. Then Congress went ahead and passed the fucking thing. Jack One, America Zero. Good call Jack, but I'm done, mostly cuz you are. You called it, but we'll see how this works out. I have a feeling that everyone with a card is gonna get the short side.
So what'd everyone think of Episode III? I really can't say. I wanna say it was better than the other two prequels, but the acting, writting and direction still stunk. So what does that leave? Nothing except FX. Yet still I liked it. In the middle of that sentence I figured out why. I liked the story. For me, the story told itself. I knew how it was supposed to go, and so when I watched it in the theater, I was really seeing what I wanted and expected, not what Lucas was showing me. When I talked about it afterward, I realized this. I didn't give a crap what Lucas did, I knew how StarWars was supposed to go, and damit, that's what I saw. Every bit of it.
God of War is one of the best video games ever made. That brings me to another point, why did I like it? I can see now why we'll never really achieve world peace. I think the only people who don't like war, I mean really don't like it, have already seen it. On one level or another, all men, that's everyone with a Y Chromosome, enjoy a fight. And I don't mean a sparring match. That's really just a substitute, a temporary fix. I think most people have a blood lust that they don't acknowledge. A real blood lust. A dark and disturbing one. They don't just want to kill a guy, they want to rip his bloody fucking head off. They want to feel it, to hear the bones grind against each other as you twist against the spine, to feel the warm wet blood splatter all over your chest and arms as you pull the head away from the torso. To look into the eyes as they start to sink backward and know that they did that. They came, they saw, and they conquered, with their own bare hands. That's why the ships on Star Wars all have blasters. Never mind that in space, a missle can hit a target from a million miles away. George Lucas ignored that out of convenience. He wanted it to be personal. He wanted pilots to see each other, to know who killed you. And so did his audiences. Why are World War II air battle games so popular? It's fast paced, but so is modern warfare. It's personal. Virtual pilots want to know that they beat the man, sent his body home to a crying mother, not a high-tec radar missle system that he just had to activate. These gamers want to feel it directly. To see the results of their actions, to know that when they push the button, a machine gun rips through the hull of another plane. Not activates a missle and then something happens far away, but to feel the whole plane shake as six thirty cals go off in tandem. That's action.
I'm not sure if video gamers are secretly the most violent people in the world, or if they just express it. Maybe they just haven't found another out. I think that's where passion comes from, it's that carnal rage focused into something useful. Anyone who can put their whole heart and soul into something is capable of outrageous violence. The kind of violence you hear about in Greek Legends. People fighting in huge armies with swords and spears, really just because they king was bored. Pacifists are definatly in the minority. There's a very small number of them, real ones. The rest just stick around because they pacifist would call them stupid if they didn't.
I think I just realized that I might be very disturbed. But don't call me that, because you're guilty too. And if you think you're not, you're either not human, or you just lied to me and yourself. I know it's there, and so do you, and so does God.
Deep down, way down there in the deepest, darkest, coldest part of your soul that you sealed off from even yourself, You're a rapist and a murderer. We try to hide it, but I don't think we succeeded the way we thought we did. Because we never stopped fighting wars. And even though now a soldier usually has to kill a man at about a hundred yards or so, he still gets that rush. And so we're still at war. People all over the world are the same. Most are small, but some are bigger than others. They want power, they want to control, rule, and dictate. Be careful of them, they will be amoung the first to use violence as a ways to a means, even it's peace.
No one on Earth can say they never hurt someone else. And enjoyed it. It happened or it will. But the most God-fearing people relish deep down, them above all else. They don't love God as much as they love the Bible. Think about what that means. Bible, Koran, Torah. Same thing. And that's just great comedy.
Okay, I'm done now. You don't have to review this. Nothing will come of it, and I wont read them. At least I wont right now. I might change my mind.
I just started typing and this is what came out.
And I want to add to that thing on violence. That's why swords are still so damn cool. Because two people go at personally, and really do tear each other to shreds, with blood and gore.
We are a sick and twisted culture. God help us.
Okay, bye now.
User Reviews
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-31 16:44:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-05-31 13:16:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Money?
This was better than a "Clevland", but not as good as a "Woodrow Wilson".
I would say between a "Salmon P. Chase" and a "James Madison" in value.
I think Uber should use my rating system.
Especially on the right side of the decimal point.
Submitted by yermom (user info) at 2005-05-31 12:50:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Meh.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-05-31 10:17:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-05-31 09:43:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God bless you sir. I hope you decide to post more frequently.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-05-31 08:08:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That there is some decent ranting...
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-31 07:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well said.
if my carnal instincts are based on my video game play, then i guess i am a powder pink puff ball who bitch slaps pokemon and other nintendo characters.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-31 06:00:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a pacifist
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-05-31 05:44:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-31 05:36:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe not all, but this kicked my ass, that's for sure.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-05-31 05:04:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The definition of rambling.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-05-31 05:04:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-31 04:59:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-05-31 04:55:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2005-05-31 04:50:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that post just went everywhere.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-05-31 04:45:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-31 04:44:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU BROKE IT AGAIN
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-05-31 04:42:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What did I tell you?
WHAT DID I TELL YOU?!?
You roll up in here, all hoity-toity, with your misappropriated article titles and self-aggrandizing hate literature about this divine website, PLAYING GOD, I might add, and what does our beloved Ubersite do?
What, I ask you?
It says, "Screw you, Mister 'I-hate-electronic-media' MoneyG, I can just host articles for people who appreciate me for a while. I'll disconnect this outbound ethernet port for a few hours and let Bart read my material. He always correctly references the name of my links and nibbles on the inside of my elbows when I'm feeling blue..."
So thanks for ruining the site for a hundred and eighty some odd minutes. You have hurt both the web server, AND it's feelings. I can feel its tears, running down my shins and filling my shoes...
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-05-31 04:28:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Way to bring down the site...STOOOPID
..I actually think it was me, but don't tell anyone...
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-05-31 04:24:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
to the post that stopped time...for at least for an hour or so...
Submitted by A-Daamage (user info) at 2005-05-31 02:20:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am a victim of tangent-veering myself. And war always comes down to the same thing: Pride. One side saying "I'm better than you" to the other. Either "my god is better than your god" or "my country is better than your country", etc. And all this talk reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
"War, it's fantastic!" - some army guy in a field, Hot Shots part Deux
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-05-31 02:13:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gah, the indefatigable follies of man... when will we learn to stop playing God?
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-05-31 02:11:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Foolish mortal!
The tab in question reads, "About Us"! ABOUT US!!! Not "About Ubersite"!
Gah, the indefatigable follies of man... when will we learn to stop playing God?