JonnyX's Tips on Being Evil, plus CookieLass' lingerie! (993 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dumb JobsRating: 1.39 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JonnyX (View user info) at 2005-06-22 11:52:38 EDT
One of the most mind-numbing jobs has to be that of the drive-thru ordertaker.
You have to put up with idiots and people who have never been to a drive thru in their entire lives, until today, and have to have the entire process explained to them.
And the ordertaker can't do anything back, besides throw your change at you - at least the guy at the food window can spit on your hamburger before he gives it to you.
Since the ordertakers are unwilling bottoms to my sadistic top, I like to fuck with them when I can.
So, since summer's coming up, here is JonnyX's Tip on Being Evil for today!
When you go to McBurger, or Burger Overlord (Have it MY way, or die!), order a regular, plain hamburger. These are usually under a dollar or so, so you'll be paying with coins. (89 cents plus tax, so it comes 96 cents for example)
Now, count out your 96 cents in change, and make sure you've got more than half that in pennies (important later).
Spread the change out on your dashboard. Roll up in the windows and leave in the hot summer sun for several hours.
Now, we're ready to go eat! Make sure you wear a pair of light driving gloves (not an oven mitt dumbass, it gives it away). Order your 96 cent burger. When you pull up to the D/T (and I like to pull out far, to make that poor sap stretch out his hands), pour the by-now nearly molten change directly into his unsuspecting hands.
The best part? Copper conducts more heat AND he has to count those fuckin pennies one by one whilst holding a palm full of searing pain! With any luck, his hands will blister up like a Shaolin monk graduating from the temple!
Since you've so patient with my evil tip, here is CookieLass's bra that I stole from her - I woke up on Sunday morning wearing it, stuffed with 36 1 dollar bills! I must have given out a lot of table dances that night!
User Reviews
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-01 21:14:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That chick looks like she's being teased with ice cream or something.
Submitted by KindaLikeJesus (user info) at 2006-08-01 21:05:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91174
I love causing random harm to people, despite being a drivethru worker I still laugh at the thought of giving them molten pennies, come through my DD drivethru and pull that I will simply laugh and put the change on the counter to count it. (hey count and counter maybe a connection?)
Conclusion random harm to people funny and great no matter whos on the receiving end
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2005-10-06 18:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was okay, but:
"So, since summer's coming up, here is JonnyX's Tip on Being Evil for today!"
Summer coming up? Yeah... in about 9 months, right after fall, winter and spring.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-10-06 18:27:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess i'll have to photoshop something good, then
Submitted by Richard_Whitely (user info) at 2005-09-28 08:23:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-09-27 17:40:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Richard_Whitely (user info) at 2005-09-27 09:25:48 (#)
Ranking: -2
WTF IM NOT READING ALL THAT !!!ELEVENTY ONE
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Retaliatory -2's are teh ghey secks
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-06-29 20:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm just giving you a hard time, Jonny. I'm not upset with you. I'm actually kinda glad you didn't go the porn-star route. And yes. The models were both very pretty ladies.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-29 18:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-06-29 17:19:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm still crying over being portrayed as a granny-panty wearer, but at least MY bra wasn'y as bad as the one you made poor c1ndy wear!
______
I'm sorry, I thought it would be OK - I thought this model was very attractive, so I had hoped you wouldn't mind. I did get it from jms.com, it's for the larger than average girl, hence the size. The picture quality was good as well, that's why I went with it.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-06-29 17:19:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm still crying over being portrayed as a granny-panty wearer, but at least MY bra wasn'y as bad as the one you made poor c1ndy wear!
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2005-06-29 16:40:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i've read more than one. so there.
could've been a +1 without the stupid lingerie gimmick.
Submitted by RaineLark (user info) at 2005-06-28 14:45:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for great breasts!
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:14:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We all got a couple of -2 stalkers... It's cool. It is a fun way to instigate some uber-fights sometimes when we retaliate against them back and forth.
I do it merely for fun but, sadly, some of these people I believe take it way too seriously.
If I didn't hate pennies so much, I'd do this trick myself. Plus...driving my current POS minivan with driving gloves would simply be weird.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-06-23 13:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*Urinates in toll booth bin*
Oh, I was supposed to but PENNIES in there?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-23 12:57:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-06-22 19:11:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
thought ratings from banned users didn't count...
______
sometimes they don't get perma-banned, bart shuts them down for a while, and then they come back.
Submitted by Airstream (user info) at 2005-06-22 20:07:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:05:32 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Airstream (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:39:33 (#)
Ranking: -2
You wish you were amusing.
Submitted by Kamargo (user info) at 2005-06-22 19:44:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-06-22 13:02:20 (#)
Ranking: 1
What is the specific heat of a penny? I'm thinking they cool down pretty fast.
The Thermal Conductivity of a Penny is close to 123.125 W/m-K
The Specific Heat of a Penny is close to 0.39 J/g-K since Zinc and Copper have nearly the same Cg
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I will have to try that, JhonnyX
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-06-22 19:11:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thought ratings from banned users didn't count...
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-22 19:09:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:54:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, you fucking rock.
I seriously owe you one.
+2s for life for JonnyX... and my last remaining vote for UberMadness.
_____
anytime dude!
You should see my old posts, they're littered with -2s from fuckers who spam-2ed me, then got banned - that's why my rating is so low.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:56:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, now that I've actually READ this post, I find it to be pretty fucking funny.
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-06-22 18:54:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, you fucking rock.
I seriously owe you one.
+2s for life for JonnyX... and my last remaining vote for UberMadness.
Submitted by Airstream (user info) at 2005-06-22 17:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You wish you were amusing.
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2005-06-22 13:29:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Amusing.. I am hoever, easily amused.
Oooh! Shiney thing!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-22 13:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-06-22 13:02:20 (#)
Ranking: 1
What is the specific heat of a penny? I'm thinking they cool down pretty fast.
____
well, yeah, that's why you have to perform this with a quickness.
I don't want to burn the restaurant down, just to fuck with the drivethru monkey.
Submitted by Vulva (user info) at 2005-06-22 13:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Woman: "Orca! Orca!" "Ohhhh I love the Orca"
Man: "I thought the Humpback was your favorite."
Woman: "I recently changed my mind."
Man: "I thought we established that the Humpback was MY favorite!"
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-06-22 13:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What is the specific heat of a penny? I'm thinking they cool down pretty fast.
Submitted by manicvelocity (user info) at 2005-06-22 12:56:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Truly evil.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-06-22 12:40:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Eeeeeeeevil, evil is his one and only name~
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-22 12:40:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-22 11:55:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
so is that her wearing the bra or you? Or did you hire someone to model it?
______
yeshm, thatsh me, eversh since the strokesh, I have the uncontrollable urgesh to wear brash...
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-06-22 12:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i think this woman has had a stroke.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-06-22 12:17:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-06-22 11:54:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
don't ever do mine, you'd never do my lingerie collection justice
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sounds like a camwhore is in order
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-22 12:11:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
she does have this Pam Grier/Mary Jo Buttafuoco frozen mouth thing going.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-06-22 12:10:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
May your karmic retribution be swift and unpleasant.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-06-22 12:10:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude. Jonny.
That has GOT to be the ugliest grammaw brasierre I have EVER seen. Why can't I have sexy undies?! Why must I always be left out of the hotness?
You only get a +2 because you're spreading the evil. Aside from that, you're GROUNDED
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-22 12:10:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://funk_boy.isagaylord.com/
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-22 12:09:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HA! Poor bastards.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-06-22 11:57:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That back looks a little hairy.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-22 11:55:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so is that her wearing the bra or you? Or did you hire someone to model it?
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-06-22 11:54:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
she's particularily ugly
http://jonnyX.isagaylord.com/
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-06-22 11:54:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
don't ever do mine, you'd never do my lingerie collection justice