Deal with my shitty verse (301 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.14 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bob Eastman, Esq. (View user info) at 2005-06-17 12:26:51 EDT
Inspired by http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050617/ap_on_re_us/blimp_down
This is crap. Big whoop, wanna fight about it?
Blimp down,
I repeat, blimp down.
The Goodyear goes down like my ex-wife if you promise her taffy after she's done,
The Goodyear crashes with the speed of Gandhi taking a whizz on the banks of the Rio Grande
after he's had too much to eat at the local chinese bistro
(say what you want about Gandhi, but the man took his time).
O Lucifer! Blimp of the morning!
How art thou cut down to the ground!
You are shaped just like a football,
Your steeze is full and round.
Industrial parks are full of larks
that mind the gaps between the sharks
With helium you surf the sky
with well-trained peener and spleen of lead
your gasses pass, and then you die
you fall, you crash, you wake up dead.
But only this time, you wake up dead in Coral Springs
home of the Wildcats
and Murray's Tire Emporium;
it's almost as bad as waking up in Tupelo without a condom on
and realizing that you drunk-dialed your aunt last night.
It's almost as bad,
but not quite.
BLIMP. INTERIOR. EVENING.
"Hey, Dan, check out this lever here."
"I wouldn't pull that if i were you, Timothy!"
"Why not, it'll be fu--HOLY SHIT!"
"We're going down!"
"Before we die, I just want you to know. I hate your wife's cooking."
"Asshole."
"Shamone!"
FADE TO BLACK.
Industrial parks are full of larks
that mind the gaps between the sharks
The blimp is dead, long live the blimp,
God bless the ever lovin' ho-slapping pimp.
My butterscotch thunder will rumble all over you,
I will make you come to terms with my love of sprinkles
and make you question your feather boa and brown-bag lunch.
You womenzzz, my how you complicate things.
you sap my helium and send me to the ground
like I'm taking a stiff powerbomb from Dory Funk Jr.
or a malcontent gorilla who has been trained in the art of professional wrestling,
I fall, and I fall
like a half eaten sandwich from the depths of a fat man's fupa
as he stands up and stretches his naked form in the light from the summer sun,
and I flop into the industrial park like a pancake at a bukkake party
A little hot fuss for the lady of the hour.
Would you like some more syrup, dear?
Of course you would.
Respect.
User Reviews
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-06-22 11:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheEastman (user info) at 2005-06-22 10:57:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
I forgot to add most anything by Sasha, Deep Dish, Oakenfold and John Digweed.
why would anyone admit to liking them? oakenfold managed by far the most boring set of music i have ever heard in my life
ps. http://TheEastman.isagaylord.com/
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-06-17 17:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OK I'll fight ya.
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-17 17:12:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're right. It sucked. Congrats.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-06-17 15:00:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I regret to inform you, dear Solicitor, that "shitty" may be too good a word.
Submitted by foster (user info) at 2005-06-17 13:50:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by TheEastman (user info) at 2005-06-17 12:50:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"One post per day noob?" Blow me. I don't really count the first post because it was all news and no substance. If you do, that's your own issue.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-06-17 12:41:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
one post per day, noob
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-06-17 12:39:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, Brian! Your show is going down the toilet! There's only one way to save it: let me show everybody my weiner!