May the lord have mercy on my ass (long) (735 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.67 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Peckerhead (View user info) at 2005-06-09 11:48:06 EDT
This is not an Uber-madness submission nor is it polished fiction. The good news is that my writers block is clearing and I have a few solid ideas for upcoming posts. I just got a book in the mail today. It's called, "the Pen Commandments". Readers of my last post should get a chuckle out of that.
Following is a truncated e-mail which starts with me (Me Before), continues with responses from "the wife" and then more responses from (Me After). The original e-mail was done in contrasting colors but as you know, I do not have that luxury here so please bear with me on that. Also, this site would SO benefit by adding Bold, Italics and Underline but bart has already heard this a thousand times so no need to repeat it here. Maybe the logic is that *real* writers should not need these tools!?
My wife has a 13 year old daughter and I am the step-dad. Any parent or step-parent of a 13 year old knows all too well that this person is mid-way through "that difficult age" which begins at around 2 and ends at 22. I see reviews challenging authors with: "I hope your son/daughter grows up and reads what you wrote when she is older." Today, I take up that challenge. Amy, this is your 23rd birthday and you are reading what your terrible and tyrannical step-dad wrote back in June of 2005. (I may or may not edit out some of the profanity.)
The e-mail goes as follows:
----- Original Message -----
from: wife
To: Daniel
Sent: Tuesday, June 07, 2005 10:33 PM
Subject: Re: Summer School
Me Before:
Hi Sweetheart,
Thanks for the e-mail re lunches and the lawn and gardens. I am going to have a close look tomorrow and may cut certain sections of the lawn. If I wait too long and we have many days of rain in a row then it will be too long and really hard to cut.
the wife:
I agree with you. I looked at it and wondered if I should get the lawn mower out before I watered the gardens but I ran out of time and energy. Sorry.
Me Before:
No problem, dear. I will get at this just as soon as I finish this e-mail. I will also run those empty propane cylinder bottles and dead batteries out to the recycling center.
Note: My wife, Amy and I are in a new home and doing our civic duty along the "green" lines; garbage sorting, recycling etc.
the wife: Thanks for doing the e-mail to Kevin & Heather. I am optimistically looking forward to Friday night and hoping the Lost Boys make it to Shakespeare Arms Pub.
Me Before: I may drop into Shakespeare Arms on my way home from work Thurs 9th and look at the notice boards, ask a waitress or two -- and try to verify if Lost Boys are coming.
(Shakespeare Arms is an amazing and unique pub. It pulls in acts and bands that are older or semi-retired, new or "up and coming" or bands that weren't quite good enough - but were damned close!) **I'm toying with the idea of an Uber get-together at 'Shakespeare' sometime in the future; It would be an excellent venue for something like this.**
the wife:
I have left a paper on the table regarding the Summer School. I am thinking of just the math for Amy (2.5 hours per day). The "late assignments" re English are from when we were away. I faxed the school and asked them to provide her with work to do while we were away. (an out of the country vacation) The only work that came home was Math and Science. The English teacher said something along the lines of she did not know what the students would be doing then. Well it turns out she gave them a project to do the day after we left and it was due in the day we arrived back. Amy was given an extension of 1 night or something entirely stupid and impossible. It was something that was going to set her up to fail and I should have called the school but did not.
Me AFTER:
This was unfair of the English teacher and I do not condone this sort of tactic at all -- HOWEVER, this is not the last time that Amy will be treated unfairly. I could tell you many stories of how I was treated unfairly, taken advantage of... put in my place etc. both at school but especially out in the work force. In my opinion, this might be good exposure for Amy and a preview of things to come. I don't have to explain the 'unfairness' of real life to you because I am certain you already understand.
the wife:
I mentioned to Amy about only doing Math and she seemed more happy with that than with having to do both. I think we would find that she just might not attend if we forced her to do both. I don't know but it is not a risk I am willing to take given that the classes are at Willow Road school. (a rough area of town)
**Me After**
This is a tough one. I am prepared to accept this compromise position and let Amy only do the math... but I must tell you that I am hearing too many comments along the lines of: "I'm not doing that." or "You/he/she/they can't make me do that." Rob (a friend) picked up on something at Bronte Creek; I did not catch the whole conversation but his response to Amy was, "What are you going to do when you get your first job?!" The implication was clear. In fact, "they" CAN and WILL make Amy do certain things which she may not wish to do. Amy is a strong willed person and I fear for her a little. One way or another, she must gain acceptance of the idea that she will be required to follow direction from authority figures including a) her mother and step-dad b) Teachers and principals c) employers and Bosses
The simple fact of the matter is that you, me and Amy are not in the income bracket that gets a lot of choice in these areas. Another concept -- and I get this one from the parenting books, articles etc. -- is that of *consequences*. I understand that Amy is not inclined towards mathematics. However, I am completely convinced that if she had spent 50% of her TV watching time doing math homework then she would very likely have passed and would not have to attend summer school; The lesson here is clear: Watching too much TV (combined with some general laziness) leads to unpleasant consequences - like summer school.
I have read both sheets of paper from Amy's school. Did you see that this "summer school" session is only ten days? 4.5 hours a day for ten short days is *not* that much work. Amy will still have nearly two full months off before starting high school. You mentioned yourself that "it will be good and give her something structured to do for part of her summer." Personally, I feel that she would benefit more by doing both the math *and* English.
Honey, you know Amy better than me and I will go along with any decision you make. Please consider what I have said above and then make the choice. I will not be coming back to you saying "you should have done this" or "you should have done that". If the account of the English teacher is correct then he/she is what most *Ubersite* members (including females) would call a CUNT! Obviously, you will not mention that to Amy.
I hope you are having a good day at work.
all my love,
Dan
------------------------------------------
Clearly, Amy got Owned by the English teacher. I'm not sure if I should go shake the English teachers hand or give her a good swift kick in the balls.
What do you guys think?
User Reviews
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-06-14 12:14:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-09 11:53:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
The format of this post is needlessly contrived and confusing. This would have been a much better story if you had laid it out in a traditional linear form, with more background.
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In self defense, I was deliberately trying to spice the story up a little. The last thing I wanted was for it to come across as, "Oh poor me, I'm having problems communicating with my 13 year old step-daughter." The challenge was to not let the story get lame or boring or self indulgent.
Also, I think I lost many readers with the title, which was more or less an inside joke with readers of my last post. If I could go back and change something, the title would be the first thing. Oh well. Live and learn.
Submitted by Jarik (user info) at 2005-06-09 18:48:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
shake the teachers hand, its pretty near imposible to kick women in the nuts.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-06-09 13:31:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Deidra and Jeannee,
I fully agree with your very constructive criticism. I knew I was taking a chance trying to translate a multi-colored e-mail into a coherent story. Thank you both for taking the time to read it.
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-09 12:00:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I found this difficult to read, but need to give you kudos for being a caring step-parent.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-09 11:53:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The format of this post is needlessly contrived and confusing. This would have been a much better story if you had laid it out in a traditional linear form, with more background.
That said, God bless you for taking on the role of step-parent of a teenage girl. I was 13 when my mom started dating the man who is now my stepdad (they married when I was 16), and I did not give him an easy time. He stuck in there, thank goodness, and now we are very close.
You and Amy will be friends one day.