"C'mon, It's time to go." (1630 hits)
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Rating: 1.95 on 35 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bigmike (View user info) at 2005-06-04 23:27:31 EDT
..........Haze..........
Chris stepped out of the batters box box and surveyed the field. There were two boys on base. Derek on second; Ben on third. He casually glanced up at the scoreboard. Right below the "Lansing Little League" sign was the score. Hawthorne three, Lansing one. He saw the inning, bottom of the sixth. It was Little league drama at its best. The umpire signalled to the pitcher that the count was three balls and two strikes. The parents in the bleachers were shouting encouragement to him.
"C'mon Chris, you can do it!" yelled one.
"Let's go honey, we know you can get a hit!" yelled his mother, a look of trepidation and nervousness clouding her beautiful features. Next to her, his father just looked at him and gave hum two thumbs up.
Chris stepped into the batters box and looked at the pitcher. Jaime Kline was one of his best friends at school; one of his mortal enemies on the field. As he looked at Jaime, he casually took three warm up swings and then set himself. Jaime looked in at the catcher and went into his windup. He released the ball and it went zinging in at the catcher. It was a good pitch. It was a fast pitch. Incredibly fast. Quite possibly the fastest pitch Jaime Kline had ever thrown.
Chris saw the ball leave Jaime's hand and followed it to the plate. Chris was zoned in on the ball and when he felt like this, everything happened in slow motion. He tracked the ball in and waited. Closer.......closer.......he went into his swing.
CRACK!
Chris swung with as mighty a force as an eleven year old little leaguer ever could and hit the ball squarely. He stood at the plate as the parents all stood up and began to cheer. As he went into his trot, the ball sailed out of the park, disappearing over the two hundred foot sign in left center field. Derek and Ben were jumping for joy as they rounded the bases and waited at home plate with the rest of the team. Chris had a finely honed home run trot, and it took him a little while to round the bases while the rest of the team waited, high fiving each other and generally having a raucous time. As Chris reached home plate, he took a very high jump and landed on the plate hard with both feet. The team cheered. His parents cheered. He cheered.
After the game, Chris was talking with Derek and Ben. His parents came over to the bench and observed their son. His mother thought he was growing up too soon; his father thought he was growing up a fine boy, soon to be a fine man.
"C'mon, it's time to go," his mother said.
"Ok mom." Chris said as he turned to his friends. "Goodbye Derek, goodbye Ben," he said.
............Haze.............
Chris was dribbling the ball down the court, Derek on his right, and Ben trailing behind as they ran almost as one. Chris was the point guard and it was his responsibility to manage the clock. At mid court, he slowed down and looked up to see how much time was left. The clock was ticking. Fifteen......fourteen......thirteen......twelve.
When it reached ten, Chris held up two fingers and Derek and Ben sprang into action. Derek ran in front of Chris, right to left, and Ben trailed off behind him left to right. Derek set a pick on the man who was coming up to guard Ben and as Chris passed the ball off, he broke around the pick and headed for the basket. As he ran down the lane, Ben threw a lob pass to him that he caught without hardly any effort at all. The clock was at two when he jumped up and laid the basketball off the backboard. He watched casually as the ball fell through the net and time expired.
The crowd went wild as Chris, Derek, and Ben all slapped hands and hugged under the basket. Final score: Lansing 52, Hawthorne 50.
As they were coming out of the locker room, Chris, Derek and Ben were talking about the birthday party that was coming up at Abby's house. Everybody knew that Chris liked Abby and Chris' parents could see the flushed look of embarassment on his face as he talked with the other boys. They knew instinctively that Abby was the subject.
"C'mon, it's time to go," Chris' mom said as his father looked at him with awe and respect.
"Ok mom. Goodbye Derek, goodbye Ben," he said.
..........Haze...........
Chris was running out onto the field for the final play of the game. The sidelines were jammed with parents and the tension was thick. This would be the last play for Lansing and they were down by three. As Chris got to the huddle he bent over, looked at his teammates and said,"Red left two hole, on two." After he said this, the whole team yelled "BREAK!" and they ran up to the line of scrimmage. Derek and Ben were in the backfield, Derek lining up left and Ben right in a wishbone formation. Chris looked out over the defense and started barking signals.
"Two forty two........two forty two......hut.......hut!"
The ball was snapped and Chris turned to his right. Derek had ran by him to the left and dove into the pile of rushing boys, hoping to clear a pathway for Ben, who was supposed to receive the handoff and dive through the two hole in the line.
Ben went to run up and receive the handoff, but lost his footing and fell to his right knee. As Chris was turning, he expected Ben to be there for the handoff, but there was no Ben, Chris saw that he was on his knee and there was no chance of getting him the ball. Chris immediately took off right, and tried to get around the end of the line and score. He ran as fast as he could and as he was turning the corner, the strong side linebacker dove and caught his left ankle. Chris went down, cradling the ball, knowing that Lansing was defeated by their rival Hawthorne.
Derek and Ben came over to where Chris was laying. They looked down at him, both with tears in their eyes.
"Goodbye Derek, goodbye Ben," was all Chris could say.
"Goodbye Chris," they replied.
A man on the sidelines came forward to Chris. Chris looked up at him and thought "Where have I seen this guy before? That beard, that hair. Hey wait, I know......"
"C'mon, it's time to go," the man said as he held out his hand.
Chris took it and it felt warm, and good.
"He's gone," the doctor at the pediatric oncology unit said to Chris' parents. It was painless and peaceful. Chris' mom looked at her husband and broke down into tears. "I think that his unconscious state was the best thing for him. I wouldn't want to imagine the pain he would have been in otherwise. It really was a blessing. I believe that God was with him."
Chris' parents walked into the room slowly and stood over Chris' body. His mother took his still warm hand and cradled it with both of hers.
Chris' father just stood there, running his left hand through his dead sons hair, trying to remember the good times.
They stood there for the longest time watching Chris in his eternal sleep. After awhile, Chris' father turned to his wife.
"C'mon, it's time to go."
"Goodbye my darling," she said to Chris as the tears flowed freely down her cheeks.
"Goodbye son, I love you," was all his father could muster with trembling lips.
They turned as one and walked arm in arm out the door, remembering their son.
User Reviews
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-26 06:38:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not sure if I've read this before...
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-06-25 00:22:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
made me feel like I was playing t-ball again.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-18 07:32:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-06-17 17:59:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-17 01:19:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Mike, did you ever finish that "Eyes" series you started?
Nope. I have it somewhere. Maybe I'll dust it off.
=======================
AWESOME
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-17 18:18:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-06-17 17:59:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-17 01:19:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Mike, did you ever finish that "Eyes" series you started?
Nope. I have it somewhere. Maybe I'll dust it off.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-06-17 01:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, you're good
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-17 01:19:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mike, did you ever finish that "Eyes" series you started?
Submitted by Rads_wife (user info) at 2005-06-14 00:37:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68315
WINNER!!!
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-06-12 09:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Flatline_____+_____+______+_____
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2005-06-11 23:25:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Magnifique.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-06-07 14:05:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"and i just got contact lenses and had a shitty half hour earlier because i couldn't figure out if it was in or if i'd dropped it on the floor and i stabbed myself in the eye with my fingernail
it was in, by the way. a friend told me to touch my pupil and if i could do it the contact lens was in. so i got it out. now my eye hurts
oh mighty eye doctor, will i get better at this?
Don't go touching around in your eye if you're not sure that the contact lens is in or not. Use your fingertip to feel around the edge of your cornea. Your cornea covers your iris (colored part of your eye) and your pupil (because of the wine and any drugs you may be using, this is the huge gaping black part of your eye which is actually a hole.) If you go sticking your fingernail in there, you may scratch your cornea which is one thousand times worse than wondering if you have a contact in your eye.
I heard a story about a guy who pulled his cornea off thinking that it was his contact lens
Yes, you will get better at it. So good in fact, that you will be able to insert and remove your contact without even thinking about it. Be careful of the fingernails. They may be good for luring young men or women to your bed and then having a bit of fun as you scratch them softly about quivering flesh, but they are dangerous as all hell when you go sticking them into your eyes.
I am an optician, not a doctor. Like a pharmacist actually. I fill prescriptions.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-06-07 13:04:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
your memory problem is coz of how you're old
hahahahaha
oh god i'm sorry
"Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be"
No more wine. going to bed. buy another hard drive, they don't cost much
and i just got contact lenses and had a shitty half hour earlier because i couldn't figure out if it was in or if i'd dropped it on the floor and i stabbed myself in the eye with my fingernail
it was in, by the way. a friend told me to touch my pupil and if i could do it the contact lens was in. so i got it out. now my eye hurts
oh mighty eye doctor, will i get better at this?
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-06-07 12:52:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-06-07 12:48:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
You never ever turn on AIM no more
bastard
I had to delete some programs to make room. AIM was one of them because I never use it. When I can figure out my memory problem I'll reinstall it.
I've got twenty gigs of memory and it's all used up. Can't figure out what the hell is eating it all.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-06-07 12:48:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You never ever turn on AIM no more
bastard
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-06-05 21:00:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-05 06:40:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, look. This was good and all, but from my point of view, steve did this very story, but more developed and more shocking.
Good job, just the same. It's not a competition, but I had just read his the other day.
I did not read steve's wonderful post before I wrote this. That being said.......
I don't think Steve's story and mine are the same at all. Steve's story is exceptional and touching but, unless I'm wrong, is a story about a man who has a vision of his dead sons life, and their life together that never was. It was a life that Will could feel as if it were real, but never really happened. All in all, a very solid story.
Am I right on this?
My story is about a kid who has cancer and is unconscious, in his last days. While he lies there, he relives certain experiences in his mind. Finally, his thoughts complete his life cycle and, at the moment of his death, his friends say their goodbyes. Or at least he has that moment with them in his mind.
As he struggles to survive, he relives the triumphant moments from his life. when he dies, he relives a disappointing moment where he failed. In the last memory he meets his maker, who escorts him to the hereafter. His parents have no idea this is happening as they are distraught and watching over him as he dies. They have been watching for some time. His mother was always saying to him "C'mon, it's time to go." At the end it is she who hears that phrase from her husband. Her pain is deep, but not especially evident as this is a story about him (Chris), and his perspective, not hers.
The hazy areas are when Chris' brain kind of shuts down until the next memory. He is unconscious, after all.
Maybe I didn't write this as well as I should have. I thought it was pretty clear. Either that, or I am totally misunderstanding Steve's excellent post.
Submitted by TragicKingdom (user info) at 2005-06-05 18:32:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by girlintheworld (user info) at 2005-06-05 17:25:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Steve's post ... http://www.ubersite.com/m/67481
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-06-05 16:42:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Steve who? Link me to it so I can read it.
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2005-06-05 12:03:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very moving - made my eyes all misty
Submitted by indigogecko (user info) at 2005-06-05 10:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2005-06-05 09:51:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome work, Mike.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-05 06:42:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mind you, I did tear up slightly reading this.
Then again, I tear up at the little dog who gets seperated from his family in those mastercard commercials.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-05 06:40:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, look. This was good and all, but from my point of view, steve did this very story, but more developed and more shocking.
Good job, just the same. It's not a competition, but I had just read his the other day.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-06-05 06:14:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It took me a second read of this but it was worth it.
-Dave
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-06-05 05:57:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2005-06-05 01:57:40 (#)
Ranking: 1
This story was confusing. And I'm not saying that just because it's about sports.
I ran the risk of not fully explaining the situation here in order to go for effect. I knew it might be confusing to some, but I wrote it like that anyway. It seemed to make more sense to me to write it in this manner. Also, it's really how the story came into my head and why it's so sad to me.
Read it again and we'll discuss it. It's very clear to me what's happening here, it might not be for some readers. It may be that the reader gets to a point and says "Hey, what just happened here?"
I acknowledge that.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-06-05 03:05:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No. It wasn't.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2005-06-05 01:57:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This story was confusing. And I'm not saying that just because it's about sports.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-06-05 01:16:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i wuv bigmike
woo
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-06-05 00:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read bits and pieces.
Can't read it all now.
But I'm bookmarking it for tomorrow, and I fully expect this rating to hold up.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-06-05 00:22:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by awj002 (user info) at 2005-06-04 23:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sense of impending doom at every triumphant moment. good writing
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-06-04 23:55:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-06-04 23:55:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Why did you write this? Is this about someone you know of?"
This story came to me as I was grooming little league fields today. I became very sad thinking about it and I knew I had to write it tonight. The names are fictional in a sense that this is a fictional story. The names belong to kids I have coached and they just sounded natural to me.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-06-04 23:49:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I...can't even tell you how hard this hit. I had goosebumps with each section. I played every sport growing up and had incredible moments in each of them. Oh, and my name is Chris.
I could have easily been this kid.
Why did you write this? Is this about someone you know of?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-06-04 23:34:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment