Today On CNN (387 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -0.18 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DaBaddestHic <jtight.at.usa.com> (View user info) at 2005-06-13 07:51:45 EDT
I spend all day at work sitting in front of a computer, and a large wall. This would usually make me quite depressed, having to stare at a wall all day. Fortunately for me (or unfortunately depending on how you look at it), this wall is filled with three projector screens. Two of them are work-related screens with statistics about the network or how we are doing on alarms. The middle screen, however, is hooked up to a TV tuner, and broadcasts CNN 24/7.
So this is what is happened today in the world according to CNN. (Or rather Friday because I've been too lazy to write this until now.)
There is a girl who disappeared sometime a week or two ago from a hotel in Aruba. As of now they have made five arrests, including the two people who supposedly had the last contact with her. These two actually worked at a hotel themselves, which might make you question your own safety if you ever took a vacation there.
Or you could just be like me and not worry about trifling things such as being raped or mugged.
Although they won't admit it on the air, you can see it in all the reporter's faces that they know the girl is dead. Seriously, this girl is (or was) extremely hot (as pointed out multiple times by my fellow workers), and how many times have you actually seen an attractive female show up again after a kidnapping?
Well, there was that one girl who they found after five years a couple days ago, but that's beside the point...
On the opposite end of the world, or rather, way north of Aruba, there is another story that has its roots in Canada. Sometime last week a man was let across the Canadian border who had with him, among other things, a chainsaw that seemed to have human blood on it. Oh sure, the authorities took the chainsaw and all the other weapons he had with him, but they let him cross to the US.
It was only after they found the dead, mutilated bodies in his home town that they thought it might be a good idea to ask this guy a few questions. Well, at least they would if they could find him, but you know how that goes.
Just goes to prove what I've been saying all these years about how much Canada sucks.
Speaking of sucking, there was an attempted bank robbery today. Looked like a pretty big operation, and would have made the robber successful if he had pulled it off. But he didn't, and now he has to run from the cops without tons of cash to help him out. Come on now, if you're going to rob a bank at least do the proper research to actually get away with it. It's not like they don't know that people are going to try and raid the vaults.
Maybe the bank robber should have taken a trip to Texas before he attempted his fiasco. That's where a semi carrying a shipment of explosives overturned sometime Friday afternoon. Police cleared the area within a two mile radius (or something similar), although as far as I could tell the semi sat there hour after hour without anything actually going off. It would have been the perfect time for the robber to go in and steal some heavy-duty explosives that he could have later used to tear open the vault and create enough smoke and chaos to allow his unnoticed escape.
And if he just so happened to detonate the explosives then all the better. Not only would it eliminate someone who doesn't deserve life in the first place, but it would also create a nice pyrotechnics show that I could watch at work. Now who couldn't appreciate that?
The Michael Jackson case went into its fourth day of deliberations (I believe). It's still up in the air whether or not the fact that it's taking this long to decide his fate is a good thing or a bad thing. Personally, I say throw him in jail, because not enough celebrities and/or famous people end up there. And not that pansy-ass jail that Martha Stuart (sp?) was put in, but a real jail with dreary concrete walls and a bunch of angry guys that eye you in the shower. That'll teach him to molest little boys. Um, I mean teach him not to...
Speaking of little boys, there was a bus carrying a bunch of kids aged 8-14 that was smashed in its side by a semi. And when I say smashed I mean it. That semi went through at least half of the width of the bus. Unfortunately, I don't think that any of the kids actually died - just the usual plethora of missing limbs and swollen body parts.
Lastly, there was a story on over the shelf teeth whitening devices. I guess CNN ran out of real stories to cover at the time. They had experts on who were saying that extensive use of these whitening devices could lead to permanent damage, and they would recommend you see a professional.
I guess we know what really happened to Michael Jackson now.
User Reviews
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-13 15:25:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I think i can watch/read cnn on my own thanks.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-06-13 15:23:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have been informed and slightly amused. +1 for each of those.
Submitted by DaBaddestHic (user info) at 2005-06-13 14:52:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
:) I knew someone would get after me for the Canada comment.
CNN is a 24/7 news channel by the way. They tend to find eight or so stories for the day and run them over and over again. Usually see it in airport lobbies.
Submitted by sheckynecky (user info) at 2005-06-13 12:42:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what is this C N N of which you speak? I am intrigued.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-06-13 10:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
One man is not "canada". Idiot. You probably have more murderous people in your town than we do in our whole country.
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-06-13 09:56:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i suffered an extreme personal loss last night and drinking already so +2s for everyone today!!!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-06-13 08:31:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Allow me to predict the current headline on CNN:
"Suicide bombings kills -- in Iraq"
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-06-13 08:06:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
this was astonishingly dull
Submitted by Auron (user info) at 2005-06-13 08:06:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice and informative. Thanks.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-13 07:57:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.foxnews.com
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-13 07:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oh genius how art thou?
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-13 07:54:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
What was the point of this?