Nuggets Mommy Found Her Secret Website (3012 hits)
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Rating: 1.91 on 89 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Corn Nugget (View user info) at 2005-06-03 00:34:30 EDT
When I was younger, it wasn't an unusual experience to walk in my room, see all my dresser drawers open, and find my mom, sitting on my bed, sobbing.
The first time this happened, she held my diary in her hands, her finger poised on a page that said, "I cheated on my math test! hehehe Laurie gave me all the answers!". She cried for hours over this, hired a tutor, and had a talk with my teacher.
A few years later it was the same scene, with a different prop- this time she had a pack of cigarettes in her hand.
Then she found a roach (the kind you smoke, not the kind that sends you running through the house, screaming and crying).
This drove me to hide better- not to BE better.
I began duct taping my personal things to the back of mirrors, tucking bags of weed in the toes of my shoes and being more careful about what I wrote down in my journal. Then she began finding things that weren't even significant... "Corinne! Why do you have a pillow under your bed? Are you sneaking boys in?"
"No, I don't know why the pillow is there... it probably just fell."
"Don't sneak people in my house!"
"I'M NOT!"
I moved out when I was 18. It was nice to be able to Not Hide things. After nearly 10 years on my own, I had to move back. Which means I had to start hiding things again.
I have my bag of weed tucked away. I write on my computer, and then I password protect it. I talk on the phone when I'm in my car, instead of when I'm home. I haven't forgot how much she loves to snoop.
Then we come to TODAY.
Today I was complaining about how I was gaining weight. I told my mom not to buy junk food, since I have no will-power. I went grocery shopping, and filled the house with the stuff I used to eat- Wheat bread, nuts, fruit, veggies, salmon and chicken. I showed her my workout plan. I described my goals.
I looked up at her, to see if she was paying attention. Her face was blank, but her eyes were swimming in a pool of emotion.
Then she said it: "Corinne, you're gaining weight because you're pregnant."
It stopped me in my tracks. I slowly turned to face her. "I'm not pregnant. What are you talking about?"
"I saw what you wrote about Shiloh."
Oh fucking christ almighty. She found uber.
Okay, that's not so bad... I explained the situation to her, told her I wasn't pregnant, I was just being vindictive and mean. She said "are you sure, Corinne?".
"Yes mom, I just had my period."
At this point I'm bubbling with embarrassment. My armpits are sweating and my face is flushed. But still, she only read that one post, so... no big deal.
"And you had sex with Bart?"
"No! What? No, that was a jooooke mom. I was trying to be lighthearted about my previous Shiloh gaffe, and that was my misguided joke."
"And how can you afford to smoke so much weed? You don't have a job."
Arghhhhhhhhhhh
What in the hell?
So we went right from the sex conversation into the drug conversation. Then we derailed right back into the sex conversation when she randomly blurts, "Don't have an abortion... put your cigarette out".
"MOM! For the love of god, I'm not, nor have I ever been, pregnant!!"
I never imagined she'd find uber. She barely knows how to get to www.msn.com, let alone HERE, let alone figure out how uber works, in order to find MY posts.
Oh well, at least I don't have to be 27 and hiding things from her.
The next step is to stop being morally corrupt.
User Reviews
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-12-14 10:57:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-12-14 08:52:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Police and thei-he-heves in the street.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-12-14 08:34:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh god.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2007-12-14 04:39:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, I have to hide my weed from my mom too. But only cause she'd smoke it all if she found it.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-12-14 04:31:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-12-14 04:27:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My mom would be convinced that most of you are fucking retarded.
...and that I spend too much time here.
WHATEVER MOM.
GOD!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-12-13 16:02:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
shudder to think of my mom finding this and reading some of my stuff.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-12-13 12:51:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now thats funny!!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-12-13 12:49:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My mother thinks I spend an inordinate amount of time photoshopping emus.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-06-10 08:21:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-06-06 23:44:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My mom knows about the site, but she's never read anything. I don't think so, at least. Dear God, please don't let her have read anything.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-06-06 23:35:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahh, Snoop. He's got all the bitches.
Wait, what?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-06-06 23:17:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Loren, I think she's just how she is.
I hesitate to say Anyone is stable, or unstable, or this or that... the whole "placing labels" thing is hard for me to do. I think we (as westerners... or has humans, even) have this idea of normalacy, and when someone doesn't fit well enough into the mold, we're too quick to try to determine what is "wrong" with them.
She's simply a product of her life.
(although yes, it was wrong of her to snoop... and it kills me when she does it, but... ah well, I'm living here for free, so I won't complain)
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-06-06 14:48:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
""Don't sneak people in my house!"
"I'M NOT!"
I moved out when I was 18."
-----------
Ahhhahahahahahahah!
My lord... Corn, all joking aside, she was out of line to read your diary back then. She is out of line to continue snooping altogether.
Is she 100% stable? I'm serious. It's just so wrong of her to invade your privacy. If she didn't go where she shouldn't she'd have saved herself a lot of heartache over what really amounts to nothing.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-06 14:24:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Corn Nugget's Mom, if you're reading this, start posting deliciously embarrassing details about Corinne that we can laugh at!
And, whoever decides to be an alter of Nugget's mom (cause you KNOW it wil happen), try to do it right and not suck too much. I'd do it myself but I'm too busy right now.
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-06-05 12:43:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Make sure to tell her you're a pedophile too. And that you talk to little kids on AIM.
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2005-06-05 01:10:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-06-04 20:37:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to have a little scrap of paper with a whole bunch of URL's when I was a kid, and I never bookmarked anything.
I always cleared the history and everything, just to make sure my non-computer illiterate step-mother never saw anything or popped onto a site...
Course, I never hid the drugs... I just blamed them on her son...
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-04 03:21:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This kinda reminds me of when I was on Uber late at night, with headphones on, and I had the door locked for some reason. My mum knocked heaps but I didn't hear, so she did the little safety thing after a while and opened the door - she was convinced I was looking at "inappropriate material". I had to step back and show her what was on the screen - this picture:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/32128
Submitted by parzival (user info) at 2005-06-04 00:43:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-06-04 00:26:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahah
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-06-03 23:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nosy mom IS rule!
Right on, brotha!
;)
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2005-06-03 21:00:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Somebody's gonna get me for the inadvertent apostrophe below.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2005-06-03 20:38:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nosy mom's rule.
Submitted by notoriousbrett (user info) at 2005-06-03 20:11:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hah I used to stash my weed in a hole in the fabric of my couch that I cut. Really, parents will invade privacy like it was the border to France.
Submitted by project_nessa (user info) at 2005-06-03 19:33:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"And you had sex with Bart?"
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-06-03 18:54:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha busted
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-06-03 18:06:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-06-03 08:14:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
God, the sex talk and the drugs talk in one sitting. I'd kill myself.
THIS IS WHY YOU MUST CLEAR YOUR HISTORY DAILY PEOPLE.
My mom's cool, but my ex found this site once. He saw someone say they wanted to fuck me and like, flipped out.
------------------------------------------------------
my mum found this site.
"matt what is this 'ubersite'? It sounds disgusting! 'Camwhore', 'goatse.cx', 'schlongy', this isnt why we have the internet" etc
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2005-06-03 17:48:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell your mom that I'll be late for our date. I just need to pick up about 30 condoms and a liter of Captain Morgan.
And lots of lube.
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2005-06-03 16:45:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-06-03 11:11:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
...
Agreed. I send almost all of my photoshoppings to my mother, although she mentioned THERAPY after my Ubercon: France post. Apparently she feels that emus aren't worth everything I put into them.
Bloody slore.
------------
Blasphemy, blasphemy, blasphemy!!
That post is still, to this day, the funniest thing I've ever seen.
It's been my desktop background since that day.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-03 14:10:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha! your mom pwn you!
Submitted by Draqus (user info) at 2005-06-03 12:36:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Moral Corruption is the worst habit to break.
Aside from weed addiction or some shit.
Well, actually, no.
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-06-03 11:38:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My mom never found my stash but she was PISSED when I found hers...(and smoked it all).
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-06-03 11:28:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-06-03 10:20:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
You're awesome.
Buy a stash can: http://www.everyonedoesit.com/online_headshop/productCategory.cfm?sC=Stash_Cans&iProductCategoryID=107&iLastCatID=105
Easy.
***
can I fit Ubersite in that can?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-06-03 11:11:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-06-03 09:39:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
My parents would probably just laugh at my useless contributions to this site.
Then they'd tell me to get back to work.
--------------
Agreed. I send almost all of my photoshoppings to my mother, although she mentioned THERAPY after my Ubercon: France post. Apparently she feels that emus aren't worth everything I put into them.
Bloody slore.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-06-03 10:37:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear Mrs. Nugget,
Please do not stress yourself over your daughter. As a responsible sugar momma, I wouldn't provide a pregnant woman with a bounty of weed. As for her being pregnant, she is most certainly is not. For her to be knocked up, she would be required to cheat on me, and if that day ever came you would not have to worry about grandchildren, because her body would be found buried in the fetal position at your local train station.
Much love,
Peon
a.k.a Your Daughter's Sugar Mamma
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-06-03 10:25:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Corn Nugget's Mom, if you're reading this, butt out of your daughter's private buisness and get a life of your own. Don't you have friends or something?
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-06-03 10:20:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're awesome.
Buy a stash can: http://www.everyonedoesit.com/online_headshop/productCategory.cfm?sC=Stash_Cans&iProductCategoryID=107&iLastCatID=105
Easy.
Submitted by clumeister (user info) at 2005-06-03 10:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The next step is to stop being morally corrupt.
Heh Heh =)
Good luck with that =)
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2005-06-03 10:06:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot an apostrophe in your title, moron; stop smoking so much pot. I often wonder what my own mother would do should she see some the VILE and AWFUL things I post...
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-06-03 10:02:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-03 10:01:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man, that sucks. My mom never went through my stuff. Southern Baptists believe that if you don't acknowledge it, it doesn't exist.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I know woman that believe in that last line....when they get pregant, like it's going to go away
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-03 10:01:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man, that sucks. My mom never went through my stuff. Southern Baptists believe that if you don't acknowledge it, it doesn't exist.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-06-03 09:51:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe now you'll change your ways, little missy!
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-06-03 09:39:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My parents would probably just laugh at my useless contributions to this site.
Then they'd tell me to get back to work.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-06-03 09:10:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dammit. That weed tricked me.
I hate when it does that. Maybe you should smoke right now, get real creative, post it, and then have us judge your comedy
Have you ever seen my comedy..........on weed!!!!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-06-03 09:02:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and after I had this talk with her last night, I went and smoked a bowl. Then I had this BRILLIANT IDEA... and I kept thinking "God dammit, Corinne, you're so fucking smart!".
It had something to do with relationships, pyramids, and onions... I wrote it all down on the back of an envelope that contains an X-ray of my tooth.
At this point I'm not sure what I wrote, and the idea is very muddled and vague, and if I'm remebering my idea correctly, it was a disappointingly stupid concept.
Dammit. That weed tricked me.
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-06-03 08:30:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi Corinne's mom (Mrs. Nugget)
She's telling the truth, she's not pregnant. But it's not the whole truth. She already was pregnant. I keep our child with me ... she didn't want to hurt you. Please don't be angry with her.
Our child is beautiful. We named it Brian Peppers.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-06-03 08:21:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I once spent several hours trying to hack into my mom's e-mail account because my idiot sister accidentally forwarded a message to her where I was bitching about Christmas. We never did figure it out because my mom never changed it from when she first set up the account. I was trying all the pet's names, dad's birthday, anything I could think of and it was one of those generic BIS49373 things.
good times
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-06-03 08:18:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How come your mom didn't want to talk about ROCK AND ROLL???
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-06-03 08:14:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God, the sex talk and the drugs talk in one sitting. I'd kill myself.
THIS IS WHY YOU MUST CLEAR YOUR HISTORY DAILY PEOPLE.
My mom's cool, but my ex found this site once. He saw someone say they wanted to fuck me and like, flipped out.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-06-03 08:10:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ouch, my whole life's goal has been to avoid all those conversations with my parents.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-06-03 07:49:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just make sure she doesn't find out about the dead hobos
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-06-03 07:45:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
To: Cornnuggets Mom-
If you are reading this, my name is Miguel. Why are you monitoring your daughter, she a good girl. So you smokes a little weed every now and again...who doesn't. It could be a lot worse. We could have been caught robbing the bank last year, or even worse...got busted for the "escort" service your daughter and I have started but we didn't/haven't yet. You may not approve this line of work, but it could be worse.
Thanks for everything (shit I've sold from your house)
Miguel
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-06-03 07:44:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hello corn nuggets mum! *waves manically*
hope mine doesn't find this, the duck post would shock her.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-06-03 07:22:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear Corn Nuggets Mom,
You shouldn't worry so much about your daughter, she is a fine lady. It is very refreshing thias day and age to meet a woman with curable venerial diseases.
Regards,
Indoninja
This should smooth things out with your mom nugget.
Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2005-06-03 05:13:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-06-03 00:40:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Probably every Uber users worst nightmare come true.
Mmmmm I must admit that about two months in I realized my friends would see this, a few later my Mum and I have been more circumspect than before.
That said one of the four things that can destroy a man is maintaining a false status, the truth will come out.
Be carefull what you practise, you'll get good at it.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-06-03 04:57:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, well, we'll have to kill you both now....
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-03 04:28:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You still up for that swingers party later this week Nugget? I hear there's going to be a SHITLOAD os underage couples there! For once you'll have more than just me. *wink wink*
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-06-03 04:21:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi Corn Nuggets Mum.
God, what would my mum say.
I've declared that I wanted to be a dominatrix and dish out sex tips to losers who really, for the sake of mankind shouldn't be having sex...
She'd be really disappointed in me.
And I'd probably laugh a lot.
Submitted by CLAIRE1 (user info) at 2005-06-03 03:59:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So sorry. I had to move back home when I was twenty-one. My parents were a lot cooler than yours fortunatly. But my mom is also the biggest snoop.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-06-03 02:55:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah sucks, hence RAWapollo88.
although all things considered that isn't the best disguise.
Hey, who can guess my other alter??
I'll give you a clue, he/she/it is on B@W.
Submitted by dwr_budr (user info) at 2005-06-03 02:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny.
Hi Mom.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-06-03 02:35:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Eeesh.
Clearly, you must have her killed. She knows too much.
Submitted by girlintheworld (user info) at 2005-06-03 02:02:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, P.S. I finished the story--part 1 is up. You can continue to bother me again.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/67663
And just because I feel like I have to...
"Did you scrub the bathroom floor today? DID YOU?"
"Yes, Mommie."
"Yes, Mommie what?"
"Yes, Mommie Dearest."
"When I told you to call me that, I wanted you to mean it."
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-06-03 01:45:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's a bit freeing, don't you think?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-03 01:32:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This kind of reminds me about the time my mom found my dildo.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-06-03 01:30:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If I were you, I would just take advantage of the opportunity to freak your mother out. Make your next post about trying lesbianism
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2005-06-03 01:28:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Haha that's just annoying, huh?"
Very. But it was worse when I hit puberty. Having your mother drag you to a drug store so that you can openly discuss the age old question of pad vs. 'pon...that's something you really can't top.
Submitted by MoneyG (user info) at 2005-06-03 01:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dead Wrong!
You don't have to change at all. Nothing you've done seems terribly reprehensible to the point where you really have to alter your lifestyle.(Sure everyone can improve though)
Now if you don't mind telling me, how is it that you find a person's stuff on Uber. I thought that was removed.
Submitted by transhuman (user info) at 2005-06-03 01:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-06-03 01:20:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's the one thing I just threw away when I moved back home... (oh god I hope my mom doesn't read these reviews). I just heaved it into the dumpster, and then giggled at the thought of someone finding it.
That was sick of me. Oh well.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-06-03 01:18:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, it's so. The *one* box I wanted to move myself when I was moving...the *one* frickin box...
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-06-03 01:16:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-06-03 01:14:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm overusing commas.
Strawberry... tell me it ain't so!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-06-03 01:13:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2005-06-03 01:04:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
My mother called me a few weeks ago to remind me that Aunt Flo would be visiting soon, and that I should go and buy some "tampies."
It's scary what she knows.
***
Haha that's just annoying, huh?
***
Saxon... haha you dirty Aussie. Give it up! Put your ass tickling feather away! Etc!
***
Crystle- I did offer to roll up a joint to loosen the tension, earlier. She threw a pillow at me.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-06-03 01:11:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This kinda reminds me of the time that my dad found my vibrator. But not really.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-06-03 01:05:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gosh im sorry Corinne's mom but Bigmike has shamed me into a confesion too.
You see i supply Corinne with her bags of green because she lets me swap underwear with her and we um play hidey go seek in her bedroom wearing only each others underwear. We only do it when we get very stoned and never when your at home.
Corinne likes to play master of all males and she makes me sleep under her bed and spanks me when im bad. oh my ive been bad again Corinne.
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2005-06-03 01:04:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My mother called me a few weeks ago to remind me that Aunt Flo would be visiting soon, and that I should go and buy some "tampies."
It's scary what she knows.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-06-03 01:03:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice... but of course, if she were able to find it, she might mellow out a little...or so I've heard.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-06-03 00:59:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't think she read the reviews. If she had read some of the reviews on my posts she may have had a heart attack... so Mike, we can rest assured knowing that she will never know about our illict affair.
Crystal, notice I didn't say WHERE I hid the weed. ;)
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-06-03 01:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dammit all to hell, Corinne.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-06-03 00:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't think she read the reviews. If she had read some of the reviews on my posts she may have had a heart attack... so Mike, we can rest assured knowing that she will never know about our illict affair.
Crystal, notice I didn't say WHERE I hid the weed. ;)
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-06-03 00:52:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Corinne, let's talk about the illicit affair we are having. It's my baby, not Shiloh's. It shouldn't matter that I'm seventy two years old. I know you don't like the colostomy bag, but that's ok. You don't have to keep cleaning it out if you don't want to.
If you do though, I will keep giving you my social security checks so you can keep buying all those nice big baggies of buds.
P.S. Did you tell your mom the date? You know, when we are getting married. It's coming up quick and you know how much I want to meet her. In those pics you showed me she's soooooo hot!
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-06-03 00:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha set her up with a UBER account this could be fun.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-06-03 00:40:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Probably every Uber users worst nightmare come true.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-06-03 00:40:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ouch....
I can't imagine ...
How's she going to react to this post?
Submitted by NocternalDragon (user info) at 2005-06-03 00:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha sorry I shouldent laugh but this is funny shit.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-06-03 00:40:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's fucking hilarious.
Submitted by girlintheworld (user info) at 2005-06-03 00:40:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
I needed this.
Next thing you know, she'll be scouring your closet, asking you why you put things on metal hangers, throwing your clothes all over the place, and making you clean the floor... together.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-06-03 00:39:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SHE IZ PREGNANT NUGGETS MOM SHE HAS THE BLACK BABIES AND THE AIDS INSIDE HER I PUT IT THERE ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG