Elemental 21 (685 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 2 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kre8rix (View user info) at 2005-06-21 15:04:51 EDT
Elemental 20: http://www.ubersite.com/m/66558
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"We're leaving...now"
Aaron stood, brushing the ash off his clothing; watching in awe as flecks of ash arose in the heat from the glowing embers that used to be Michaels' spinal vertebrae.
"How did...what happe..." Spencer began.
"I don't know!" Aaron interrupted in a flash of anger, disgusted with his underestimation of the girl. "However, we are done sitting around. It's time we end this."
Spencer heard the hesitation in Aarons' voice, but thought better of saying anything. He had never sensed Aaron to be afraid of anything or anyone; not until now. Now he could see it, growing steadily in his eyes. This girl, this child had Aaron scared; she had all of them scared.
He looked to the Necrolem, its' placid stare revealing no sign of emotion. Its twisted, bulky frame heaved as it breathed, as though it was having trouble doing so. The thick blue-scales had completely covered its' face, glistening in the yellow-tainted light of the cheap motel room. It turned towards him and met his gaze with harsh reptilian eyes. Internally he shuddered as he looked into its' hollow, emotionless gaze. It frightened him, this dead Elemental. If what he heard of the Necrolem was true, Aaron would have to dedicate a great deal of energy into controlling it; and for the first time, his faith in the abilities of their leader faltered.
He turned his attention back to Aaron and Dara. He could still feel the cold, dead stare of the Necrolem, but he couldn't see the menacing smile that crept across its' face.
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"What are we going to do," Jaythen asked frantically.
Jessica kissed Seamus gently on his charred forehead and laid him gently on the floor; her tears streaking his face.
"Oh god, Seamus is dead," Jaythen continued as the others looked on in shocked silence, "What are we going to do now. They're going to kill us. They're going to kill all of..."
His frenetic babbling was stopped short by a slap to his face.
"Get a hold of yourself, Jaythen," Erin snapped, glaring into his eyes, "This is not the time, and you are not helping."
He rubbed the side of his face, but said nothing else.
"Jess..."
Erin placed a hand on Jessica's shoulder as she stood, still watching Seamus' lifeless body lying on the floor.
"I...I killed him," Her voice crushed to an almost inaudible level.
"No, Jess; they killed him. They used you to kill him. They tried to use you to kill all of us, but you stopped them."
"It's my fault he's dead," she continued, as though she couldn't hear Erin's words.
"Jessica, listen to me!" Erin snapped.
"No,"
Erin stepped back slightly as Jessica's rage filled gaze met hers. The flames that wreathed her eyes shifted color violently; her clenched fists arced violet-blue current, filling the air with a coppery static charge as it surged chaotically into the ground around her. A thick cyclonic wind encircled her as she stood; the others covering their eyes against the torrent of ash and debris.
"I'm through talking," She hissed, her voice barely perceptible over the din growing in the charred warehouse.
Without another word she lunged toward the outer wall of the building, a thick column of white flame incinerating the brick as she launched herself through it. The sudden release of energy violently launched Erin and the others into the opposing walls, rendering them unconscious.
-------
Dara smiled maniacally as he listened to his masters' plan. He rocked back and forth eagerly on his heels and a small blaze flickered behind his eyes as his excitement grew. He lived for nights like this; and he wasn't about to let his master down once the leash had been released. It took all the self restraint he had to stop from giggling aloud.
-------
By the time Erin regained consciousness, Jessica was gone; the perimeter of the brick hole still glowing from the heat of the blast. She looked around for Eirnin and Jaythen and found them sitting against the far wall, still half buried in debris but neither looked injured. They looked at her pleadingly as she stood and dusted herself off.
"Where are you going?" Jaythen asked, though he already knew the answer.
"I've got to find Jess. I don't care if she is the Child of Legend or not, she can't win this on her own."
"But...Erin...I..."
"Don't worry, I don't expect you to follow," She said curtly. Deep red flames encircled her body as she turned toward the opening. A sudden, powerful combustion launched her through the hole in the wall and into the night; the two younger Elementals watching in disbelief.
-------
Robert draped his old leather jacket over Nichole's shoulders as they exited the restaurant. She looked at him thankfully and pulled the collar closed to protect her from the unexpected chill of the evening. This night was special for the young couple. It was their two year anniversary and Robert had planned a special evening for the two of them. It seemed they hardly got to spend and quality time together since he had gotten promoted at work three months earlier. It had put a difficult strain on their relationship, but one that they both were willing to work through.
He had proposed to her over dinner; she said yes.
The couple walked calmly down the partially lit city avenue, content in each others' silence. It was as if the same streets they had walked together dozens of times before were new and fascinating to them. The entire dynamic of their world had changed, and they were both lost in the wonder of it.
"Excuse me," uttered a voice from behind, breaking the couple from their silent reverie.
They turned their attention to the young, red-haired man standing behind them.
"I don't mean to interrupt," He continued; a surreal smile crossing his face. "But I was wondering if you have a cigarette I could have,"
Robert eyed the smiling man suspiciously as he pulled a half empty pack from his pants pocket. He strategically stepped between Nichole and this stranger as he handed him a cigarette.
"Thanks, I appreciate it," The man said, still grinning as he took the cigarette, "Hell of an addiction, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is," Robert replied, his distrust increasing as the man's smile never wavered.
"Wish I never started,"
"We have to get going now. Do you need a light?" Robert asked, his innate politeness getting the better of him as Nichole pulled on his sleeve.
"No thanks," Dara replied, as he started laughing, "I have my own."
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Jessica stopped mid-flight as an explosion several blocks ahead of her lit up the night sky. It quickly darkened as a small, dark cloud erupted from the street. Her flame-wreathed eyes narrowed as a small wave of nausea washed over her.
"Gotcha,"
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Dara's psychotic laughter echoed through the ruined city streets. The charred remains of Robert and Nichole lay scattered across the scorched avenue. Aaron and Spencer emerged from the alleyway behind him and surveyed the damage.
"Christ, Dara," Spencer began, "I don't think you drew enough attention to yourself."
Spencer leaned casually against the wall as Dara turned toward him, his laughter subsiding.
"Just doing what I was told," He grinned, still giggling at his handiwork. Aaron approached his young apprentice, a smile on his face as well.
"You have done well. If that doesn't get their attention, nothing will,"
"Is this a good idea, sir?" Spencer asked, "I mean, we really don't know what she's capable of,"
"And she has no idea about the Necrolem. She doesn't stand a chance."
"Well I'm just not sure we..."
Spencer never felt the column of liquid fire pour down over him; the intense heat instantly transforming him into a statue of glowing ash. A bolt of lightning closely followed the trail of flame from the roof of the building; exploding through what was left of Spencer in a combustion of ash. Jessica landed on the ground where Spencer had stood moments before and slowly stood to face Aaron and Dara, glowing embers of what used to be their ally haloed around her. The flames surrounding her body blended with thick bolts of electricity. She looked toward Aaron and Dara with violent intent.
"I heard you were looking for me,"
User Reviews
Submitted by Alter (user info) at 2007-09-26 22:28:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, Comment.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-29 17:04:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Part 22: http://www.ubersite.com/m/69612
Submitted by Blackhailfire (user info) at 2005-06-25 18:32:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
just waiting for the next ones.
Submitted by algermetiphist (user info) at 2005-06-25 12:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No comment.
Submitted by DamianD (user info) at 2005-06-23 09:50:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent as always.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-22 16:27:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh, and to finish ansewring the question from earlier:
They were going to start killing loads of innocent people to draw the Elementals out. They have been the hunted and would probably see that it was a lure, but they are the guardians and, being the good guys, still have a strong sense of moral obligation to help those people.
That should cover it...
Submitted by Remission (user info) at 2005-06-22 15:28:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't think WYSE terminals are very wise. Great story so far!
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-22 12:19:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hey bayley, thanks for reading.
I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-22 12:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-06-22 07:46:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Some criticisms that came to me: 'Aaron' is not a threatening name for your badass villain. If I ever got my ass whipped by a guy named Aaron I might have to kill myself. Also, you've already got Erin.
The 'getting their attention' thing that the dude does by frying those two humans; I'm not sure how that would get their attention -- can they 'sense' big displays of power like that? Even if they could, why would they respond (assuming Jess wasn't all pissed like she is)? They've been hunted for this entire series, they would surely know that it's a lure, yes?
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Yeah I didn't realize the Aaron/Erin thing until it was waaaaaaaay too late to do anything about it; and don't be too doubtful of the ass-whipping abilities of people named Aaron ( it's my middle name, thanks).
The getting their attention thing was sort of a fluke deal. Aaron's plan was for them to cause some major Chaos, but Jess was already looking for them so when the explosion hit, she showed up before they had a chance to do anything else.
Again, it's one of those 'made sense in my head because I know what's going on' kind of things.
Whoa, I almost gave away part of the next installment( not that you knew that, but again; it's my head). That being the case I have a little room to explain it better.
Submitted by Bayley (user info) at 2005-06-22 10:32:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just read the whole thing this morning! Can't wait for the rest!
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-06-22 07:46:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some criticisms that came to me: 'Aaron' is not a threatening name for your badass villain. If I ever got my ass whipped by a guy named Aaron I might have to kill myself. Also, you've already got Erin.
The 'getting their attention' thing that the dude does by frying those two humans; I'm not sure how that would get their attention -- can they 'sense' big displays of power like that? Even if they could, why would they respond (assuming Jess wasn't all pissed like she is)? They've been hunted for this entire series, they would surely know that it's a lure, yes?
Apologies if the answer is evident in previous posts. I'm a little hazy on the backstory.
Anyway, 30 Days of Night I thought was overrated. The style of that book seems way too dark and 'horror-genre' for Elemental, if that's what you were getting at. I think you'd benefit from something a little crisper and brighter.
If you're looking for a good, gritty read, check out Batman: Year One, Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. Most kickass zombie story ever: Walking Dead (three volumes available so far). Great superhero coming-of-age stuff: Invincible (4 volumes so far).
I could go on and on.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-06-22 01:02:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's pack the stack.
Yackety Yack
...don't talk back.
...
(Is that from a song in "The Great Outdoors? That came out of nowhere)
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-21 23:58:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I may have mentioned it in the beginning...Been a while for me too
I am doing the art for them as well...I'm not quite sure what I'm going for yet. I have these books, 30 days of night and dark days by Steve niles and Ben Templesmith; really good dark watercolor style stuff. What did you have in mind? suggestions are always welcome.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-06-21 23:50:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Remember?" Did I ever know that? It's been so long.
Well, that's pretty damn cool. Are you doing the art as well? If you ever wanna talk graphic novels, give me a shout, I have quite a few and can point you in the direction of some cool ones.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-21 23:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-06-21 22:41:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice! I am constantly reeling from the speed at which this story moves. I always get bogged down with details and descriptions, but you're all, "IT'S GO TIME!", and this post is a prime example of that.
Nice ending to the installment. Has me looking forward to the big showdown!
==========
Remember dude, this started out as a premise for a graphic novel. I generally don't do too much description because when it's all said and done, half of it with be shown in picture anyway.
I probably should slow down, take the time to flesh it out a little bit for the text only version; But for right now it seems to be working ok just flying through.
I did a bit of math today and I'm roughly 80 pages into this story, and I still have a lot more to cover before it's done.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-06-21 22:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice! I am constantly reeling from the speed at which this story moves. I always get bogged down with details and descriptions, but you're all, "IT'S GO TIME!", and this post is a prime example of that.
Nice ending to the installment. Has me looking forward to the big showdown!
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-21 20:55:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-06-21 20:49:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet. You'd *better* continue with this, by the way...
*glares menacingly*
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aww...and here I was thinking you'd forgotten about me (or at the very least got tired of waiting around for me to do something).
Good to see ya.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-06-21 20:49:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet. You'd *better* continue with this, by the way...
*glares menacingly*
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-06-21 20:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very well written. no shortage of intrique here.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2005-06-21 17:46:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pwesome, as usual, compadre.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-06-21 15:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
vote for wardy. he promises cherry filled mountain goats when he wins!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-06-21 15:28:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very very cool, Glad to hear you're going to give this some of your attention. Good stuff man.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-21 15:17:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-06-21 15:12:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn. I gotta go back and refresh as well...
Dude, didn't you say for me to email you? How can I do that without an addy?
======
Sorry, I thought it was around here somewhere...
Kre8rix.at.gmail.com
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-06-21 15:12:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn. I gotta go back and refresh as well...
Dude, didn't you say for me to email you? How can I do that without an addy?
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-21 15:07:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I need to go back and start this series from the beginning.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-06-21 15:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm going to start buckling down on this series, it's been sitting stagnant for too long.
To all that read it; thanks for the patience.
-K