My Ribs Hurt (563 hits)
Category: NewsRating: -1.86 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bitch (View user info) at 2005-06-14 13:49:42 EDT
Maybe it was the canoe adventure or maybe it was my slip and fall on the wet floor after you showered. Maybe the weight of my face-down slumber did me in. In any case, my ribs hurt. My ribs hurt so much that I fear my sternum will crack if I inhale too deeply. All of you, dear readers, need to REALIZE that I am a victim... No longer do I get the evil glare from the radom elderly passerby. Those who were formerly jealous of my youth now look upon me with sympathy and - dare I say it? - LOVE in their eyes. Witnessing my suffering (because it is written all over my face) has somehow activated their sympathetic natures. The feel like better people because of ME, better people because of my RIBS...
More to come.
grossitude.ppt (114 kB) [application/vnd.ms-powerpoint]
User Reviews
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-06-14 21:15:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
B@W CUNT
Submitted by honeycake (user info) at 2005-06-14 17:27:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My ribs still hurt.
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2005-06-14 15:34:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-06-14 14:21:24 (#)
Ranking: -2
If you were to be liquified, the resulting liquid would be half diarrhea and half smegma
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Fucking. Ew.
And yet, I'm giggling.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-06-14 14:21:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If you were to be liquified, the resulting liquid would be half diarrhea and half smegma
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-06-14 14:20:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck off, hosebag.
It's a lifted list from some random insult generator that someone posted on uber at some point in the past, and it seemed oddly fitting, seeing as how this post was absolute shit.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-06-14 14:18:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/45824
Submitted by honeycake (user info) at 2005-06-14 14:05:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dear jgreening,
You sound very, very original. From where did you yank your little tirade because I just KNOW you didn't waste all that time composing that just for little ol' me. :D
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-14 13:55:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
what's with the power point?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-06-14 13:55:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Thank you! We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view, you ridiculous little carnival freak. Rumor has it that you are almost incomprehensible in person (as revealed by your desperate urge to babble nonsensically on message boards.) No doubt, this rumor is true.
I don't know what makes you such a worthless poster, but it really works! If ignorance were a disability, you'd get the full pension. You've got a big hole in your head, now shut it. When you are at a loss for words, your loss is our gain. As Robert Wilensky said: "We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."
Calling you dull is a gross underestimation of just how tedious you are. You have the personality of a damp sponge and the appeal of a moldy sweat sock. Looking at you, Darwin would NOT be pleased to see how inefficiently evolution sometimes works. Maybe you wouldn't read like such a pathetic loser if your father didn't screw a plant and raised a blooming idiot; if your weren't so fat that buildings bounce when you haul your Sumo Wrestler mass down the street, or if you didn't have a face like a bulldog chewing a stinging nettle while taking a constipated dump in a heat wave. No, come to think of it, you would.
Finally, take a look at this map. See this little tiny island, way out in the Pacific Ocean? That's where the people who care live.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-06-14 13:52:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
my eyes.