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UBERCONTEST: Erase and rewrite. (1025 hits)

Category: None

Rating: 2 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)

Submitted by girlintheworld (View user info) at 2005-06-06 07:18:37 EDT

The Backstory:

Quite simply put, I'm just messing with things for no particular reason. Let's just say I thought of it to be whimsical.

This may especially help authors who are in a bit of a rut as far as new writing material goes.

***

The Rules:

This might be tricky, but hopefully I will explain it thoroughly.

Click on your "My Uber" link.

Take sentences and phrases from at least 5 old posts and create an entirely new post. If you have a really good paragraph, you can use it, but try to be creative.

You may change the sentences you have selected in order to fit more cohesively with your story. However, they should be mostly recognizable if compared to the original. The rest can be weaved from your lovely imaginations.

Your story may be fiction or non-fiction, but not something that is broken up into parts, at least as far as this contest goes.

At the end of the story, you must reference which posts you used. More hits means... more hits, and ratings, etc.

You have a week from today, Monday. Contest ends at 7 p.m. CST.

Winner gets +2s, yadda yadda yadda. And maybe a drink once I turn 21. We'll see how it goes.

Good luck. I've provided my own example below.

***

The sun broke down today. I let the silence settle in between us, and watch the sky crawl from its powdery blue to a blush pink. Everything about the sky seems a little more faded these days—I have allowed it to become so. As if to say, "Yeah, I remember that one time, but you're just not worth it anymore. You and I, we just don't 'mesh' well together." Oh, more comforting words were never spoken!!!

I find that this is just one more lie. Driving has never given me much comfort. I watch the sky for a sign. Something to tell me that the sun will blaze. But I have gone further than I should; the black hole is pulling me in and as I claw for ground, for sanctity, I am disappearing. Maybe the best thoughts are the ones that are never said. I leave it to my car to keep me safe.

I'm exhausted, but I must put my thoughts somewhere. The highway is mine. We are connecting and sharing a bond—my wheels to its paved confidence. I need to sort things out.

Why is it that I feel the need to solve all problems with sex? The lusting, thirsty backlash hits me every time. If he's on top, then it's a great day. If I'm on top, fuck me, and then fuck me harder. Make me forget. And let me keep time while we make love. But I'm not oblivious. I know that today's problems will be tomorrow's problems which were still there yesterday on top of the ones I thought of this morning, and the ones that are awaiting me now. Sigh. I wish I could feel as orgasmic as life makes me feel when it fucks me over.

I can feel non-existent today if I want to. I can tell the trees to look the other way. That's what they're there for. No longer am I trying to live a fairytale. Guys aren't princes all of the time, and I sure as hell ain't singing to little birdies. I'd rather smack one with my side mirror. However, it would be fitting to let them take a shit first—might as well let me know what they think of me, too.

The wonder ceased long ago, became stale and bitter on my tongue. Even here, I can still feel your eyes burning, taunting my indecision. I see that things are crumbling, and that we're in the middle of a modern day mirage. Concealing is an art, but I won't tell you. And so 500 miles later, I'm deciding.

Fuck the sun. I need a storm.

References:

1. http://www.ubersite.com/m/30847
2. http://www.ubersite.com/m/50548
3. http://www.ubersite.com/m/52977
4. http://www.ubersite.com/m/53048
5. http://www.ubersite.com/m/53157
6. http://www.ubersite.com/m/57504
7. http://www.ubersite.com/m/58463
8. http://www.ubersite.com/m/59271
9. http://www.ubersite.com/m/60404
10. http://www.ubersite.com/m/66701
11. http://www.ubersite.com/m/67663

User Reviews

Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2005-06-13 20:23:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

So... is it judging time?

Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-06-06 12:02:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

we'll see if i have the time and/or patience.

if i cant come up with anything coherent, i'll probably post it on Thursday... ;)

Submitted by girlintheworld (user info) at 2005-06-06 12:01:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Oh, and DeathJester, I don't get your HCJr. reference.

Submitted by girlintheworld (user info) at 2005-06-06 11:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Thank you Darko, for being so very perceptive. :)

Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-06-06 08:35:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Remember people, you have a week to do this and polish it. Make something good and don't all post this today.

Submitted by Hirilnara (user info) at 2005-06-06 08:15:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Good idea - here's my attempt
http://www.ubersite.com/m/67863
I'm going to assume I understood and did this right...if not I still have a new story, so I'm happy

Submitted by girlintheworld (user info) at 2005-06-06 08:04:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Thorpe, don't worry about it. You have a whole week. And it doesn't have to be something necessarily magnificent. I don't think mine was, by any means. It was just something to be creative. Have fun with it, you know?

Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-06-06 08:03:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Harry Connick Jr fan?

Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-06 08:01:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

With my posts, this is hardly possible. I give up. This is what i had written down before I gave up -

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think. Always be careful when you are walking carelessly never to step on midget public transport.

Isn't he just superb???

This round goes to the frisbee thrower.

Woohoo I was just elected President

Foetal position... will be safe in the foetal position. I already know I look like I'm twelve years old. You don't have to tell me.

Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-06 07:53:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I don't have enough posts to construct a coherent story, so I'll write mine as a review here. Don't worrry about the contest, I forfeit. It still sounds fun. Good idea.

Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-06 07:48:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

An actual post? I would but I got something I wrote I'm going to post in a few hours.

Submitted by girlintheworld (user info) at 2005-06-06 07:31:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I liked it. But it would be easier for me if you did an actual post, and not just left me a comment so other people could rate it. Is that cool with you?

Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-06 07:23:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I did this after the first round of UberMadness last year, so I'll just post that.

---

A collection of paperback books, the first of her possessions moved into his home. She stood up, pulled her shirt back on, as she said, "I hope the couch is comfortable for you" and bitched her way back to the condo. For the time being, Doug's mind was having enough trouble focusing on the task in hand- navagating his way home with a raging hangover and a meagre daylight. I labored the door shut behind me, and a small, older gentleman of Asian descent smiled and nodded in my direction.

His blonde headed friend looked thoughtful, as though contemplating what precisely he could say to convey his point without sounding patronizing.

Mickey greeted me with a laid-back, "'S'up?"

"Disculpa Puta, quita el humo del cigarro de mi cara" I shouted at the ugly bitch.

Glenn laughed, "Nevermind me, you old bastard. So how have things been since I've been gone?" He turned to the bar manager:

"I want that banana," Evan said, tearing open another box of cereal. I was swiftly kneed in the nuts. His moment of realisation was painful, intensified by the reverberations of the explosion followed by a sudden muting of all noise around him. This it did, but not quite in the way I'd been hoping for.

I remember my fourth grade teacher telling us: Why is the milkshake machine always broke when I really need a milkshake? Everyone in that hen-house knew that their day of death would come when their egg production halted, it was by no means a secret.

"What if I decide to stop taking my birth control?" she asked.

It turned out he had won.

I've never in my life heard anyone cry that loudly or that much. Glenn just sighed again. Standing in front of him was an old man, dressed in a black suit with an overcoat on. Tom Cruise was making pancakes.

*Spank *spank

"OH FUCK YEAH! I'M CUMMING ON YOUR TITS, BITCH! TURN AROUND!"

He swiveled back just in time to catch the climax of the scene where the man withdraws and proceeds to shoot his love potion all over the woman's beautiful face.

Instead she decided to tackle the unpacking of some old cardboard boxes that threatened to dump their contents if one didn't hold the bottom securely. Maybe it is better that they called you, when I was supposed to be arriving in Connecticut.

I left her body there and walked away.

The fire reached high into the afternoon sky as the brick and wood house burned brightly, almost blocking out the sun's rays with the intensity of the light and heat. And that was exactly what that son of a bitch was counting on.

I wish this day would fucking end.