Bums... at least they're entertaining (582 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Taurusfh (View user info) at 2005-06-15 17:36:31 EDT
So the other night my girlfriend and I were sitting on our balcony having a smoke and talking. Out of the distance we heard this yelling. It's not strange to hear yelling from the alley below our apartment, in fact its actually a relief from the gunshots.
But this yelling was different. It got closer... and closer... and soon we could make out what was being said...
"I'M TELLING YOU FRIEND!!!
DON'T TAKE HER SHE'S ALL I GOT!!!
PLEASE DON'T TAKE HER LONG AWAY FROM ME!!!"
We looked down into the alley and saw it was a bum (transient, hobo, etc.). He was yelling the words to an old country song at the top of his lungs, without even a hint of melody.
We, of course, called our roommate outside, and all three of us sat their listening, laughing our asses off.
"I'M TELLING YOU FRIEND!!!" the bum continued to yell as he ambled down the alley.
All of the sudden, from a few floors below us, we heard a female voice.
"Don't quit your day job!" she yelled at the bum.
Mid-sentence, he replied
"I AIN'T GOT ONE!!!"
And then continued with his song, as if he had never been interupted.
User Reviews
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-06-17 19:21:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
haha
Submitted by Duke_Diggler (user info) at 2005-06-17 18:53:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wow. this was utterly terrible. Dr. Diggler diagnoses you with a bad case of -2 DIE!!, and prescribes you 4 tablets of rat poison. If that doesn't kill you, take 4 more.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-16 05:43:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I thought this was going to be about bottoms.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2005-06-16 02:06:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tomorrow, I'm going to post about a bum. I might just link it to this post as well, because bums need to stick together. That sounded dirty. I'm sorry...
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-06-15 22:59:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hate Indian bums. Hate, hate, hate. Some hobos are entertaining but Indian bums are the ones that lurk in the shadows and jump out just to scare the crap out of you. Fucking drunk bastards.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-06-15 20:10:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Reminds me of an episode of Diagnosis Murder. Damn I love that show.
Submitted by runswithscissors (user info) at 2005-06-15 18:34:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hee hee
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2005-06-15 18:16:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-06-15 18:14:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
they have a lot of Indian alkies in downtown Seattle
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Oh yeah? WE have native bums up here in Canada like you would not believe
Fucking leeches, taking my hard earned tax dollars.
FUCK, dont even get me started on that.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-15 18:03:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My favorite bum story was from 25 years ago - I was on my way home from school in downtown Seattle, and this big Indian came up to me (they have a lot of Indian alkies in downtown Seattle).
He says, "We need just 53 more cents to make it, man...just 53 more cents!" He held out his hand with the change he had already collected, I think he was running a telethon for his friends to get a pint of Thunderbird.
He wasn't freaky or smelly, just a very committed individual who was gonna get that 53 cents, one at a time if he had to.
I gave him 5 bucks.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-06-15 18:00:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by yermom (user info) at 2005-06-15 17:48:28 (#)
Ranking: 1
I feel for bums, but I think it'd be interesting to find out how they turned out like they did.
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ha-ha, yermom feels bums
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-15 17:57:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
rofl!
Submitted by yermom (user info) at 2005-06-15 17:48:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I feel for bums, but I think it'd be interesting to find out how they turned out like they did.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-06-15 17:43:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cute
Submitted by pushedbyboredom (user info) at 2005-06-15 17:42:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Funny.