Sincerely, Valerie (1419 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.68 on 53 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Val (View user info) at 2005-06-20 05:52:01 EDT
Dear Dad,
Happy Father's Day!!!
Today is the day to reflect on and thank you for all of the wonderful memories we've shared.
Remember that time in 7th grade when I had to write a 20 page paper on the Civil War? I went to the library and took a ton of books out. Then you came to pick me up, screamed at me to "get in the fucking car" and when we got home, picked me up and threw me on my bedroom floor in a fit of rage because I only made my bed halfway.
That was fun.
Or how about the time you slapped mom on Easter Sunday and chased her around the house with a knife because she cursed in front of you?
Joyous.
Or the time you held a machete to my throat on the 4th of July because I wanted a slice of watermelon and you wanted to go home.
:)
All the fat jokes, the years of inner turmoil and self-analyzation, the thousands spent on therapy, the hours in Barnes and Nobles reading books on Passive Narcissism, the self abuse, the alcohol problems, the low self esteem, the many times I held mom while she cried...
and I didn't even have to do anything for all of that! You're just so, so very generous.
Remember all those times Grandma would give you money to give to me, and it took you 17 years to admit that you'd been pocketing it all along?
What about the time when I was 2 and you picked me up by my belt and the only thing that stopped you from hurtling me through the wall was mom tackling you?
I can't tell you how many times I fondly look back on that one Christmas 3 years ago when you gave me Dollar Store brand Peach Cobbler Pancake Syrup, because money was tight. All those trips to Costa Rica will burn a hole in your pocket, silly!
I really liked when you dropped me from my health insurance without telling me, and now are forcing me to pay my $1700 bill from when I fell down the stairs at BEBOP'S WAKE and couldn't walk for a week. I love how you dropped me in January and I just found out 3 weeks ago.
Or that time you dropped me from the car insurance for months. Just found out about that one, too.
The nasty IM's and emails about how worthless/ lazy/ dependent I am really make me smile. I mean, who cares that I pay all of my own bills and work 60 hours a week and ask no one for anything. My opinion means nothing. I realize this now.
All those times you'd flip out or hurt me for no reason and then apologize and say it would never happen again? That was really great for my mental health. The fact that I've mastered the art of suppression and surface forgiveness has really done a lot for me.
And after my ex beat me and you told me I was an idiot for breaking up with him? Genius. I loved how you'd invite him over for dinner and then you'd crack jokes about me like I wasn't even in the room.
Priceless.
How about when mom finally divorced you when I was 14 and you locked me in the car and told me that I was the reason for the divorce, and that if I didn't "talk her out of it" the whole family would fall apart. The words, "Val... I'm sorry to tell you this... but you are the reason for all of this," haunted me for years! Thank you!
Remember all the times we went for walks, and to the beach, and for bike rides, and to the park?
All the valuable life lessons you taught me?
All the times I truly felt cared about?
Me neither.
Happy Father's Day, you vile, worthless excuse for a man.
May the truth haunt you for the rest of your life.
Sincerely,
Valerie
User Reviews
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-04-12 14:32:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yikes. Sorry.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-12 14:15:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
First it's fiction, then it's true. What a pile of shit.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-06-27 01:06:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I was mildly interested in the military career attempt
but just too lazy to peruse more of your posts after the
two month absence in 04.
<stalklite>
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-21 12:19:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Girls with father issues are usually the worst girlfriends ever. They're uncapable of dealing with men.
But we could still have sex.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-21 04:01:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-06-20 06:27:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
self-analyzation - worst word ever.
self-analysis?
---------------------------
Yes, "self-analyzation" is indeed the worst word ever.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-06-21 02:30:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Would've been even cooler if you'd sent this to him. +++
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-06-21 02:28:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no, at CVS the 12-in-a-box is like 11.50 plus tax.
Thank you new jersey!
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-06-21 01:47:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"and condoms are leass than 12 dollars a box."
What, do you get the industrial size box?
I make my own plastic worms for fishing, Method.
Submitted by A-Daamage (user info) at 2005-06-21 01:26:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hello, Val. One thing he'll never be able to take away from you is that despite all that horseshit, you've become one damned cool chick, and in doing so, made him look all the more foolish by comparison. How such an interesting person was created from such a vicious slimeball is unbelievable. Disown the fucker.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-06-20 22:51:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for a well written post but... I'm sadly aware of the flip side of all of this where the darling child or children have (almost) ruined a loving parents life.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-06-20 22:22:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Get your ass to NH, Val.
Drag George along.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-06-20 19:41:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Drive me to NH on the 14th George. I demand it.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-06-20 19:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're stupid, paying 12 dollars a box for condoms.
I make my own.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-06-20 19:20:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-06-20 06:59:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
If Ubersite were a real place in a building there would be a sign over the door in bright neon colours saying "all mentally ill and manically depressed folks come here now!"
=============================================
Having a rather unpleasant past doesn't make you mentally ill or manically depressed. I'm glad to know that you live in a happy sunshine place filled with babies and rainbows and goats, where nothing ever goes wrong, the sun always shines, and condoms are leass than 12 dollars a box.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-06-20 17:24:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I still don't know if this was true or not, but either way, it was pretty well written.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-06-20 15:44:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Um... DAYUM...
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-20 15:27:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2005-06-20 15:24:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i feel the same way about my father.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-20 14:19:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hope you sent a card...
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-20 13:35:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oddly enough I was going to post something ridiculously similar to this. I won't say I know how you feel, because I don't. But I know how this makes me feel and in a way it's good to know that there are others that can relate, but also sad for the same reason.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-06-20 13:16:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"ska-" you know what,
fuck it. just fuck it.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-06-20 13:02:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
= (
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-06-20 12:58:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
btw, it pains me to hear of your experiences. I can't stand it when people tell me things like that happen to them. Hope you feel better.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-06-20 12:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well, My Dad's in California and my Stepfather is in prison. So I didn't have to do anything, i'll probably post on my stepfather some time, he was an interesting guy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-06-20 12:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, at least now I see where the bitterness and fucked-up-ness comes from.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-06-20 11:03:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-06-20 11:02:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love girls with daddy issues.
Must be why I sit and think of ways to get you naked.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-06-20 11:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-06-20 08:29:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, you've turned out all right in spite of all he did or said.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-06-20 10:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We should start an Anti Fathers Day for Assholes like him.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2005-06-20 10:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I *heart* Val.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-06-20 10:33:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've burned men alive for less.
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-06-20 08:51:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I voulenteer to kill him for you!! Who's with me?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-06-20 08:29:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, you've turned out all right in spite of all he did or said.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-06-20 08:24:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
eat him
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-20 08:05:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everybody in the world is mentally ill and almost everybody in the world is depressed.
--------
if this was the truth, they wouldn't be classified as either. It would be normal.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-06-20 07:45:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-06-20 06:59:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
If Ubersite were a real place in a building there would be a sign over the door in bright neon colours saying "all mentally ill and manically depressed folks come here now!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Everybody in the world is mentally ill and almost everybody in the world is depressed.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2005-06-20 07:19:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah parts of this ring a bit true for me too.
But he died last year and I'm just concentrating on the (few) good points that were there.. makes it easier.
I don't like being angry.
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-06-20 07:17:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PARENTS SUCK.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-06-20 07:14:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-20 07:01:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was kind of formulaic, no?
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-06-20 06:59:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If Ubersite were a real place in a building there would be a sign over the door in bright neon colours saying "all mentally ill and manically depressed folks come here now!"
Submitted by transformer (user info) at 2005-06-20 06:32:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm just not feeling the sincerity, Valerie
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-06-20 06:27:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
self-analyzation - worst word ever.
self-analysis?
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-06-20 06:26:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually I just put that so he can't sue me for defamation of character or anything. It's all true.
Sorry guys.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-06-20 06:24:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
From my writing experiences, I'd say at least some of it's based in reality. That bit about the Gramma money could be true. In which case, I'm sorry.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-06-20 06:21:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-06-20 06:04:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Author's Note: *This was, in its entirety, a work of complete fiction! Names, places, and events are a complete and total fabrication of my fragile mind*
------------------------
Phew.
-Dave
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-06-20 06:17:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He he... oh, I'm so glad.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-20 06:16:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-06-20 06:04:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-06-20 06:04:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Author's Note: *This was, in its entirety, a work of complete fiction! Names, places, and events are a complete and total fabrication of my fragile mind*
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-06-20 06:04:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Take him to see your Uncle Jerry
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-06-20 06:03:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope this is fiction and not autobiographical.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-06-20 06:03:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It should make you feel good to know you're better than he is.