Denied! (Thanks, Razor) (573 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.75 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SimianSidestep <SimianSidestep.at.yourmommashouse.org> (View user info) at 2005-06-04 23:15:11 EDT
For Reference:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/67433
Someone is trying to fuck me. Allow me to walk you through my Saturday evening:
I attempted to do my fair share for humanity by donating to a charitable cause.
Now I'm feeling really great about myself, and I put in my credit card info... DENIED. Now that's strange. I try again. DENIED! I try yet again. DENIED!!! What the fuck, I got paid yesterday there should be cash in the coffers. DENIED!!!!
Now, I'm pissy. Hello non-Visa credit card. ACCEPTED. Finally.
I put in a call to the Verified by Visa assistance number and the conversation goes:
"Hello, please hold"....20 minutes later...."Hello Sir, your account number please."
"Yes it's XXXX-XXXX-XXXX-XXXX."
"And your name?"
"Simian Sidestep."
"And your social security number?"
"YYY-YY-YYYY."
"And your mother's maiden name?"
"Are you kidding me? XXXX."
"And your current address?"
"Your momma's house."
"That's not funny sir I was just trying to verify your identity. How may I help you today?"
"Well I tried donating some money to an online charity earlier and my purchase was repeatedly denied, I tried making a credit card purchase later and it was also denied."
"Well I'm looking at your account sir and...hold on... I'm trying to access...ah, your account has been marked for fraud."
"Fraud?! How did it get marked for fraud?"
"Evidently it happened when you tried to make a purchase at the World Food Programme. It would seem that your verification failed multiple times."
"Well I knew that already but now that you know that it's me, you can remove the fraud flag from my account so that I can go buy some alcohol?"
"I'm sorry sir. There's another department that handles the identity verification and they are closed until 8 tomorrow morning. If you'd like here is the number..."
Here I went and tried to do a fucking good thing for mankind and I got bitch-slapped. Evidently my hour on hold wasn't enough. Was my donation not enough either God? Are you punishing me for not doing more for my fellow man? Are you angry that I had planned to get really drunk Sunday afternoon, but now am unable to buy alcohol because fucking blue state law says I can't buy alcohol in Minnesota on a Sunday and all of the liquor stores are already closed? This is a fucking conspiracy.
Razor you wouldn't happen to know anyone that works for Wells Fargo, would you?
User Reviews
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-06-05 06:03:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate all CAPS.............fuckin honkeys
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-06-05 06:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sREEL rESERVE....NO BETTER $1.19 COULD BE SPENT!!!
Submitted by hobbs (user info) at 2005-06-05 05:43:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"...remove the fraud flag from my account so that I can go buy some alcohol?"
Oh you fucking rock *swigs the JD, bought this morning, oh yeah bitch, its a Sunday, with my non fraudulant (sp?) card! hahahahah*
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-05 00:05:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cisco and steel reserve, baby.
Submitted by SimianSidestep (user info) at 2005-06-04 23:32:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mad Dog 20/20...ah the memories. Now that you mention it, I had planned on passing out in a dark alley and waking up to the sound of my own hair growing. That's a real night.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-04 23:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Go beg for change and buy yourself some Mad Dog 20/20 to tide you over