Trippin' Balls: The WA years (558 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.57 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Cunning Vision (View user info) at 2005-06-02 18:04:12 EDT
This is how it began. This was the night that normalcy left me left for seven years.
I heard of 'shrooms before 1994. I had heard all the bad things about them: how they're poisonous, they can kill you, they make people see goblins and try to fly off buildings. I had heard all those bad things and tried to avoid the drug.
Then senior year happened.
Many of my friends began going out without me. I heard talks about the meaning of life and seeing sounds. I wanted in on the new club and they we're more than willing to show me how.
I went out that dreary September afternoon with my friend Jason to the cow fields on Farm-to-Market Road. We hopped the barbed wire fence he showed me what to look to for.
"These are called Liberty Caps. These 'shrooms are dark brown and usually grow around cow shit."
I made my notes and we began picking. And picking. And picking. There was a shitload (no pun intended) of these suckers everywhere. We filled our brown paper shopping bags with Liberty Caps. Then suddenly we heard a helicopter.
We ran like fools back to my car. Jason said that the cops will bust you for having 'shrooms, but only if in a plastic baggie. To this day I don't know if it was true.
A few hours later, we were at our friend Chris's house. About 12 guys with bags full of mushrooms filled a large cauldron on Chris's stove. The tea brewed and we puffed the ganj. When the brewing was done, we each filled our own Snapple bottle with the brown, sludgy liquid and jumped in the cars lined up out front. It was off to the Seattle Center Laser Show. Tonight was Laserpalooza. Ah, 1994!
About halfway to Seattle, everyone downed their tea. I did so with trepidation, but Jason told me everything would be cool. Chris was driving the car. He didn't do any drugs then and still never has. I don't even know why he hung out with us.
As we came upon the city, driving south on I-5, the skyline showed against the cloudy night sky. That's when it all hit me.
Everything turned to black and white. That is with the exception of the solar bright taillights that surrounded us, and the streaks of white flying by in the opposite lanes. A giggle broke the silence.
"My teeth are numb," I said. "Did I eat the bad mushrooms?"
"Well if you did," said Jason, "then we're all going to die."
I was scared the rest of the way into the city. Did I get the bad 'shrooms? Maybe my body wasn't made to take this. Was I going to die? Or worse yet, go crazy?
"We're here," Chris said jovially.
Jason laughed and jumped out of the car. I followed suit.
As we walked down the sidewalk to the ticket counter for the laser show, I felt like I was walking on marshmallows.
"I feel like I'm walking on marshmallows," I told Jason. "Is the ground soft or something? Or is it just bumpy?"
"I don't know," he said, really pondering this like it could change the world. It way, his answer would. "I guess it's just bumpy."
We got to the ticket line. How fun.
"TICKET PLEASE!" I yelled.
"For what show?" asked the annoyed Gen X, blue haired clerk.
"Jason, what show," I whispered to him.
"Laserpalooza," he whispered back.
"LASERPALOOZA PLEASE!"
We got in line for the show and I really had to use the bathroom. Jason and Chris wanted to walk across the street to McDonalds. I couldn't do it. I walked with Andy to the Center House. We passed a group of people laughing hysterically. Unfortunately, the doors to the Center House were locked.
Andy and I turned to walk back to the line. We passed the group again, but this time they were frozen.
"Dude, Andy, were those people statues?"
He turned and looked back. We stared. They didn't move.
"I don't know, man. I don't know."
I held onto my ticket for dear life as we waited to get inside the show. Finally, the gates opened and the crowd charged inside. We took a seat as opposed to laying down. The lights dimmed and music began.
The lights and the music. Oh shit. Here is where everything faded.
The lights flashed and faded around me. The music beat into my body like a bag of feathers. Then it all came to me. The meaning of life.
"Music. Hear the music play, man. Hear that beat? That's world. That's life, man. We're all just instruments around that beat. We all make up the orchestra of life. The ups and downs in your life just make up the bigger song, man. So matter what happens, it's for a reason."
It all made perfect sense. I was floating in blues and reds and yellows, watching guitar notes fly by like butterflys in a field. Then Jason poked me.
"Dude, it's over. Let's go."
They took me home that night. My parents were out of town, so I had the house to myself. Unfortunately, it took me half an hour to find the handle to the screen door. Then I had to pee. But the toilet shrank down to about the size of a thimble.
You know hard it is to aim into a thimble?
I lay in bed, trying to come down. I prayed to God that if I didn't go crazy, I would give up all drugs forever. Just let me come down, let me com down, please let me come down.
I woke up the next day, slightly woozy, but feeling A-OK. I called Jason.
"Dude, I found the meaning of life."
"I knew you would."
"When are we going to do it again?"
User Reviews
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-06-03 01:37:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I went to a butterfly sanctuary last summer while tripping my face off. My world has never been so utterly rocked.
Submitted by CunningVision (user info) at 2005-06-03 01:10:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fucking errors throughout this piece. I gotta stop writing while drinking.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-06-02 19:23:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-06-02 18:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wait... you can pick shrooms that make you trip? what exactly do they look like... because i may be down like a clown, charlie brown..
Submitted by Totally_useless (user info) at 2005-06-02 18:14:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Read this:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/65335
and you'll know why I'm giving you a +2.
Great post.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-02 18:12:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
always happens
Submitted by 2x4fun (user info) at 2005-06-02 18:11:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you can fed ex shrooms and the feds dont care.my brother did it.
Submitted by CunningVision (user info) at 2005-06-02 18:10:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll get to the LSD years later.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-02 18:09:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I love shrooms. They're like acid for pussies.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-06-02 18:08:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
mmm... shrooms...
it's rainy and hot down here...
soon, my pretties, soon.