The Liberal Agenda (40856 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.36 on 130 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Spooner (View user info) at 2005-06-05 09:12:20 EDT
I found this while walking home from the movies last night. It's the Liberals' agenda for today, June 5, 2005. Let's look and see what a day is like for the Liberals of America...
Liberal Agenda for June 5, 2005
8:00 - Wake up. Hug tree.
8:10 - Quick breakfast of Wheaties w/ banana and unborn fetuses, stem cells spread on toast.
8:20 - Get dressed in hemp suit.
8:30 - Miscellaneous worship of false idols.
8:45 - Drive to methadone clicnic in hybrid car; 30% electric, 70% Bible furnace.
8:50 - Receive methadone. Sell for pot.
9:00 - Catch up on a little reading: Torah, Koran, Book of Mormon, other books not The Bible.
10:00 - Stop on way to welfare office to drown puppies.
10:20 - Pickup welfare check.
10:30 - Cash check.
10:35 - Buy more pot.
11:30 - Miscellaneous Sodomy.
12:00 - Light lunch of sushi and stem cell pie, plus cappuccino, at upscale coffee shop.
12:30 - Stop at nearest cemetery to bleach flags on veterans' graves.
1:30 - Miscellaneous coveting.
3:00 - Steal babies, throw them from bridge.
3:30 - Bomb a church.
4:00 - Meeting with Jews for instructions on what news stories to run today.
5:00 - Formal dinner/fundraiser of virgin Christian sacrifice. Guest speakers Michael Moore, Al Franken, Satan, and Bizarro Ann Coulter.
6:30 - Smoke cigars lit by a burning pictures of Jesus
6:45 - Infiltrate the school system to attract impressionable young student to the homosexual lifestyle.
7:00 - Miscellaneous taking the Lord's name in vain.
7:10 - Smoke pot.
7:15 - Giggle for about twenty minutes.
7:35 - Order pizza with extra cheese and stem cells.
8:00 - Pay pizza man in food stamps.
8:30 - Watch Real Time with Bill Maher.
9:30 - Bedtime snack of nachos with three kind of cheese and peppers. No stem cells, watching weight.
10:00 - Miscellaneous dishonor of mother and father.
10:30 - Early bedtime, need rest for tomorrow's All-Day Sodomy Fest.
User Reviews
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-02-02 14:12:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
5:00 - Formal dinner/fundraiser of virgin Christian sacrifice. Guest speakers Michael Moore, Al Franken, Satan, and Bizarro Ann Coulter.
Submitted by athena87 (user info) at 2008-02-02 13:37:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The book of mormon is not what I would call "liberal literature", but I get your point. Funny stuff btw.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-04-06 15:23:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok cool nevermind then.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:49:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Of course I was joking, i even admit that I stole it from Kai in that link!
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-04-03 14:38:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-04-03 12:52:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-23 21:25:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, but the problem is that a lot of people are just posting it in their blogs and never linking it. My name's gotten away from my work in some circles. ""
yeah and this got robbed from my Islam agenda that predates this by fucking years.
don't hear me crying about it do you?
---
Apollo I honestly hope you are being sarcastic because otherwise I don't know where the fuck you got the balls to claim that I stole the concept of writing a humorous daily agenda from you. Yes apollo, I stole the idea of writing an agenda of some sort from you, then just for fun, I used entirely different jokes. This is not an idea that has been done before and applied to some other entity. "The Liberal Agenda" has never been a bullshit political buzzword ripe for parodying.
I, Spencer Thompson, now officially apologize to apollo for stealing 104 word article, changing it entirely, making it funny, and then allowing other people to like mine better. It was a huge mistake on my part and I am filled only with the deepest regret.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-04-03 12:56:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44578#894855
hehehe
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-04-03 12:53:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44578
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-04-03 12:52:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-23 21:25:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, but the problem is that a lot of people are just posting it in their blogs and never linking it. My name's gotten away from my work in some circles. ""
yeah and this got robbed from my Islam agenda that predates this by fucking years.
don't hear me crying about it do you?
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-04-03 12:48:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Spooner, if people are stealing your stuff and detaching your name, you should be activley pursuing them to either credit your work or remove it from their site.
You absolutely have a legal copyright over what you've done, and it's great stuff so you should enforce it.
I have actually gotten some of your stuff taken down in the process of getting some of mine taken down.
I'm gonna touch base with you about this in a place I know you'll read it since this is old.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-07 19:55:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Still fucking awesome.
Submitted by kclovebliss (user info) at 2006-02-21 13:47:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where did you find my agenda? I have been looking all over for it i thought i dropped it at the local starbuck's ! ~bliss
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-12-31 02:00:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How the hell did I miss this gem?
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-08-26 17:21:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Auf-Der-Maur (user info) at 2005-08-19 19:05:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Most the time, I only have to buy pot once a day
Submitted by egadz (user info) at 2005-07-16 19:20:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by smaragaid (user info) at 2005-07-04 17:32:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-07-02 21:31:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2005-06-27 05:56:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff.
Submitted by Or_ (user info) at 2005-06-27 04:57:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff, and deserving of B@W.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-23 21:25:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, but the problem is that a lot of people are just posting it in their blogs and never linking it. My name's gotten away from my work in some circles.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-23 21:07:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
20000 hits in 20 days is pretty hot
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-23 20:59:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Specifically,
http://www.1754blog.com/blog/?p=2466
Among others. And it's going to need a LOT more links for MVM. Especially the actual MVM, and not the top 40.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-23 20:52:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
who has this linked?
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-06-23 20:43:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so how many times have you been linked-to now? could make a run for the MVM with this one, and that thing hasn't changed for a long time.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-23 20:35:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I swear I wrote my review before seeing the one below me.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-23 20:31:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just want to say this:
Dear conservative bloggers,
Stop linking to this article as if it were actually meant to defame liberals. Stop it. Stop it stop it stop it. This is meant as a shot *against* conservatives.
Also to the few liberals who have taken offense to it, C'MON, you almost make the conservative bloggers look good. You guys should be smart enough to realize it's a satire. Seriously.
Love,
Spencer
Submitted by Balrog (user info) at 2005-06-23 20:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Eh I'm not really a liberal and it still wasn't funny. Shame on your for falling into stereo types, most liberals couldent care less about what you do to a rain forest..you may want to look up what a liberal actually is...i think your post described mostly "hippies" -2 for being a dumbass
Submitted by Tokerson (user info) at 2005-06-19 18:57:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Bizarro Ann Coulter"
HA! Good stuff.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-19 18:55:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2005-06-19 18:37:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 for making me laugh
+1 for getting to read all the feeble-minded Liberals get angry
WHOOOOOOHOOOO HOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
---
-2 to you for being stupid
By the way:
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=44779
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2005-06-19 18:37:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 for making me laugh
+1 for getting to read all the feeble-minded Liberals get angry
WHOOOOOOHOOOO HOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-06-18 11:16:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Are your statistics for DC per MONTH, because that's ridiculous. In Toronto, a city of 2.5 million people, there's only 75-100 murders what so ever per year.
I bet if we move DC to Iraq they'll finally have some senators. "At least Iraq's a DEMOCRACY now," they'd say.
Submitted by wrabbit (user info) at 2005-06-17 16:29:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Even better, let's move DC to Iraq. That'd fix 'em.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-14 20:44:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you consider that there have been an average
of 160,000 troops in the Iraqi theater during the
last 22 months, that gives a firearm death ratio
of 60 per 100,000.
The firearm death ratio in DC is 80.6 per 100,000.
That means that you are more likely to be shot
and killed in our Nation's Capitol, which has
some of the strictest gun control laws in the
nation, than you are in Iraq.
Conclusion:
We should immediately pull out of ...
WASHINGTON, DC!
Submitted by sn0c0ne (user info) at 2005-06-14 17:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
small minded chump logic
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-06-14 03:39:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MrCoffee (user info) at 2005-06-13 23:44:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want a Bible-Furnace car
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2005-06-13 16:05:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68407
Tribute baby
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2005-06-13 15:26:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-13 14:45:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-05 22:52:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-05 22:38:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Liberals are anti-gun-control?"
It can be argued the constitution is pro-gun control, depending on how you interpret "well-regulated."
=--=-=-=-=-=
It says "well-regulated"? I'm no yankee so buggered if I know what's inside your constitution, but I always assumed it just said you have the right to "bear arms".
===============================================
Williamson, this dirty liberal is taking words out of context.
The militia is to be well regulated, the right for the people to bear arms "Shall not be infringed"
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2005-06-13 13:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, those liberals!
(looks down at hemp suit)
...fuck.
Submitted by cigarr (user info) at 2005-06-13 11:25:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-06-13 11:22:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheRef (user info) at 2005-06-13 11:20:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what? no rating of 3 avilable yet?
I return from my 3 month long sabatical hoping the changes i proposed to bart through clever use of COSMO ads would have worked by now. Damn...
Damn...
At least there is a midget working accounting now...
"sorry dude, midget 2.0 was canceled due to budget constraints"
What?
No midget???!!!??
well fuck me runnin' then.
good post.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2005-06-13 11:08:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The problem with political comedy is that unless it's done well, you either agree with the comic's agenda or you don't.
In my opinion, this post lacked the effort required to get off the ground, and I don't agree with the agenda.
Submitted by BigDaddyV2.0 (user info) at 2005-06-13 09:27:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Look!
a -2die....
Submitted by keglined (user info) at 2005-06-13 09:06:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As a liberal I thought I'd check it out, you know, from what Hannity would call an "objective" standpoint:
Initially I thought since there's nothing original/unexpected here, it isn't exactly funny or even interesting. Negative 1. In fact it's so hackneyed it's not even offensive. Not even to me: the sensitive liberal, so easily offended.
Then I thought, "Oh! This is satire... you know, showing how unoriginal liberal bashers are."
But no, waxing Archie Bunker requires at least a feigned sense of focus, which the confused usage of right-wing stereotypes (drowning puppies and bombing churches?) rules out. Negative 2.
So after wrapping my recently-jerked knee, shakily downing a double-mocha latte, and meditating with some old-school Chomsky, I managed to collect myself and read it again.
I've seen better, but at least it's (mostly) cogent and grammatically correct. That alone negates the negative score it probably deserves. You know, from a truly objective person. Someone not so disposed to downplay his own biases.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-12 12:21:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-11 23:08:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
I've written better stuff than this (well, not really, but almost), and this will overtake my entire hit count in a couple of days.
(Actually, I haven't at all, but I'm still jealous. Don't deny me my jealousy. It's all I have left.)
---
I've written better stuff too, but it isn't quality that gets something hits. It's how much that article makes someone want to share it with someone else, and the best way to do that is to make it about a large group of people common to the internet. You saw it in Tom's P2P article, and you're seeing it to a lesser extent here, as liberals post this on message boards to each other.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-06-11 23:32:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NO! THIS IS ABOUT TO OVERTAKE MY ENTIRE HIT COUNT! DONT REACH 18 000! PLEASE DONT!
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-06-11 23:22:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
10:00 - Stop on way to welfare office to drown puppies.
10:20 - Pickup welfare check.
10:30 - Cash check.
10:35 - Buy more pot.
11:30 - Miscellaneous Sodomy.
---
Half of it was stupid, but this section really did it for me.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-11 23:08:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've written better stuff than this (well, not really, but almost), and this will overtake my entire hit count in a couple of days.
(Actually, I haven't at all, but I'm still jealous. Don't deny me my jealousy. It's all I have left.)
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-06-11 22:58:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
15000 hits?
I fucking hate you.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-10 20:13:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's satire, buddy. I'm a liberal.
Submitted by kchanning (user info) at 2005-06-10 19:55:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It is comments and beliefs like this that make the greater majority of the World think that the Moral Right in the US will lead to its downfall.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-10 19:15:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This post is inspired by The Gay Agenda, but it was the one The Daily Show ran a few years ago, and was a hell of a lot better than that post.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-06-10 18:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What bullshit; this was inspired by : http://www.ubersite.com/m/26812
Wah! Wah! Wah!
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-10 18:38:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks to the people who IMed me, but I found out already.
www.theinquirer.net linked to me. The hot chicks on the left. Get there now cause it'll be gone tomorrow.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-10 14:04:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm getting 600-700 hits per hour here.
Where are you people coming from?
IM me at spooner2222 cause I honestly want to know.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-06-10 11:34:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-10 10:19:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just marking it down for future reference...
June 10, 2005: Reaches 150k total hits.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-06-10 02:42:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't they read the Communist Manifesto as well?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-10 02:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-06-08 23:35:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-08 01:16:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-06-07 20:50:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-06-07 20:39:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Best Board At Work post ever.
-------------------------
Fucking Republican.
======================
OMG I HATE REPUBLICANS
----------------------
Fucking Republican can't even spell "Bored" right.
------------------------
A better way to say that would be, "Fucking Republican can't even spell 'Bored' correctly."
Lazy Liberal.
Submitted by minnowtaur (user info) at 2005-06-10 02:13:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2DIE
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-06-09 17:14:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is great! I need ink a few more liberal activities into my itinerary.
Submitted by KDdid (user info) at 2005-06-09 05:59:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why do republicans have to be such asses??!!
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-09 05:59:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There are republicans on the internet? I thought they stayed put mostly on TV...
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-06-08 23:35:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-08 01:16:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-06-07 20:50:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-06-07 20:39:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Best Board At Work post ever.
-------------------------
Fucking Republican.
======================
OMG I HATE REPUBLICANS
----------------------
Fucking Republican can't even spell "Bored" right.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-06-08 19:21:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
me likey
Submitted by Zaatxe (user info) at 2005-06-08 18:29:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good, very good. This post deserves a double +2, one for being funny and other for making me glad I'm not american.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-08 12:52:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are not.
Submitted by wrabbit (user info) at 2005-06-08 12:34:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Liberals don't like pot! They are just as big a bunch of drug-war nazis as the republicans!
Submitted by blank_mind (user info) at 2005-06-08 11:11:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1:30 - Miscellaneous coveting.
3:00 - Steal babies, throw them from bridge.
------
6:45 - Infiltrate the school system to attract impressionable young student to the homosexual lifestyle.
7:00 - Miscellaneous taking the Lord's name in vain.
------
Miscellaneous coveting takes an hour and a half but infitrating the school system takes 15 minutes.. God this was great, GOLD.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-06-08 05:29:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44578
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-08 01:16:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-06-07 20:50:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-06-07 20:39:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Best Board At Work post ever.
-------------------------
Fucking Republican.
======================
OMG I HATE REPUBLICANS
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-08 00:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by android (user info) at 2005-06-07 20:27:44 (#)
Ranking: 1
i will always hate the aclu
---
I like the ACLU, but all I'm saying is I'm just going to be naturally skeptical of any organization that defends NAMBLA.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-06-07 20:50:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-06-07 20:39:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Best Board At Work post ever.
-------------------------
Fucking Republican.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2005-06-07 20:44:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stem cells spread on toast. Eeeewwwwwwww.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-06-07 20:39:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best Board At Work post ever.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-07 20:34:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Butler (user info) at 2005-06-07 19:56:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
Conservative Agenda:
<insert whining>
--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Way to miss a joke, douche.
Submitted by android (user info) at 2005-06-07 20:27:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i will always hate the aclu
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-06-07 20:11:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that you wrote this can I have my daily planner back?
Submitted by Butler (user info) at 2005-06-07 19:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Conservative Agenda:
8 am: Wake up.
9 am: Spread lies about those that oppose me
noon: Feast on the blood of the poor
3pm: Authorize oil drilling throught the world for personal profits
5pm: Order the invasion of all nations that disagree with my religious beliefs, "in God's name"
8pm: Dinner with Tom Delay to plan our next getaway.
10pm: Count my money while millions starve
11pm: Off to bed in my hyperbaric chamber
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-07 13:16:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MisterDevious (user info) at 2005-06-07 11:25:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
God, what kind of sick-ass weirdo are you? Wheaties with BANANAS!?!?!?!?!?!? Glech.
---
It's just for texture. You can barely taste them through the stem cells.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-06-07 11:40:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha. That's hilarious.
Submitted by MisterDevious (user info) at 2005-06-07 11:25:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
God, what kind of sick-ass weirdo are you? Wheaties with BANANAS!?!?!?!?!?!? Glech.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-06-07 09:06:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How did I miss this?
Seriously, this is gold!
Congrats on B@W!
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-07 04:33:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-07 04:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats on B@W
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-06-07 04:06:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty funny.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-06 08:05:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"'A well regulated Militia' sounds a little bit like the police force."
A militia that's a non-governmental body, I think they mean, since this militia is meant to rise up against the government should it ever get mad with power.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-06-06 08:02:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Auf-Der-Maur (user info) at 2005-06-05 23:02:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Amendment II
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"A well regulated Militia" sounds a little bit like the police force. I dunno if I'd call a bunch of 18 year olds shooting at pigeons in the woods "well regulated". Still I'm a European so what do I know about giving kids guns?
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-05 23:22:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah. Someone could argue "Well-regulated" means "well-armed" while another could argue it means "Not letting one person build a personal cache of assault rifles." All this militia nonsense is bullshit if you ask me. No one who buys guns is buying to protect themselves form the government.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-05 23:18:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-06-05 23:15:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Regulated by me
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-05 23:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Regulated by whom?
Submitted by Auf-Der-Maur (user info) at 2005-06-05 23:02:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Amendment II
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-05 22:52:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-05 22:38:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Liberals are anti-gun-control?"
It can be argued the constitution is pro-gun control, depending on how you interpret "well-regulated."
=--=-=-=-=-=
It says "well-regulated"? I'm no yankee so buggered if I know what's inside your constitution, but I always assumed it just said you have the right to "bear arms".
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-05 22:38:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Liberals are anti-gun-control?"
It can be argued the constitution is pro-gun control, depending on how you interpret "well-regulated."
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2005-06-05 21:41:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was fuckin funny!
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-05 21:19:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-06-05 14:19:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
+3 for being good
-1 for reminding me of arsehoels who think stuff like this.
You want to know what liberals stand for?
read the American constutution, I know you guys don't follow it anymore , but you like to think you do.
Argh im arguing with people who aren't even here.
-=-=-=-=--==-=--==--
Liberals are anti-gun-control?
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-05 18:26:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-06-05 11:19:47 (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/26812
---
My liberal agenda is, admittedly, an indirect ripoff of The Daily Show's Gay Agenda they ran a few years ago. This is close to a direct ripoff. It even follows the same joke pattern of inconpicuous events followed by one insanely conpiracle (new word) one.
Not that I think you did it intentionally...
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2005-06-05 18:20:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHERE DID YOU FIND MY DAY BOOK. i'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR IT.
(god damn caps lock, i'm not retyping that, although it would have been quicker than all of this.)
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-06-05 15:52:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Smoke pot" shows up a LOT more times on my version...
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-05 15:29:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Icedragon (user info) at 2005-06-05 15:12:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Bizarro Ann Coulter I think would look something like this...
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y202/Icedragon560/Forum/bizarroann.jpg
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This disturbed me.
This post is still awesome..."bible furnace", "stem cell pie"...haha
Submitted by Icedragon (user info) at 2005-06-05 15:12:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bizarro Ann Coulter I think would look something like this...
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y202/Icedragon560/Forum/bizarroann.jpg
Excellent schedule, spooner. I though. thought we were going to go preform dome abortions by the Bus Stop at 2:00PM. I has my gear and everything.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-05 15:02:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
6:30 - Smoke cigars lit by a burning pictures of Jesus
Submitted by MoneyG (user info) at 2005-06-05 14:45:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-06-05 14:19:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
+3 for being good
-1 for reminding me of arsehoels who think stuff like this.
You want to know what liberals stand for?
read the American constutution, I know you guys don't follow it anymore , but you like to think you do.
Argh im arguing with people who aren't even here.
______________________________________________________________
Don't bother, most can't even hear you, and the rest are so freaking dense, they wouldn't understand anyway.
+1 for Bizzaro Anne Coultor.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-06-05 14:36:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Boy, you'd hate Canada then. Our right wingers are farther left than your liberals.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-06-05 14:20:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-06-05 14:19:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+3 for being good
-1 for reminding me of arsehoels who think stuff like this.
You want to know what liberals stand for?
read the American constutution, I know you guys don't follow it anymore , but you like to think you do.
Argh im arguing with people who aren't even here.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-06-05 13:31:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-05 12:51:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JMS (user info) at 2005-06-05 10:10:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
You are a comedic genious.
Submitted by noconfidence (user info) at 2005-06-05 12:02:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Affinity: True, but we're required to refer to them as "sex workers".
Submitted by pastacheese (user info) at 2005-06-05 11:51:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aboslutly Awesome
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2005-06-05 11:46:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's funny, but I'd like to kick all the right-wing nutbags who came up with this stuff originally in the nuts for being such scum.
Thankyou for making my day.
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-06-05 11:41:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
For my day see above: but you missed
the patronising of a tramp at around 2.15pm
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-06-05 11:19:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/26812
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-05 10:11:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sounds brilliant- sign me up!
Submitted by JMS (user info) at 2005-06-05 10:10:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are a comedic genious.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-06-05 10:08:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
3:00 - Steal babies, throw them from bridge.
hahahahha
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2005-06-05 09:52:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is totally what I did yesterday.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-06-05 09:48:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Give Loki back her list.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-05 09:45:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This isn't so much a joke on liberals as it is on conservative generalizations of liberals.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-05 09:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, liberals. Always good for a laugh.
Submitted by noconfidence (user info) at 2005-06-05 09:40:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who told? Goddamnit, who's leaking our itinerary?!?
Well, atl least they can't accuse us of being slackers anymore.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-05 09:37:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was great: 8:50 - Receive methadone. Sell for pot.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-06-05 09:35:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
11:30 - Miscellaneous Sodomy.
Holy Jesus! Sodomy THAT early in the morning? Sounds like my kind of life!
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-05 09:28:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well it's the sabbath, so it counts double.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-06-05 09:24:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, today we only have 10 minutes of miscellaneous taking the Lord's name in vain?????? Shit!
Hilarious, obviously.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-05 09:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
technically, I think sodomy is anything not directly peepee-giner in nature. Oral sex and guy-chick bumsex counts, too.
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-06-05 09:18:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
11:30 Misc. Sodomy
WOOT BUTTSECKS!!