The Biggest Mistake of Your Life (1061 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.4 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by prophet (View user info) at 2005-06-07 13:04:34 EDT
In the two hours it took to drive home from the base every other week, Tommy had just one thought on his mind: his dearest Jenna. Though the two had only been together for scarcely a year and were still experiencing the lucid highs of what many would classify as puppy love founded in vehement lust and naïve infatuation, in his heart Tommy was sure that his love was true as the coming of the morrow's sun. Not a waking moment passed that he didn't have Jenna on his mind, and when not actively engaged in thinking of the times they had enjoyed together or the her many traits that he adored so much, there were thousands of mundane things around him that constantly triggered thoughts of her.
He would be standing out in the rain listening to the company Captain perform the bimonthly barracks review, and as the officer admonished him and his peers for the smallest oversights, only a focused inattention remained on the events taking place. All the while, part of his consciousness would remain in the memories of running out in thunderstorms with her... rolling around in the puddles and getting soaked to the bone, laughing and playing with the innocence of youth. Occasionally, his fond thoughts brought an inappropriate smile to his face and in turn incurred reprisal from his superiors. He never regretted it, though, and the rare instances where he was punished for his lack of focus only gave him further opportunity to reflect.
He would spend what little free time he had on the base talking to her on the phone or writing her fond letters expressing his undying passion. The others would jest that she was more a wife than a girlfriend, referring to her as the old lady or the ball and chain, and rather than take offense he revelled in such comments. Though he said nothing of it to his army friends, he would have gladly married her the very next day if he thought she would be ready for such a commitment.
But they were young. Tommy only twenty years old and Jenna scarcely eighteen, and neither of them were truly ready to take that plunge... even if they secretly thought that they could make it work. Tommy had a few more years before he would be making enough money from serving in active military duty to support the two of them, and Jenna relied on subsidy and lodging from her parents to continue her collegiate schooling.
She was only a semester into her studies at a prestigious school that provided her with a full scholarship, and she had continued the tradition arduously maintained through her entire high school career of achieving straight A marks. She even set a precedent in her high school by being the first female on the varsity wrestling team-- because though she was easily beautiful enough to be one of the cheerleaders, her two brothers and father had instilled in her a sense of determination that drove her to consistently test her limits. Her eldest brother had become an eagle scout and placed second in the national wrestling championships for his weight class before enlisting in the National Guard and moving overseas to serve.
Though often lonely when not in Tommy's presence, there is profound truth in the timeless adage that "absence makes the heart grow fonder"-- and this could not be more applicable to Jenna. The moments she spent apart from the man who made her feel complete only intensified the passionate romance they embraced when he was off duty. Her mother was quite accommodating of their relationship, allowing the two young lovebirds to share a bed in the cozy, finely renovated basement of her house. Jenna's father would never have allowed such extramarital indiscretion, and yet he was himself stationed on the other side of the Atlantic, and had been for three years now. Though he knew of his daughter's new love and approved of the character of her suitor (a laudable accomplishment for Tommy in light of her father's onerous standards), Jenna's dad was largely unaware of just how close the two had become in his absence.
As was the case with every trip back to the sequestered domicile which remained unperturbed by the outside world for the two days he and his lady love had together only twice a month, Tommy's thoughts were only upon seeing Jenna again. Pulling into the driveway, his face brightened as he spotted Jenna rising from the porch steps where she had been patiently awaiting his arrival as she often did. She exuberantly ran into his arms and the two shared a lascivious kiss to consummate their reuniting. Tommy noticed that she seemed even more excited than usual, a broad smile plastered to her face even after their lips parted.
"Baby, I have the BEST news! You're going to be SO happy..." cooed Jenna. Tommy smiled as he thought of what this amazing revelation might be. His face quickly adopted a concern that unnerved his eternal soulmate, however, when she casually shattered his illusions of security: "I'm pregnant."
______________________________________________________________________________________
The above story is true, though the names have been changed to protect the privacy of my family. It's happening, right now, to my eighteen year old cousin... who up until last week has been the shining star of our family, and the one most likely to succeed among us. She has always been the most determined individual I have ever known, and yet her father's staunch refusal to allow her to date during high school has caused her to naïvely believe that there is nothing that could come between her and her boyfriend, and now that she can handle the responsibilities of a child. She simply hasn't had any experience in relationships.
Her mother has only catalyzed this incident by allowing her daughter to share a bed with another man in her home at eighteen. Yes, almost all of us have had sex by that age. But to allow your child to sleep with an older man nightly is to provoke such an "accident"... and her daughter is far too young to bear the responsibilities of child rearing.
Yet mother dearest encourages them into parenting-- not because she's against adoption or abortion per se, but rather because she does not feel validated when she isn't assisting in raising a child. When her daughter graduated high school she immediately felt the natural emotions of emptiness a mother enters into when all the children have grown up, and rather than dealing with those psychological issues she threw her energies into helping her firstborn son raise a son of his own (at only twenty-two with a woman he absolutely hated and chose not to marry), and later, a daughter (at twenty-four with a wife he is now divorcing two years later).
I hold my cousin in high regard, but she has watched the quality of life diminish significantly for her brother under the constraints of parenting, and lived through a struggling childhood because of her parents' mistakes in raising children too young. I know she is smarter than this, but she's caught up in the emotions surrounding her love for her boyfriend and the love for a new life coming into the world.
I share this with the Ubersite community in hopes that those of you out there who actually have a soul and don't simply desire to callously pass this off as stupidity on the parts of all involved will have some insight into how these two children can progress... or perhaps on how I might advise them such that they do not ruin opportunities to have a successful home and career along with a happy family. They are not financially stable or prepared for this and I simply don't know what I can do to help.
Yes, they made a stupid mistake by having unprotected sex. And no, it's not my place to rush in and fix everything. But it's a matter that affects my family, and there isn't anyone in the country with the concern and the testicular fortitude to offer them sound counsel in the matter. Her oldest brother is a strong enough man to do it, but he is stationed in Kuwait with the National Guard-- and her father is the one who SHOULD be doing it, but he's off in Iraq.
In many ways I have been another big brother to her as she's grown up, and I'd like to be able to continue to help. To do that, I could really use some advice from a bunch of random Internet strangers that I have never actually seen face to face.
Thanks.
User Reviews
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:25:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:26:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
stfu n00b
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-06-22 14:35:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ProgramGeek (user info) at 2005-06-22 14:13:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your fucking terrible. Biggest mistake of your life would be to read this.
Submitted by Alter (user info) at 2005-06-18 18:09:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-06-16 12:57:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BTW... you oughta e-mail me sometime. cookielass24.at.yahoo.com
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-06-16 12:31:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice read.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-06-16 12:08:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The ovaries, darling. not the uterus.
btw... would you like to attend my pants party? I mean.. uh... party. In the pants. The pants party.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-06-15 16:25:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-06-14 20:51:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
I can only imagine how frustrated you must be; it's like watching a movie you've seen thousands of times, when you yell at the hero to not go into that room because his arch-nemesis is in there. As difficult as it might be, I would avoid giving thoughts unless she requests them. And if she does, don't sugar-coat it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Misa Spahkalo? Oh, konichiwa!
You're dead on about the movie thing. It's an excellent analogy. I haven't given her my two cents yet, simply because she hasn't brought it up to me or told me the news personally. The moment she mentions the topic, she's getting a verbal fist to the uterus. Straight shot to the baby-maker.
Now- were there really 846 other people with the username "MrSparkle" registered on this site?
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-06-14 20:51:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can only imagine how frustrated you must be; it's like watching a movie you've seen thousands of times, when you yell at the hero to not go into that room because his arch-nemesis is in there. As difficult as it might be, I would avoid giving thoughts unless she requests them. And if she does, don't sugar-coat it.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-06-14 20:22:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Lordy.... you went back and singlehandedly bumped my overall rating from 1.34 to 1.37.... you're the best Uberboyfriend EVAR!!
Let's refuse to get married and have uberbabies! It'll be bliss!
Submitted by Rads_wife (user info) at 2005-06-13 23:04:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68315
WINNER!!!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-06-08 12:47:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, i just saw your comment on my camping post.
Go here www.djmattb241.com/ubercon for info. There are some guys driving from NH that may be able to fit you in their car. Val is driving from Boston, and I think she has room for one more, too.
aim me: cornnugget78
val: urbanemischief
Submitted by hobbs (user info) at 2005-06-08 08:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*cough*abortion*cough*
Submitted by Lobsterkins (user info) at 2005-06-07 21:42:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I didn't read any of this, but I saw your logo and haha'd
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-06-07 21:15:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Is this going to hurt [them]?
-no.
Then why are we doing it?"
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-07 20:12:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Coming to Uber with this was probably a mistake.
However, think you can urge your cousin into adoption? 18 is too young.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-07 16:07:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2005-06-07 13:23:56 (#)
Ranking: 1
Ugh.
Teenagers usually don't know shit.
And it's not their fault, they're just not experienced enough.
If she's been 'sheltered' most of her life (as many over-achievers are) chances are she has no idea how to deal with difficult, boring, predictable, drudging, monotonous, exhausting life with kid(s).
If the boyfriend splits after he finds out he can't take it, what is she to do? What of her promising career and life? Is the 18 year-old to be defined as a mother from here on out, winding up like her own mother?
Good luck to them, and to you as well.
___
Sorry, but I gotta go with Dave - it does not look good.
I'd go with an abortion.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-06-07 15:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice drawing of your Vanilla Ice doll, Sparky.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-07 15:17:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
18 isn't that young. They'll be fine. Offer them your time and support, and money if you have it.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-06-07 14:57:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well it's good and bad news mate. On the plus side they'll be just fine. Ith her mum to support her she'll be ok raising the little'un. If this guy truly loves her then he'll stick by her and won't resent her. They'll both be very happy and they'll do just fine.
However you mention the chap is in the army. That's going to cause a world of hurt. If he can get the fuck out and get a nice sensible job and actually support the woman and child he loves then they'll be fine.
Secondly if he's the kind of person who get's angry, ever, for whatever reason, then they're going to be in trouble. That shit is a sign that he'll have trouble coping with extreme emotional situations. In a more stable environment it wouldn't be as big a deal but he could fly of the rails and do something dumb. Just one argument, just one act of callousness could breed righteouss indignation in him and devastate her. If she loses hope then it will go hard for them all.
This is not a bad situation. This is a wonderful thing and they could be about as happy as any person can be. She's got the right attitude, her mother has the right attitude. If he does not have the right attitude, combined with sensetivity and a real desire to be a father with this girl he will fail them. The love will die.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-06-07 14:27:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess I can't really help following the line....
"To do that, I could really use some advice from a bunch of random Internet strangers that I have never actually seen face to face."
...... as I have had the (mis)fortune of meeting you face to face.
But for what it is worth, if she decides to go through with it just offer your emotional (and financial, if you can) support should things go FUBAR.
Good luck either way, to both of you.
-Dave
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-06-07 13:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-06-07 13:12:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
nice ghey logo
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Since it's only a black and white sketch of my face... I can only assume you're coming on to me.
I'm truly sorry to let you down, but I'm just not interested. I know you thought my logo was nice and somehow got the impression from the picture of my face that I am ghey, but I'm afraid your gheydar is malfunctioning. It's not you, really. You're a nice fellow. I just don't love the cock. That doesn't mean that it's wrong for YOU to love the cock. Well, actually, yes it does. It means that it's wrong for you to love the cock. But I'm not here to preach. I just hope some day you can find a nice young man who will offer his pooper for you to insert your penis into.
We're all just PEOPLE, after all.
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2005-06-07 13:23:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ugh.
Teenagers usually don't know shit.
And it's not their fault, they're just not experienced enough.
If she's been 'sheltered' most of her life (as many over-achievers are) chances are she has no idea how to deal with difficult, boring, predictable, drudging, monotonous, exhausting life with kid(s).
If the boyfriend splits after he finds out he can't take it, what is she to do? What of her promising career and life? Is the 18 year-old to be defined as a mother from here on out, winding up like her own mother?
Good luck to them, and to you as well.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-06-07 13:19:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually....
He would get a nice pay raise if he got married. A baby would give him another raise. She would also be eligible for military lodging. They could live as an army couple, where they could both raise the baby as a family - but still be only a two hour drive from grandma. If she's the type that likes a challenge, a baby won't stop her from going to school, even if it's only attending part-time.
It'll work out.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-06-07 13:12:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nice ghey logo
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2005-06-07 13:10:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you're still here? -2 DIE