Why am I Such an Asshole? (697 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.66 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sinistral (View user info) at 2005-06-15 22:42:58 EDT
There's been a stretch of two or three years where I have gone from being the most laid back, nicest person you'll know to being a complete asshole. I'm not exactly sure why, but I have. I don't know whether or not this will be SPT or LPT but I'm sure it will cover both.
Scenario: Girl has boyfriend problems, thinks he is cheating on her. Comes to me for advice.
Then: "I don't know how he could ever cheat on you because you are so beatiful."
Now: "Ya, ya, ya. Why don't you ask him? By the way I'm not your bitch!"
Scenario: Kid comes up behind me and shoves me.
Then: "What the fuck are you doing?"
Now: "What the fuck are you doing (shoves kid over balcony railing)?"
Scenario: Girl asks "Do you like my haircut?"
Then: "Well, it certaintly looks different, but I like it."
Now: "It looks horrible. Why don't you try harder to fit into the whole emo fag stereotype?"
Scenario: Girl tells joke, "What do you call two holes in the ground? Well, well! HEHEHEHEHE"
Then: Fake laughter.
Now: "ARE YOUR FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!"
Scenario: Kid doesn't stop talking.
Then: "Shut the fuck up."
Now: "If you don't shut the fuck up I will cut out your vocal chords!"
As you can tell, there is a very prominent difference between now and then. If you didn't pick up on it, then your worthless and should have your face cummed on.
Anyway, I've come to the realization that beforehand, I was everyones bitch. Well, as fun as it was being "really good friends" with hot girls, I've pretty much decided that I'm not going to be they're fucking doormat. As for the kid who shoved me, he had it coming.
User Reviews
Submitted by ilikeyoghurt (user info) at 2006-11-05 16:48:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha! i realised it's more fun and less stressful if you say what you think. This has made comments such as "fuck off, you're boring," "men don't respect you 'cos you're a slag" and "keep your nose out of my business, fatty" a more regular occurence.
I'd like to think the world is now a happier place. Well, my world anyway...
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-06-20 10:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-06-16 11:05:07 (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't even think more cowbell could do the trick for this post. I like the bleeding fuck on the ground pic though.... so just a -1
Love,
Vulv
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More cowbell certainly wouldn't have hurt...
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2005-06-16 20:17:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CLAIRE1 (user info) at 2005-06-16 10:34:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
What does emo mean?
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you serious?
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-06-16 11:05:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't even think more cowbell could do the trick for this post. I like the bleeding fuck on the ground pic though.... so just a -1
Love,
Vulv
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-16 10:58:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You are mean.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-16 10:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The image was funny
Submitted by CLAIRE1 (user info) at 2005-06-16 10:34:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What does emo mean?
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-06-16 01:43:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm a badass, tell me i'm a badass!
-msi
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-06-16 01:26:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Genetics?
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2005-06-15 23:30:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
rather unamusing. So start being my bitch and make quality posts
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-06-15 23:24:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Once a bitch, always a bitch.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2005-06-15 23:24:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-06-15 23:13:35 (#)
Ranking: 1
"I've pretty much decided that I'm not going to be they're fucking doormat"
They're, there and their.
Learn it.
Otherwise this was amusing.
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It's late, I'm lazy.
I'll try to remember next time.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-06-15 23:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ooh another innernet tuffguy.......
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP!
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-06-15 23:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"I've pretty much decided that I'm not going to be they're fucking doormat"
They're, there and their.
Learn it.
Otherwise this was amusing.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-06-15 23:03:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You misunderstand.
Johnny Rocketfingers (http://www.newsandentertainment.com/zfjohnny.html) is an asshole. We love him for it.
You, on the other hand, are a tool.
Learn the difference.
Know it.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-06-15 23:00:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i have no opinion
Submitted by egadz (user info) at 2005-06-15 22:53:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you.
That's way too much like me
And, fuck that -2er.
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2005-06-15 22:53:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Mmmmmkay.....
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-06-15 22:46:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks for sharing, asshole.