The reason I should/could be fired or why I should be promoted. (1191 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dumb JobsRating: 1.54 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Xcuses (View user info) at 2005-06-07 20:58:02 EDT
Needless to say, like many of you, I am bored at work. Not bored some of the time- ALL OF THE TIME. That's not true, I like going to the bathroom, reading articles I printed off, after a hearty lunch. This is the best part of the day, except for the moment I walk out the door each day AFTER work. Pretty much the hours between 7:30a and 6p suck ass. I'm way overqualified to do what I'm doing, but I'm also pretty lazy when it comes to looking for something else so here we are....
Since my job does not challenge me, I find that I get bored pretty easily at work. Lately, I have spent many hours on this site, reading story after story, reviewing some and passing by others. It's not that I couldn't be doing something productive at work, I just choose not to. I've been interviewing for other positions within my company (which I really don't want to do anyway) but I have to keep my options open. Most of my day comprises of non-work related activities. As many hours as I work, that's a lot of screwing around.
I work with an ex-football player. Suffice to say, he's not the sharpest tool in the shed or fill in your favorite cliché about dumb people and football players <Blonde joke could be inserted here too>. Since I am HIS supervisor, I get to pawn off all my bullshit work on him, just to free up more time to do...........nothing. When I first started here, our sales were shit. I feel confident in saying that the hard work I USED to put in paid off as our sales grew over 100% in a fairly short period of time. It's been months since I've done any substantial work. Thanks to Uber, I can fill my days with no problem.
There are some days that I wondering if I did anything productive at all. I'm just waiting for someone to call me in their office and say, "What the fuck have you been doing the last few months...?" At that point I would just turn my back, go to my desk, pick up a few personal belongings, and go on my merry way. I might do that "Whose comin' with me routine" but only if I was feeling super gey. What else could I do??? I've been slacking. You could look up the definition in Webster's under Underachiever, and you'd see a big fat picture of me (I'm not fat) sitting there, smiling, ever so smug.
It's gotten so bad that I actually LEAVE work, and come back when people are gone just to finish posts like this. Yes, it is sad. Yes it is disappointing, but what the fuck are you gonna due. Work hard? Show some initiative? That seems like it would take an awful amount of effort and frankly, I'm a bit tired. I've seen the movie Officespace, seems realistic enough to me.
So the next time I get called in my boss' office, I'm going to look him squarely in the face and ask......"Am I getting a promotion?"
User Reviews
Submitted by inbreakingnewsT.A.N. (user info) at 2005-09-23 09:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by alragusa (user info) at 2005-07-28 23:42:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would +3 this one...
I'm just waiting for someone to call me in their office and say, "What the fuck have you been doing the last few months...?"
LMAO!!! This is me, all the way.
I work in a cube doing database support and aside from projects which come along, I really don't have work that's calculable (like sales#s). I wouldn't say I do "nothing" all day but I spend about 2 hours on Uber, 1 hour on Hotjobs/Monster, and check my mail 3-4 times. Oh, and about an hour on Criagslist. I also come in 1/2 hour late. I take two 1/2 hour breaks in addition to my 1 hour lunch. When one of my bosses asks me what I'm doing, I say "working on the network" and they keep walking. The guy who sits across from me and I have an inside joke, "What are we doing here?!" I have been on 4 interviews in 5 months. One of these days I will tell my boss to fuck off and quit. I can't wait.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-01 12:03:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish my job was boring!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-07-01 11:44:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-06-09 10:14:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Morning??? what are you doing up at 2am.....naughty little girl
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2005-06-09 02:23:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
mornin X - i know you were kidding bout the crack ;)
Submitted by hawkeynut (user info) at 2005-06-08 17:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a shitty job as an insurance broker. I'm 22 years old and the next youngest person in my office is 47. Because they are so much older, they have a lot less experience with computers and don't know how to work as efficiently (ex. saving documents twice and printing and photocopying once). I have a desk in the middle of the office, my supervisor sits right behind me and can see every single thing I do and I can still do less than an hour of work per day and still have higher sales than everyone else. Slacking is fun
Submitted by Haggard (user info) at 2005-06-08 16:30:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I feel your pain.
But I still hate you.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-06-08 13:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, my sense of humor might give the wrong impression. I joke A LOT. Keep up the writing!!!
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2005-06-08 13:09:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-06-08 10:22:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
My bad.....must be the crack kicking in
Thats why i ask ;)
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-06-08 11:28:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, don't touch the stuff. Why do you ask?
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2005-06-08 10:54:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Glad to hear it. get any good crack lately?
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-06-08 10:24:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My girl is good. I am making dinner for her and another couple tomorrow night. Gotta show off some of my cooking talents. Life's good, can't complain...expect in my posts.
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2005-06-08 10:22:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL - i dig this one. Hey Xcuses, how's your girl doing? how's life in general?
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-06-08 08:51:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I figure I have another few weeks before I'm going to have to make a "jail break" I'm actually thinking of starting my own biz. We'll see...
Submitted by WellFedEthiopian (user info) at 2005-06-07 23:45:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Your post definitely reminds me of my job. I spend the entire day reading the newspaper online, eat cookies, and maybe do about an hours worth of real work. The best part is, my manger and district manager loves me because my team is number one in our district. Milk it for all its worth, baby.
Submitted by Lucylou (user info) at 2005-06-07 23:12:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
In my job, we have to account for every 6 minutes of our time. You're in the crapper for 6 minutes, you write it down. You pick your nose and stare at the photo of yourself and your parents that sits on your desk, trying to work out which one you look more like for 11 minutes, you write it down. You spend 34 minutes plotting an escape route out of the building for when that crazy Croatian guy on the other side of the floor finally goes postal, you...well, you get the point.
Luckily, having worked here a few months now, I've got a little creative. Now, reading ubersite becomes, on my timesheet, "miscellaneous web-based research". Love it.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-06-07 22:59:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how long will your sham last?
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2005-06-07 21:49:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I always enjoy posts like this.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-06-07 21:13:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-06-07 21:10:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
congratulations, your life sucks. if uber is your only light, then maybe you should snuff it out to make the rest brighter.
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and give up my moonlighting career as a circus clown.......no thank you
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-06-07 21:10:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where you been twin?
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-06-07 21:10:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
congratulations, your life sucks. if uber is your only light, then maybe you should snuff it out to make the rest brighter.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-06-07 21:00:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
holy shit, did I pass out and write a post under a different name?