No More (448 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.58 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by seduce.a.stranger (View user info) at 2005-06-05 02:05:26 EDT
It had been raining for hours. It was pretty at times, though, when she could catch a glimpse through the window. It was a misty sort of precipitation, and around the streetlights a sort of halo developed, making the city hazy. Dreamlike.
"Miss?"
Hailey zoned back into the world.
"I'd like a Deluxe Cheeseburger, no onions..."
She wrote down the order, kicking herself mentally to pay more attention to her job. Living off of tips meant that she had to earn them. Besides, Rob had been down her neck since last week's incident. She shuddered a little, finished writing down the order and gave the older man a cheap smile. She walked back to the little kitchen in the diner to place the order and came face to face with HIM. A sneer crossed the manager's face as he stepped a little closer to Hailey, pushing the limits of her personal space.
"Last table of the day, huh Sweetums? How 'bout afterwards you and I..."
"Rob, you know I'll say no. For the millionth time, no."
His face screwed up again, the look almost appearing as though it was the only thing stopping him from spitting in her eye, or worse. She rose up to her full height, and though she was a few inches shorter, the confidence in the pose made his look drop a little.
"I've got to place this." Her words were exasperated as she pushed past him, back to Dennis' familiar smiling face as he held his spatula, ready to grill up the next batch of surely unhealthy, but just as surely delicious food.
By the time she finished serving the older man (who had left her quite a bit of cash, considering his small meal), Hailey had grown more than a little uneasy. Rob hadn't let down his gaze since their little confrontation in the kitchen, and she felt that this had been the last time. Something had broken. Perhaps in both of them...Hailey was about as wearisome of turning the now-cruel looking man down as she knew he was of propositioning her. She speedily cashed out and left through the back door. She was determined. When she returned the next day, there would be no more. No more taking his little comments, no more copping a feel when there weren't any customers.
She'd just stepped into the rainy street when she felt the blow. Hitting from behind was a sinister thing to do when in combat, and when strinking somebody thought to be helpless, was simply dirty.
But Hailey wasn't helpless.
IT WAS NINJA TIME.
User Reviews
Submitted by seduce.a.stranger (user info) at 2005-06-08 12:35:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It really amuses me that to half of the people who rated this, the ending was what made the piece good, deserving of a +2, but to others, that was what brought it down. It also amuses me that sparkle_pink and Bigmike's reviews are almost complete opposites of each other.
Way of the world, I suppose. hahaha.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-06-05 06:37:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-05 03:11:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2005-06-05 02:10:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
This was just okay till the end.
I love retarded endings.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-06-05 06:11:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You ruined a perfectly good piece of fiction with that ending. Shame on you.
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-06-05 04:28:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool
Submitted by bush_for_god (user info) at 2005-06-05 04:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking GOLD
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2005-06-05 04:12:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Was working itself up to be a good story and then went fubar, and I loved it.
Bagana
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-06-05 03:47:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not sure what to think.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-05 03:11:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2005-06-05 02:10:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
This was just okay till the end.
I love retarded endings.
Submitted by Secks (user info) at 2005-06-05 03:06:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-06-05 03:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-05 02:47:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-06-05 02:15:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read this but I saw the picture.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-06-05 02:15:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read this but I saw the picture.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2005-06-05 02:10:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was just okay till the end.
I love retarded endings.