Sweatshops Exist for this Reason. (864 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.77 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ducky (View user info) at 2005-06-17 07:35:02 EDT
I don't sew. To me, it's always been something reserved for grandmothers in rockers and small children working in textile factories in the dim recesses of wherever. If I want clothes, I go out and buy them. A friend of mine is trying to convert me. So there I am, in Fanny's Fabrics or some such nonsense, looking through bolts of fabric. The choice is clear. In my world, corduroy reigns supreme. If I can't have cord, I don't want anything. So I buy the cord. Next stop, pattern.
Let me just say this. The patterns that have the 'easy 2 hour' mark on them are deceiving. I'd go so far as to say that I'd like to string up and lynch the fuckers who came up with that particular time frame. So I got my 'easy 2 hour' skirt pattern, and home I went.
5pm- Decide to look at pattern.
5:10pm- Manage to get pattern separated. Is difficult because said pattern is rice-paper thin.
5:20pm- Stare.
5:30pm- Stare. Blink.
5:40pm- Realize some cheeky fucker has obviously taken said pattern and replaced it with a road map of somewhere in Greece.
6pm- Decide to get stoned. Perhaps I need to be stoned to understand the pattern.
6:20pm- Stoned. Am planning my next vacation with new-found road map.
Fast forward to next day:
10am- I drive over to my 'friends' house and show her the pattern. She explains how to
use it, and I explain that the pictures of little houses and palm trees were already on there when I bought it.
10:20am- Am verbally thrashed for a) not owning a fabric pencil, and b) not knowing
what a fabric pencil is.
10:30am- Fuck the fucking pattern. I'll design the goddamn thing myself. After all, I am
an artist. I end up with a glorious 'homeless chic' creation.
10:50am- The sewing machine becomes possessed. It is spewing thread, vomiting blood, and making strange noises that I'm sure could be translated into 'your mother sucks cocks in hell'.
11am- After 10 minutes of watching this strange thing convulse and rebel against me, I felt something that I can only describe as a bit of the ultra-violent. I did what any sane person would do.
I fucked the machine up. I threw the fucker on the ground, boot fucked it, and did a strange quasi-Mexican hat dance on top of it. No-one says that shit about my mother.
User Reviews
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-17 17:40:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahh.. a fellow seamstress.. I admire your style. I prefer to throw the sewing machine out the window and quietly retrive it later.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-06-17 14:20:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm an excellent seamstress
Submitted by Neener (user info) at 2005-06-17 14:16:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very Bridget.
Submitted by foster (user info) at 2005-06-17 13:52:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2005-06-17 13:51:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I feel your pain. I made a pair of curtains last week. They ended up as ferret blankets because they only resembled curtains if my house were a Picasso painting. You oughtta try embroidery, if you wanna get creative with textiles. You can get kickass patterns these days, no Aunt Martha type ducks in bonnets, I mean interesting themes. I made my weirdo friend a housewarming gift of towels with bats and spiderwebs, and another friend some Tiki bar napkins. Check these out: http://www.sublimestitching.com
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-06-17 12:32:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Am planning my next vacation with new-found road map
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-06-17 11:46:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by vodka7tall (user info) at 2005-06-17 11:00:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Obi-wan (user info) at 2005-06-17 10:10:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2005-06-17 08:06:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-06-17 07:56:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
everyone has to start somewhere. thank-you?
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-17 07:42:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Like a Circe post, but shorter and not as good.
Um, that didn't come out sounding right, it's meant to be a big compliment. Funny post.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-06-17 07:41:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well that settles it. Rad and I can break and fuck stuff up, and C1ndy can sew it back together.
Everybody wins.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-17 07:38:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You make me want to break things.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-17 07:36:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you made me want to sew things.