Bart Has An Alter. (1177 hits)
Category: NewsRating: -0.46 on 51 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by quack (View user info) at 2005-06-09 19:36:38 EDT
At least, I would think so. Think about it. Bart spends less and less time on this site under his original (userid:1) name. I would either attribute this to a busy schedule -- work, etc -- or a desire to further his professional career. If Bart were seen on Ubersite, arguing and getting into all of the stupid "har har peener" discourses that are so commonplace on Ubersite, he wouldn't seem as professional to future employers. He still lists Ubersite in his resume (http://www.cilfone.com/resume.html), so anyone thinking of hiring him would be directed here and might find his posts. Resultantly, for Bart to continue using this site, it would make sense for him to have an alter, wouldn't it? The question is, who might it be? Care to own up, Bart? Discuss.
User Reviews
Submitted by Alter (user info) at 2007-09-26 21:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's an alter?
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:34:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
It would be "Cilfowned," not "Clifowned."
Cilfowned sounds cooler anyhow.
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2005-06-13 08:07:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by Draqus (user info) at 2005-06-10 09:46:30 (#)
Ranking: -1
Clifowned, idiot.
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I normally don't respond to typo-spotting, but this gave me another chance to -2 this post. Oh, and suck my cock.
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2005-06-11 00:16:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks for that reply, bart. i was directing the latter half of my comment at sphagnum, but i feel like i understand your viewpoint and rationale.
i don't get why people act the way they do, as far as internet threats, etc, but i really was just wondering about the possibility of you having alternate personas. maybe that's an "if i was bart i would.." statement, but there's no harm in speculation.
and for the record. i do not actually suck cock. at least to my knowledge.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-06-10 17:56:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-06-10 17:52:10 (#)
Ranking: 1
See, Kai gets it.
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Yeah? Convince bart. I don't think he'll let me in Ubermadness....
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-06-10 17:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
See, Kai gets it.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-06-10 17:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Reminds me of that old Hindu fable where blind men hold different parts on an elephant, and attempt to definitively describe it. No wonder bart never replies to my e mails, he considers me his antithesis. I do not understand the man, unless he explains himself. Typically, I hate cryptic communicators like him, it's very annoying and exudes a sense of false superiority. But I guess some people are like that, and I certainly don't go out of my way to meet them.
I admit that bart is a little too slick for me, and has the luxury of sophistication (computer, interpersonal, experience) that my existence on this world has never afforded me. My social graces consist of beating people up, and talking to drunk women, and I don't do much of either anymore. That's it. But would it be so bad to admit that I come to Uber to practice my people skills? Because if this were all real-time in real life, either I'd be bored with all of you by now, or you would have abandoned me looooong ago.
Very interesting post.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-06-10 17:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cool_Ubersite_User
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-06-10 17:31:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The Man, The Myth, The Bart!
This is the most I have ever seen from him at one time on somebody else's post.
Impresses me more and more everytime.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-06-10 17:07:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just because there is more than one person disagreeing with you, don't jump to the conclusion that they all have the same viewpoint. The world is a complicated place. The enemy of my enemy is not my friend.
Comments like this:
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I wouldn't be surprised if ;
a) You were banned for being such a childish attention whore
OR
b) Bart closed this whole site down because of obnoxious fucktards like yourself who insist on pretending that you have some kind of profound knowledge about the way everything works and must therefore impose your juvenile speculations on everyone else as if it is factual evidence.
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are even more ridiculous than the original post.
What have I ever done that would lead someone to believe that I would ban a user or shutdown the site because of anything that's occurred here?
This post is not that of a "childish attention whore". I've never given any indication that I was going to shutdown the site because someone thinks they know how something works.
What would be the point of shutting down the site? To prove that I can? Do I have to demonstrate that I'm in control by taking my destroying Ubersite? What is the obsession people have with wanting to take things down, ban users, and shutdown the site? Why do people feel the need to make vague overreactive threats against people that they can't enforce?
A number of people here say things like "Bart should..." or "If I was Bart I would..." when the truth is that all anyone really wants to do is get involved in a fist fight with the bombs on their side. Fighting, banning, a Jedi craves not these things.
I didn't think the original post was all that bad. I gave it a childish insult and a "cocksucker" comment as evidence against the argument. Believe it or not, I wouldn't ordinaily call someone a cocksucker unless they clearly sucked cock.
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2005-06-10 13:31:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"If you want to talk to me about something, you could start by not pretending to be someone you aren't. After that, you could avoid calling me a liar without some kind of reasoning to bolster your point."
I'm not pretending to be anything other than myself. And I felt that my reasoning was fair enough - the fact that you might want to preserve your image somewhat. Apparently not, and I guess that's cool. Regardless, I really don't care for the comments like Sphagnum's. Please, -2 me more, and continue to refer to me as a noob, and say cool things about violence and sodomy. It's hilarious, and completely novel, seriously. I've seen this site through plenty of trolls, and if it makes you feel better about your sad life, then I guess I will stomach it.
This post was a fairly viable speculation, maybe it "imposed" upon your valuable internet time, but it was never trying to appear to be "factual evidence." The title was only an eyecatcher, but the first line clarified that it was only a supposition.
Submitted by Draqus (user info) at 2005-06-10 09:46:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Clifowned, idiot.
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2005-06-10 07:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well done, quack, we figured that out a while ago - the guy's called Shlongy.
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Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-06-09 20:19:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
I wouldn't want to ruin my good name by calling you a dirty cocksucker.
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I decided to quote this one because, despite the fact that the other one was *much* better (cilfonwed), it was far too long to quote.
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2005-06-10 07:24:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If Bart wanted to keep a good reputation on here, he could delete every post that would show him in a negative way. You however, cannot erase the fact that you were born retarded.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-06-10 05:34:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha Ha, Bart Bart yelled at you. Shamone!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-10 04:41:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
All I can say is "OUCH".
Way to upset the Man who fosters your retardedness by letting you post stuff on his website.
How about you write something about a member of his family next time so that he has good cause to stab you in the eye with a soldering iron.
It's fuckwits like you who end up ruining places like this for everyone else.
I wouldn't be surprised if ;
a) You were banned for being such a childish attention whore
OR
b) Bart closed this whole site down because of obnoxious fucktards like yourself who insist on pretending that you have some kind of profound knowledge about the way everything works and must therefore impose your juvenile speculations on everyone else as if it is factual evidence.
Do yourself a favour and post things that you have a thorough understanding of in future, like tiddlywinks or scraping dried semen off your jawbone.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-10 04:36:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-10 04:35:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cilfowned
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-06-10 04:18:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"i still wouldn't be so sure about bart. his reply means nothing. it's the best part of this post - the fact that it's pretty much impossible to disprove."
Wrong. I completely disproved your point with my comment. Your argument was that I would create an alter in order to prevent using my name on childish insults. If I had in fact been using an alter so that I could get into petty name calling arguments, why would I then come back here and childishly insult you using my real name?
I only have one account. Comments like "BTW of COURSE he has alters... wouldn't you?" just go to show the difference between people like kai070169 and people like me. It makes no sense to me why you would go to a completely anonymous website and create multiple fake names to represent yourself as multiple people. Moreso, why on earth would I build a website and then create multiple fake names to represent myself?
The entire reason why I use my real name and why this site exists is because I have integrity and a strong belief in personal history and accountability. I believe in transparency and tolerance - I don't hide things from you, you don't judge me on my personal choices. I've posted a picture of myself with a saw, in drag, and with a hat pulled over my face. I have my full name and email address on everything I've posted from a story about a transvestite to one wishing that George W Bush gets gangraped in prison.
The reason why I don't get into long debates with people on this site is because I don't want to get in long debates with people on this site. I am pretty busy with life. While I read a lot of things, I haven't written much of anything in a while, not even comments. I have plenty of conversations with a bunch of folks, but they're all through email, aim, or phone. I have stories I want to write, but I waste too much time replying to stupid shit like this to have time to write anything good. Besides, it's already after 3am and I have to go to work in the morning.
If you want to talk to me about something, you could start by not pretending to be someone you aren't. After that, you could avoid calling me a liar without some kind of reasoning to bolster your point.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-06-10 00:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
clifowned?
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2005-06-09 21:41:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmm. i'm trying to recall the last time i saw bart get in an actual conversation or argument on this site. usually it's just tiny responses like that.
if "of course" he has alters, i wonder to what degree they are. the irritating, mcbain/joeaverage type? or one of those cindy/kristy swan ones?
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-06-09 21:30:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-06-09 20:19:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
I wouldn't want to ruin my good name by calling you a dirty cocksucker.
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Despite all the people who seem to like him, he sure comes off like a complete dick sometimes... really, I wonder if he has a problem, or if years of reading absolute fucking GARBAGE has instilled an ironclad sense of superiority in his psyche. He's always been fair enough to me (but hardly polite), but he definitely is strange...
I wonder, really, honestly, if this site has ever helped him get laid. If not, I wonder why he bothers?
BTW of COURSE he has alters... wouldn't you?
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2005-06-09 21:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm seeing another little bandwagon for all you little sheep to hop onto, come along now. train's leaving.
heaven forbid a relevant review.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-09 21:15:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, I'm sorry.
What I really meant to say before was You're a fuckwit, asshat that any other combination of expletives with nouns involved would sum up accurately.
I believe I have something of yours... You earnt it back.
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2005-06-09 21:14:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was stupid.
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2005-06-09 21:10:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i forgot about you spedmonkey. probably cause there are plenty of "monkey" users already. poop_monkey, munkeypants, LSM, etc. how clever of you all.
and knuckles, i don't get it. go jerk off and whine about how your common law wife isn't appealing anymore or something. oh wait.
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2005-06-09 21:03:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i still wouldn't be so sure about bart. his reply means nothing. it's the best part of this post - the fact that it's pretty much impossible to disprove.
and also, insults like fuckwit, asshat, and any other combination of an expletive with a noun are terribly played out. try being more creative if you must use them. go for asstoaster or hamsterfuck or something for pete's sake.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-06-09 21:02:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck that, bart is MY alter.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-06-09 20:49:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Bart called you a cocksucker!
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-06-09 20:25:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
my apologies spag heres your -2 back. har har
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-09 20:24:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a dirty cocksucker
Submitted by aniston69 (user info) at 2005-06-09 20:21:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Seriously, alters are stupid.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-06-09 20:19:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I wouldn't want to ruin my good name by calling you a dirty cocksucker.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-06-09 20:12:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
yeah, that's right. i'm Bart. finally, i can reveal myself. YOU STUPID FUCKWIT.
Submitted by Sabrina (user info) at 2005-06-09 20:08:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You want to see my tits? http://www.ubersite.com/m/68165
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2005-06-09 20:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
as long as you apologize, it's fine.
maybe you are bart. unhappy at being revealed, eh?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-09 20:06:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought method was bart's alter...
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-06-09 20:06:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
sorry
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2005-06-09 20:01:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
please stop -2ing my post zakalwe! you're hurting my feelings!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-06-09 19:57:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
yes it is
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-09 19:54:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-06-09 19:48:47 (#)
Ranking: 1
wow spaggy your pretty uptight today
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I guess an "interesting" point has been made but who honestly gives a fuck. I saw the title and it has "pay some attention to me" written all over it.
Have a +2 to let the record show that Sphagnum shook off his uptightedness and decided that this post isn't REALLY that bad.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-06-09 19:54:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
so fucking what?
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-06-09 19:48:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
wow spaggy your pretty uptight today
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-09 19:47:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It could be me fo all I know.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-06-09 19:45:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I solved this mystery a long time ago, moron.
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-06-09 19:45:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am not Bart, but Bart lives in me. I am Bart incarnate. There is also the unholy spirit. Together we make up the Trinity.
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2005-06-09 19:42:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i just feel like it's a very definite possibility. i have other things to do outside of the internet, but that doesn't stop me from stopping by this site every once and awhile. just like most of you, i'd hope.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-06-09 19:41:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-06-09 19:40:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Did it ever occur to you that maybe he is more concerned with life outside of a website he created that accidentally reached 18,000 fuckos?
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Closer to 20K now
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-06-09 19:40:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did it ever occur to you that maybe he is more concerned with life outside of a website he created that accidentally reached 18,000 fuckos?
Lots of Love,
Rachael
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-09 19:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I am Bart's alter.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-06-09 19:38:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Quack indeed, my friend. Quack indeed.