Going Home, Part 2 (534 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.6 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by girlintheworld (View user info) at 2005-06-03 21:28:17 EDT
Part 1 -- http://www.ubersite.com/m/67663
They got to the hotel and Charlie brought the luggage in, while Lindsey dialed home on her cell phone.
"Hello, Mom? I just wanted to let you know I was staying at the dorms again tonight, but I'll be home sometime tomorrow. Yes, yes I know. Ok, I'll talk to you later. I love you too."
"Well, aren't you sneaky?" Charlie remarked.
Lindsey smiled sheepishly. "This isn't exactly an ideal thing to tell your mother."
"Or any parent."
"My father died," she said softly.
"I'm sorry," he said, sincerely.
She shrugged. "It happens. Anyway, I think I'll get ready for bed." She headed toward the bathroom and closed the door, started the shower.
He lay back on the bed. She wasn't a bad kid. In fact, she was beginning to grow on him a little. He didn't know much about her and he felt like he didn't have to. He felt like all he needed to know was right there in front of him. She had a calming presence; he didn't realize that until just then.
Her father died. He wondered what it would have been like to live that life. To never know the other half of your identity. Technically, he had done that, in a way—but that's why he was doing what he was doing now... fixing things. Making it right.
Her ability to bounce back from things like that amazed him. He had known her only a few short hours and yet, she made it all seem easy. Too easy. Like life was just something to deal with, just like any other. It wasn't anything special. It was just there. Fuck if he knew why.
And she had an amazing smile. She was so open, with so few words. Could it be that he felt an attraction to her? She was stunningly beautiful... He could keep going on this bus ride with her, find out more. His wife and son probably forgot about him anyway....
...What the fuck was he thinking?
"She's just a kid, still gotta lot to learn," he reminded himself. Starting tonight.
He crossed the room, got her purse, and sat down on the bed. He then pulled out her wallet, and—
"What the hell are you doing?" Lindsey demanded.
Fuck. He hadn't heard the water stop, didn't even know she had been standing there.
"Look," he began, but darted for the door. She held out her leg and he tripped. "Ow! Bitch!" He got up and looked at her, and reached for his pocket. "Now, I didn't want to do this, but—" Shit. Where the hell was his knife?
"Looking for this?" she waved it in the air.
Oh, fuck no... Wait, he thought, her cell phone. He could use it, blame this on her.
He lunged past her and grabbed it. "I'm gonna call the police, and then I'll call your parents. I bet your mom and dad would love to know where you are right now, and what you've been doing."
A low laugh escaped her lips, and she stepped toward him. With sudden force, she knocked the cell phone out of his hand. This was some evil bitch.
"I told you," she said deliberately and smiled, "My father's dead." She took the knife and drove it into his stomach as he staggered to the ground.
"Auuuuuuuu...... FUCK! I'm going to see my family! I got a wife and a son waiting for me at home, and I haven't seen them. I left them and now I'm comin' back! I'm ready to come back!"
"Guess you're gonna have to make up another excuse then," she stated matter-of-factly.
He was hurt, and the pain was almost unbearable. He had to stay strong though, for them. He owed them that much. But right now, he had to distract her.
"I don't know what your problem is. Maybe I did a bad thing but I was just..." It was fuckin' hard to concentrate. His words sounded choppy.
"Maybe you should tell them—oh, I don't know—your father got sick again, and off you have to go to take care of him! That's a great one! A bit overused at this point though. Don't you think?" The smile was gone now.
"What the fuck... how did you know... wha..."
"Oh, that's right! Your wife... had a girl, asshole. Maybe I forgot to mention that. Or, you forgot to ask. I didn't want to wait until we were properly introduced; sorry it's not under better circumstances, better luck next time, except it doesn't look like there's gonna be a next time for you, does there? So sad." Her words dripped in spite.
"My God... I..." Every word took thought. Thinking takes too much effort, really...
"Daddy!" She screamed, dropped to the floor and hugged him, plunging the knife even deeper into his torn skin. He couldn't do much of anything now. He knew it was over.
"Tell your mother... I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Lindsey..." He tried to focus on anything, anything, everything was cloudy. This wasn't the way he wanted...
The last thing he saw was her eyes, the spitting image of his own. He hadn't noticed before.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-06 18:28:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by girlintheworld (user info) at 2005-06-04 12:39:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for all the comments.
As far as Part 2, I had so many conflicting feelings about this story. I knew what I wanted the result to be, I just didn't quite know how to get it there as well as I had moved the story along in the first part.
It's rushed.
Submitted by indigogecko (user info) at 2005-06-04 12:05:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
this all needed to be in the same post - I'd figured she was his kid by the end of the first part, have to agree with feeling a little let down by this one.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2005-06-04 05:11:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I felt kind of let down with the second part. The first part was great, with the building up of the plot and the wonderful descriptions.
This part seemed to be just all 'She makes a call. She stabs him. The end.'
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-06-03 23:56:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is some of the best quality I have ever seen on this site, definitely the best suspense. Nice work!
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-06-03 21:40:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yikes