Waiting For the Love of a Traveling Soldier (2293 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.93 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JMG114 (View user info) at 2005-06-20 11:50:45 EDT
" . . . with no chance of a cease-fire in sight. Again, current totals from the front lines are twenty-thousand, six-hundred, and forty dead, two-hundred-fifty-thousand, seven-hundred, and one wounded. And that's the way it is."
Walter Cronkite's voice dissolved into the night as Jim Bailey turned off the television set. Turning around, he faced his wife and daughter and smiled. "Time for bed."
Beth passed her night table and lovingly tapped her new piccolo, a present from her parents for her 18th birthday. She knelt, rolled up her white cotton nightgown, clasped her hands, and prayed aside her bed. "God bless Mom and Dad, and Aunt Sandra, and Uncle Dave. God bless Gwen, Richard, and Ann. Please God also bless all of the American soldiers fighting in Vietnam. Help us win the war and bring everyone home safe. Thank you."
Standing up, she climbed under the sheets and closed her eyes slowly. Her face was bathed in pale blue moonlight.
"Service on table five, Beth." Danny Smith, a pimply-faced, lanky 23-year-old pointed to a table with a lone patron, his back to her, on the far end of the diner. Beth put her book down, picked up her notepad, tightened the yellow bow in her hair and strolled over to table five.
A young man no older than twenty was sitting at the table. He was in army fatigues and intently studied the menu. When she arrived at the table, he did not notice her. She took the few brief moments of his obliviousness to study the slope of his forehead, the sharp curve of his nose, and his two reddish-pink lips. His mouth was closed and his expression solemn, as if guarding a tomb.
The boy glanced up from the menu and stared at the blonde girl standing next to him, then quickly looked away, out the window. Her blue eyes were wide and warm, and her face was fair and lovely. He blushed and looked down at his hands.
She smiled and spoke softly. "How are you this morning, sir?"
He looked away again, then nodded slowly. "I'm—I'm okay."
"Can I get you a pot of coffee? Mary brews a great cup."
"Yeah, that sounds . . .fine."
He looked at her, for once more than just a moment. She grinned and he weakly smiled back. She asked, "You're in the army?"
He exhaled sharply and looked forward. "Yes, Miss. I'm waiting for the Cleveland bus. I'm shipping out from there in a few days to . . . to . . ."
"It's okay," she patted his shoulder, "I'm sure you'll be fine. I'm awful proud of boys like you."
"You are?"
"Yes sir, I am. I think you're very brave and you're doing the right thing."
"Thanks," he mumbled, his face bright red.
"You're welcome. What can I get you?"
"Hey, let me . . . what's your name?"
"I'm Beth."
"Hi Beth. I'm Henry."
"A pleasure, Henry." She extended her hand and he took it, feeling her soft skin.
He cleared his throat. "Hey, let me . . . this is going to sound right strange . . . would you mind sitting down for a while? Maybe just have a little talk? I'm feeling a little low."
Beth glanced in Danny's direction. He was yelling at a cook for burning a batch of fries.
"Sure," she whispered gently, "I'm off in an hour and I know where we can go."
Wilson Lake was silent, although the occasional ripple fluttered through the water and the seldom breeze lifted through the trees. Beth and Henry sat at the pier's edge. She dangled her legs into the water while he sat straight up, cross-legged. When he talked, he spoke to her reflection in the water.
"I'll bet you have a boyfriend, right?" he began, his voice cracking.
Beth smiled and looked away.
Henry continued, "Well, I don't care." He threw a small pebble into the water. "I have no one to send a letter to. No family, no friends, nobody. Maybe the army'll make me feel welcome, you know?"
"Maybe. You really have nobody?"
"I—no. No one, not anymore."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay." He poked at the water with a stick. "I was wondering, you know, since you seem so friendly and all . . . would you mind if I sent a letter to you? While I was away?"
Beth looked away. This time, she blinked her eyes to hold back the tears.
May 25, 1968
Dear Beth,
I hope you got my first letter from California. From there, they shipped us to Vietnam but I can't tell you where. I heard that President Johnson isn't going to seek re-election. Maybe that's a good thing. No one seems to like being here, and we're all a little scared. My troop is still really friendly, though.
To tell you the truth, I've heard some terrible things, and I think I might be more scared than most of the other fellows here. They say that the VC burned an entire transport with the guys still inside it, and another time I heard that they shot a whole bunch of our soldiers and pushed their bodies into a pit, with no graves or markers. I haven't seen any action yet, but they're sending us off to Saigon City, or so the word is. I may not be able to write back for a while.
When I get really scared, I like closing my eyes and thinking about that day by the lake with you. I know I'm a little shy and that I'm not too good with words. I just wanted to tell you that I never, ever believed in love at first sight, up until I saw you. You're all I think about, and I miss you so much. Thanks for being there for me, and thank you for being what I'm fighting for.
I love you.
Love,
Henry.
Three months later, Beth played her piccolo for the band at the town's local football game, as she always did on Friday nights. As the last strains of the national anthem echoed off the stands, the band sat down in the metal bleachers. It was a playoff game and the field was packed, yet eerily quiet.
Edward Fitch, a small, gray-haired man and the head of the local football league, adjusted the microphone at the center of the field and spoke, "Let's give a hand to the Akron Regional Band, ladies and gentlemen."
The crowd clapped enthusiastically, but for none too long. Everyone knew what was coming next.
"And now, if you would all bow your heads for a list of local war dead."
Men removed their hats, women closed their eyes, and children stared at their feet.
Fitch cleared his throat. "Jack Casey, Ronnie Mason, Ted Meyers, Philip Nickels, John Pierstaad, Henry Yarrow. May God bless and keep them all."
The game began, and the crowd woke from its somber slumber. After the clash was over, the teams shook hands, people streamed out from the stands, and the lights were finally shut off in the field.
No one noticed the girl curled under the bleachers, sobbing softly to herself. No one noticed as she pulled the yellow ribbons out of her hair.
(Based on the song, "Traveling Soldier" by the Dixie Chicks)
User Reviews
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2005-08-19 04:31:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate the Dixie Chicks. But I'm a sucker for patriotic soldier songs.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-06-26 12:03:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just another reason why you're one of the top MVA, pal. Rawr~
Submitted by SpecialKR4 (user info) at 2005-06-21 11:02:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Love that song.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2005-06-21 00:44:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Mario (user info) at 2005-06-20 22:56:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Weird, I lived a lot of my childhood in Akron. Can I send you all love letters?
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-06-20 22:06:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it.
Submitted by MikeyP3184 (user info) at 2005-06-20 20:03:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As a Soldier I know how important it is to have someone at home to write to...even if you barely know them. That sort of connection really does help a person keep their sanity in insane situations. Keep up the good work.
MikeyP3184
82 Airborne Division
Submitted by doctorj24 (user info) at 2005-06-20 18:35:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was going to +1 this for reasons mentioned by others, but then I remembered all the other crap out there on Uber. +2 for sure.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-06-20 18:10:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jared's in LOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEEEEEE!
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-20 14:56:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-06-20 14:34:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by iradney (user info) at 2005-06-20 14:28:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-20 13:50:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-06-20 13:49:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-06-20 13:22:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-06-20 13:03:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-06-20 12:30:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Country song post linkwhore:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44980
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-20 12:29:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i just felt the letter and the ending were a little out of step with the rest.
--------
That would be the dixie chicks inability to write a decent set of song lyrics.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2005-06-20 12:26:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
it has lovely description and the interaction is poignant without being saccharine. maybe i misinterpreted what you were doing, but yeah, i just felt the letter and the ending were a little out of step with the rest.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-06-20 12:25:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe I'm +2ing a story based on a COUNTRY song... but...well fuck, here you go.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-06-20 12:25:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tough song to grasp in such a short piece. You could have done 5 pages with this song. Nice work.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-06-20 12:21:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, Sam. I appreciate the advice.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2005-06-20 12:20:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the end lost me. i found it a little abrupt, and the letter didnt work for me either, i think it told a little too much, if you take my meaning.
their awkward, stilted first meeting should have been reflected in that letter. it is easier to say thigns with a pen than it is with the voice but the breif idea of henry i got didnt gel with that letter so well...
nice stry though, maybe a slight change and/or about 500 words more would do it justice.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-06-20 12:19:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jared, the post was better than the song.
Submitted by highlander (user info) at 2005-06-20 12:14:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's an incredible piece of writing.
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-06-20 12:09:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
great googly moogly, I liked that.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-06-20 12:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-06-20 12:05:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wasn't in the city on Saturday night, although the idea of an evil clone pleases me.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-06-20 12:05:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahh.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-20 12:03:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sg11588, clearly something is rotten in the state of Über.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-20 12:02:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2005-06-20 12:02:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jared - this is a stupid question, but by any chance were you walking on West 44th street in front of Sardi's on Saturday night, around 10, 10:15pm?
Either that or you have an evil twin.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-20 11:56:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-06-20 11:55:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF RAD POSTED BEFORE ME! THATS CRAZY BECAUSE WE ONCE REVIEWED ON TEH SAME SECOND TOO!! REMEMBER THAT?!?!?!1onehundredandeleven
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-06-20 11:54:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOu rock my world, Jared.
Serious shit.
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-06-20 11:54:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude...you guys posted on the same second. Nice story too.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68927
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-20 11:53:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I made sure I read the lyrics to that song as well as this.
Glad to see a version of it that isn't complete shit.