Holy Fucktard, I Got Nothing! (833 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.44 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by PMJ <potatomanjack79.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-06-14 15:45:46 EDT
Well, it's official. The well that is my creativity that I once thought was pretty much inexhausible is emptier than a 70 year old's ovaries.
Today, I felt like writing something creatiev for the lot of you folks on uber. I wasn't sure whether it would be a humor post, a piece of fiction, or perhaps a rant of some kind, but I knew that I wanted to write something. However, as I tried to get the hamster in gear and get that wheel turning, what was returned was a big blank.
I was not to be deterred easily though, and so I tried to inspire myself by thinking of the recent big topics in the media... and came up blank.
Next, I thought of things that piss me off, and what I could write on there. Lots of stuff bugs me, but none of it bugged me enough to squeeze out a post.
Finally, I tried to access my personal random drive. It's one of my best attributes, if I may say so myself, and it's the place where I'd have the most luck coming up with a topic for a post.
It too came up empty.
So, with all my possibilites coming up not, I now turn to you folks at uber for help.
I beg you, give me some post ideas. They could be fictional story titles, societal commentary, or anything that your clever little evil genius minds can think of.
Throw em at me, and the best titles will have posts written.
How many? I don't know, maybe five?
I appreciate your help on this one, and just to show you how much it means to me, here's a picture of an ugly old woman playing a banjo.
User Reviews
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-06-15 10:35:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I guess I got some ideas. Look for posts soon.
Caul/SR
A drink sounds like fun, but I'm gone next week (going to Cuba), and also the weekend of the 8th.
Any other time is good, although I don't think I'll burn the fuck out of my arm this time.
Submitted by entropy (user info) at 2005-06-14 23:32:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
how bout some battle for uber?
been waiting on that series for a while
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-06-14 22:48:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-06-14 17:52:11 (#)
Ranking: 1
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I would have given this a +2 if this was written as a post and not as a reply.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2005-06-14 19:49:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-14 15:57:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-06-14 15:50:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in on this post too, I haven't written anything in months. I've got nothing too.
====
Ditto, though it's only been a couple weeks
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I haven't had any real juice for about a year. Madness 2 sucked me dryer than Joan River's axe wound.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-14 19:46:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-06-14 19:26:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Gramma, that's not where you put your bango!
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PMJ, Caul and I are thinkin' of going for a drink again sometime soon, you interested... you may get some post ideas...
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We could rape homeless people in alleys. Imagine that!
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-06-14 19:26:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gramma, that's not where you put your bango!
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PMJ, Caul and I are thinkin' of going for a drink again sometime soon, you interested... you may get some post ideas...
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-06-14 19:07:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-06-14 17:52:11 (#)
Ranking: 1
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I would have given this a +2 if this was written as a post and not as a reply.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-06-14 17:52:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/45203
-Dancing sickness from ergot poisoning.
-Guys named Ralph.
-Snails vs slugs.
-Corduroy. I can't stand it!
-Magellan was full of shit and annoyed everyone around him.
-Canadians are always yelling about something, yet WE are the bad guys.
-Buckminster Fuller had a cool fucking name.
-Once in the 'Ginger or Mary Ann' debate I heard a guy ask, "What about Mrs. Howell?" and nobody ever talked to him again.
-Coated Aspirin is for pussies.
-Why does my skull have those ridges in the back?
-I was once standing in line at a KFC when I noticed a shirtless black guy right behind me, and could not help but notice his damn-near inch-long nipples. I found the sight so utterly disturbing I ran outside, walked around the block, smoked a cigarette, and went back in after nippleman was gone. Has this ever happened to you?
-I really hate tea drinkers.
-I can't wait for the next ten years or so when all the young guys taking Viagra begin to discover they have permanently damaged blood circulation in their dicks and can't get it up.
-Mickey Rooney always looks like he smells really bad.
-I'm dreading the coming wave of Barney nostalgia.
-If you use the word 'slacks' I will punch you in the head.
-Pamela Anderson may be a bimbo, but from the interviews I've seen and read she seems like a very nice girl despite having seen her with a mouthful of wang in that video a few years ago
-The 'M' in 'ATM' stands for machine, you idiot, so why do you keep saying 'ATM machine?'
-Fucking leaf blowers. Just sweep that shit up already!
-My hatred for Bob Saget is with me still
-Cell phones with cutesy ring tones push me to the brink of homicide
-Single-ply toilet paper. Is there even a point?
-Women.
-The only time smoking is bad for you is when you realize you are out of cigarettes.
-Germans are funny when they get mad.
-Silk underwear for men. I mean, what the fuck?
-I liked the old Maytag repairman better.
-Why did those bastards at Nestle think Quik needed a cartoon mascot?
-Little sugar packets in coffee houses. Put the goddamned sugar in a jar so I don't have to stand there all fucking day ripping and pouring!
-Our cash is getting all gayed up with color and I do not like it.
-What happened to Wayne Newton's face?
-People who answer 800 assistance lines who can't speak English. What the fuck? This is STILL America, right?
-Why do black kids yell so much on the bus?
-Ever notice how 'fun size' can apply to anything that will fit in a chick's mouth except a penis?
-Any minute now the ACLU is gonna charge the white tiger that attacked Roy Horn with a hate crime and says it was a case of 'gay-bashing.'
-I don't think there is anything my body can produce and excrete that I haven't already tasted at some point in my life.
-What DID Ward Cleaver do for a living, anyway?
Submitted by yermom (user info) at 2005-06-14 17:27:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
For the love of christ, you have a picture of an old lady playing a banjo, turn the old lady into your grandma, and tell of her sexual explots. See, I threw up a little in my mouth just thinking about it.
Really though, if I'm stumpped, I find a picture and make up a background for that person like this:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61189
Hope that helps.
Submitted by The_T_Man (user info) at 2005-06-14 16:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Star with the complete history of Canada, followed by the Encyclopedia of Naked Hot Women. Follow that up with a treatise on SHAMONE!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-06-14 16:35:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry sweetie. I can't help you. If I had ideas I would be posting them.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-06-14 16:29:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I usually have to make a few shit posts to get my creativity flowing.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-06-14 16:21:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-14 15:57:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-06-14 15:50:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in on this post too, I haven't written anything in months. I've got nothing too.
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Ditto, though it's only been a couple weeks.
I agree with the above sentiment but implore Kre8rix to get back to work on elemental damnit! that was good stuff and I want more!
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-06-14 16:08:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel the same way at times, not that my writing is impressive by any standard. However, I have made a couple of shitty posts and decided that sometimes I just need to make some shitty posts just to get it out of system. Other times I think up things as I'm creating : http://www.ubersite.com/m/68514
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-14 16:05:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
y'know, I was _just_ thinking up some bitchin good ideas for ya, and then it occured to me, UberMadness is coming up, and why should I give up some choice ideas, and THEN it occured to me, why that fuckin polesmoker, he's trolling for good story lines!
so +2 for being sneaky.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-06-14 16:03:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
road rage changed me.
how cool is that?
montana
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-14 15:57:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-06-14 15:50:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in on this post too, I haven't written anything in months. I've got nothing too.
====
Ditto, though it's only been a couple weeks.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-06-14 15:51:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Fucktard, but you get a linkwhore (for fucktard) http://www.ubersite.com/m/44453
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-06-14 15:50:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in on this post too, I haven't written anything in months. I've got nothing too.