Things My (Now X-) Girlfriend and I Have Argued About. (1305 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.33 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by calbearspolo (View user info) at 2005-05-31 14:38:21 EDT
If you haven't stumbled accross this site, take a few minutes and laugh your ass off:
http://www.thingsmygirlfriendandihavearguedabout.com
I had to make up my own list after reading it:
If she snorts when she laughs.
Whose rancid fart we are smelling while in bed together.
If "Captain Awesome" is an appropriate name for my dog if he is not, in fact, a ranking military officer.
If changing my dogs name from it's current, "Jackass" (no lie), to Captain Awesome would confuse the poor beast.
If I have any ability to ever become a secret agent.
If after showering, use of MY towell is a perfectly acceptable action because she has left hers in the laundry while I stand, only a few feet away, dripping wet.
If I am the least romantic man she has ever dated.
If the phrase: "I have practice tonight, so I'll be home late," indeed means the same thing as "I can't stand the sight of you, much less hanging out with you ever again and hope that you fall under the spinning wheels of a Greyhound bus. After contracting Leprosy. On your birthday."
What the proper peanut to carmel ratio should be in a Snickers bar.
How "the best song ever" could possibly be written or performed by Justin Timberlake.
If my certain pair of jeans un-naturally highlight my crotch.
If Germany was involved with World War II.
If Huey Lewis, the recording artist, is black.
How many goldfish crackers I can fit in my mouth.
How many goldfish crackers I DID fit in my mouth.
If the pro-life/pro-choice debate is something she might want to have an opinion on, much less know about.
If calling a person from the Orient, "Oriental" is intentionally and actually highly offensive.
The best way to peal an orange.
How high a flag hung at "half-staff" should be on a flag pole, and why "half-mast" is generally not the used term if not referring to a ship's mast.
If a retarded man shitting himself is funny, even if she laughed at first, before realizing he was retarded.
How appropriate a woman commenting on her boyfriend's genital size and functionality is, in front of his parents.
The correct side of aluminum foil that should be facing the food.
Proper change for a twenty.
What "our song" is, who it is by, and which recorded version we are sticking with.
If leap year is observed in other countries.
The proper pronunciation of MY NAME.
What an appropriate number of cookies are for a snack.
How long one should cook a baked potato.
How hot the oven should be for a baked potato.
If a baked potato, after severely overcooking it, still qualifies it as "baked" and not "charred."
If my neck is too big.
What "4 X 4" refers to regarding trucks.
If I am trying to be metrosexual because my shirt has a collar on it.
If my cell phone ring was picked with the sole and undeniable intent of doing nothing other than pissing her off.
If taking a cold shower was a normal method of performing typical hygiene.
What color M&M tastes best.
Where on the globe Vietnam, Korea, and the Philippine Islands are.
Why Malcolm X was, her word, "angry."
User Reviews
Submitted by the_mysterious_stranger (user info) at 2005-06-01 06:12:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"If Germany was involved with World War II"
God...
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-06-01 05:15:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahh yes.... Mil Millington I believe.
Good one....
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-06-01 04:05:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love these.
Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2005-05-31 17:33:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kaysee:
All you ever wanted to know about flag terminology: http://www.nationmaster.com/encyclopedia/Flag-Terminology
Half-staff is defined there as well.
Submitted by kaysee (user info) at 2005-05-31 16:33:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's half- mast.
I had never heard half-staff used until approximately two weeks ago while I was taking the bus home.
It could be that I have always lived near the Atlantic Ocean therefore accustomed to using the terminology used for sea faring vessels.
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2005-05-31 16:28:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-05-31 14:49:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
"The correct side of aluminum foil that should be facing the food."
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I've actually had this fucking argument.
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So which side is it? Very shiny side or slightly shiny side facing the food?
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2005-05-31 15:24:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AAAAAAAAAAAAahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa!!!
>>>How "the best song ever" could possibly be written or performed by Justin Timberlake.
crying.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-05-31 15:21:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehe
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-05-31 15:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
almost as cute as the original.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-05-31 14:56:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I likey.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-05-31 14:51:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
potential
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-05-31 14:49:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"The correct side of aluminum foil that should be facing the food."
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I've actually had this fucking argument.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-05-31 14:49:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2005-05-31 14:47:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
Kai - I can give you her number if you really want. You may end up sorry, broken, and utterly confused, but you won't be able to say I didn't warn you.
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Um, no, she will. heh heh heh.
Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2005-05-31 14:47:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kai - I can give you her number if you really want. You may end up sorry, broken, and utterly confused, but you won't be able to say I didn't warn you.
Submitted by manicvelocity (user info) at 2005-05-31 14:46:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Screw her. "Captain Awesome" is the perfect name for a dog.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-05-31 14:45:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why its OK for her to call a woman a CUNT, but I cannot mention adjusting anything "A cunt hair"
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-05-31 14:45:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hell, pass her my way - I LOVE the dumb ones!
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-05-31 14:44:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Anal, we always argue about anal and how I always say "I slipped, sorry"