Hobbits are Cool (1366 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 1.42 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Darth <Smeagol.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-06-16 00:36:36 EDT
Hobbits. Possibly the coolest race evar. And I have factual evidence to support my notion. Nevermind that I am quite drunk. These facts are undeniable and supported by tolkeen himself. First of all, they live in The Shire. What a fucking sweet name. But thats nothing on there badassness. :
1) Hobbits smoke weed. "old tom" "longbottom leaf" and tons of other names. I sure they have hydro and cryp, but tolkeen just felt that that went unspoken.
2) hobbits drink a lot. they drink more than you and more than me. frodo baggins had his own fucking keg in his basement. read the first book. Samwise always enjoyed a good pint, he often complained of the lack of ale in mordor. as did merry, pippin, and just about every other hobbit characer. perhaps tolkeen had a drinking problem.
3) frodo killed sauron, the baddest as of all. I mean , acording to the move, his eye alone was bout 10000 feet in diameter, so he must be on big mother fucker. and here is some 3 foot mother fucker killing him. you have to be hardass who kills a dude with an eye about 50000 times bigger than your whole boddy.
4) hobbits do shrooms. you think those were the kind of mushrooms you eat to satifsy your stomach? no they were the trippy kind, why else were the hobbits laughing like fuckin lunatics after they ate them?
I think my evidence speaks for itself. Hobbits are far cooler than you and until you drink, smoke pot, do shrooms and ruin evil tyrants shit on a regular basis you will be out done by a bunch of 3 foot bitches. har har.
i found this picture by searching gay hobbits
User Reviews
Submitted by bush_for_god (user info) at 2005-08-05 00:40:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, drugs are cool?
Oh man oh man, I need some crack!
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-06-17 14:09:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AshyLarry (user info) at 2005-06-16 14:23:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
This doesn't sound exactly like that, but it's got Spock, it's about hobbits and it's pretty fucked up.
http://emergingminister.com/video/bilbo.mov
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those people danced like they had corncobs in their asses. It made my boss laugh because he remembered it from back in the day.
He's old.
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2005-06-16 14:51:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"perhaps tolkeen had a drinking problem"
Refer to the pic on the back cover of the old run of paperbacks. With a bulbous honker like that, this would seem to be self-evident.
Submitted by AshyLarry (user info) at 2005-06-16 14:23:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-06-16 07:22:30 (#)
Ranking: 1
Someone sent me a link to an old black and white video that had Leonard nimnoy (spock from star trek, probably not spelled right) rocking about how he wanted to be a hobbit, with hot backup singers wearing hobbits for pres and hobbits unite buttons. One of the weirdest things ever, but it would be a nice musical accompianment to this post
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This doesn't sound exactly like that, but it's got Spock, it's about hobbits and it's pretty fucked up.
http://emergingminister.com/video/bilbo.mov
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-06-16 11:17:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Facts:
1. Hobbits are mammals.
2. Hobbits fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the Hobbit is to flip out and kill people.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-06-16 11:08:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
great post
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-06-16 10:58:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-16 10:56:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yep, cute.
Submitted by youarewrong (user info) at 2005-06-16 10:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I wouldn't want to get too near to one of those tiny homo's as they'd probably try and shaft your leg - then cry.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-06-16 07:22:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Someone sent me a link to an old black and white video that had Leonard nimnoy (spock from star trek, probably not spelled right) rocking about how he wanted to be a hobbit, with hot backup singers wearing hobbits for pres and hobbits unite buttons. One of the weirdest things ever, but it would be a nice musical accompianment to this post
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-06-16 01:58:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-06-16 01:56:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-06-16 01:38:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell yea dude, I wanna party with some hobbits
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-16 01:12:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WellFedEthiopian (user info) at 2005-06-16 00:52:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
much better.
Submitted by cigarr (user info) at 2005-06-16 00:51:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
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Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-06-16 00:40:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
i found this post by searching gay uberites
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Funny, when I do that search I pull up your name. Every fucking time.
Submitted by MoonStone (user info) at 2005-06-16 00:45:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't want to look like a weirdo. I'll just go with a muumuu.
-- Homer Simpson
King-Size Homer
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-16 00:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wouldn't call it "vast".
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2005-06-16 00:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a vast improvment, considering the last one i hit enter and it posted it blank. fuck that shit.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-16 00:41:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Only a slight improvement on the last one.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-06-16 00:40:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i found this post by searching gay uberites