filling time on a friday afternoon (910 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.45 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Immure (View user info) at 2003-04-25 13:23:31 EDT
For shits and giggles.
On a lawnmower I had was a big label which read:
"WARNING WHEN MOTOR IS RUNNING- THE BLADE IS TURNING!"
We once bought a grocery store pizza and the instruction were on the bottom, so we turned it upside down to see how long to cook it etc., and low and behold the first instruction was DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN!
Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice...
My bathroom has inadequate ventilation and therefore, develops mold spots in the lower corners. I attempted to purchase a cleaner specifically designed to remove bathroom mold deposits. The directions on the product label stated, "Only use in well ventilated areas."
Seen on the bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle: "Do not open here."
On a bottle of spray paint: "Do not spray in your face."
On a bottle of bathtub cleaner: For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.
On a container of lighter fluid: WARNING: Contents flammable!
On a bottle of hand lotion: Warning: Starts healing skin on contact.
On a box of household nails: CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!
Microwave popcorn is packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it. Direction #1 is Remove plastic.
On a television commercial that says it cleans dentures 4 times better. Below in small print it said "Lab test: (their product) vs. water.
On a television commercial I saw it said they their denture paste was better than any other. BELOW IT, it said in small letters, vs. using no adhesive.
I have a full-face motorcycle helmet with a giant arrow pointing to the front. I can only guess that some idiot put the helmet on backwards, jumped on a bike and hurt himself. This is to protect to manufacturer from future lawsuits.
One day I went to a wall-mart out of state and I went to buy a blow dryer when I read the warnings it said "DO NOT BLOW DRY IN SLEEP"
Seen on the back of a drink bottle label: "Do not peel label off."
On a Band-Aid box: "For serious injuries, seek medical attention."
On a can of powdered infant formula: "Mix with water before serving." Like I'm going to spoon it to my baby dry!
This stupid label was found on a can of Woolite carpet cleaner: "Safe for carpets, too!"
This label was found on the BOTTOM of a box of glass ornaments: "Do not turn upside down."
On a box of Frosted Cheerio's, the logo, "Tastes so good this box never closes," is located just underneath another announcement: "To close: place tab here."
On a plastic orange juice can: "100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate."
I once saw an ad for some type of contest on a candy bar. The wrapper said "No purchase necessary - Details Inside."
Directions for eating Lunchables Nachos: Dip chips in cheese and salsa.
The golf carts on the course I worked at have warning labels saying, "Not for highway use."
On Clorox Fresh Care: (for cleaning out odors from fabric) "Safe to use in households with pets Warning: Fresh Care is NOT intended to be sprayed directly on pets."
While working at a large medical center in the Midwest, a construction worker was admitted with a large hammer sticking out of his head. Seems he was in an altercation with another gentleman. On the side of the hammer were the words, 'Use protective eyewear.'
On the back of the Pilots seat on NATO AWAC Aircraft (E-3A), is a sign that states: "Seat must be facing forward for take off and landing."
I came upon a bottle of children's cough medicine stating "Caution: May cause drowsiness; do not drive or operate heavy machinery"
On the label of Sterno is a warning that says, "Do not use near fire or flame." Check it out!
Seen on a container of salt:
Warning: High in sodium
Seen on computer instructions: Visit our site for further instructions. http://www.pc.com/pc/instructions.htm
On a hose nozzle there was a warning that said: "Do not spray into electrical outlet."
Seen on an industrial size washer in our local laundry establishment was the (large lettered) sign: "Warning: Do not put any person in this washer."
There is also a stroller on the market with the warning, "Remove child before folding."
I saw a car ad depicting cars driving in the water with fins like sharks. At the end of the ad in small letters it read: "Caution, do not drive underwater"
User Reviews
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-04-26 13:26:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The thing about the golf cart might be needed...there were some students arrested here at the university for stealing a golf cart and trying to drive it on the highway. Police had no trouble catching them because, well, they were in a golf cart on the highway.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2003-04-25 18:13:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
played out
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-04-25 15:54:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's sad to see the warning labels and think, shit someone must have tried that.
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2003-04-25 15:44:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I like this kind of stuff.
Unfortunately, I've been filling time in at work with WORK. IT SUCKS!
Submitted by blujnbbyqn (user info) at 2003-04-25 15:15:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A few years ago while we were house-hunting I was out driving around, doing the lookie-loo thing with my son. At 7 years old, he was a new but avid reader. Every sign we passed - he read out loud. We drove into the sub-division that we live in now and passed a playground. He looked over at the yellow sign, studied it for a second, then turned to me and warned me in his most authoritative voice, "Caution, Mom. There are slow children playing." I thought I would never stop laughing. The best part is that I get to see that sign several times a day. It never fails to make me smile.
Michelle
Submitted by HeavensWalls (user info) at 2003-04-25 15:13:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was reading my bottle of generic mouth wash the other day, and it pissed me off. You know on most labels of things like that, it merely says "Keep out of reach of children". This was different. It said "Keep this and ALL drugs away from children", like they were trying to be a fucking parent or something. I don't know, it just pissed me off...
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-04-25 14:33:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There was a warning on a Korean knife that said "Caution--keep out of children"
And my mom bought a pair of Chinese stress balls and there is a warning in the instructional packet that says "Caution: avoid dangerous collisions"
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-04-25 14:29:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I believe that warning labels should be removed... It will help aide in the process of elimination... If your actually dumb enough to do any of these things (whoever made directions on the bottom of a box that your not supposed to turn over should be shot) should die or horribly maimed and disfigured or whatever else the consequence would be of these actions... Warning labels are around to keep fools in good health... I say fuck the fools and let them drink gasoline or stick their hand in the lawn mower or insert a hot curling iron up their choch/ass...
Submitted by rubixxcube (user info) at 2003-04-25 14:26:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
There was another car commercial where the car crowd surfs at a concert, warning at the bottom "do not drive car on people"
On another note usually there is a reason for these labels, either as a protection against idiots who may do these things or because somebody has already done what they are warning against. Car ones are probably a jsut in case, but ones such as don't spray cleaner on pets, that may be a result of someone trying to belach there pet.
Another example, i worked at an amusement park that also had a drive thru safari, and when i was at orientation(i worked in the rides aread) they had all these rules about what would get you fired immediately, things such as calling out but coming in to get your paycheck that same day, not coming in and not calling 3 days in a row etc... well the last 3 were something of the nature:
Entering animal pens, playing with animals or riding the animals in the safari without permission is grounds for immediate dismisal.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-04-25 14:02:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How about shampoo. Lather-rinse-repeat
Help I'm stuck in a loop.
Submitted by BlueDuck (user info) at 2003-04-25 13:27:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why do most of these sound like challenges to me?
Submitted by Immure (user info) at 2003-04-25 13:24:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn. forgot the link, here it is http://www.sebourn.com