Am I a Scumbag Or a Douchebag? (867 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: -1.78 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Private Larry Chester E. Riddings (View user info) at 2005-06-14 17:24:59 EDT
Once upon a time I went around pulverizing twats with my magic wand. I would transform ground beef disasters into tunaboat slaughterhouses and vice-versa. The ladies loved it and called me "Shafty". I churned their cunt juice like butter. I especially liked the girls with flabby asses who put up absolutely no resistance as I repeatedly battered their cervixes. Yum. Eventually though, the stench of the bacterial infections that surely followed became too overpowering for me to endure. Also, these bitches were ugly in a grandma yeasty beef cunt way. I almost felt like I was in Red Lobster shucking clams as I entered their putrid, dripping rotted snatches like a turbo piston. My phone rang off the hook constantly during this time. The more callous I was, the more they fawned over me. The less I did, the more their attentions increased. I felt worshiped, but it became very boring as well as rank.
So I've switched to cock. Cock is my true calling. I <3 Cock. I like to touch it, and I like to suck it. In fact, I LOVE IT. I love the precum, and I love the blast of jiz that is my reward for every successful blow. The smell of wrinkly ballsacks beats the malodorous funk emanating from the beef cunts I used to grind - ANY DAY!
Sometimes I say "I love cock" in the mirror and check my expression.
Yep, it's true: I LOVE COCK. SO FUCKING MUCH.
The only thing I can really say, day after day after fucking day is:
YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!
User Reviews
Submitted by Kazzerax (user info) at 2005-06-26 19:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by The_Superman (user info) at 2005-06-14 17:32:28 (#)
Ranking: -2
Both.
------
BASTARD beat me to it
Submitted by prettygirl (user info) at 2005-06-14 21:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-06-14 21:14:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you are both
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-14 19:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I almost felt like I was in Red Lobster shucking clams as I entered their putrid, dripping rotted snatches like a turbo piston.
__
ok, that was humorous, so I can't -2 this
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-14 19:19:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by honeycake (user info) at 2005-06-14 17:47:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-14 17:36:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
Why is this entertaining to anyone?
--------------------------------------------------------
I smell JEALOUSY!
---------------------------------------------
I smell WISHFULL THINKING!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-14 17:57:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by honeycake (user info) at 2005-06-14 17:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-14 17:36:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
Why is this entertaining to anyone?
--------------------------------------------------------
I smell JEALOUSY!
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-14 17:36:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why is this entertaining to anyone?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-06-14 17:34:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Submitted by The_Superman (user info) at 2005-06-14 17:32:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Both.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-06-14 17:27:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
dont feed the troll.
or twat, whatever.