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Matt Maiorano's Back-From-The-Grave TV Review: Hey Dude (1544 hits)

Category: Movies & TV
Labels: BFTG

Rating: 1.7 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by Matt Maiorano (View user info) at 2005-05-31 21:44:48 EDT



Other BFTG reviews by Matt Maiorano:

Interview With The Vampire - http://www.ubersite.com/m/33901
Goosebumps - http://www.ubersite.com/m/34149
Salute Your Shorts - http://www.ubersite.com/m/34347
Duck Hunt - http://www.ubersite.com/m/34463
Ren & Stimpy - http://www.ubersite.com/m/35103
Gremlins 2 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/35848
Bomberman 2 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/36959
World Class Track Meet - http://www.ubersite.com/m/37590
Willy Wonka - http://www.ubersite.com/m/38127
Final Fantasy VII - http://www.ubersite.com/m/57431
Nick Arcade - http://www.ubersite.com/m/60829

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As we all know, Nickelodeon has molded and shaped most of our lives with all of its quality programming. When I was a kid, I would watch nothing but Nickelodeon..... and hardcore 80's porn while I drank copious amounts of beer. But today, I had to ask myself the question, "Was there ever a BAD show on Nickelodeon?" The answer, my friends, is a resounding yes.

This post is a milestone in my BFTG series. Today, we will be discussing Nickelodeon's second-worst travesty, "Hey Dude" (the worst being "Fifteen")


OVERVIEW: Hey Dude was a show on Nickelodeon from 1989-1991. It was set at the fictional Bar None Dude Ranch in Arizona. It's focus was on the predicaments that the teens and the ranch owner, Mr. Ernst, got themselves into.


The overview was stolen directly from www.tvtome.com, with the exception of one final line: "It was a great show to watch growing up and is missed by many."

Firstly, let's look at the overview. The story's setting took place on a fucking farm. If you ask me, that doesn't leave much room for a storyline that's dissimilar from Lassie. Additionally, I'm sure that a ton of kids in the suburbs can relate to all of those whacky antics on Dude Ranch. Surely most kids dream of working on a farm. Great show? I can't read those two words in conjunction with the show's title without bursting a blood vessel in my eyeball.

Granted, the girls on that show were pretty damn hot. Hell, even the guys kinda looked like girls. And I'm sure all of the ladies who remember the show had their childhood crush on Brad. But still, that doesn't make up for the fact that the show lacked in everything else.

I tried watching the show. I remember the few episodes I saw, simply because they were just so.... bad. Uh oh, Ted was put in charge while Mr. Ernst was gone and he's going on a power trip! Haha, they're convincing some Indian kid that he's shrinking! Forgive me, I can't be bothered to remember all of the characters. The show only lasted two years.

Even worse was the show's nauseating lyrics:

"It's a little wild and a little strange...
when you make your home out on the range.
So, start your horse and come along.
'Cause you can't get a ride if you can't hold on.
Singin' yippee kai aie ay. (Yippee kai aie what?)
Like the cowboys say. (Sing it again now.)
Yippee kai aie ay.
'Till the break of day.
(You'd better watch out for those man-eating jackrabbits... And that killer cacti!)
Hey Dude!"

I don't know about any of you, but every time I've ridden a horse, it never really needed 'starting', unless it was one of those really old ones that needed those electrical paddles to restart its heart every 20 seconds. Not only that, but I'm betting that this "Dude Ranch" is taking place on another planet, with all of its jackrabbits that crave human flesh, and cacti that attack helpless women and children.

In all of the shows I've seen, I haven't seen one man-eating jackrabbit or killer cactus. If anything, that would have totally made the show worthwhile. I can just picture it - The Lost Episode of Hey Dude.

Mr. Ernst is dragged off and eaten alive during the night by the jackrabbit tribe. His screams resound throughout the desert air, and time is short as the helpless teens must fend off the murderous cacti. In their final hours, they realize their love for one another, so Melody and Lucy experiment with each other and pleasure all of their male friends. In the end, Melody and Lucy become the evil Jackrabbits' sex slaves.

Hey Dude: The Anime Porno


PLOT: 3
STYLE: 2
ORIGINALITY: 4
Melody Bonus: +1

OVERALL: 4


Don't watch it. Not even for old time's sake.




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User Reviews


Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-11-08 20:35:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Rads_wife (user info) at 2005-06-14 00:32:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/68315

WINNER!!!

Submitted by CLAIRE1 (user info) at 2005-06-06 08:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Dude, I am still pissed I spent all that time mailing you that package and you still have not declared anyone a winner. WTF dude?

Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-06-04 02:20:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

That blonde bitch is the one that married Ben Stiller, right?
The one who played Marsha in the Brady Bunch movie, and was in Dodgeball?

I'm right, right?
What do I win?

Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-06-04 02:06:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

totally my all time fave nick show. that and pete and pete (which just came out on dvd)

yippi kai yai what?!?




SAY SOMETHIN SMART

Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-06-04 01:57:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

+2 because I am a Saaaaaad Panda :(

Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2005-06-02 20:46:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

You know, I downloaded one of the seasons of "Salute Your Shorts."

But then about 5 minutes into it I was all "LOL WTFagmo?"

Submitted by Gnat (user info) at 2005-06-02 12:51:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

I liked Hey Dude...

Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-06-02 04:06:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

drowning

Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-06-02 04:05:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

the only memory of this show I have is when one of the guys pretended to be drowing and then one of the girls started CPR and the guy kissed her and she was like AAAAH and stormed off and the guy was like lol what??!

Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-06-01 15:49:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Why the hell did I ever watch this shit?

Submitted by cnympho247 (user info) at 2005-06-01 15:29:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2


:-D

Except I dont remember this show at all.

Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-06-01 10:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

ooooooh. Now I remember it!

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-06-01 08:10:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Submitted by CunningVision (user info) at 2005-05-31 22:06:16 (#)
Ranking: 1

Thank God I had stopped watching Nick by then. The last show I remember watching regularly was Turkey TV.

"Turkey
Turkey TV
Turkey
Turkey TV!"


Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-06-01 03:55:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

My god. Your back from the grave series is giving me "Sunday afternoons in the 5th grade" flashbacks.

Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2005-06-01 03:39:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Melody was too hot, I would do her.....





















In the ass.

Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-06-01 00:24:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Man, that was a fuckin shitty show.

Salute Your Shorts wasn't great either, but it sure kicked the shit out of Hey Dude.

Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2005-06-01 00:17:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0


Brad was a man, and you know it!!

A very hot, vuluptuous, sexified, C-cup man.......

Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-06-01 00:04:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Brad was a girl.

Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-06-01 00:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Yeah that show sucked. It probably would've made a far better porno.

Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-05-31 23:57:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

hell yeah, i watched that show

It had Christine Taylor in her mother fucking prime. metaphorically speaking, she was the bottle of champagne that christened my "s.s. wang spew."

Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-05-31 22:35:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I used to watch that show all the time.

http://www.ubersite.com/m/67446

Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2005-05-31 22:23:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0


I just got through saying the show sucked ass. Did you miss it?

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-31 22:22:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

The show stank. Like this post. Only, in color.

Submitted by CunningVision (user info) at 2005-05-31 22:06:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Thank God I had stopped watching Nick by then. The last show I remember watching regularly was Turkey TV.

"Turkey
Turkey TV
Turkey
Turkey TV!"

Submitted by Scatherm (user info) at 2005-05-31 22:02:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Ah, the memories.

Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-05-31 21:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

WHOOO HOOO! First review!

I must say, the missed episode does kind of make the series...

+1 for random pull from the past
+1 for missed episode


Jeez. No beer ... no opera dogs ...

-- Homer Simpson
Bart the Genius